How much does a 10 year old cost?

[zibazinski]

My DD started at 9 and she's is 22 and it is JUST starting to taper off. I am so hoping the military snaps her out of it!!! At least I will get months of peace!!!

[swamp]

Later, my kids are 3 and 4, but they're in a few activities so I can add some relevant info.

DS is in the Minor Hockey League Learn to Skate Program. It's about $60 for the season. Used equipment cost me about $100. When he's in teh actual program playing games, it will be about $350 for the season and equipment, while still used, will probably run me about $200 to $300. Despite it just being a learn to skate program, there are parents who have spent probaby $500 on brand new equipment for their 3 year olds.

Both kids dance. It was $210 for each kid for the year, so $420. I just bought costumes for the recital in the spring, that was about $80.

DS will play t-ball in the spring, I think it's about a $25 registration fee, and then I'll have to buy cleats and a glove, which will probably run me $50.

They might be little, but they eat a lot.

I have to buy them whole new wardrobes about every 6 months, but I am also able to get some handmedowns from friends. I buy most of their clothes at Walmart, Target, and Kohls. I don't see the point of designer duds for preschoolers.

The final answer is that kids can be as expensive or as cheap as you want them to be.

[zibazinski]

No kidding. I used to go to the Junior League Scot Shop and get the best stuff BARELY used and sometimes not even used at all for CHEAP!!! I had the best dressed kids in elem school!!!!

[Deleted]

Jan 8, 2011 15:11:25 GMT -5 swamp said:

The final answer is that kids can be as expensive or as cheap as you want them to be.

Well, due to the fact that I would be getting an older kid that I had gone out looking for, I want to be really sure to give them a good quality of life. Not a keep up to the jones' kind of life but one that gives them a good shot at success in life. Designer clothes are not important, but it is important to be able to present with a sense of style and having things fit. I really believe in activities for kids because studies prove that having their own goals keeps kids out of trouble more than anything. They don't want anything to interfere with them getting what they want. And of course post secondary education or training.

[mtshastawriter]

I have a 16 y.o and a 18 y.o son. They can eat DH and I under the table and we are fat people.... Both kids are skinny but can eat. I still don't know where it goes...

[rumples]

We took my nephew in when he was about 11-1/2, so a little older than you're looking at, but there probably isn't a whole lot of difference.

Most people instantly think of the obvious expenditures when trying to decide how much a child costs, but you've also got to think about the increase in your current bills and budget categories as well. In our case, our utility bill increased quite a bit. DN didn't like the dark, so we had 2-3 night lights plugged in all of the time and overhead lights were turned on and off much more than they had been. We also ran the heat and a/c more during the days when he was out of school. We moved to a higher minutes plan on the cell phone to accommodate the calls he made to friends back home (we had moved him from WA to CA). Fortunately, our water and garbage are both flat rate or I'm sure they would've went up as well. Gasoline was an eye-opener, especially after he started playing city sports. Hauling him back and forth to practices and games can get pretty pricey with gas over $3/gallon. Groceries were expected to go up quite a bit (and they did!) because the boy has been eating me under the table since he was a toddler. We also had to start a college savings fund for him since he came to us with nothing but a partial pick-up load of belongings.

As he's gotten older (he's 14 now), some things have gone up and others have gone down. This year, he decided that he'd outgrown his standard uniform of graphic tees and blue jeans so we spent a bit more on back-to-school clothes so that he could have his new uniform of plain tees, plaid shirts and mostly black jeans.

He played football this year at his high school... $100 for "spirit pack" that included shorts and a tee shirt for pre-pad practices, game socks and a game-day polo shirt; $150 transportation fee; $50 cleats; $40 pictures; $60 fundraisers. Pitifully enough, this is still about $150 less than we paid for him to play in a city league during jr. high.
He's now wrestling: $150 transportation fee; $65 shoes; $40 pictures.
Both of the above do not include our expenses associated with attending his games and matches.

On his school orientation day, we sent him with about $200 - $50 to open a lunch account; $65 for pictures; $20 for an elective; $35 for a yearbook pre-order; $15 for a school tee shirt and probably more that I can't think of right off the top of my head.

Still yet... I thank my brother almost daily for having a boy... ;D

[Deleted]

Why did you get your nephew rumples?

[rumples]

His father, my brother, passed away after being really sick for a couple of years and his mother can't/won't take care of him. Definitely not something that any child should have to go through, but he's adjusted quite well.

[Deleted]

My condolences about your brother. And thanks for your take. Your situation is closest to what mine will be.

[robbase]

are you getting a new one or a used one?

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

65.216.150.170/default.aspx

I was looking at the calorie counter stuff and saw the how much does a kid cost part.
Interesting...

[rumples]

Thanks and no problem, later... I'll post more as I think about it. The first post was rather off-the-cuff.

[rumples]

Oh! I looked at the site Chloe posted and it reminded me of something else. Up until this year, DN was staying in what used to be the guest room. We had painted it a color of his choosing, changed the bedding, etc. but it still had the "guest room" furniture in it. DH gave up his office this year and we moved him into the guest room (it has a murphy bed that becomes a desk when closed) and DN into his own room/DH's ex-office. That cost quite a bit because it meant not only new paint and such, but all new bedroom furniture. DN also wanted to change his color scheme entirely when he did it. We were fully on board with it, even though it meant a bit more money spent, because he originally went with his Dad's favorite color (blue), but now wants something more "dark and mysterious" (dark brown). We view it as him finding his own way and we want to be able to support him in doing so. You might want to keep that in mind as you set aside money for future expenditures.

[Deleted]

Jan 8, 2011 20:03:39 GMT -5 @robbase said:

are you getting a new one or a used one?

LOL Used actually. I'm starting with fostering.

[Deleted]

How much will be covered by the program? For instance, i'm guessing most of the kids in fostering situations could us a counselor or some sort? Is this type of thing covered by the program?

I think time is also something you should be looking at as far as 'cost'... I thought i'd have more free time as my kids got older, but spend much more time than i ever thought running them places, and waiting for them, etc... I could be more efficient, and am a bit better with son, as i can drop him someplace, and then run errands or something, but daughter i feel like i should still stay and wait for her (and a foster child might also need 'more' in terms of knowing you are there if she needs you)... so i end up 'spending' much more time... something i hadn't really thought about prior....

[Deleted]

While fostering all of their expenses over and above food and housing are covered by CAS. There is a stipend that will comfortably cover those expenses. So whatever counselling they might need, and 2 activities are covered. However adopting is an option if the planets line up correctly and I get a crown ward that I connect with.

There was a time when I would have resented giving up my time. Hence the not having kids (well one of the reasons). But I am at a different point in life now.

[Deleted]

I don't resent the time, or the money, but it is something that 'surprised' me... ie. i didn't think it through i guess... lol... i know lots of parents who seemed to think, as i did, that as they get older they need you less, when they really just need you 'different'... and so while i wouldn't expect you to be resentful of the time, i just wanted to point out that it takes more than i figured it would... if that makes sense ...

[jenna30]

I have a 10 year old step son who eats as much as I do. We go through several gallons of milk a week.

Luckily, he's not into clothing yet, so he will wear virtually anything/any brand I bring home. He gets a new wardrobe virtually every spring and fall, but it's mainly off-brand clothing.

He's not doing any activities right now, but may start guitar lessons, soon. He has an older DS and Ipod, and we have a Wii as a family, but not too many more electronics. Some of his friends have phones.

The girls in his class are more obsessed with clothes.

[Deleted]

Jan 8, 2011 21:03:51 GMT -5 oped said:

I don't resent the time, or the money, but it is something that 'surprised' me... ie. i didn't think it through i guess... lol... i know lots of parents who seemed to think, as i did, that as they get older they need you less, when they really just need you 'different'... and so while i wouldn't expect you to be resentful of the time, i just wanted to point out that it takes more than i figured it would... if that makes sense ...

I wasn't thinking of you at all when I commented about resenting the time. I was thinking if I would.

[Deleted]

Oh don't worry... it didn't bother me... ...

I am impressed by your willingness to even try this. It can be challenging, but also so worth it. I wish you lots of joy and success...

I was thinking, though, I wonder if there could be a tendency to try to 'make up' with material things/ opportunities in cases like this. I think it would be harder to say no and establish rules/ set expectations when you are coming into parenting in the middle like that... rumples? thoughts?

[zibazinski]

There's a rivalry between mothers and daughters as well as sons and fathers. Nothing you did wrong and probably the best thing for you and your daughter's relationship. I'd have loved to mine on her dad for a few bucks a month but he was a playboy so she and I muddled through as best we could but it was AWFUL!!!!!

[zibazinski]

Foster parents are reimbursed for everything except food/utilities. You can get clothing and school supplies for them. Even birthday and Christmas presents. They don't even have to have their own room anymore. It's a good gig but it has it's pitfalls as well. The GALS I work with say boys are easier than girls (duh.) Read totally the entire file on the child.

[upstatemom]

swamp: don't bother buying cleats for t-ball. As a baseball mom. they are not needed at that age.

[upstatemom]

Late bloomer: I admire you for becoming a foster parent, I hope it is a wonderful life journey for you and the kids involved.

I greatly recommend that you and your new son look into joining the local scouting program. My family had been involved since the kids were in first grade and has given my sons great opportunities and lots of great experiences with my husband and friends. Both boys are on track to earning their Eagle Scout, a priceless accomplishment!

[Deleted]

Jan 9, 2011 10:06:26 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Foster parents are reimbursed for everything except food/utilities. You can get clothing and school supplies for them. Even birthday and Christmas presents. They don't even have to have their own room anymore. It's a good gig but it has it's pitfalls as well. The GALS I work with say boys are easier than girls (duh.) Read totally the entire file on the child.

Here 2 same sex children can share a room.

The big pitfall is dealing with the baggage the poor kids have. But there are a lot of supports for that as well.

[Deleted]

Daphne what do you mean high shool is not important?

[zibazinski]

Same in Florida but years ago, I had a GF who took in a foster child (it was someone she knew) and her son had to move in with his sister to give the foster child a room to himself!! The two boys couldn't share a room!! That was the rules then. Husband of Bf hastily got the basement thrown together as a sort of bedroom for the son. Everyone was okay with the arrangement and it wasn't FOREVER but I can still remember her shock that the two boys couldn't share a room.

[rumples]

Jan 8, 2011 21:59:01 GMT -5 oped said:

I was thinking, though, I wonder if there could be a tendency to try to 'make up' with material things/ opportunities in cases like this. I think it would be harder to say no and establish rules/ set expectations when you are coming into parenting in the middle like that... rumples? thoughts?

Absolutely, there can be. The first Christmas (we took DN in in October), I felt like I had to replace every material thing that the poor kid had lost. Fortunately, I have a really good relationship with my parents and they reigned me in. Material goods were not what he needed right then. It was more important that we were all there - which we were. Opportunities, however, are a different story. We do try to allow him to experience things as often as possible. For instance, he had never had the opportunity to play organized sports. Now he plays whatever appeals to him at the time and we give him what he needs to do so.

As far as establishing rules, etc., we did have a slight advantage in that he had spent a few weeks every summer with me from the time he was 5. The rules didn't change much. About a year or so in, though, he was pushing all of his boundaries to the limit and many times beyond that. We had backed down too many times with the thought of "the poor kid's already been through so much..." and the like so he felt that it didn't matter what he did - there would be no consequences. It was a really hard spring/summer for all of us, but we're all much better off for having gone through it.

[Deleted]

Gotcha!

[kadee]

Later, please, what ever else you do/don't do...DON'T over schedule the child in activities.
My DS & DIL went nuts with my grands, boy 13 - girl 11, and had each of them in at least 3 activities besides school AND Japanese school all day on Sat.! Both schools handed out homework so between that & their activities these kids didn't have hardly a down minute!

Here is a list of some of the things they have been in over the years...
modeling
piano
swim - team competition
tennis
tri-athlon
dance - Hula
tumbling/gymnastics
soccer
grandson runs 13k & 6k races too.

So you can see if you put any of those 3 together the kids don't have time to figure out what THEY want to do or what they are good at!