Cómpláíning on Facebook

[thyme4change]

One just annoyed me one too many times with the sheer volume of back to back posts, all "funny or inspirational photos". I really did not want to scroll through your 40 posts to find ones I actually might WANT to see, so, I just deleted her.

Do you and I have the same high school friend??!!

I posted this picture, just to see if she was paying attention.

weknowmemes.com/2012/04/your-inspirational-quotes-have-inspired-me-to-unfriend-you/

The next day, she posted 20 more inspirational posters/quotes. Blech.

[Deleted]

I've unfriended a ton of people on FB. Frankly I hate it when people ask to friend me, to me it's just a handy way to keep up with CLOSE friends and family in the US, and my two young adult sons when they're travelling. But if I haven't seen you or "spoken" to you by phone or email in 30 years, well, frankly, I don't need to, and neither do you.

It reminds me of that fabulous old New Yorker cartoon about "doing lunch": "How would never suit you?" (paraphrase)

I had a bunch of people from HS and college ask to friend me when I finally got on FB, much later than most people. I actually checked with a friend to see if I actually knew them or not (he is head of the alumni association for both my HS and college, and has a much better memory than I do LOL). If people ask, I friend them. But too often I hate seeing their posts. Some are EXTREMELY political. That's fine, but I'm not, and I don't necessarily want to see their rants. A few others are CONSTANTLY posting asking people to adopt animals. Again, that's FINE. But given that I am highly allergic to cats and don't want a dog, and that all these albeit adorable adoptable animals are on another continent, I don't need to see their feeds either.

So after a while, I inevitably end up unfriending many of the people who ask me. I want my FB as I want it: my kids (once they get old enough to want to friend me LOL), VERY close friends in the US, and family.

What really shocks me is that some people notice I've unfriended them. They say, I know you unfriended me by accident, so can you please friend me again? I REALLY don't get that.

I LOVE getting news of / seeing pix of my nieces and nephews and their kids, and since they are much younger, FB is a great way to do that. But in other ways, FB is a royal PITA.

[Firebird]

I wonder what people say about all of us on FB behind our backs

[thyme4change]

Unfortunately, sometimes they notice, and ask me to friend them again. Honestly, I really don't get that.

I have a theory on this. If you get one of those people who have 500 friends (swamp, I'm looking in your general direction!!!), they forget who they were friends with. So, you unfriend them, and then they see you pop up on the "People you may know" feed and they say "Hey, I remember debthaven. She was good people. I will friend her to see what's up." And they never even realize they have already loved and lost.

The other day, a person showed up on the "You may know..." feed and I could have sworn that we were already friends. So, I'm assuming that I offended her in some way, shape or form. And I'll leave it alone. I remember her being super-nice in high school, but I suspect we wouldn't be friends if we met today. It is what it is. And, if she wants to keep her facebook circle small, that's okay with me. But, I still see her pop up and think "I would like to be friends with her." Every single time.

[Miss Tequila]

May 14, 2012 18:26:18 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Unfortunately, sometimes they notice, and ask me to friend them again. Honestly, I really don't get that.

. So, I'm assuming that I offended her in some way, shape or form. .

Shocking....

HOnestly, I have no idea if someone unfriends me or blocks me...I don't keep a watch on the number of friends I have. I post some stuff that is sure to offend someone without a sense of humor so there is a really good chance that I was ninja unfriended...I survived

[Deleted]

ninja unfriended?

there are ninjas on FB?

I knew I never shoulda' opened that account....

oh, but then I wouldn't be able to watch beer's videos

now that's a dilemma.....(not whatever racthets and dark came up with)

[Deleted]

Thyme I think that's a great theory, thanks! It makes a lot of sense!

ETA: Facebook DOES serve some purpose. Last month I got a reminder that I had a friend with a birthday! I got a huge kick out of that, because I had remembered my friend's birthday, especially since I am married to him LOL.

[thyme4change]

I post some stuff that is sure to offend someone without a sense of humor so there is a really good chance that I was ninja unfriended.

LOL - ninja unfriended.

You might all be surprised, but I'm actually on pretty good behavior on facebook. My sister and my father are on facebook, and they are super-faithful, and I have yet to find something that I want to say that is worth alienating them. I also know I have other friends who are church-go-ers. Some of them seem the two-faced type that will drink and tell dirty jokes with you on Saturday, and then go to church on Sunday. But others, I'm not so sure. So, I keep it clean. I find it a challenge to be myself, be funny and be vanilla. I think the restrictions breed a new level of creativity.

[Deleted]

But, I still see her pop up and think "I would like to be friends with her." Every single time.

If I felt that way about somebody, I would think there is a reason for it, and I would go for it. :-)

[swamp]

May 14, 2012 18:19:55 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

I've unfriended a ton of people on FB. Frankly I hate it when people ask to friend me, to me it's just a handy way to keep up with CLOSE friends and family in the US, and my two young adult sons when they're travelling. But if I haven't seen you or "spoken" to you by phone or email in 30 years, well, frankly, I don't need to, and neither do you.

It reminds me of that fabulous old New Yorker cartoon about "doing lunch": "How would never suit you?" (paraphrase)

I had a bunch of people from HS and college ask to friend me when I finally got on FB, much later than most people. I actually checked with a friend to see if I actually knew them or not (he is head of the alumni association for both my HS and college, and has a much better memory than I do LOL). If people ask, I friend them. But too often I hate seeing their posts. Some are EXTREMELY political. That's fine, but I'm not, and I don't necessarily want to see their rants. A few others are CONSTANTLY posting asking people to adopt animals. Again, that's FINE. But given that I am highly allergic to cats and don't want a dog, and that all these albeit adorable adoptable animals are on another continent, I don't need to see their feeds either.

So after a while, I inevitably end up unfriending many of the people who ask me. I want my FB as I want it: my kids (once they get old enough to want to friend me LOL), VERY close friends in the US, and family.

What really shocks me is that some people notice I've unfriended them. They say, I know you unfriended me by accident, so can you please friend me again? I REALLY don't get that.

I LOVE getting news of / seeing pix of my nieces and nephews and their kids, and since they are much younger, FB is a great way to do that. But in other ways, FB is a royal PITA.

When I first joined FB, I thought I would restrict my friend list. However, some people I went to HS with sent me friend requests and I thought it would be rude to turn them down. One was a good friend in HS, but do to some family abuse issues, he left the area and never looked back. Another was a guy who lives locally, I barely spoke to in HS and whose wife used to work with DH. I'm glad I accepted their requests. They've become very good friends and they crack me up.

[findingdeadbeats]

My husband's family uses Facebook to stalk us and read about what we are doing. I stopped posting totally, and both of my kids have nearly stopped. It's kinda weird to have someone you haven't talked to in over a year leave a voice-mail message about whatever you are currently doing in your life - because they have been looking around on Facebook for any information they can find. Creepy.

[swamp]

May 14, 2012 18:52:41 GMT -5 @findingdeadbeats said:

My husband's family uses Facebook to stalk us and read about what we are doing. I stopped posting totally, and both of my kids have nearly stopped. It's kinda weird to have someone you haven't talked to in over a year leave a voice-mail message about whatever you are currently doing in your life - because they have been looking around on Facebook for any information they can find. Creepy.

Why don't you block them?

[Deleted]

Swamp IME there is often interaction when you "find" somebody you haven't "seen" in a long time on FB. And I agree that it can be a great thing. I hooked up with two friends from MS/HS I am still in close touch with.

But more often there is NO personal interaction whatsoever, you're just another person getting their feed. Those are the people I unfriend, not the people I have a personal interaction with, that I am glad to have "found" again.

I've probably unfriended 30-40 people and been happy about "finding" two.

[thyme4change]

I'm glad I accepted their requests. They've become very good friends and they crack me up.

I feel the same way about some random people. There are a couple of moms who are active posters, and it has helped me get another connection to the kids' school. I've appreciated knowing one more person that I can call and ask questions, or hear the gossip from - but maybe a different angle. And another family to hang out with at school events. And another form of communication. All in all, it has been a good tool for me.

[Deleted]

Shasta, I agree with Swamp, you need to block / unfriend them.

[thyme4change]

I also love, love, love LinkedIn. I haven't put very many ex-co-workers on my Facebook account, and I have no current co-workers on Facebook. But I find as many people as I can via LinkedIn. Just in the past month, I've been able to reach out to three people that I use to work with that are now at companies that have a job posted that I'm interested in. One of those resulted in more information that turned me away from the position, and another one lead to an interview (don't tell Loony!) Talk about a great tool! I can't imagine job hunting without it!

[Deleted]

Thyme, ACK! Don't even get me started on LinkedIn LOL! I'm on there but not at all active.

Today my older niece asked me to link with her. I spent TWO HOURS tonight trying to retrieve my password! They kept sending me a new link, I kept putting in my new password, and they kept telling me it was wrong! SO frustrating!

And my niece probably thinks I'm refusing her. Which means now I'll have to go on FB to tell her that's not the case. LOL.

[thyme4change]

and they kept telling me it was wrong!

Were you in the wrong format? Like it must be 8 characters and contain one number and at least one upper and one lower case?

But yeah, that sucks. I keep thinking that if I ever lose my cookies, I'll never be able to go to linkedin again.

[skubikky]

May 14, 2012 16:57:17 GMT -5 Firebird said:

It's just funny to me. If you're happy with your choices in life then why do you feel the need to constantly defend them to a group of strangers you probably don't even like? I've never gotten that.

I don't know, maybe because most people require some validation? They need to know that in some ways their choices are the right ones and are superior in some way? Whatever it takes to get you through the day?

Most of the posts(YM and many others) are just that. Often it's just the old game of "Can you top this?"

When observing people who truly have good self-esteem and are humble by nature, they usually don't brag/justify/defend their choices and circumstances and are typically more interested in what you have to say than what they themselves have to add. JMHO

[skubikky]

May 14, 2012 18:14:26 GMT -5 Works4me said:

Nah, I like knowing what people are saying about me behind my back and if their posts annoy me I just don't look at them.

For real? If they're posting on FB and you're their friend, it's probably meant for you to see? Eh?

[findingdeadbeats]

I did block all of the in-laws from my postings. But, if you post, and someone else comments, then they can see them on their page. Your Facebook pages also aren't as "private" as people like to think. You pretty much can see most of what is there in one way or another...

[Deleted]

Next thing you need to do is change your privacy settings to "friends only" or "no one".

The biggest aggravation that I have with Facebook is that you have to "opt out" of everything. It is quite a PITA getting everything locked down, but it can be done.

[Miss Tequila]

"did block all of the in-laws from my postings. But, if you post, and someone else comments, then they can see them on their page. Your Facebook pages also aren't as "private" as people like to think. You pretty much can see most of what is there in one way or another... "

I have a few people blocked on my fake account and I cannot see anythign they post...all I will see is that there is a comment to a common friends' original post, but I cannot see what the blocked person posts.

[Sam_2.0]

My grandpa got a facebook account. And I am two seconds away from blocking him. He posts political sermons ALL THE TIME (about the little "colored" boy he saw at the grocery store - OMG!!). And he tags me in them! I don't need that showing up on my wall for anyone to see!!!!!!!!! Any my uncle takes pictures of my daughter and photo shops them in creepy ways. And then steals the pics & re-posts them, tagging random people in them.

I am just trying to figure out who I need to cut out to get rid of them - pretty much everyone from my dad's side of the family. Because if I get rid of uncle, I have to get rid of his husband. And their daughter, and their son (because they will log into the kids' accounts to see if they are still friends with me). I could put them all in a special circle, but I would rather just have them think I got sick of FB and quit.

[zibazinski]

I un friended a guy who posted all kinds of political crap on my fb. Like I care about your idea of politics to begin with and sure don't want any of my friends thinking I think like you do!

[michelyn8]

May 15, 2012 9:07:26 GMT -5 @findingdeadbeats said:

I did block all of the in-laws from my postings. But, if you post, and someone else comments, then they can see them on their page. Your Facebook pages also aren't as "private" as people like to think. You pretty much can see most of what is there in one way or another...

There was an option to completely block people from even finding your profile in a search. I had to do that with a former co-worker. He had done/said some things IRL that made me uncomforable and knew I was on FB. I made a point of finding him on FB and blocking him completely. I've also had to do that with a guy who saw a post of mine on a friend's feed and started PMing me about hooking up. In my younger years I might have enjoyed a slight ego bump but now I just find it creepy.

[TheOtherMe]

I have blocked something like 10 people completely on FB--I was never friends with most of them.

I have some people hidden who are family members and I can't deal with their Jesus quotes. They were quite welcome to hide me if they so desire.

I use Social Fixer so I do know if somebody unfriends me. I see some of my friends who get very upset when somebody unfriends them. I find it rather funny. It's the internet, people.

I friended my niece's SIL because she posts pictures of the kids when they are together. That woman has to be entertained constantly. I also feel so bad for her oldest daughter. She was the most wonderful child on the earth until got glasses. Now she is rarely mentioned and there are very few pictures of her. She is 7 years old.

Now all of her attention is focused on her "beautiful" 4 year old daughter. She has had professional pictures taken of her and is trying to getting in to modeling. My niece tells me nobody has asked the 4 year old if she wants to be a model.