Ladies- Was I wrong?

[ripvanwinkle]

In my 3 score years, I have had the fortune of being with some beautiful women. I have always complemented them on how beautiful they were and they received the complement well.

Today while waiting in line to have my groceries checked, ahead of me was a woman about 35-40 in which I can only describe as a stunningly beautiful woman. Very little makeup and even though she was in a sweatsuit ensemble, it was working for her!

It seems she was having trouble of some sort with her card and the clerk was trying to run it manually. She sheepishly looked at at me and apologized for the delay. At which I then said " That's allright, beauty need not apologize and by the way, you are the most beautiful woman I've seen in a while"!

At first she visibly blushed and smiled a nice smile and seemed flattered but then told me, and I quote, "Put it where the sun doesn't shine"! She got her groceries and seemingly left in a huff.

Ladies - Was I wrong? As I said, I complement beauty where I see it. What's wrong with that?

[Deleted]

I have never been comfortable when strangers comment on my appearance. Even complements creep me out and I think it did her too.

[twinmama85]

Unfortunately, chivalry has been thrown out the window about a century ago, so it is hard for women to sense the sincerity in a compliment from a man, especially if the said woman is very attractive, she probably gets picked up on A LOT. So when yous ay something like that, it probably came off as you giving her a cheesy pick up line.

[Deleted]

Sounds like she liked the compliment at first (the smile and the blushing) and then saw the bulge in your pants and thought you were a creep.

[Deleted]

Feb 1, 2012 9:25:48 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Sounds like she liked the compliment at first (the smile and the blushing) and then saw the bulge in your pants and thought you were a creep.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I disagree. I don't think you did anything wrong at all. She should have smiled, said, "Thank you. That was a nice thing to say.", and been on her way. We are all insulted so easily these days, even when no insult was intended. Although, with the world being what it is, one never knows if a compliment is a prelude to the guy following you to your car, cutting your throat and taking your purse.

I get such a kick out of we ladies. We spend hours making ourselves look nice and then get all offended when someone recognizes it. We wear low cut clothing and then get pissed off when someone stares at our cleavage. We wear tight jeans and then huff when we get a wolf whistle. We can be a bit difficult to understand sometimes.

[Deleted]

GEL - You get all that because one woman in 60 years wasn't completely thrilled with his compliment?

OP - If that woman was as pretty as you say you would not be the first to comment on it. And I suspect not all the previous experiences were positive. Give her the benefit of the doubt.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I do get that, laterbloomer. She doesn't have to be completely thrilled to have basic manners. I know lots will disagree. Fact is? I'm a woman and I like being a woman. I don't want to be a man and I don't get all pissed off and uppity when someone points out that I'm not one! I know it isn't a popular opinion and that's ok. It's just the way I feel.

[Opti]

" That's allright, beauty need not apologize"

Her reaction was based on what she was feeling at the time far more than what you said. My guess is at first she felt complimented or felt bad about the delay and while she was fighting with the card she thought more about what you said. Given the phenomena of blonde jokes she may have thought you were insulting her.
In other words, she may have on reflection thought you were saying its OK to screw up because you are pretty and I'm enjoying the view.

Just a guess. Without actually quizzing her and her telling truthfully what she was thinking we and you cannot know.

[Deleted]

shoot, I'd like to be called "pretty"! She could have just said "thanks". Saying "put it where the sun don't shine" is rude and requires too much effort. It also makes you sound classless.


I'm all for women's liberation and all that jazz, but I'm with GEL on this one.

[daisylu]

Because of the world we live in today, I am cautious when I find myself in a situation like this. To me, it would seem like flirting - which can turn into creepiness quickly.

But there was no need for her to be so overtly rude.

That's allright, beauty need not apologize

As a person, I do take offense to this part of it.

[Deleted]

I always say "thank you" and move on even if I think it's a pick up line. She was rude.

[bluecluessubtlety]

Even a thank you wasn't necessary. Just a nod. To come back with the comment she did was beyond rude. That's judging based on what you've written.

I could only see her reaction being justified if you said it in a really lecherous voice with a creepy drooly look.

[Green Eyed Lady]

As I'm thinking more about it and reading the exact compliment, I guess if you were hypersensitive and actually heard, "Beauty need not apologize, but ugly women damn well should.", I might have had a different reaction. I dunno. I just say "thanks" and move on.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I wouldn't say anything but I might inch my cart away from you. Saying something would be too much of an effort and might possibly encourage you. I'd smile nicely and then hurry up with my groceries.

Sounds great if it was something written by Byron, but comes off as something odd for a random dude to say to me.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Well? There you have it, Rip. Half of us would have expressed our thanks. The other half would have maced you! Guess it's a chance you have to take!! LOL

[Peace Of Mind]

Feb 1, 2012 10:40:15 GMT -5 @familycfo said:

I always say "thank you" and move on even if I think it's a pick up line. She was rude.

I agree with Fam. She didn't have to be rude. If I ever feel somebody is trying to pick me up I just stay polite towards the guy, say thank you to the compliment, and then break eye contact immediately and continue my way so I don't encourage them.

Besides - I'm always afraid I'd piss off a psycho. I tend to do that now and then - even when I don't try. ;D

[Deleted]

POM! ;D

[Peace Of Mind]

LOL, Jen!!

[Deleted]

If I ever feel somebody is trying to pick me up I just stay polite towards the guy, say thank you to the compliment, and then break eye contact immediately and continue my way so I don't encourage them.

Besides - I'm always afraid I'd piss off a psycho.

This is my reasoning as well. There is no need to anger a crazy person. ;D Now if the guy is attractive, I may add some eye contact with the "thank you".

[kgb18]

Because of the world we live in today, I am cautious when I find myself in a situation like this. To me, it would seem like flirting - which can turn into creepiness quickly.

But there was no need for her to be so overtly rude.

Yes to both of those points. She may have felt uncomfortable, after all, we don't know what her past experiences have been, but she was still unnecessarily rude.

[regina24601]

Count me in the camp that gets creeped out by seemingly innocuous comments about my attractiveness (granted, those comments have been rarer and rarer with each passing year, but still). I would not have made the rude retort that the lady in your story did, but I would have felt awkward, embarrassed, on the spot, and unsure of how to respond to the "compliment" that you gave her.

[formerroomate99]

There is an element of context here too. If a man who is working as a cashier makes a comment on my appearance, I won't get threatened because I know he'll loose his job if he lays a hand on me or follows me out of the store. If some big guy on a street corner makes the same comment, then I would feel threatened, even though he probably meant nothing by it.

If this woman is used to getting catcalled all the time, then I can see how she would start taking every complement on her appearance as a threat to her safety. But considering the fact that the OP was clearly not a threat to her, she did overreact a bit.

[Deleted]

But considering the fact that the OP was clearly not a threat to her, she did overreact a bit.

What made that clear?

[mizbear]

I guess I look at it in the context of- this was the grocer's not the local bar. I would politely say thank you and drop it and keep moving. Saturday at the local dive I might be a little more cautious.
I live in a smallish town where it's not unusual for gents of a certain generation to complement the ladies. It is considered rude for us to not acknowledge it politely. Although we are expected to exercise due caution.

[formerroomate99]

Don't you just love it when folks take one line of your post, ignore the rest, and then make comments based upon that one line?

[Deleted]

I agree that the woman was rude . I just know that these "nice" comments from strangers can make you feel uncomfortable at best and sometimes just plain scared.

[ripvanwinkle]

Feb 1, 2012 9:43:13 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I get such a kick out of we ladies. We spend hours making ourselves look nice and then get all offended when someone recognizes it. We wear low cut clothing and then get pissed off when someone stares at our cleavage. We wear tight jeans and then huff when we get a wolf whistle. We can be a bit difficult to understand sometimes.

A bit diffucult? Now there's a understatement! Reminds me of one place I worked and this young woman (30ish at the time) in the summer wore shear tops with a lot of cleavage and she couldn't understand why no guy would look her in the eye when they talked to her. Well duh!!

Eventually our supervisor told her to go home and change and not to come to work dressed like that again. HR had to counsel her also.

[ripvanwinkle]

Feb 1, 2012 11:08:54 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Well? There you have it, Rip. Half of us would have expressed our thanks. The other half would have maced you! Guess it's a chance you have to take!! LOL

I wonder if there is a age range on who said yes and who said no? You know, born before or after 1970

[gavinsnana]

Well, it proves the saying.. "beauty is only skin deep"..