Can online friendships turn into relationships?

[darla44]

I'm curious about whether men and women who meet on a message board such as this, can develop a relationship strictly through online means. If they don't meet each other, can any type of love develop? And what type of love would it be, friendship love, or romantic love? Or is this just a heart-break waiting to happen?

Any thoughts?

[Deleted]

If you never meet it's like being penpals. Which isn't a bad thing if you appreciate it for what it is.

[darla44]

Or is this just a heart-break waiting to happen?

This should have been better said. "This" refers to the scenario, not personal. And heart-break is too strong a phrase, as how can you have heart-break with someone you've never met. imo

[Sum Dum Gai]

Depends on how much time the two spend talking. If it's hours a day several days a week, that's way more than a penpal.

I first met my wife in person, but we got to know each other over the next couple months online and on the phone. She lived in another state and I met her while she was on vacation. It wasn't like a few emails back and forth though. We'd talk pretty much every day, usually for at least an hour or two, and sometimes up to 8 hours a day.

[chiver78]

it could, just like any relationship could move on to the next step. I've got a bunch of friends I've met thru an annual concert cruise I've taken for almost a decade. while there's a good concentration in my immediate area, there's many more that are scattered across the continent and farther. we keep in touch throughout the year largely through FB, but before that it was a message board much like this one. I consider many of these people to be as close, if not closer than some blood relatives. I've also been to a few weddings for couples that have met on one of these trips, whose love blossomed after they kept in closer touch until the next trip. people enter and leave our lives for a reason, IMHO. that reason may be love, and it may be to teach us something about ourselves. if it's love, who cares how you met?

blessed be

[Deleted]

Can't happen. People on the internet are wackados.

[Deleted]

I'm curious about whether men and women who meet on a message board such as this, can develop a relationship strictly through online means.

Yes I believe that people who meet on a message boards such as this one can get to know one another just as they would IRL, with words and exchanges of feelings etc.


If they don't meet each other, can any type of love develop?
I've heard of a few couples that met online on message boards like this and eventually ended up getting married to each other. I think this is rare but it does happen.
Probably BECAUSE the medium is the typed word, there is MORE communication than would normally occur. Once you exchange pictures and see if you are "each others type" then anything can happen. If however the people are 5000 miles apart they will run into the same problems as any LDR.
Who wants to move and uproot their life to be with the other person etc, job challenges and even passport or work visas, all that comes into play.


And what type of love would it be, friendship love, or romantic love? Or is this just a heart-break waiting to happen?
Any thoughts?
Friendship certainly and even love can come from an ongoing online relationship. Is it heartbreak waiting to happen? Heartbreak occurs in any relationship be it online or not but yes the distance issue would make it a tough go.

I've made a few friends online that are the most wonderful people I have ever not met.

[Deleted]

Dec 20, 2011 18:39:51 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Depends on how much time the two spend talking. If it's hours a day several days a week, that's way more than a penpal.

I first met my wife in person, but we got to know each other over the next couple months online and on the phone. She lived in another state and I met her while she was on vacation. It wasn't like a few emails back and forth though. We'd talk pretty much every day, usually for at least an hour or two, and sometimes up to 8 hours a day.

That is different Dark, you guys had met in person. It makes all the difference in the world.

[darla44]

Thanks for all the responses everyone!

I agree later, that Dark had met his wife in person first, which does make a difference. I thought the same thing when I read his post. What about two people who start communicating online, send each other their picture, as Apple said, then continue their communication online? They are interested based on both their physical appearance, and what they are learning about one another through questions over time. In my case, the communicating started first, then shortly after pictures were exchanged. The communication is a few hours a day, 3-5 days a week. If the two are genuinely interested in each other, they will ask questions to learn more about the other. The more you learn, if you like what you're hearing, the feelings can grow further. Maybe there will never be a meet-up, but in that case, can there still be love? I guess that's my main question.

[Sum Dum Gai]

That is different Dark, you guys had met in person. It makes all the difference in the world.

Yeah, but we know at least one other couple that did it the other way. Talked online/phone for months, then met in person.

You fall in love with somebody as you get to know them. Learning about each other and sharing your feelings/emotions/hopes/etc. is pretty much the same whether you do it in writing, on the phone, or in person.

[darla44]

Archie, I do agree with your comment, there are plenty of "wackados" out there, whether online or IRL, lol! ;D

[darla44]

Dark, I have to agree with what you said in your last post. I have had an LDR for a few years now. We talked first in emails, then a month later, met each other, then continued emailing and phone calls until the next time we saw each other. We would see each other at least 4 times a year. In your case, you were lucky enough to have had a marriage come out of your LDR. That doesn't always happen.

[ZaireinHD]

Dec 20, 2011 18:25:28 GMT -5 @darla44 said:

I'm curious about whether men and women who meet on a message board such as this, can develop a relationship strictly through online means. If they don't meet each other, can any type of love develop? And what type of love would it be, friendship love, or romantic love? Or is this just a heart-break waiting to happen?

Any thoughts?

of course this can happen and does happen.
I see the stories on Maury all the time!

[Deleted]

Dec 20, 2011 19:30:33 GMT -5 @darla44 said:

Maybe there will never be a meet-up, but in that case, can there still be love? I guess that's my main question.

That goes back to what I said about it being like a penpal relationship. If people stay penpals for a long time there is a strong emotional bond. But it is a different relationship than coupledom.

[ZaireinHD]

absolutely their could be love in a penpal / never meet up in person.

think about the guys in prison! women seek men in prison by writing them letters. then a connection is made through the letters. then years later they get married.

[Opti]

I wonder if guys find women in prison too. Hmmmmmm. There was that Seinfeld episode with George...

[femmefatale]

I am living with a guy I met online...We've been together for 2 years now. It's had its ups and downs but we're still together.

[Opti]

How long did you talk online before you met Femme? And how long after you met in person did you decide to live together?

[femmefatale]

Dec 22, 2011 0:17:55 GMT -5 Opti said:

How long did you talk online before you met Femme? And how long after you met in person did you decide to live together?

We talked about 3 months...Then I moved up and been here since. We had one big break up but recently got back together. He is an awesome person. I'm very lucky.

[resolution]

I met my husband online, playing a video game with friends. We had hung out online for months and then he started calling and we talked every night on the phone. After about a month of talking on the phone every night he flew out to meet me in person. We didn't want to drag things out if we didn't like each other in person. We started flying back and forth once a month, so he became a very expensive date.

I think you can love someone that you spend time with online, but it is also very easy to project an image that isn't real if all your contact is online. It really depends what you are looking for if you would be satisfied to have a relationship that just stays online. In my own case, I wanted a relationship that was in real life, so if he hadn't wanted to progress to more than just online I would have stayed his friend but not emotionally invested in him.

[femmefatale]

We had actually seen each other several times before the move.

[femmefatale]

Dec 22, 2011 0:24:18 GMT -5 resolution said:

I met my husband online, playing a video game with friends. We had hung out online for months and then he started calling and we talked every night on the phone. After about a month of talking on the phone every night he flew out to meet me in person. We didn't want to drag things out if we didn't like each other in person. We started flying back and forth once a month, so he became a very expensive date.

I think you can love someone that you spend time with online, but it is also very easy to project an image that isn't real if all your contact is online. It really depends what you are looking for if you would be satisfied to have a relationship that just stays online. In my own case, I wanted a relationship that was in real life, so if he hadn't wanted to progress to more than just online I would have stayed his friend but not emotionally invested in him.

I understand that kari most definitely. It's hard to give so much online IMO...If they aren't willing to move to the next level. It all depends on what you want.

[resolution]

Even if you are both sincere and trying it can be easy to read into the other person what you want to see (been there done that). Thats why we decided to meet in person so fast after we started telephoning. We wanted more contact before we got too attached.

[darla44]

Some very nice stories in here, of relationships forming, and ending up together.
It does give one hope that love can be found online, if it is what both parties want for themselves. Just like any LDR, you have to talk regularly to make sure you're on the same page. One or both can change pages without the other knowing, so good communication is so key. It has opened up my eyes hearing about all your stories, so I thank you all!

[ZaireinHD]

does the dating web sites count?

[naggie1972]

A very good friend of mine has a daughter from an online relationship. That started chatting on a forum like this then she went to CA to visit him for two weeks, I am not sure on her part or his part whether a sexual relationship was supposed to/going to happen but it did and she got pregnant and those two weeks were the last time they saw each other. The daughter is 16 going on 17 so this was the age of AOL chat room type of thing.

[ZaireinHD]

AHHH yes the AOL chat room days!!
I had soo much fun back then!
;D