Canadian "Terrorists" and Chocolate Candy Eggs

[traelin0]

This is the story of a doomed empire. Not just any empire, but my nation, my home, the United States of America. While planes laden with illegal narcotics land without transponders in the dark of night in make shift fields throughout Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, and my home state of Florida; while terrorist documents and Korans are found throughout the deserts of Arizona and along the borders of South Texas; and while student visas are being ignored where young Middle Eastern men, the primary suspects and promoters of terrorist activity worldwide disappear and the government claims it is overwhelmed, there is one bright shining bit of news:

We stopped a Canadian terrorist woman trying to smuggle a banned chocolate egg piece of candy.

Whew. I knew Canadians were a threat. The terrorists who allegedly blew up Building 7 probably used 4,639,002 of these Kinder eggs to get all of the people on the top floor so fat they collapsed the building. I’ll bet they were in Canada at some point s they passed out those evil eggs. The story from the CBC says it all:

Woman’s candy egg seized at border

I kid you not.

From the story:

Lind Bird was recently stopped at the U.S. border and selected for a random search of her vehicle. She was warned she could have faced a fine after the customs official found — and seized — her $2 Kinder Surprise egg as illegal contraband.

Bird learned U.S. authorities have banned the candy because they come with a plastic toy inside that could, if eaten, choke a small child.

“It’s just a chocolate egg,” Bird said. “And they were making a big deal. They said ‘if you were caught with this across the border you would get charged a $300 fine,’” she said.

“It’s ridiculous. It’s so ridiculous,” she added.

Thus it is safe to deduct from this story that:

a. 89 year old women with metal rods supporting broken bones must continue to be strip searched at U.S. airports because they are the primary suspects for terrorism worldwide. Who knows how many high calorie terrorist apple pies they’ve baked.

b. The United States Border Patrol and Customs have been given idiotic tasks to perform while drugs, explosives, and real terrorists walk across the southern border unmolested.

c. Canada is sheltering the secret hiding bases for Al-Wonka, a chocolate based terrorist group destined to go down in history as the Center for Science in the Public Interest will demand the 101st Airborne Division launch a full operation against Ontario to find the evil manufacturers in Wonkastan where chocolates are being developed to fatten and create more stupid people that will support their cause.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I will sleep better tonight knowing that by stopping this evil member of Al-Wonka one less teenager might not have to face the dreaded attack of a Zit from indulging in that $2 chocolate egg. Good work boys!

Read more here.

[handyman2]

It seems our government bureaucracy has become our biggest gathering of the mentally impaired. To top it off we pay them for this kind of nonsense.

[workpublic]

how will that same incompeten, goldbricking, insider ilk handle health care, the auto industry and housing?

that would be as stupid as putting the MTA in charge of mass transit. ;D