lilyofcourse
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Post by lilyofcourse on Sept 7, 2011 22:17:15 GMT -5
Ok. as many of those who know me, know I dont do the love thing very well. But I have been praying that God would help me become the Mrs. Right to the Mr. Right he has put on this earth for me.
Well there is a guy at my church who is the furtherest thing from my type who for whatever reason has made it known that he likes me. Sure he seems nice enough. But he's at least a foot shorter than me. And he just doesnt, I dont know...do it for me.
He hasnt asked me out or anything yet but if he does, should I give it a shot? I dont want to hurt anyones feelings but I honestly dont see how he and I could ever have anything in common.
OK. Discuss.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2011 9:37:06 GMT -5
Dear Lily,
I think you should give it a shot. If there is no chemistry perhaps he will be your movie pal. New friends are a good thing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2011 9:37:36 GMT -5
Dear Lily,
I think you should give it a shot. If there is no chemistry perhaps he will be your movie pal. New friends are a good thing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2011 9:38:20 GMT -5
Cool I did it twice...lol The message said something about every 15 seconds...dunno....I'm still figuring this place out. So ya lily, there's my advice. Twice.  |
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 8, 2011 9:40:58 GMT -5
There's never a problem in making a friend. Friends have friends, who have friends. Even if there's no chemistry between you and this young man, you've got a new friend and with that friend comes a new set of acquaintances. Sometimes, if you have your eye on only romantic relationships, you miss the very real and lasting friendships that present themselves along the way. |
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Post by El Conquistador on Sept 8, 2011 10:59:34 GMT -5
My wife and hated each other when we first met at work. I was also way out of her league in my opinion. She gave me a shot and we've been happily married for 22 years this coming Oct. You just never know unless you try. Seems like your version of Mr. Right ain't working so well for you anyway.
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lilyofcourse
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Post by lilyofcourse on Sept 8, 2011 11:32:36 GMT -5
I hear everything you guys are saying. It's also been a lifetime since I've been on a real date or had any inclination to go on one. Not sure if I know how any more. But please keep talking. Maybe if he ever does get the nerve to ask me out I'll more ready to say yes. And El I know my idea of Mr. Right wasn't working out. that's why I've been praying that I become the woman I am supposed to be for the man God has on the planet for me. I'm not saying a flat out no. Just wondering in writing about the whole thing. Looking for encouragement. If you please |
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Post by El Conquistador on Sept 8, 2011 12:18:07 GMT -5
I'm not always good at encouragement unless I've been drinking and feeling soft hearted. Most of the time I'm very blunt. Too blunt according to my wife. Please never take anything I say in anyway other than trying to help. That being said, what's wrong with the kind of person you are now? I'm sure there is somebody for you just as you are. I mean damn I was (still am) pretty out there and my person came in the opposite form. Be patient and keep looking. It'll happen.
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lilyofcourse
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Post by lilyofcourse on Sept 8, 2011 12:46:10 GMT -5
The kind of person I was and not so much now but am still working on is not very trusting. And I made choices that were questionable. I wasnt living the way I should. I was petty and childish. I was selfish in a lot of ways and unwilling to see another persons point of view. the guys I chose were all rather good looking and yet they had nothing real to offer. I liked them young dumb and full of well you know. The guys I chose were users and not the kind you settle down with. Fun for a while but then that was it.
And then it hit me. If I kept doing the same things I was always going to get the same results. So I had to change me and become the person I would want to be around. The person God meant for me to be. Instead of looking for the answers out there in the world. I had to look for them here in me.
It probably sounds strange but it's my epiphany and I had to follow it. So I have been working on me. Trying to be a better me. Not really changing me but being a more open to change. It's hard to explain. But if you knew me back then, you wouldnt know me now. And thats a very good thing.
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PK Bucko
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Post by PK Bucko on Sept 8, 2011 12:46:57 GMT -5
My gut reaction was for you to leave this one alone. I figured why lead him on if you have no intention of going anywhere in the relationship. BUT, as I've read a few responses and thought about my own situation (the wife and I weren't exactly each other's type) I realized that there's no harm in giving him a shot. At least you'll know one way or the other at that point.
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lilyofcourse
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Post by lilyofcourse on Sept 8, 2011 13:38:27 GMT -5
My gut reaction was for you to leave this one alone. I figured why lead him on if you have no intention of going anywhere in the relationship. BUT, as I've read a few responses and thought about my own situation (the wife and I weren't exactly each other's type) I realized that there's no harm in giving him a shot. At least you'll know one way or the other at that point. Yeah I know. I keep telling myself that. |
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Sept 8, 2011 13:51:42 GMT -5
So does the foot shorter than you really bother you? For me it would be a total turn off that I most likely could not get past. Then again I am really in no position to give relationship advice based on my past performance ......so feel free to ignore this post  |
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 8, 2011 13:53:22 GMT -5
You said that you have been praying to God for Mr. Right how do you know that God isn't knocking on your door via Church Guy?
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lilyofcourse
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Post by lilyofcourse on Sept 8, 2011 14:02:04 GMT -5
So does the foot shorter than you really bother you? For me it would be a total turn off that I most likely could not get past. Then again I am really in no position to give relationship advice based on my past performance ......so feel free to ignore this post Maybe thats what it is. I've never dated anyone shorter than me. |
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lilyofcourse
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Post by lilyofcourse on Sept 8, 2011 14:02:36 GMT -5
You said that you have been praying to God for Mr. Right how do you know that God isn't knocking on your door via Church Guy? I hear what you are saying. |
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Cj
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Post by Cj on Sept 8, 2011 14:33:26 GMT -5
If he was a foot shorter than myself, he would be a midget (not that there's anything wrong with that) but I'm making a point is that I have zero experience being taller than men at 5'3. But, I can't imagine it being a deal breaker either. PK makes a fair point however. I've given guys a shot when there was no chemistry and regretted it as they wanted to move forward when I didn't, it was awkward to say the least. BUT, this is someone from church, that alone would sway me to at least accept one date and consider telling him how I feel so that he can withdraw the invite.
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lilyofcourse
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Post by lilyofcourse on Sept 8, 2011 15:30:38 GMT -5
Thing is he hasnt invited me any where. But it seems every one in the church knows he likes me. He even talked to my aunt and she called me about him. The music directors wife said something to me about it.
Now the one I would really like to ask me out is about a foot taller than me and he has the cutest smile and I catch him watching me some times and he'll act like he wants to say something but then he doesnt.
Lord I think I just need to leave it alone.
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dakota4600
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Post by dakota4600 on Sept 8, 2011 15:49:20 GMT -5
Lily- I understand the height difference being a stumbling block. But sometimes their caring and personality make it unimportant. And I'll admit to going on a single date with a guy about a head shorter than me and even though he was a nice guy turning down the next invite.
If I had seen my husband before being set up on a blind date with him the answer would have been NO. In fact when he got out of his car at my house I was not very impressed. But we had already gotten to know each other over the phone and by the end of the night I thought he was kind of cute (and there was no alcohol involved). I had also been working on being more open to someone less than my fairy tale image and while he may not look like Prince Charming, he is my Prince Charming.
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domic
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Post by domic on Sept 9, 2011 18:32:34 GMT -5
Lily, I don't think I have any great words of wisdom here other than I think you can be the one to initiate a dinner get together. Guys cannot see the most obvious signals, so the tall guy may have no clue you are interested. My wife arranged our lunch date back in highschool and I had no idea who she even was...twenty four years later we are happy together (took a while to figure out how to do that). Maybe short guy is the one, and you may need to spend time with both before you know. I do think it is something that happens when you're not looking for it though, as things seem to turn out a little different than we expect a lot of the time.
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CD
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Post by CD on Sept 9, 2011 19:47:55 GMT -5
Lily, I'm with the others, and you know I'm up front. What can a coffee date hurt, you just never know, he might be your Mr. right.
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lilyofcourse
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Post by lilyofcourse on Sept 9, 2011 21:43:12 GMT -5
I promise I'm listening.
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Forever Sunshine
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And someone seems to think it actually matters!
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Post by Forever Sunshine on Sept 9, 2011 22:21:24 GMT -5
Hiya, Lily! Do you find anything about the gentleman appealing? Have you ever spoken with him?
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Spellbound454
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"In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends"
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Post by Spellbound454 on Sept 10, 2011 3:58:08 GMT -5
The shorter thing wouldn't bother me......Attraction is between two people and is quite rare, I don't see that its anyone else's business. All sorts of people fit together and its up to them.
However, if there is no attraction (after a period because it can grow)... then you are on a hiding to nothing.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Sept 10, 2011 6:43:20 GMT -5
Spellbound! How lovely to see you here! I do hope all those who are displaced by MSN's closing of message boards will find us here. Always great to find old friends posting! Hope all's well with you and yours, hon. |
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Spellbound454
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"In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends"
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Post by Spellbound454 on Sept 10, 2011 7:50:47 GMT -5
Hello mmhmm lovely to see you too.... I don't really know many people apart from you, Forever, Shirina and Moonbeam but maybe I'll stick around a bit and make some new friends. Most of the MSN posters are tucked away on the various proboards now I think. Its quite interesting because they all offers different things. I quite like politics so might venture into that. |
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Forever Sunshine
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And someone seems to think it actually matters!
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Post by Forever Sunshine on Sept 10, 2011 9:22:04 GMT -5
Spell, you'll like it here I think. There's a great diverse group here scattered about.
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ktunes
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show your world to me...
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Post by ktunes on Sept 10, 2011 14:10:16 GMT -5
life's to short lily...if the tall guy turns you on, initiate a conversation, give the guy the opening, maybe he's the shy type...if he's on your mind, ask him out...
do the same for the short guy, he may be fun to be around...you have nothing to lose...
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Cj
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Post by Cj on Sept 10, 2011 14:46:24 GMT -5
I wish there was a "LIKE" button. I AGREE! ;D
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moon/Laura
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Post by moon/Laura on Sept 10, 2011 14:54:47 GMT -5
Hi Spell! it's nice of you to visit! i like the diversity of all the boards that have sprung up - and as was mentioned, each has their own niche.. for all my DWFM friends, Forever Sunshine is the owner of the "crap" board, whose link is on the msn board right now (until it gets deleted) Lily, if you've talked to the shorter guy and you really feel like you have nothing in common with him, then a date may be a wasted of time. You're the only one who knows that though. If you really want to get to know the taller guy though, ask him for coffee or whatever. |
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Post by frankq on Sept 10, 2011 15:12:30 GMT -5
If God wanted you to date him it would be a done deal. If the guy doesn't do it for you, don't make him think that he does by going out with him for the hell of it. And don't wait for God to answer your prayers in the dating department. I'm sure he's(she's) got plenty of other things to worry about these days. If there is someone you are truly interested in then go for it.
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