Should I or not?

[Miss Tequila]

The height thing would turn me off...I'm 5'8.5" and have to have a guy that is taller than me...I'm probably shallow though...

Good luck

[Sammy]

Same here, Tina, 5' 8.5"..... shrunk an inch since, but so did my 6' 4" husband who is now 6' 3". I'm cool with that aka as shallow. LOL

[marvholly]

flip a coin to pick ONE of the 2 guys. After church suggest to the 'winner' coffee or brunch/breakfast at a cheap local place.

If no bells & fireworks from that in a month do the same w/the former 'loser.'

[spydah]

Ask the tall guy out for a coffee and see what happens. You have nothing to lose and you don't have to wait for him to ask you out as he might be shy.

[fnw]

Sept 8, 2011 14:02:36 GMT -5 lilyofcourse said:

Sept 8, 2011 13:53:22 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

You said that you have been praying to God for Mr. Right how do you know that God isn't knocking on your door via Church Guy?

I hear what you are saying.

I have not dated anyone shorter, but I have dated men who were only an inch or two taller than me. I'm 5'2 1/2", so these men were short. It bothered me. But it was a learning experience, too. I learned that I needed man who was taller than me (with heals). So I refused to date anyone under 5'9". It saved me from wasting my time (and his) and having things end with a messy breakup.

[lurkyberk]

Lily, just ask the taller guy out. What's the worst he could say? No?
It wouldn't be the end of the world if he did. There is nothing at all wrong
with asking a guy out. If the short guy turns you off, then don't go
out with him. Simple. Good luck!

[autoguy]

Lily, if the height thing is a real issue, you may not want to waste his time. The taller guy may be a little shy, and if you are interested, you may have to make the first move. We all have our likes and dislikes, and if you don't want to go out with the shorter guy, don't. Listen to your gut.

[lurkyberk]

Sept 15, 2011 16:45:50 GMT -5 autoguy said:

Lily, if the height thing is a real issue, you may not want to waste his time. The taller guy may be a little shy, and if you are interested, you may have to make the first move. We all have our likes and dislikes, and if you don't want to go out with the shorter guy, don't. Listen to your gut.

Exactly!

[crusher]

I was shy, like in 8th grade. Who puts out feelers through a church musical director? Go ahead and ask one of the ninnies out - you could completely own them.

[achelois]

The fact that he is a foot shorter shouldn't matter unless you can't stand the thought that his nose would be in your navel....

[lilyofcourse]

I forgot about this thread.

Well I let the short guy know I wasnt interested. He is now tangled up with one of the older women of the church. (she's a special kind of person, she traveled with the circus in her younger days and has a son that is rather special himself.)

I did find out that the short guy had been married before and that his first wife was treated for some pretty serious mental issues. I really dont want to deal with that kind of past.

Now the other guy. He and I are talking more. He introduced me to his daughter and grandkids during the pastor appreciation lunch. Nothing serious just getting to know each other. And thats perfectly fine with me.

[autoguy]

Lily, it sounds like you made the right decision. The short guy probably has too much baggage. If things don't work out with the taller guy, at least you gave it a shot and didn't rush into something.

[car-chick]

I have kind of taken a different approach. I give anyone a chance that ASKS me. You just never know, but if he is fishing this much I would have certainly thought he would have asked by now. One date isn't that big of a deal in the sense that you aren't wasting a lot of time or money, but you never know where it may go. If you don't have any interest, offer to "go dutch" and tell him you would like to be friends. Honesty is the best policy but give the guys that ask a chance......

[ZaireinHD]

Sept 10, 2011 7:06:04 GMT -5 Lady Gaga Gaga Snerd said:

If you can go out with him and just get to know him as a person, you may find him very likeable or not. You really don't know unless you spend some time together. So, why not at least get to know one another a bit. And if he isn't for you, then he isn't for you.

Snerdley! wonderfully spoken!

I would like to add. Women like to wear heels. if you are already taller in flats then that's a bigger problem. but right now say he is a good guy for you. BUT the height difference is something you mentioned first.
So I'm thinking in the beginning it will not bother you too much he's shorter but as a relationship develops! it will become a bigger issue.

[ZaireinHD]

Sept 24, 2011 11:59:30 GMT -5 lilyofcourse said:

I forgot about this thread.

Well I let the short guy know I wasnt interested. He is now tangled up with one of the older women of the church. (she's a special kind of person, she traveled with the circus in her younger days and has a son that is rather special himself.)

I did find out that the short guy had been married before and that his first wife was treated for some pretty serious mental issues. I really dont want to deal with that kind of past.

Now the other guy. He and I are talking more. He introduced me to his daughter and grandkids during the pastor appreciation lunch. Nothing serious just getting to know each other. And thats perfectly fine with me.

I think you made the right decision as well.
Hope things work out for Ya!

[renegadepatio]

Hmmm i know you already decided, but lets see a couple inches shorter and a foot shorter. I dont mind guys being a few inches shorter than i am, but a foot that is too much shorter. Texas is a couple of inches shorter good thing i had decided it wouldnt bother me or i would have missed out on him.

I guess i am under the notion to go out with anyone that asks, but i would make it a coffee or lunch date, dutch. That way no hard feelings on money spent if it didnt work out, but i am also under the notion that you need to go out twice, unless your neck hairs stand up then leave asap.

[lilyofcourse]

Patty when i say a foot shorter I mean at least that. Now I know short people need love too. But this guy is, well I just dont know how else to say it other than special. yes he is sweet and he smiles a lot. But something is loose in the attic. You know what I mean?

[fnw]

Short guys need love. But they'll have to find it elsewhere, as far as I'm concerned.

[Deleted]

Sept 7, 2011 22:17:15 GMT -5 lilyofcourse said:

I have been praying that God would help me become the Mrs. Right to the Mr. Right he has put on this earth for me.

I don't like this belief that you must be altered to fit with some anticipated Mr Right. Are you perchance LDS?

Above all, you should always be true to yourself and your values. Pretending to be something else to catch a man is never going to work. How could you respect someone who did not value you for being YOU?

No Chemistry = No Go

Why the rush? Is there a lot of church, family, social pressure that you should be married?

[lilyofcourse]

Sept 27, 2011 18:55:58 GMT -5 @rockit said:

Sept 7, 2011 22:17:15 GMT -5 lilyofcourse said:

I have been praying that God would help me become the Mrs. Right to the Mr. Right he has put on this earth for me.

I don't like this belief that you must be altered to fit with some anticipated Mr Right. Are you perchance LDS?

Above all, you should always be true to yourself and your values. Pretending to be something else to catch a man is never going to work. How could you respect someone who did not value you for being YOU?

No Chemistry = No Go

Why the rush? Is there a lot of church, family, social pressure that you should be married?

How can I ask someone else to be Mr.Right if I am unwilling or unable to be his Mrs. Right. It isnt about altering myself for him so he likes me more. It's about being whole and healthy both emotionally, spiritually, and physically in my own right.

and as for rushing, I have been single for nearly 13 yrs now. divorced mom of three and I put everything into raising my kids and making sure they were taken care of. There is no rushing on my part.

No I am not LDS. I am however a daughter of the King and as a princess I will not except mediocrity. And no I dont mean that to sound like a diva. But more that I settled in the past. I'm not settling any more.

I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than settle for less than what God has in store for me. I deserve more than second best. And I'll never be that again.

[Deleted]

Being whole and healthy in your own right is certainly an excellent goal!

I guess I am puzzled if you are truly not 'settling' why you would be considering dating someone who is distasteful to you (at least that is how your comments came across). That is what prompted my question 'why the rush?' Maybe your friends/family are in more of a rush for you than you are!

I will wish you the best in your search for your life partner.

[lilyofcourse]

I believe I posted more as a thinking out loud give me the pros and cons of it than anything. Like I said I havent dated in over a decade. And God doesnt put neon signs over people saying "he's the one for you". My questioning and considering was trying to discern my will from Gods. And by being patient and waiting I believe I got my answer.

My family could care less if I date. I've been told as much by most.

[lilyofcourse]

I'm not talking about being something I'm not. I dont know why that is being misunderstood. And Lord knows I dont want someone to pretend to be something they are not. I realized a long time ago that I wasnt marriage ready due to the hurt, scars, and bitterness in my heart because of a failed relationship. If I had jumped back into dating then and not taken to the time to heal, seek God, and become whole again then I would probably be post 2nd divorce and still not understanding what a marriage is.

The Mrs. Right I am talking about being is not the one the world would think of. But the one God has set my path to be. The Mrs. Right for the man God put on the planet for me. That doesnt mean perfect. That means the right woman for the right man. the one that we fit together.

I'm not looking for a husband using the worlds measuring stick. I'm looking for one using Gods measuring stick. What God has set forth in the Bible as a man of Faith and love. I want Gods idea of marriage. Not the worlds.

[lilyofcourse]

Thank you. So do I.

[Deleted]

Oh Lily, good lord, you are lost in the opiate of the people. But who am I to judge if you want to turn all of your free will and responsibilities to the hands of the almighty. It's easier that way, god will fix you up with the man that was meant to be for you.

If I was near you, I would bytch slap (figuratively speaking) some sense into you. You, only you, can make things happen for you. (and if any mod is looking and thinks this is offensive, know that we always have had exchanges like this...Lily is not a shrinking violet).

Get out there...your kids are older and don't really need you all that much.

[lilyofcourse]

Robert, if I was good at picking the good ones would I be single now? I dont think so. It's like this. If I always do what I always did, I get what I always got. I want different. So I do different.

And if you were near me you'd be all over me wanting the chance just to stand next to my fire and you know it.

[Deleted]

Sept 30, 2011 10:43:01 GMT -5 lilyofcourse said:

Robert, if I was good at picking the good ones would I be single now? I dont think so. It's like this. If I always do what I always did, I get what I always got. I want different. So I do different.

Well, that's a good enough explanation. You know what they say about doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Sept 30, 2011 10:43:01 GMT -5 lilyofcourse said:

And if you were near me you'd be all over me wanting the chance just to stand next to my fire and you know it.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. Sorry, I'm just trying out all these little features. Small minds are easily amused. ;D

[lilyofcourse]

Small minds are easily amused

And this is exactly the kind of thing I am staying away from this time.