Teen Mom

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I thought so. My brother went to high school with her and the father of her baby.

[hoops902]

May 25, 2012 13:56:45 GMT -5 Angel! said:

May 25, 2012 13:50:22 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

It's definitely one of those "I hate him, he's an ass", and then when he dies, it's "oh we are such a tragic story, 2 young people who loved each other so much torn apart so early".

I am guessing it is really common to romanticize what could have been when someone dies early in a relationship. You can never get proven wrong that they absolutely wouldn't have been the best husband/wife.

I guess what I find odd is the whole admission that they weren't even together. And then as it goes on it becomes this weird "well we weren't together, but we kind of were a little in some ways ya know?". I don't find the "what could have been" as weird as the transformation of the historical "what they were".

[8 Bit WWBG]

I caught bits of one of the "<x>teen and pregnant" shows in the gym. The baby-daddy was very upset that he was expected to sell his special edition xbox 360, but he did it in the end. He also drove what appeared to be a pretty nice pontiac solstice or saturn skye. In that particular episode, I think it was the teens own parents who were not very supportive. The guys parents seemed nice.

Are the baby-daddy's typically also 16ish, or are they ever much older? I suppose that would open up a whole mess of legal issues?

I'm sure the image of a guy having to sell his cool stuff to pay for "yet another test" would certainly make one consider the consequences.

And I still don't get why protection seems to be such an issue. But then a lot of people are dumb. DW has a friend who got knocked up because she believed the guy when he said he was sterile or something. Cripes...

[movingforward]

"And I still don't get why protection seems to be such an issue. But then a lot of people are dumb. DW has a friend who got knocked up because she believed the guy when he said he was sterile or something. Cripes..."

That is pretty stupid. I often wonder about guys too who automatically believe a girl when she says she is on BC. If you are in a relationship that is one thing. You know the person and trust them, but I have a male friend who had a one night stand with a girl and she ended up pregnant. He is from a wealthy family and took over the family business when his father passed away. He is paying mega bucks in child support. At any rate, when he found out she was pregnant he was all dumbfounded and like well, she said she was on the pill. I looked at him like he was an idiot. Good grief, you don't even know this woman. She could be carrying anything so wouldn't you want to use a condom??? He said he was completely drunk off his ass and didn't know what he was doing.

[Angel!]

May 25, 2012 15:14:01 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

Are the baby-daddy's typically also 16ish, or are they ever much older? I suppose that would open up a whole mess of legal issues?

One in the show I am watching seems to be much older, although it has never been said. He just seems way more mature than the girl & has a job when she isn't working & can't manage to get her GED.

[justme]

It's a mix. Some of the dads are just as young as the girls, and others are a few years older (though usually act just as young).

[Works4me]

almost40 - hope your friend had a DNA test done?

[movingforward]

May 25, 2012 15:52:56 GMT -5 Works4me said:

almost40 - hope your friend had a DNA test done?

He definitely did. The crazy thing is that none of us even knew he was a father until this child was 2 months old!! Like I said, this girl was a one night stand and none of us even knew who she was. Apparently, she first said she was going to have an abortion, and then she said she was having the baby but she didn't want him to have anything to do with the child and then she decided she did want him to be a part of the child's life. I think he was embarrassed or something and also didn't want anyone to know until he was certain the child was his. Everything is great now. He has the child every other weekend and they are very civil to one another, etc. There was no emotional bond between the two of them so basically it was just a matter of legal paperwork. He spoils this little girl rotten. He just bought her a pony for her 5th birthday.

[kgb18]

I used to watch "16 & Pregnant" and "Teen Mom." I quit. I started getting so upset over both shows, for a variety of reasons, that I just quit watching. There were a couple of "Teen Mom" episodes that I was literally crying thinking of how those poor babies were going to grow up. I just couldn't take it.

[kindthatjingles]

May 25, 2012 16:12:17 GMT -5 kgb18 said:

I used to watch "16 & Pregnant" and "Teen Mom." I quit. I started getting so upset over both shows, for a variety of reasons, that I just quit watching. There were a couple of "Teen Mom" episodes that I was literally crying thinking of how those poor babies were going to grow up. I just couldn't take it.

I read on a gossip site today Amber volunteered to go to prison so she would not have to continue with drug counseling.
Her child is adorable and doesn't have a chance with a total loser for her Mother.... I keep thinking where is CPS in this mess?

[thyme4change]

There were a couple of "Teen Mom" episodes that I was literally crying thinking of how those poor babies were going to grow up. I just couldn't take it.

Sadly, there are many more babies being brought up in a manner that makes me want to cry vs. how I think babies should be brought up.

I didn't watch all the episodes, but I do remember the blonde girl with the thick southern accent (Maci??) - she had a little boy. Not that she was ideal, but I thought she was making the best lemonade. Maybe I just saw the episodes where she was pulling it together.

[justme]

I read on a gossip site today Amber volunteered to go to prison so she would not have to continue with drug counseling.
Her child is adorable and doesn't have a chance with a total loser for her Mother.... I keep thinking where is CPS in this mess?

They have been. They've taken her and given her to her dad a couple of times, especially since Amber's in jail. From the show he seems decently stable/good...as long as he's not around Amber.

[justme]

I didn't watch all the episodes, but I do remember the blonde girl with the thick southern accent (Maci??) - she had a little boy. Not that she was ideal, but I thought she was making the best lemonade. Maybe I just saw the episodes where she was pulling it together.

Maci's doing the best from what they put on the show. Especially when you look at the kid's father - he seems to always hand his son off to his parents whenever he gets him.

[Angel!]

May 25, 2012 16:40:40 GMT -5 justme said:

I read on a gossip site today Amber volunteered to go to prison so she would not have to continue with drug counseling.
Her child is adorable and doesn't have a chance with a total loser for her Mother.... I keep thinking where is CPS in this mess?

They have been. They've taken her and given her to her dad a couple of times, especially since Amber's in jail. From the show he seems decently stable/good...as long as he's not around Amber.

Ack! Amber ends up in jail. I didn't expect that although she does seem to be the least mature, most bitchy girl on the show. The dad appears to try pretty hard & all she does is treat him like crap.

Maci does seem the most put together out of the group. She often sounds extremely mature when she talks.

[thyme4change]

Maci's doing the best from what they put on the show. Especially when you look at the kid's father - he seems to always hand his son off to his parents whenever he gets him.

At least he seems to be around. But yes, he would have preferred a different course of action upon the results of the pregancy test.

Ack! Amber ends up in jail. I didn't expect that

The first episode I saw was Amber trying to pass the GED. That girl was clearly trouble - no question. I thought her boyfriend could do better. I wasn't surprised at all when I heard all the shenanigans she pulled. As far as I'm concerned - let her stay in jail. She will likely never be a positive contribution to society.

[Angel!]

May 25, 2012 17:08:38 GMT -5 @tbird said:

May 25, 2012 12:08:00 GMT -5 Angel! said:

The one I have been watching has a girl that is horrible about this. She always talks about how she is a teenager & deserves to be able to live like a teenager. I do want to slap her. With her though the parents always give in after a fight & still watch the baby. Annoying.

I bet Casey anthony's parents wish they had just taken the baby more and let her go be a teen/young adult/whatever.

So what is the answer? You just let your kid do whatever they want & you suffer the consequences of having to raise an infant?

Honestly, I think I would want legal custody if my kid can't be responsible for her own kid & I am stuck taking care of the kid anyway.

[thyme4change]

Maybe the answer is to discourage keeping the baby.

Maybe the answer is forced (or covert) birth control for your teenaged girls.

[midjd]

That is pretty stupid. I often wonder about guys too who automatically believe a girl when she says she is on BC.

Funny story, kind of related - one of DH's cousins started dating a girl with a 4yo son. About 2 months into the relationship, she tells him she's pregnant, and even has an ultrasound pic to back it up. According to the cousin they stopped using condoms at that point, because hey, she was already pregnant.

About 13 months later, she gives birth to a 7lb baby.

Amazingly, despite what I'd consider to be a pretty major deception on her part, they are still together. Maybe his cousin really is dumb enough to think she was pregnant for 15 months, but come on.

[Firebird]

May 25, 2012 12:20:07 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

May 25, 2012 12:17:16 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Hoops watches Teen Mom



Yep, I was referring to Farrah. I have never seen someone so entitled in my life.

My wife is a reality tv junkie, we watch basically everything on Bravo, Food Network, and Teen Mom. I also sit very near 5 women at work who ALL watch these shows.

Teen Mom & Teen Mom 2 are actually a couple of my favorites.

Good heavens, WHY?

[Firebird]

May 25, 2012 14:33:41 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

May 25, 2012 13:56:45 GMT -5 Angel! said:

I am guessing it is really common to romanticize what could have been when someone dies early in a relationship. You can never get proven wrong that they absolutely wouldn't have been the best husband/wife.

I guess what I find odd is the whole admission that they weren't even together. And then as it goes on it becomes this weird "well we weren't together, but we kind of were a little in some ways ya know?". I don't find the "what could have been" as weird as the transformation of the historical "what they were".

I've seen that IRL. An acquaintance got his high school girlfriend knocked up. They had the baby. FUCKED. UP. RELATIONSHIP. He basically bailed and slept around while she took care of the kid (sort of, she wasn't exactly a prize herself as near as I can figure from his one-sided account). One night they were in a car wreck and she was killed. Today, he talks about her like she's a saint.

It's pretty normal I think. And to be cynical, you get a lot more sympathy with the "torn apart by tragedy" schtick than the tired old "my boyfriend is an asshole and we treat each other like crap" one.

[KaraBoo]

May 25, 2012 18:13:12 GMT -5 midjd said:

That is pretty stupid. I often wonder about guys too who automatically believe a girl when she says she is on BC.

Funny story, kind of related - one of DH's cousins started dating a girl with a 4yo son. About 2 months into the relationship, she tells him she's pregnant, and even has an ultrasound pic to back it up. According to the cousin they stopped using condoms at that point, because hey, she was already pregnant.

About 13 months later, she gives birth to a 7lb baby.

Amazingly, despite what I'd consider to be a pretty major deception on her part, they are still together. Maybe his cousin really is dumb enough to think she was pregnant for 15 months, but come on.

My old boss's son's girlfriend tried this with him - pulled the "I'm pregnant, here's the sonographic proof".

Problem was - we work in a hospital and boss's boss is the VP of Operations and worked her way up through the ranks - starting in Radiology. She took one look at the sonogram and cried foul very quickly because it was on regular computer paper instead of the thermal paper most of it is printed on. Plus - the picture was obviously an almost full term baby instead of just 2-3 months along.

The boy is still with her though (after getting another girl pregnant and dumping her while dodging jail time for gang activity that the mom - my old boss - insists he's not involve in )....it's a messed up relationship.

[taz157]

May 25, 2012 18:13:12 GMT -5 midjd said:

That is pretty stupid. I often wonder about guys too who automatically believe a girl when she says she is on BC.

Funny story, kind of related - one of DH's cousins started dating a girl with a 4yo son. About 2 months into the relationship, she tells him she's pregnant, and even has an ultrasound pic to back it up. According to the cousin they stopped using condoms at that point, because hey, she was already pregnant.

About 13 months later, she gives birth to a 7lb baby.

Amazingly, despite what I'd consider to be a pretty major deception on her part, they are still together. Maybe his cousin really is dumb enough to think she was pregnant for 15 months, but come on.

Or he didn't pay attention during sex ed.

[hoops902]

May 25, 2012 18:13:21 GMT -5 Firebird said:

May 25, 2012 12:20:07 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

My wife is a reality tv junkie, we watch basically everything on Bravo, Food Network, and Teen Mom. I also sit very near 5 women at work who ALL watch these shows.

Teen Mom & Teen Mom 2 are actually a couple of my favorites.

Good heavens, WHY?

I think because they're so predictable, we gamble with each other over the course of the seasons. "Oh they broke up, how long before they have an episode where they get back together?" "Ok how long until Janelle is on camera clearly stoned again?" "How many episodes in until Amber physically assaults someone?"

With other reality tv most of the participants are adult enough to think through the consequences of what they say. They put on an act, even if it still doesn't paint them well. These girls seem to be "real", they clearly aren't worried about painting themselves in the most positive light, which means a lot more situations where instead of thinking "I bet she's way bitchier, or stupid, or self-absorbed, than she lets on"...you have it right there blatantly in front of you.

More than motherhood I think the relationships are interesting in their dysfunction. I mean between both shows you've got physically abusive, codependent drug users, a girl so needy she'll take her baby daddy back a billion times even though her family hates him, a girl who cheats on her steady bf with her baby daddy and then blames her bf because he's not being understanding enough about her cheating, the most functional couple who gave their child up, an early marriage and then divorce due to cheating, etc.

I think it's an interesting look. The kids have very little to do with the show other than being a catalyst to force these teenagers to grow up and into more adult situations/relationships.

[8 Bit WWBG]

Some people just love drama I guess... Its also fun to be able to watch something, then nod with disapproval and feel superior. The only episode of hoarders I ever saw was similar. It was very sad to see this once nice house become a .

The relationship itself adds an interesting dynamic. The husband wanted to protect the wifes feelings and also confront the Mom about getting help, but he managed to keep his machismo in check despite the fact that the mother was really pressing his buttons.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"And to be cynical, you get a lot more sympathy with the "torn apart by tragedy" schtick than the tired old "my boyfriend is an asshole and we treat each other like crap" one.":::...

With the added benefit that the catalyst was someone elses fault, beyond your control.

[The Home 6]

May 25, 2012 17:16:36 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Maybe the answer is to discourage keeping the baby.

Maybe the answer is forced (or covert) birth control for your teenaged girls.

I'm sorry to just jump into the conversation like this, but I was having a discussion with some Army spouses about an upcoming deployment, and the subject of birth control for the females came up. I said that I was going to invent the "Depo-pen" (picture the "epi-pen" but loaded with the Depo shot) and market it to the Army for all company commanders and battalion commanders.

"OOPS, did I accidently stick you? It's cool, just epinephrine...."

Bam. No unintended pregnancies on deployment. Just ignore the civil rights violations...

[happyhoix]

May 25, 2012 17:16:36 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Maybe the answer is to discourage keeping the baby.
quote]

To me, adoption was always the way to go. Before I got married I always figured that's what I would do, if I had to.

However in watching a few of these types of shows I've been astonished at how many of these teens would rather have an abortion than give their baby up for adoption. They say they don't want to think about some 'stranger' raising their child for them, and never knowing if the baby was well taken care of.

Ok so having an abortion is better than that? I don't get it.

Not that I don't think abortions should be illegal. Just a poor second choice to adoption, all things being equal.

Maybe I'm biased, my lovely niece is adopted.

[happyhoix]

Saw just a few minutes of another one of these shows (this one is about girls trying to decide if they should give their baby up for adoption). Three pregnant teen moms went shopping and one of them was blatantly shoplifting. Afterward she bragged about it on camera, claiming that "God approved" of her shoplifting because she did it to take care of her kids (apparently she already had a couple toddlers and was pregnant with another baby.) The second teen mom said "well she's shoplifting stuff she's giving to other people as gifts, so I guess it's all right." (The girl was shoplifting jewelry to give to people as gifts.) The third mom stated shoplifting was wrong, the girl could go to jail, and she was embarressed to be around her when she did it.

I guess I'd never heard that rationalisation for shoplifting - God would approve because I'm shoplifting this jewelry to give away/take care of my babies.

Had to stop watching at that point. I had this vision of me in my 80s in a nursing home with this girl stealing my dentures and claiming that God would approve because she was stealing them for her momma.

[Deleted]

These shows prove that no matter how much education you give to people, that people are simply not rational creatures. Education alone doesn't change hearts and minds. You can teach some of these kids about birth control till you are blue in the face. Not saying we shouldn't teach that, of course we should. But, making the point that really applying that information has to go beyond the head and into one's heart and desires and so forth.

[sheilaincali]

DS is 14 and they have been covering Sex Ed in health class for the past few weeks. We ask him about it regularly to see if they are teaching anything useful. The school sent out a letter informing parents of the upcoming sex ed class and promised that the "focus would be on abstinence". The teacher spent one class session showing the kids how to put on condoms using a banana. She had to provide both the banana and the condoms out of her out pocket because they school district wouldn't pay for condoms since it went against their "abstinence promise to the parents".

I have said before we watch Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant with the Boy from time to time and try to use it as an educational tool. We have told him repeatedly that a girl telling him she's "on the pill" is no excuse for him to skip using a condom. After all I was "on the pill" when I got pregnant with him.