Alternatives to actual cussing

[Tiny]

So, what creative phrases do you all use instead of the actual cussing like words...

"Cheese and Rice!" for, well, "Jesus Christ!"
To describe someplace far far away: Where God left his shoes instead of the more colorful BumbleF@#%.

Try to keep it clean...

[Apple]

To describe someplace far far away: Where God left his shoes instead of the more colorful BumbleF@#%.

We call that BFE (first word=butt, last word=Egypt)
Other acronyms...Snafu, fubar and bohica (although bohica doesn't have any bad words, just "bend over, here it comes again") And at work, "nice shirt" is code for F you.

[verrip1]

I once told an angry young bartender to say "Thank you" to her bar manager every time she was criticized. It worked because I told her to think she was saying "F--- you!" instead.

[DebMD (banned)]

Alternatives to actual cussing

get a larger vocabulary....?

[Bluerobin]

I am a purist and just use the cusses!

[The J]

I don't cuss, so I don't need alternatives.

On the other hand, I do curse when the fucking situation calls for it.

[Cookies Galore]

I say "mother fletcher" instead of you know what. I used to give people a thumbs up instead of flipping them the bird, but that got really confusing when I wanted to give someone a legitimate thumbs up.
My favorite non-cuss is "cram." As my brother would say "it's not crap and it's not damn, it's cram!"

[Kung Fu Panda]

Around the kids: Fudge, Fiddlesticks, Fuuuu..arefenugan, shiii..eeash (sometimes the filter is a syllable late )

[BeenThere...DoneThat...]

...what an interesting thread...





ETA: you've GOT to be kidding, BLESS your HEART, UNbeLIEVable

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I saw an interesting study not that long ago.

What they did was they put the hand of the study participant in a bowl of ice water and told them that they could not use any curse words. Then they timed the amount of time that the person could leave their hand in the bowl of water.

Same person (I'm assuming after letting them thaw out) they put the same hand into a bowl of ice water and told them that they could say whatever they wanted. By being able to curse, the study participant was able to leave their hand in the ice water much longer (I think it was almost 2x as long).

[efco]

I don't cuss. I see no need.

Yes, I am better than you.

[Miss Tequila]

Jan 12, 2011 10:08:07 GMT -5 @efco said:

I don't cuss. I see no need.

Yes, I am better than you.

EFCO is Later??

[Deleted]

LOL Tina!
I call everyone a dippity doo when I'm driving with the kids in the car.

[Befferz]

I say heckipoo--as in, my coworker is irritating the heckipoo out of me today. #headbang#

[Abby Normal]

I used bugger.

It's buggered up. Oh Bugger.

[Apple]

Oh, my mom's growing up was "shoot a nanny goat". She never cussed. She had a few others but I can't remember them right now.
There is also a guy who, when I'm around people that don't cuss, I'll say wants to be my "fun" buddy (he's not, but he keeps trying).
I don't cuss around my son or my family, so I know how not to, but at work it's just easier to be honest about the word and use the real one. I cuss like a friggin' sailor. I've also been using "wonky" when I really mean f-ed up. Like, I don't know what they were doing when they tried to fix that circuit, but now it's all wonky (or all kinds of wonky).

[Malarky]

My screen name is the alternative that DD tried to get me to use instead of the word bullshit.
<<shrug>> They mean the same thing.

[KaraBoo]

Ever notice Spongebob cussing?

I've told my kids that any word can be used as a cuss word - even I Love You - if used with the right tone, timing and inflection. I've also explained that some words are more acceptable than others when coming from kids within adults hearing range.

Oh Barnicles!! is acceptable - Oh Sh*t!! is not (coming from an 8 year old - although I agree it's funny to hear it!)

[MB-NY]

One of my favorites that I use almost every day I borrowed from Col. Potter on the TV show MASH. Instead of bullshit (or Malarky), when necessary, I just shout out "Horse Hockey!"

[Deleted]

I've got a mouth worse than a sailor and my husband isn't that much better. When our oldest was starting to repeat everything, we went cold turkey on the cursing and switched to "spongebob mode" We've completely replaced our vocab with "tarter sauce", "barnacles!", and "fish paste". It's fun to watch my husband play basketball now and shout "tarter sauce" when he misses. The odd looks he gets make it all worth it.

On a related note, the "Sailor Mouth" episode in season 2 of Spongebob was the BEST.

[Cookies Galore]

Jan 12, 2011 13:01:58 GMT -5 KaraBoo said:

I've told my kids that any word can be used as a cuss word - even I Love You - if used with the right tone, timing and inflection. I've also explained that some words are more acceptable than others when coming from kids within adults hearing range.

LOL, that's how I got my nickname! Years ago my brother and I were talking about how you can turn anything into an insult just by how you say.

I, too, say "wonky." It's such a great word! And "blarg," that one is good as well.

[Tiny]

Jan 12, 2011 9:16:54 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

As my brother would say "it's not crap and it's not damn, it's cram!"

I like cram... I may need to replace Craptastic with Cram.

Anybody see that gum commercial (have no idea of the brand...) that "cleans up a dirty mouth"... where everyone blurts out words that sound like Bad Words but aren't? hee hee hee

[Cookies Galore]

Ack! I just realized I mentioned my brother twice in this thread! Someone from West Virginia or Pennsyltucky might think there was something-something going on!

[greeneyedchicka]

"And at work, "nice shirt" is code for F you."

At work we use, "Is that right?", which is code for telling someone to go F themselves.

I am also a sailor mouth at times, but do censor myself around kids.

I often use:

"Son of a Sea Cook!"
"What the Frick!"
"Sheezu!"

And from Sponge Bob "Fire on the Poop Deck!"

[Miss Tequila]

I'm of the camp that if I intend to curse, I'm just going to say the word. If you know I mean "what the fuck" is there a difference if I say "what the fudge"? I really try not to drop the F bomb around my children (all bets are off when I'm driving and some idiot cuts me off!) but I also will not say a replacement F word. My kids would know what I meant and I wouldn't want to hear them same fudge anymore than I would want them to say fuck.

[naggie72]

Oh man I am a bad cusser, I should be more lady like.

[dancinmama]

Besides shucks, shoot, etc. (which I don't REALLY use)...

What the frick?

[Loopdilou]

I consider alternate swear words to be real swear words. Everyone who hears them know what they are. Swearing is a way of saying things - not the words themselves.. and I "swear" quite a lot. I enjoy frak, shiznit, effin, fark, fudgesicle, bull hockey, biscuit (as in "son of"), etc., etc.
Of course.. we also swear around our kids so alternatives are mostly a way to mix things up.. the standard list gets boring.

[Miss Tequila]

Jan 12, 2011 15:05:04 GMT -5 Loopdilou said:

I consider alternate swear words to be real swear words. Everyone who hears them know what they are. Swearing is a way of saying things - not the words themselves.. and I "swear" quite a lot. I enjoy frak, shiznit, effin, fark, fudgesicle, bull hockey, biscuit (as in "son of"), etc., etc.
Of course.. we also swear around our kids so alternatives are mostly a way to mix things up.. the standard list gets boring.

Loop, that's exactly what I was trying to say....saying fudge in the context of fuck, is still saying fuck.

I do curse around the kids, just try not to drop the F bomb...of course, I let them listen to my music which is peppered with it

[NancysSummerSip]

Well, y'all did come up with "What the E?!"

I actually caught myself using that on a few occasions. No question, I am here too much.