The nerve of my ex

[debtheaven]

My ex is rich, we are not. He made me an offer I couldn't refuse, exchange my CS for him covering EVERYTHING for DS1 and DS2, for both college and grad school. I realize that the merits of that are indeed debatable, but that was the deal I was offered, and I accepted because I felt it was what was best for my kids.

Fast forward. DS1 is done with school and in his first real job. He is on his second computer, gifted to him by his rich dad / my rich EX.

The computer just died, less than a year old. Under guarantee. But when they opened it up they said it got wet (don't yet have the story from DS1 the owner of the puter) and said the guarantee won't cover it.

So my ex tells me the repair is more expensive than a brand new computer. So my ex adds, you have to do a false insurance declaration so it gets covered.

HELLO?!?! Firstly, I am honest, I don't do false insurance declarations. Sorry, false declarations are not in our repertoire.

Secondly, we have had two major incidents (real ones!) in the past two / three years and our insurance co has warned us, one more incident and they drop us.

I have learnt to temper my initial reactions, but the draft I wrote up basically told my ex (politely) where he could shove it. And reminded him that the kid (a good kid, even a great kid) has exactly ZERO financial obligations, and if he needs a new computer, maybe he has to buy the next one himself, either on a no-interest loan or cash (which I know he can afford).

Still, I think it's just bloody NUTS for his dad to expect that DH and I would LIE ON PAPER AND SIGN OUR NAMES FOR A FALSE INSURANCE CLAIM.

ETA: I am EXTREMELY close to DS1. I know that when I discuss this with him he will tell me, forget it.

[suzwantstobefree]

I would do exactly the same thing. It is more important to do the right thing and not make a false claim. I am sure your child would agree and take care of it on his own.

[debtheaven]

Thank you Suz! I really appreciate that you think I am doing the right thing, because this has REALLY, REALLY upset me.

One of the best part of our kids growing up was no longer having much to do with my ex. This totally came out of left field.

[debtheaven]

Snerdley, the computer was paid for. I understand it is aggravating to have it not covered by the guarantee; but nobody is advocating taking out loans one can't afford, certainly not me.

Ex's are a PITA. Don't you just want to kick 'em in the head sometimes....

THIS lol. Problem solved, I sent my ex a polite email saying I was sorry that the computer wasn't covered but it was out of the question to do a (false) declaration on it. I was really riled up that he would ask though. Thankfully I don't have to deal with him very often.

[debtheaven]

Yes LOL.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Ex's are a PITA. Don't you just want to kick 'em in the head sometimes....


Exactly!!!
I wanted to last night! Mine doesn't pay child support at all, nor do we have a deal about college! GGGRRRR!!!

I'm proud of you for sending the polite email and not the one you really wanted to send.

[NastyWoman]

Jan 15, 2011 8:45:26 GMT -5 @debtheaven said:

Snerdley, the computer was paid for. I understand it is aggravating to have it not covered by the guarantee; but nobody is advocating taking out loans one can't afford, certainly not me.

Ex's are a PITA. Don't you just want to kick 'em in the head sometimes....

THIS lol. Problem solved, I sent my ex a polite email saying I was sorry that the computer wasn't covered but it was out of the question to do a (false) declaration on it. I was really riled up that he would ask though. Thankfully I don't have to deal with him very often.

I'll exalt you for that answer. I think it is perfect

[suzwantstobefree]

I don't even have kids with my ex but he is still a PITA. I just wish he would pay the bills that he took on as a part of the divorce.

[zibazinski]

Mine had the NERVE NOT to die before DD turned 22 so now I'm out a million bucks. Turd. He always was a twit!!!!

[debtheaven]

Thank you so much for the supportive comments! They are truly appreciated. I was so taken aback, I am so glad that I took my time in replying. And Joss thanks for the karma. You can never have enough good karma LOL.

Chloe, it's not right that your ex doesn't pay CS. Kudos to you for managing without it. I am very very lucky about the college deal. So are the kids, obviously. I know his parents help with those costs.

This said, we're in France and education is much cheaper here (although it is not generally free like many people think). As much as my ex infuriates me sometimes, I will always be extremely grateful to him and his parents for that. DS1 and DS2 are too.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Jan 15, 2011 20:17:25 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Mine had the NERVE NOT to die before DD turned 22 so now I'm out a million bucks. Turd. He always was a twit!!!!

OK, I had to wipe iced tea off my laptop thanks to this post.

[Elderkind]

DebtHeaven: Kudo's to you for handling a very awkward situation with grace, dignity and class! Your Ex was inappropriate and a total nutwinkle for even suggesting that you lie to your insurance company....

[zibazinski]

Giggle!!!!

[writer88]

Jan 16, 2011 8:32:30 GMT -5 Elderkind said:

DebtHeaven: Kudo's to you for handling a very awkward situation with grace, dignity and class! (

Yup, that's DebtHeaven

It's never really "over" for divorced couples, is it? Especially if there are kids involved. Still, and it's important to keep perspective here, your kids have their father. Mine don't. No matter how horrible your DH is, your kids haven't had to deal with the death of a parent. Talk about difficult! Especially when the father's sincere, honest relationship began only when he became terminally ill.