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Post by thamagnificentbob on Sept 14, 2011 10:21:23 GMT -5
Colondra Hamilton took multitasking while driving to a new level earlier this week.
Forget the people who drink their coffee, chat on their cell phones, do their makeup, or read the paper while driving. Those in-car distractions are child's play compared to what Elmwood Place cops found Hamilton doing while behind the wheel earlier this week.
It all began when police noticed illegally tinted windows on her vehicle.
When they pulled Hamilton, 36, over, they noticed her pants were unbuttoned, a vibrator was sitting in her lap, and her passenger was holding a computer. Those dots were pretty easy to connect.
Yep, she was doing exactly what they thought she was doing... taking her talents to South Beach for her companion in the 2008 Pontiac.
According to documents on The Smoking Gun, Hamilton admitted to using the vibrator on herself while driving and watching a porno being played on the laptop held by the passenger.
They also found part of a broken crack pipe in her purse.
What do you get charged with for masturbating while driving and watching a porno?
Police call this one driving "with impaired alertness."
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PK Bucko
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 29, 2011 9:06:37 GMT -5
Posts: 5,098 
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Post by PK Bucko on Sept 14, 2011 10:48:10 GMT -5
I've seen women diddling themselves driving before but this chick is the champ. A whole new level.
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Apple
Junior Associate
Always travel with a sense of humor
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:51:04 GMT -5
Posts: 9,938
Mini-Profile Name Color: dc0e29
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Post by Apple on Sept 14, 2011 14:07:39 GMT -5
<<  apple decides to take the laptop on her daily commute>> |
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bean29
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:26:57 GMT -5
Posts: 10,273 
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Post by bean29 on Sept 14, 2011 15:36:31 GMT -5
<< apple decides to take the laptop on her daily commute>> bean reads apple's post and while laughing looks over to the left and wonder's what is that apple's dog is chewing on? |
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Apple
Junior Associate
Always travel with a sense of humor
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:51:04 GMT -5
Posts: 9,938
Mini-Profile Name Color: dc0e29
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Post by Apple on Sept 14, 2011 16:38:05 GMT -5
<< apple decides to take the laptop on her daily commute>> bean reads apple's post and while laughing looks over to the left and wonder's what is that apple's dog is chewing on? It *was* a dog frisbee, for about two minutes. She gets tires and old juice bottles for chew toys now... |
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jan
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 9:37:02 GMT -5
Posts: 1,663
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Post by jan on Sept 14, 2011 21:17:32 GMT -5
The perfect picture of stupid.
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Cj
Well-Known Member
Found!
Joined: Aug 27, 2011 12:17:21 GMT -5
Posts: 1,693
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Post by Cj on Sept 14, 2011 23:52:15 GMT -5
They also found part of a broken crack pipe in her purse. This explains everything, crack head and didn't know the diff. between her crack pipe and a dildo. Impaired altertness bullshyte. |
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PK Bucko
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 29, 2011 9:06:37 GMT -5
Posts: 5,098
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Post by PK Bucko on Sept 15, 2011 10:01:44 GMT -5
Dear Valued Customer, Thank you for your recent order from Adult Toy Megastore. You asked for the large red vibrator featured in our wall display. Please select a different item, that was our fire extinguisher. Sincerely, ATM Customer Service
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Cj
Well-Known Member
Found!
Joined: Aug 27, 2011 12:17:21 GMT -5
Posts: 1,693
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Post by Cj on Sept 15, 2011 11:50:47 GMT -5
Dear Valued Customer, Thank you for your recent order from Adult Toy Megastore. You asked for the large red vibrator featured in our wall display. Please select a different item, that was our fire extinguisher. Sincerely, ATM Customer Service   |
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lexxy703
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 26, 2011 13:52:17 GMT -5
Posts: 13,771
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Post by lexxy703 on Sept 15, 2011 11:53:38 GMT -5
Dear Valued Customer, Thank you for your recent order from Adult Toy Megastore. You asked for the large red vibrator featured in our wall display. Please select a different item, that was our fire extinguisher. Sincerely, ATM Customer Service LMAO, PK that one earned you some karma  |
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PK Bucko
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 29, 2011 9:06:37 GMT -5
Posts: 5,098
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Post by PK Bucko on Sept 15, 2011 13:14:36 GMT -5
 I'm still looking for an "all of the above" box to check on the survey.
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42er
Established Member
Joined: Aug 26, 2011 17:31:47 GMT -5
Posts: 491
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Post by 42er on Sept 15, 2011 13:24:26 GMT -5
Colondra? really?
Why not Meconia? The female version of Meconium.
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