mizbear
Senior Member
Stand back. I have a budget, and I know how to use it.
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:12:46 GMT -5
Posts: 3,958
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Post by mizbear on Feb 1, 2012 21:13:17 GMT -5
I was born in 1976. But I did not have a traditional upbringing (stuck in between generations and raised largely by my grandparents) and also was raised in a somewhat rural area- okay mostly rural.
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Deleted
Joined: Apr 26, 2024 15:25:16 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2012 8:52:43 GMT -5
Well? There you have it, Rip. Half of us would have expressed our thanks. The other half would have maced you! Guess it's a chance you have to take!! LOL I wonder if there is a age range on who said yes and who said no? You know, born before or after 1970 I am 29 and would have said "thanks" or smiled politely.
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wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
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Post by wvugurl26 on Feb 2, 2012 9:04:19 GMT -5
I'm 27, I smile or say thanks and move on. I've had several guys including a security guard at work ask me for my number. I decline and move on. Honestly being rude takes more energy. If someone pursued it I might be rude to make a point but not as a response to one comment.
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redwagon
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:16:11 GMT -5
Posts: 2,642
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Post by redwagon on Feb 2, 2012 9:31:30 GMT -5
I'm 28 and would have smiled and moved on. I work in Manhattan and get cat-called or "hey beautiful" from various men working on the street (construction, trash guys, street sweepers...) so I'm kind of used to it. And since I in no way consider myself beautiful (passably attractive, yes, beautiful, no) I immediately blush and smile at them and then scurry off quickly cause I'm embarrassed. If I'm in a good, confident mood I might laugh and say thanks and, again, scurry off quickly because I'm embarrassed. But I'd never yell at them. They mean no harm. And honestly, it's nice to be called beautiful by someone other than my husband sometimes.
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Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Feb 2, 2012 9:48:13 GMT -5
I'm 36 and I would have smiled and told you "thanks".
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murphath
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 16:12:33 GMT -5
Posts: 1,981
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Post by murphath on Feb 2, 2012 12:01:11 GMT -5
DD2 is an extremely attractive 3rd year med student; which means she is currently doing different rotations. She just finished the hospital internal medicine one which required "doing rounds" with patients, etc.. The older gentlemen always make remarks about her youth (25) and looks, but in a kind of joking way. She just smiles, tells them they remind her of her grandpa (who she adored!) and goes about her business. The younger gentlemen usually don't say anything, but she can tell from their faces that they are a bit taken aback when she walks in the first time. Guess in our society we don't expect gals to be both attractive and smart? She actually hit the trifecta as she's also athletic: played basketball all the way through college! But she says it does make her a bit uncomfortable with the younger ones because she can feel their discomfort. She just smiles, says good morning, shakes their hand and gets on with whatever she's there to do. With regard to this situation, I think she would also just smile, say thanks and move on. That gal obviously felt threatened somehow--thus the remark. So, let's turn this around a bit. If you saw a really good looking man in the grocery line and his transaction took a bit of time, would you say, "Handsome doesn't need to apologize. Take all the time you need". Personally, I wouldn't say that--it does sound a bit strange, doesn't it? But I would probably be saying to myself, "gosh, that guy sure has it in the looks department." Nothing wrong with admiring the view--I just wouldn't verbalize it.
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Post by bluecluessubtlety on Feb 2, 2012 12:40:38 GMT -5
A 30 yr old man making that same remark to me with a certain look, I might take it as a cheesy pick up and give no response (still wouldn't respond like the woman in the OP did though).
An older man (assuming the OP is not lecherous looking), I would take it as a compliment as intended and say thank you.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Feb 2, 2012 19:59:26 GMT -5
I get this that her beauty (which she largely has no control over) means that she can take all the time in the world, but if she had been less attractive, you'd have been pissed that she was taking up more time.
Huge double standard, isn't it?
What would you have said if the woman ahead of you wasn't beautiful? Would you have been so gracious, or would you have acted like an ass because she was taking up too much time?
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gavinsnana
Senior Member
If we forget we are One Nation Under God, then we are a Nation gone under. Ronald Reagan
Joined: Oct 13, 2011 11:02:40 GMT -5
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Post by gavinsnana on Feb 2, 2012 20:56:36 GMT -5
Sounds like she liked the compliment at first (the smile and the blushing) and then saw the bulge in your pants and thought you were a creep. Sorry,.. but heck that was funny ;D
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gavinsnana
Senior Member
If we forget we are One Nation Under God, then we are a Nation gone under. Ronald Reagan
Joined: Oct 13, 2011 11:02:40 GMT -5
Posts: 3,201
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Post by gavinsnana on Feb 2, 2012 20:58:00 GMT -5
I get this that her beauty (which she largely has no control over) means that she can take all the time in the world, but if she had been less attractive, you'd have been pissed that she was taking up more time. Huge double standard, isn't it? What would you have said if the woman ahead of you wasn't beautiful? Would you have been so gracious, or would you have acted like an ass because she was taking up too much time? hmmm interesting point.. which brings me back to my post a page back, Beauty is only skin deep..
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ripvanwinkle
Well-Known Member
All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing - Edmund Burke 1729 -1797
Joined: Jan 9, 2011 22:36:42 GMT -5
Posts: 1,349
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Post by ripvanwinkle on Feb 2, 2012 21:22:52 GMT -5
I get this that her beauty (which she largely has no control over) means that she can take all the time in the world, but if she had been less attractive, you'd have been pissed that she was taking up more time. Huge double standard, isn't it? What would you have said if the woman ahead of you wasn't beautiful? Would you have been so gracious, or would you have acted like an ass because she was taking up too much time? Well no. I would have been just as gracious. Things happen. Unfortunately one of my flaws is that I have the patience of Job in the bible I've been told. (Read the book of Job for all you non religious types). I would have just waited knowing this wait would not last for ever.
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Golden Cavalier
Familiar Member
Bring it on!!
Joined: Sept 7, 2011 20:45:26 GMT -5
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Post by Golden Cavalier on Feb 2, 2012 22:06:40 GMT -5
Because of the world we live in today, I am cautious when I find myself in a situation like this. To me, it would seem like flirting - which can turn into creepiness quickly. But there was no need for her to be so overtly rude. As a person, I do take offense to this part of it. I totally agree with Daisylu. Bottom line, Rip, is that a true gentleman would never comment on a stranger's appearance, good or bad. Reserve your verbal appreciation of beauty for the women in your life (wife, mother, sisters, female friends, etc.).
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sealy
Familiar Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 2:49:52 GMT -5
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Post by sealy on Feb 4, 2012 14:23:00 GMT -5
Maybe she was attacked before . Who knows why she was rude to you. I would LOVE to have someone tell me that. Perhaps she was just having a bad day.
I don't think you should stop complimenting women.
I think you are a "true" gentleman. You cared enough about your fellow person to try to say something that was uplifting. It's not your fault her insides were being ugly that day. Don't stop being who you are.
BTW I'm 44. I've only been told once that I was beautiful, by a stranger, and it made my day.
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ripvanwinkle
Well-Known Member
All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing - Edmund Burke 1729 -1797
Joined: Jan 9, 2011 22:36:42 GMT -5
Posts: 1,349
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Post by ripvanwinkle on Feb 4, 2012 18:34:01 GMT -5
Thanks all for the insight
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