Is affluence oppressive? / BOOK THREAD (see OP)

[thyme4change]

Lionel Shriver is a woman.

[Firebird]

Really? Um... k.

Parents had an odd sense of humor.

[thyme4change]

She changed her name because she didn't feel "Margaret" suited her.

[thyme4change]

**According to Wikipedia - FWIW.

[Firebird]

Interesting. Possibly an advantage in the literary world.

That does explain how she could write from a woman's perspective so convincingly - I'm always impressed when men can do that.

But nope, she is one so no brownie points there

[thyme4change]

I kept looking at the author picture (which was terrible!) and wondering why her parents named her Lionel. I'm glad you brought it up, so I could double check.

[Firebird]

Oh - I was reading this on my Kindle. No author pics on the book jacket is one of the few disadvantages.

Anyone read any more of her books? If they're all this good, I might have to plug in the ole morphine drip and have at it.

[Cookies Galore]

May 15, 2012 15:37:33 GMT -5 Firebird said:

PS - Tilda Swinton plays Eva? HELL YES. I adore her. Now I think I do need to see this movie.

ETA: Watched the trailer. Fuck it, I'm watching this.

*shiver*

Yeah, and it's okay to say this since the actor is over 18, but we need to talk about how doable "Kevin" will be with a few more years under his belt.

I have no shame.

[Firebird]

Meghan - I had the exact same thought, so count me in the Dirty Old Lady club

[Firebird]

Don't we need to talk about Kevin some more? I'm bored and I need someone to play with

[Formerly SK]

See, and I'm in the middle of about a bazillion projects and feel guilty every time I lose myself online. MUST BACK AWAY...... ;D

[Firebird]

I'm in ur interwebz, bein ur bad influencez

[Deleted]

Hi FB

I start with The Movie Spoiler thread (movies not books though) and then go to IMDB and read the comments.

It is harder to find good spoilers about books. Sometimes Wikipedia works, sometimes you can find them by googling them. Sometimes IMDB is good because one of the first questions asked is "is the film like the book?"

I LOVED the Time Traveler's Wife, but the end bugged me. Have you read her other novel? I liked it less but it bugged me more LOL. I found it on a guy who has a book club blog and I REALLY enjoyed that discussion, but he does mainly sci-fi which is generally not my thing.

Like Thyme (I think) I never see films of books I love, I know I'll be disappointed. Rare exceptions made for the Hitchcock films on the Daphne Du Maurier novels.

FB, sorry, I have a boatload of finals to mark. I wanted to answer your question about the spoilers but I'm going to try to be a good girl and minimize my time on the boards till I finish my marking.

[Firebird]

I LOVED the Time Traveler's Wife, but the end bugged me. Have you read her other novel? I liked it less but it bugged me more LOL. I found it on a guy who has a blog who does a book club and I really enjoyed that discussion, but he does mainly sci-fi which is not generally my thing.

I was so excited when I found out that she'd written another book I almost peed my pants. Then I read it and it was like 500% less engaging than TTW I guess that book was a one-shot deal, which is okay because it's still my all-time favorite love story.

I keep hoping she'll write a sequel about Alba's life as a time traveler and call it The Time Traveler's Daughter.

[Firebird]

FB, sorry, I have a boatload of finals to mark. I wanted to answer your question about the spoilers but I'm going to try to be a good girl and minimize my time on the boards till I finish my marking.

Just give them all A's! Problem solved

[Deleted]

What a wonderful idea FB!!!

[Deleted]

LOL! Not the As, the Alba idea!

I wish they all deserved As LOL. It wouldn't work anyway, we give number grades here, not letter grades.

[Firebird]

I'm helpful, huh?

ETA: Oh, I thought you did mean giving them all A's, haha.

Yeah, I liked Alba. She was pretty awesome and I would love to read about the time traveling dilemmas that Henry faced from a girl's perspective. I imagine it'd be easier in some ways and much, much harder in others.

I've been tempted to write the book myself but it would probably be a copyright violation.

[Deleted]

Yes we definitely crossed there FB LOL!

[Firebird]

So I started watching the movie. Not sure I'm going to finish. It's pretty creepy and suspenseful, which I dislike (I'm easily startled), but I could deal with that (since I know what's coming for the most part), but I don't like the choppy nature of it. I'm about a half hour into it and I have yet to see a full scene. It's just bits and pieces - a few moments in present day life, a few moments of memory, then back again.

I understand what they're trying to do - show how her present-day life is impacted every single minute by poisoned memories of what has gone before - but it makes it hella confusing and hard to follow, and also kind of irritating. I don't know if it gets any better.

So I may keep watching but I may not. It's on youtube if anyone wants to watch it (yeah, for some reason it is NOT available on Netflix even though I would have actually paid to rent it, but you can watch it for free )

[Deleted]

May 15, 2012 13:00:34 GMT -5 Firebird said:

I really hate the thought of these types of kids getting together with other kids like this.
Peer pressure is tough enough when you are normal.

Presumably these kids don't give a rat's ass about peer pressure (since for that to work, you need to care about what other kids think of you and feel hurt when you're excluded) but it did strike me as a SUPERBLY bad idea to get them all together in a concentrated environment to study them.

Well I guess I would not think they would care what the other kids thought of them either , but the NYT article made it sound like they kinda did care.

I have not read this book either. I still might though.

[milee]

OK, I'm very late to the party on this one, but as I was reading the book (and to some extent the NY Times article), I kept getting goose bumps about how similar Kevin is to my best friend's son.

Although her son (I'll call him X) is the same age as my son, I don't let them play together. X is in 6th grade and is on his 4th school, was also kicked out of play groups and just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Extremely manipulative - down to baby talking to his mom, which she falls for completely - and goes from nasty cold comments to hour long screaming, crying tantrums. Been diagnosed ADHD, depressed, Bi-Polar, etc. at one time or another but none of the treatments or medications has made a difference.

He does have a dog and as far as I know, he hasn't hurt it, but you can't leave him alone with small children. He literally stalks them. Watches the adults out of the corner of his eye or maneuvers the little guy into an area where the adults can't see and then does mean things. I once caught him just reach out and trip, then shove a 4 year old that was just walking past him. No reason for it since the 4 year old wasn't interacting with X at all. Not only didn't he feel bad about it, he only got upset when he got in trouble. Any sadness X felt was for the fact that he was receiving a punishment, not that the 4 year old was hurt. I don't know that I have any reason to believe that he'd kill a smaller child, but it would not surprise me one bit to see him cut or choke one. Luckily, she only has the one child, so there is no other child living in the house and everybody that interacts with them quickly figures the situation out and keeps their kids away.

I'm sad for him sometimes, but honestly I'm mostly sad for her. Even with all the denial it's really awful to have a kid like that. I'm very worried about their future. She and her husband are getting a divorce, the husband travels internationally 90% of the time and the 12 year old is already bigger than she is. She doesn't see this at all, but if I were her, I'd be afraid of him. As awful as it sounds, I would lock my door at night and I'd find the dog a new home.

[Firebird]

Although her son (I'll call him X) is the same age as my son, I don't let them play together. X is in 6th grade and is on his 4th school, was also kicked out of play groups and just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Extremely manipulative - down to baby talking to his mom, which she falls for completely - and goes from nasty cold comments to hour long screaming, crying tantrums. Been diagnosed ADHD, depressed, Bi-Polar, etc. at one time or another but none of the treatments or medications has made a difference.

Damn, milee How awful.

The line in the article that keeps ringing in my head is the one where the mom said something like, "There's no support group for this kind of thing." I feel like one of the great things about living in the "internet age" or whatever you want to call it is that you can pretty easily find other people who are dealing with your same struggles, whatever they might be. If your kid is autistic, or deaf, or bipolar, or almost anything else, you can usually find MULTIPLE supportive places online (and sometimes in real life) to talk freely about your struggles with people who "get it."

But this? The scariest thing to contemplate is how isolated it would make you as a parent. Sure, you don't want to be in denial but what's the alternative? Dragging your kid to doctor after doctor saying you suspect him/her of being a sociopath? Get him/her institutionalized?? I can't begin to imagine.

[KaraBoo]

I suspect my ex-husband is a sociopath. I didn't realize it for a long time, but someone suggested reading "The Sociopath Next Door" and I was just intrigued enough to read it. I was SHOCKED at how much of his unexplainable actions suddenly made sense to me.

I think there is also a spectrum to being a sociopath - some just lie and manipluate at one end and at the other are the serial killers.

I do not believe my ex-husband is capable of killing, but that doesn't mean I didn't inform everyone I knew that I felt like my life was threatened when our son received a letter from him stating "I'd hate for anything to happen to your mother, but rest assured if it does, you'll come live with me." I realize the statement is innocent sounding, but even DH stated when he read the letter that it sounded like he was thinking about knocking me off.

Because I suspect my Ex is a sociopath and they think it is hereditary, I have watched my own son very closely for any signs I need to worry about. Before realizing this about my Ex and my son, I did make a comment to my son's teachers that I wouldn't be surprised if he turns out to be the next Einstein or the next Dalhmer (they were not amused and couldn't believe I said that about my own son!). I have told my son point blank that if he ever does anything illegal or serious enough for the police to be involved, I will turn him in myself.

At this point, I do not believe my son is capable of doing anyone bodily harm - but I'm not taking any chances either. He's not allowed to play violent video games or watch violent movies. I monitor his internet usage at home. I'm pretty good about figuring out when he's lying to me and I don't allow him to get away with it - I force him to recognize that it is in his control and not to blame others for his actions. At this point it seems like my son understands, but he's never really shown much emotion, so sometimes it's hard to tell.

I am lucky that neither my son nor my ex is on the extreme end like the one in the story. I am still vigilent though.

[milee]

"I did make a comment to my son's teachers that I wouldn't be surprised if he turns out to be the next Einstein or the next Dalhmer"

My friend has always said that her son is bound for a career in the legal system - she just doesn't know if it's as a top attorney or a criminal. I don't know if this is common with these kids, but unfortunately, hers is very, very smart. Which makes it even more difficult to keep an eye on him.

And as the mother in the article said, it's pretty obvious to most of us around her that he's not getting any better, just getting better at manipulating her and concealing his actions. That's the very scary part. It would be much less of an issue if the kid weren't as smart as he is.

No idea what the background story is, but she also told me in confidence that she's always been worried about mental illness in her family because her grandfather killed her grandmother when her mother was a small child.

Yeesh, it's sounding worse and worse all the time.

[thyme4change]

the 12 year old is already bigger than she is. She doesn't see this at all, but if I were her, I'd be afraid of him. As awful as it sounds, I would lock my door at night and I'd find the dog a new home.

Recently a friend of my husband's moved out of her house. We thought it was a (sad) divorce, but then found out the situation was much different. She and her daughter (from a previous relationship) were living with the husband's mother because his son (from a previous relationship) had turned violent. His daughter (from same previous relationship) stayed in the house, but only because she had to be at school so early, they couldn't get everyone everywhere they needed to be. So, the husband and the daughter slept in the master bedroom, with a deadbolt on the door, the son slept in his bedroom and the mom and the other daughter slept at another home. They have since found an in-patient facility that will take him and they specialize in whatever problems he is having. I've met the kid, and he didn't strike me as broken. I thought he was a nice kid (although I didn't talk to him that much.) Scary stuff!