Silently Freaking Out

[findingdeadbeats]

I have been having a ton of pain in part of my ribs, shoulder, spine and kinda under the boob area. It started under my boob area through to my back and has progressively gotten more and more painful. Tired of the whole "pulled muscle" idea, and living on the heating pad/ice packs all day, I asked the doctor what else might really be the problem.

Doctor ordered a mamo due to the high instance of breast cancer in my family's gene pool.

Had it done the other day.

Got the result today and I am now scheduled for an ultrasound to look at a 3cm x 4cm mass in the area the pain started around.

I am trying very hard to not freak out that what I keep thinking is cancer that spread into my ribs, side and shoulder really isn't...

What is really bothering me is that I started noticing a lack of range of motion in my shoulder a couple weeks ago, and last week my hand started going numb.

While I love the internet and Google, I think I have read too much about cancer of the lung and breast matasticising to other places to feel anywhere near comfortable until I really know what's in there and why I hurt.

I guess the good news is that once I find out what's up, then I can have some sort of treatment for the pain I am in. What a drag. I mean seriously, what a drag.

[Deleted]

[Miss Tequila]

Oh Shasta, stay off the internet! Everything out there points to a tumor or cancer!

Hopefully it nothing but you will be in my thoughts and prayers...please let us know how your appointment goes

[MarleyKeezy78]

Hope it's nothing serious, please try to keep calm till you know or sure. I will keep in my prayers.

[Formerly SK]

May 7, 2012 17:20:01 GMT -5 MarleyKeezy78 said:

Hope it's nothing serious, please try to keep calm till you know or sure. I will keep in my prayers.

^^^This. Try not to worry.

[Malarky]

Hope it's nothing serious.

And keep in mind, any type of pressure on a nerve can send pain in all directions. It may be pressing in one spot and you're feeling it all over.

[thyme4change]

Shasta - I am so very sorry to hear about your pain and that they found a mass. I hope it is easily resolved. Best of luck to you.

[Peace Of Mind]

May 7, 2012 17:20:01 GMT -5 MarleyKeezy78 said:

Hope it's nothing serious, please try to keep calm till you know or sure. I will keep in my prayers.

Although I am glad to hear that you are being proactive and not ignoring it I hope you find out it's nothing serious at all. Stay strong and please let us know what you find out!

[findingdeadbeats]

Thanks. I am trying not to freak out.

I reminded myself that I already knew something was growing there because I can feel it and see it sticking out - so of course they can see it. Doesn't really help too much, but what am I gonna do.

I won't have the US until Thursday and then all I can do is go from there. The good news is that they said that they will look at all of the areas where I feel pain, so maybe they will see something pressing on something else that can be removed, shrunk, or something.

My mother asked me the other day why I thought I was still sore and if I agree with the pulled muscle theory and I told her that I have cancer and it spread into my sore hip bone, shoulder socket, spine and lymph nodes on my side. At the time I was kidding and mentioned that the day I want to know I have the family cancer is the day before it kills me off. Maybe one shouldn't joke about such things. Oops.

I hold on to the fact that I had a hysterectomy a few years ago and at the time they told me that I had about a 99% chance I had uterine cancer or something that was going to turn into it. It ended up that I didn't have cancer and whatever was suspicious was removed. So, I have been here to this "OMG I am going to die" place once before. It sucks but I was okay last time.

Nothing sucks more than waiting. Nothing. I was 30 weeks prego when I found out about DS's dwarfism and for three weeks I had to wait for another US while being told he was either a dwarf or had Down's Syndrome and that either way no one could predict if he would be okay at birth. Those were some very, very long weeks.

(Sometimes I think I should write a book about my life. Maybe now is the time to start on that project. Seems I have at least a couple things to write about. )

[Deleted]

I agree that waiting to find out exactly what's wrong can be hell. Your imagination tends to run wild.

I've spent most of today being angry at a new orthopedist I saw last week, his assistant, the place I'm suppose to go to for physical therapy, and my insurance company.

But even though I'm incredibly frustrated and I know that if we don't get this taken care of properly I risk serious disability, it's not potentially life threatening. So thank you for the nudge for me to chill out.

Try not to worry, and stay off the medical websites while you're waiting. Hopefully the mass will be something that's not a big deal and whatever is causing your pain will be something that's easy to treat. Sending good vibes your way.

[The Captain]

I'm not a doctor, nor do I plan one on TV....

However my sister was diagnosed with stage II cancer in early December and just finished her chemo treatment (she has to wait a month to recover before starting radiation treatment) last week. During that time she found another lump and called me in an absolute panic...a few points to consider about her situation...

Her lump was painful...cancer is not usually painful until the later stages.
It is very rare for cancer to metastasize (sp?) that quickly.

The above is what I found and what her doctor confirmed. It turned out to be an infected lymph node (her immune system is currently compromised) and a round of antibiotics took care of it. During the three days it took to get final results she had herself worried sick with achieved nothing but wearing her down even more.

Regardless of what the prognosis is, it is much better for your mental and physical health to presume the best. Of course you think about the worst but the focus is on positive energy...

We can laugh about it now but I wish I could erase those three days for her...

[Waffle]

Shasta,

Sorry you're going through this, but glad you got yourself to the doctor. And I second stay away from internet health searches!

[Happy prose]

Sorry for your worries. Keep us updated. I'm sure we're all praying for you.

[Green Eyed Lady]

So sorry this is going on, Shasta. I know about waiting on results from a mammo and US. It's hell. Try to think positively. It could be a cyst or any number of things. Even the worst case scenerio is no longer a death sentence.

You are in my prayers.

[suesinfl]

Shasta, I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this on top of every thing else that you have been going through the last few years. I was going to post "my day from hell at work" on the An Anonymous Note thread, but you made me realize that my day could have been much, much worse.

As my friend says, Prayers Ascending.....wishing you the best.

[Deleted]

May 7, 2012 18:37:43 GMT -5 @daphne87 said:

So sorry you're going through this Shasta.

FWIW, I have also been told that cancer rarely hurts (at least early on) and that it grows rather slowly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for something painless and easy to cure!

I was thinking this too. I think draining a cyst would be the fastest route to pain-free, so that is my hope for you. And if not that, I'll keep a good thought for a rapid diagnosis (the waiting is brutal) and efficient treatment.

[whoami]

I hope you are ok.

I am the queen of mammograms. I have had over 20 (most before I was 40) and the only normal one was the one I had when I turned 40. I just finished up 2 yrs of diagnostic mammograms and ultrasounds every 6 mths last month. I am back on the yearly program but I know it wont last so Ill enjoy it till my next one and we revert to the 6 month program. Ive had surgery 3 times all benign but it really does suck. Ive managed to keep my anxiety in check now until the morning of these days. I know Im going to get called back in, so its not a big suprise when it happens. The first time I had to go back for more pictures, I felt like throwing up waiting those several days....now I pretty much expect it.

The one good thing, is that when you have a diagnostic mammo and US where I go, the radiologist reads it right away and tells you the results before you leave.

Good thought for you.

[dancinmama]

May 7, 2012 20:57:25 GMT -5 whoami said:

I hope you are ok.

I am the queen of mammograms. I have had over 20 (most before I was 40) and the only normal one was the one I had when I turned 40. I just finished up 2 yrs of diagnostic mammograms and ultrasounds every 6 mths last month. I am back on the yearly program but I know it wont last so Ill enjoy it till my next one and we revert to the 6 month program. Ive had surgery 3 times all benign but it really does suck. Ive managed to keep my anxiety in check now until the morning of these days. I know Im going to get called back in, so its not a big suprise when it happens. The first time I had to go back for more pictures, I felt like throwing up waiting those several days....now I pretty much expect it.

The one good thing, is that when you have a diagnostic mammo and US where I go, the radiologist reads it right away and tells you the results before you leave.

Good thought for you.

I've only had two "normal" mammograms in my whole life. I ALWAYS have to go for a follow-up ultra sound.

That said, shasta, I know how I felt the very first time. I tried not to think about it, but it kept creeping into my brain. For me, it turned out to be a cyst. They took a needle biopsy and aspirated the sucker. I am praying that yours is no more serious than that.

[cronewitch]

Relax if you can, I don't think it is cancer because it wouldn't suddenly hurt.

I have had a pain in the rib area when I was 18 and it went away in a few days, no idea what it was.

[wvugurl26]

Waiting does really suck. Dr. Google is not your friend though. I know sitting and waiting is hard and must be even worse since you are in pain.

My gynecologist's office sent me for an ultrasound and mammogram if needed in December. I just had the ultrasound. The radiologist does read it right away. My tech consulted with radiolgist during ultrasound after she found the lump that got me referred for screening.

Most of my cysts are small but I'm in the ultrasound and follow up with surgeon every six months cycle now. Surgeon is going to biopsy them if they get bigger or she is concerned they are not benign. It didn't help that when I called the radiology place to schedule the lady said you are how old?

[Malarky]

May 7, 2012 17:34:19 GMT -5 @findingdeadbeats said:

(Sometimes I think I should write a book about my life. Maybe now is the time to start on that project. Seems I have at least a couple things to write about. )

I barely remember the book, but when you said this I was reminded of The Beans of Egypt, Maine. It must be 25-30 years since I read it, but I remember it as a book about a woman who had a life of hardship and yet remained positive and thrived.

I'll definitely buy your book when you publish it and and be proud that I knew you when.

[moxie]

"Tired of the whole "pulled muscle" idea, and living on the heating pad/ice packs all day,"

I had something similar to this happen about five years ago...two incidences one week apart TO THE DAY where I had the most excruciating pain in my breast, underarm area from the time I woke up. I used a heating pad and Tylenol to no avail. I couldn't get comfortable no matter what I did and while I tolerate pain well, I cried like a baby because it hurt so bad. I went in the next day and was told it was the pulled muscle thing (hard to believe...the pain was what I would consider very sharp...stabbing). I actually thought it was a heart attack. I experienced it just those two times in the one week period and it hasn't happened ever again. I have yearly mammograms, so I guess the Dr. was right. There is a name for what it is...a long one...can't recall it.
*Keep in mind that most breast abnormalities turn out to be benign/cysts. My best to you nonetheless.

[taz157]

May 7, 2012 17:20:01 GMT -5 MarleyKeezy78 said:

Hope it's nothing serious, please try to keep calm till you know or sure. I will keep in my prayers.

[busymom]

I will definitely add you to my prayer list. Please keep us posted, 'cause we care!

[whoami]

May 7, 2012 21:47:13 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

It didn't help that when I called the radiology place to schedule the lady said you are how old?

I was the youngest patient in the surgeons office by 25 years last time I was there. Had my first surgery at 28 and my next two when I was 35. I am hoping that I never have to do it again but I also wouldnt be shocked if I did. I think it worries me more as I get older because you "expect" breast cancer the older you get but not so much when you are young. Im getting to the age that I could see it being cancer where I never would have imagined it at 28.

[resolution]

I hope your appointment goes well and brings you positive news. I had some painful cysts about 7 years ago, when I was 35. It wasn't as painful as you are describing but I ended up on the 6 month mammogram/ultrasound schedule. In the end it was harmless and caused by me drinking too much caffeine. At the time I went through the whole gamut of thinking I was going to die, no one would ever love me, etc. I agree with those who are saying to stay away from google and webmd until you hear back from your appointment. There is no sense in worrying yourself since you are getting the medical attention that you need.

[whoami]

May 7, 2012 21:49:58 GMT -5 @moxie said:

"Tired of the whole "pulled muscle" idea, and living on the heating pad/ice packs all day,"

I had something similar to this happen about five years ago...two incidences one week apart TO THE DAY where I had the most excruciating pain in my breast, underarm area from the time I woke up. I used a heating pad and Tylenol to no avail. I couldn't get comfortable no matter what I did and while I tolerate pain well, I cried like a baby because it hurt so bad. I went in the next day and was told it was the pulled muscle thing (hard to believe...the pain was what I would consider very sharp...stabbing). I actually thought it was a heart attack. I experienced it just those two times in the one week period and it hasn't happened ever again. I have yearly mammograms, so I guess the Dr. was right. There is a name for what it is...a long one...can't recall it.
*Keep in mind that most breast abnormalities turn out to be benign/cysts. My best to you nonetheless.

Costochronditis perhaps. Its when the cartilage that connects your ribs to your sternum gets injured. I had pain all though my chest all around my ribs to my back. It had me in tears. It took several weeks for it to heal too. If not for the cyst, it almost sounds like that is what Shasta has.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I tend to be the freak out type, too.

Healing thoughts, good wishes, and heartfelt prayers all heading your way. And also wishes for come peace and calm in the midst of this storm.

[mmhmm]

Shasta, hon, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I do hope it turns out to be nothing serious, and you can just be treated for your pain until you don't need to be anymore. You'll be in my thoughts. Please, do keep us posted.

[daisylu]

Sorry that you have to go through this.

I definitely agree with everyone who has suggested staying away from Dr Google. There is such a thing as too much info, especially when you do not know exactly what you are facing yet. Hugs to you.