Artemis Windsong
Senior Associate
The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:32:12 GMT -5
Posts: 12,361
Today's Mood: Twinkling
Location: Wishing Star
Favorite Drink: Fresh, clean cold bottled water.
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Post by Artemis Windsong on May 23, 2012 14:45:19 GMT -5
I liked Vulpin. I didn't know who/where it came from but was glad someone thought of us. Just because we don't comment, doesn't mean we don't notice or care.
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TD2K
Senior Associate
Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 1:19:25 GMT -5
Posts: 10,931
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Post by TD2K on May 23, 2012 15:10:36 GMT -5
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TD2K
Senior Associate
Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 1:19:25 GMT -5
Posts: 10,931
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Post by TD2K on May 23, 2012 15:13:02 GMT -5
The original Paul
So, I watched this show last night called "Fairly Legal" the plot of which seems to be that rather than litigate cases, this cute brunette attorney (who is the ADA's ex) with a hippy dippy view of the world "mediates" them.
The main case in the episode I saw she is mediating a case between an ambulance chasing attorney and a nursing home because a patient fell and broke her hip and the ambulance chasing firm is claiming negligence.
To stay out of the courtroom, the ambulance chaser wants a nurse fired for negligence, and of course a tidy sum of money.
If the nurse could produce a witness, she could prove she didn't take a phone call as alleged, and wasn't negligent. And of course she's here on a work VISA from Haiti, and she'll be deported if she's fired.
The witness in question is a woman who isn't talking because as it turns out she is a fugitive who has been on the run in plain sight for 20 + years after taking part as a lookout for an eco terrorist organization where a security guard had his legs blown off.
The upshot is that they now know who the terrorist is, where she lives with her hubby and kids having a nice normal life under a phony name, married, kids, etc. They need her statement, and of course it's complicated by the fact that she wants an extraordinary plea agreement in exchange.
The mitigator goes to her ex, the ADA to get the plea deal, everything blows up when the DA, in an election year, goes bonkers after finding out, and through a lot of unrealistic, idealistic (in some people's minds) machinations involving attorneys aiding and abetting a known fugitive (which in the show made them 'accessories after the fact') they get their statement, and the terrorist does 3 years and pays a fine instead of 20 to 30 years.
The world is saved.
The redneck Paul I'm not sure why this changed.
So, ah watched this hyar show last night called "Fairly Legal" th' plot of which seems t'be thet rather than litigate cases, this hyar hansum brunette atto'ney (who is th' ADA's ex) wif a hippy dippy view of th' wo'ld "mediates" them, dawgone it.
Th' main case in th' episode ah sar she is mediatin' a case between an ambulance chasin' atto'ney an' a nursin' home on account o' a patient fell an' busted her hip an' th' ambulance chasin' firm is claimin' neglijunce.
To stay outta th' courtroom, th' ambulance chaser be hankerin' a nurse fired fo' neglijunce, an' of course a tidy sum of money.
Eff'n th' nurse c'd prodooce a witness, she c'd prove she didn't take a phone call as alleged, an' warn't neglijunt. An' of course she's hyar on a wawk VISA fum Haiti, an' she'll be depo'ted eff'n she's fired, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Th' witness in quesshun is a woomin who ain't talkin' on account o' as it turns out she is a fugitive who has been on th' run in plain sight fo' 20 + years af'er takin' part as a lookout fo' an eco terro'ist o'ganizashun whar a security guard had his legs blown off.
Th' upshot is thet they now knows who th' terro'ist is, whar she lives wif her hubby an' kids havin' a nice no'mal life unner a phony name, married up wif, kids, etc. They need her statement, an' of course it's complicated by th' fack thet she be hankerin' an extryo'dinary plea agreement in exchange.
Th' mitigato' goes t'her ex, th' ADA t'git th' plea deal, ev'rythin' blows up when th' DA, in an eleckshun year, goes bonkers af'er findin' out, an' through a lot of unrealistic, idealistic (in some varmints's minds) machinashuns involvin' atto'neys aidin' an' abettin' a known fugitive (which in th' show made them 'accesso'ies af'er th' fack') they git their statement, an' th' terro'ist does 3 years an' pays a fine instead of 20 t'30 years.
Th' wo'ld is saved, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Paul as the Swedish Chef
Su, I vetched thees shoo lest neeght celled "Feurly Legel" zee plut ooff vheech seems tu be-a thet rezeer thun leetigete-a ceses, thees coote-a broonette-a etturney (vhu is zee EDE's ix) veet a heeppy deeppy feeoo ooff zee vurld "medeeetes" zeem.
Zee meeen cese-a in zee ipeesude-a I sev she-a is medeeeting a cese-a betveee un emboolunce-a cheseeng etturney und a noorseeng hume-a becoose-a a peteeent fell und bruke-a her heep und zee emboolunce-a cheseeng furm is cleeeming negleegence-a.
Tu stey oooot ooff zee cuoortruum, zee emboolunce-a cheser vunts a noorse-a fured fur negleegence-a, und ooff cuoorse-a a teedy soom ooff muney. Bork bork bork!
Iff zee noorse-a cuoold prudooce-a a veetness, she-a cuoold prufe-a she-a deedn't teke-a a phune-a cell es elleged, und vesn't negleegent. Um de hur de hur de hur. Und ooff cuoorse-a she's here-a oon a vurk FISA frum Heeeti, und she'll be-a depurted iff she's fured. Bork bork bork!
Zee veetness in qooesshun is a vumun vhu isn't telkeeng becoose-a es it toorns oooot she-a is a foogeetife-a vhu hes beee oon zee roon in pleeen seeght fur 20 + yeers effter tekeeng pert es a luukuoot fur un icu terrureest oorguneezeshun vhere-a a secooreety gooerd hed hees legs bloon ooffff.
Zee upshut is thet zeey noo knoo vhu zee terrureest is, vhere-a she-a leefes veet her hoobby und keeds hefeeng a neece-a nurmel leeffe-a under a phuny neme-a, merreeed, keeds, itc. Zeey need her stetement, und ooff cuoorse-a it's cumpleeceted by zee fect thet she-a vunts un ixtreurdeenery plea egreement in ixchunge-a.
Zee meetigetur gues tu her ix, zee EDA tu get zee plea deel, iferytheeng bloos up vhee zee DA, in un ilecshun yeer, gues bunkers effter feending oooot, und thruoogh a lut ooff unreeleestic, ideeleestic (in sume-a peuple's meends) mecheeneshuns infulfeeng etturneys eeeding und ebetteeng a knoon foogeetife-a (vheech in zee shoo mede-a zeem 'eccessureees effter zee fect') zeey get zeeur stetement, und zee terrureest dues 3 yeers und peys a feene-a insteed ooff 20 tu 30 yeers. Um gesh dee bork, bork!
Zee vurld is sefed. Bork bork bork!
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TD2K
Senior Associate
Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 1:19:25 GMT -5
Posts: 10,931
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Post by TD2K on May 23, 2012 15:15:01 GMT -5
Note to self, there's a conflict between Virgil's program and my web page ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Bluerobin
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:24:30 GMT -5
Posts: 17,345
Location: NEPA
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Post by Bluerobin on May 23, 2012 15:56:11 GMT -5
TD, it hurt my brain to try reading a book like your wrote.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on May 23, 2012 16:09:02 GMT -5
LOL, TD. Thanks for that link, TD.
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Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 18:08:13 GMT -5
Posts: 10,795
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Post by Cookies Galore on May 23, 2012 17:11:40 GMT -5
Oh my god, this redneck stuff is hilarious!
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Apple
Junior Associate
Always travel with a sense of humor
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:51:04 GMT -5
Posts: 9,938
Mini-Profile Name Color: dc0e29
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Post by Apple on May 24, 2012 2:39:23 GMT -5
Thank you, Virgil for leaving this thread gift, I would have missed everything otherwise.
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gawgagranny
Familiar Member
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 9:00:04 GMT -5
Posts: 501
Today's Mood: partly cloudy with a chance of showers
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Post by gawgagranny on May 24, 2012 2:58:52 GMT -5
Sho' nuff! Thankye, Virgil! 'Preciates it a heap!
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Deleted
Joined: Jun 28, 2024 20:56:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2012 8:21:25 GMT -5
are we still speaking hillbilly in here?
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Cheesy FL-Vol
Junior Associate
"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." -- Helen Keller
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:13:50 GMT -5
Posts: 6,900
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":""}
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on May 24, 2012 8:44:35 GMT -5
I think we are, and this is one of the best pranks so far!
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Cheesy FL-Vol
Junior Associate
"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." -- Helen Keller
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:13:50 GMT -5
Posts: 6,900
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":""}
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Post by Cheesy FL-Vol on May 24, 2012 8:46:28 GMT -5
Next thing you know, Virgil will set it up so everything is in French or something! ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Deleted
Joined: Jun 28, 2024 20:56:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2012 8:53:49 GMT -5
Bonjour, y'all! ;D
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Deleted
Joined: Jun 28, 2024 20:56:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2012 8:55:57 GMT -5
Excuse me, sir? My fillet mignon is dry and you have not refilled my Chardonnay....
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gawgagranny
Familiar Member
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 9:00:04 GMT -5
Posts: 501
Today's Mood: partly cloudy with a chance of showers
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Post by gawgagranny on May 24, 2012 9:42:55 GMT -5
Sorry MJ, didn't mean to play with your brain...that is my own version of "redneck", since I am a native Southerner AND redneck--and proud of it! I can actually conduct a reasonably intelligent conversation when forced to, but I can also speak fluent redneckese! Heck, I understood practically all of Virgil's translations except for a few terms that I suspect were Yankee Redneck as opposed to Southern Redneck (different dialect, same basic language) ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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Deleted
Joined: Jun 28, 2024 20:56:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2012 9:50:36 GMT -5
there's different redneck speech? ![???](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/huh.png)
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TD2K
Senior Associate
Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 1:19:25 GMT -5
Posts: 10,931
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Post by TD2K on May 24, 2012 9:51:46 GMT -5
are we still speaking hillbilly in here? It's hard to tell with you ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Deleted
Joined: Jun 28, 2024 20:56:09 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on May 24, 2012 10:03:49 GMT -5
are we still speaking hillbilly in here? It's hard to tell with you ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png) you want me to beat you, right?
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Virgil Showlion
Distinguished Associate
Moderator
[b]leones potest resistere[/b]
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:19:33 GMT -5
Posts: 27,448
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Post by Virgil Showlion on May 24, 2012 10:04:03 GMT -5
I had originally thought about an "unnecessary censor" prank, which blanks out characters in ordinary words. For example, Blue's post: "I'm going back to pick up the Beckster before the show." becomes "I'm going back to __ck up the Beckster before the sh__." Maybe good for a cheap laugh, but un-Christian. The "redneck talk" prank was a much better idea. ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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TD2K
Senior Associate
Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 1:19:25 GMT -5
Posts: 10,931
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Post by TD2K on May 24, 2012 10:06:37 GMT -5
This has been the longest 30 minutes of my life.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:12:51 GMT -5
Posts: 43,130
Location: Inside POM's Head
Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on May 24, 2012 10:31:46 GMT -5
The msgs have all gone back to normal now, but it was hilarious reading the EE threads yesterday - at least for most of us. ;D
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
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Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 24, 2012 10:43:17 GMT -5
LMAO! It sounds like Blue even with the missing letters!
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