THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE OLD BOARD

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

1. Tip at least 20%, no matter where you are, no matter what you ate, no matter how good/bad the service was.

2. If the person in the grocery store line in front of you is paying with food stamps or an EBT card, you must immediately cover your eyes and run screaming from the store. If you look at what that person is buying, you'll die. And for heaven's sakes don't comment on it here.

3. If you're not married, get a Pre-Nup. If you are married, get a Post-Nup. If you are divorced, consider relocation to Costa Rica.

4. If you are a working mom, get your butt home and stay with your kids. If you are a SAHM, get your butt to work and stop freeloading. And be sure and post here how your choice is better than everyone else's choice.

5. If you have high interest credit cards, pay off the one that has the highest interest first. Unless you want to pay off the smallest balance one to make you feel accomplished.

6. If you are in a budget crunch, eliminate the following: expensive cell phone plans, trips to Starbucks, eating out, cable, manis/pedis, and golf. Beer, it has been determined, is a necessity.

7. If you don't want people to provide frank and opinionated answers to your questions, don't ask.

8. If you must venture over to the Politics Board, try to avoid calling people of the opposing political party mean names. There are NO moderates, independents or undecideds over there, so no one is convincing ANYONE of ANYTHING.

ANYONE ELSE?

[bobbysgirl]

Jan 6, 2011 21:32:45 GMT -5 @wrongsideof30 said:

I enjoyed your summary. I'd like to see something in there regarding the decision to consider walking away from your house if you are underwater.

How's this?

You are a low crawling bug if you walk away from your mortgage, but you can keep the truck that gets 2 miles a gallon if it has been paid for for 6 years.

[Nazgul Girl]

Darn, I was going to do the walk away from your mortgage one, but I will say that I learned that all Moderators are evil, unless someone is picking on me ! Then, I run screaming to the Moderator ! Right ??

Also, I learned that a lot of people consume more alcoholic beverages than I do. To compensate, I just made my husband & I some kahlua & creams with the last of the kahlua, and put kahluah on the grocery list.

Also, I learned that you should tithe unbelievable amounts of your income to your church, and that you sin if you do not drive your car until it has at least 1,000,000 miles on it. Also, you will go straight to Robot Hell ( Futurama reference ) if you buy a vehicle new.

[tiredturkey]

And don't even think about having kids until you have a gazillion dollars in the bank. And 20-30 rental properties. And maybe not then.

[Nazgul Girl]

Oh yeah, how could I forget those ? Quick, I need to copy all of the posts ( ALL ).

[Poppet]

7. If you don't want people to provide frank and opinionated answers to your questions, don't ask


Hahahaha.

[kinetickid]

Exactly 20% down on your house--put too much down and you have less to invest in the market, resulting in a sub-optimal ROI; put anything less down and you're throwing money out the window each month in the form of PMI. You should also have a low (4%) fixed-rate 30 year mortgage that you pay off early with biweekly payments.

Also, mortgage + insurance should take up no more than 5% of your monthly net income.

Oh, and you should save a minimum of 55% of your income each month.

You need to have your first million--all self-made, of course--by the time you're 29.

Any member of the family 10 years of age or older must have a job, even during the school year. Any kid in the double-digits who does NOT have at least a 10 hour/week job is a lazy, good-for-nothing leech who will end up permanently on welfare.

[kinetickid]

Jan 6, 2011 22:04:37 GMT -5 @tiredturkey said:

And don't even think about having kids until you have a gazillion dollars in the bank. And 20-30 rental properties. And maybe not then.

You should also have a crystal ball that assures you that your financial situation will NOT worsen, even temporarily, in the next 18-30 years of your life.

[pushingit]

9. You will eat cat food in your old age if you don't have 6.5 million dollars saved by the time you're 45.

10. Don't pay for aging parents expenses. It's not your problem if they frittered their money away on things like feeding you, helping you pay for college or paying your car payment when you were a broke 20something. They're adults and on their own.

11. Don't bail your adult children out of financial trouble. If you do you will be broke when you're 80 and they won't have learned good financial management skills so they won't have any money to help you out. Plus, see #10.

12. Gym memberships are for suckers. Go for a walk, cut your own grass, do some sit-ups in your living room.

13. What do you mean you still have a land line?

[pushingit]

oh and don't forget:

14: Adding a 6 pound infant to your family is not justification for moving from your 2 bedroom, 1 bath condo into a 2500 sq ft, 4 bedroom, 3 bath house that you can't afford.

[so1970]

Jan 6, 2011 23:17:46 GMT -5 pushingit said:

9. You will eat cat food in your old age if you don't have 6.5 million dollars saved by the time you're 45. i like this 1.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

If you aren't eating rice, beans, day-old bread. citrus gleaned from your neighbor's tree, and generic dented food purchased with coupons, you're just throwing money away.

[Deleted]

1. If you didn't go to a community college for 2 years and then transfer to a state U., you paid too much for your education.

2. Don't pay for your kids' college. You'll only spoil them and they'll spend all their time drinking and smoking pot.

3. Cell phones and cable TV are unnecessary expenses. People did without them for most of the last century and you can, too.

[cytoglycerine]

• Never ever ever let anyone you aren't married to (parents, kids, friends, co-workers, family members, boyfriends/girlfriends, bosses, pets, etc) know how much money you make or how much you have in the bank - It will only encourage them to try to mooch off you.
  
  
• Never co-mingle assets with a significant other before marriage - they will surely drain your bank account by spending on totally frivolous things and leave you completely penniless
  
  
• Be grateful for the POS job you have - Since you don't get 5,784 other job offers from other companies/employers every single day, you're obviously a crap employee who can't do any better than what you've currently got, so just settle for what you've got and shut your yap.
  

[Regis]

Duct tape can be used to alter any piece of clothing.

[jennml]

*If you are a government employee you are ridiculously overpaid for the mediocre work you do. You should immediately renounce your cushy pension and health benefits, since the rest of the workforce isn't lucky enough to have such amazing benefits. You should be ashamed at how the hardworking, poorly compensated tax payers support your extravagant lifestyles.

[Sam_2.0]

"14: Adding a 6 pound infant to your family is not justification for moving from your 2 bedroom, 1 bath condo into a 2500 sq ft, 4 bedroom, 3 bath house that you can't afford."

Crap. DH and I are just about to do this.....

[swamp]

BMW's appreciate in value.

[hawkeyes2001]

"Beer, it has been determined, is a necessity. "

I didn't learn that here. DBF taught me that when we were working on our budget together.

[The J]

Jan 6, 2011 21:20:33 GMT -5 ❤ mollymouser ❤ said:

1. Tip at least 20%, no matter where you are, no matter what you ate, no matter how good/bad the service was.

2. If the person in the grocery store line in front of you is paying with food stamps or an EBT card, you must immediately cover your eyes and run screaming from the store. If you look at what that person is buying, you'll die. And for heaven's sakes don't comment on it here.

3. If you're not married, get a Pre-Nup. If you are married, get a Post-Nup. If you are divorced, consider relocation to Costa Rica.

4. If you are a working mom, get your butt home and stay with your kids. If you are a SAHM, get your butt to work and stop freeloading. And be sure and post here how your choice is better than everyone else's choice.

5. If you have high interest credit cards, pay off the one that has the highest interest first. Unless you want to pay off the smallest balance one to make you feel accomplished.

6. If you are in a budget crunch, eliminate the following: expensive cell phone plans, trips to Starbucks, eating out, cable, manis/pedis, and golf. Beer, it has been determined, is a necessity.

7. If you don't want people to provide frank and opinionated answers to your questions, don't ask.

8. If you must venture over to the Politics Board, try to avoid calling people of the opposing political party mean names. There are NO moderates, independents or undecideds over there, so no one is convincing ANYONE of ANYTHING.

ANYONE ELSE?

You didn't mention any of the Laws of Humanistics!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If you cannot feed your family of ten an entirely organic, out of season budget for under $10 you are not trying hard enough.

You must drive to 3 different groceries stores on three different days otherwise you will miss all the good sales and spend way too much money on groceries.

If you spend only $10 on groceries a month you must be eating Beanie Weenies and boxed Mac & Cheese

Eating out is cheaper than eating at home because time is money

Eating at home is cheaper than eating out because you pay for garbage food that makes you fat and then you suck up hard working thin taxpayers money to pay for your fat ass medical care.

[kinetickid]

[/quote]

You didn't mention any of the Laws of Humanistics! [/quote]

You're right! I so forgot about that!

[swamp]

If you're fat, you're lazy.

If you're fat, you are the victim of a metabolic disorder.

If you are a SAHM, you love your children more than a working mother.

If you are a SAHM, you are a lazy leech and are setting a bad example for your children.

You should pay for everything with a credit card and pay the bill off at the end of the month.

You should pay for everything in cash, preferably cash stored in little envelopes marked "groceries" "clothes" "entertainment" "pet supplies" "tampons" etc.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

You do not need a home computer for anything. Everyone lives where there is a library close by with free 24/7 internet access for all.

[cytoglycerine]

Jan 7, 2011 12:53:09 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

You do not need a home computer for anything. Everyone lives where there is a library close by with free 24/7 internet access for all.

Don't forget that the library also has all the best DVDs and newly released books in ample quantities - all free to rent with absolutely no waiting lists! So no need to buy books or movies either!

Tee hee!!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I wanted to rent Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs from the library. 16 holds on the first SIX copies returned!

[kinetickid]

Jan 7, 2011 12:45:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

If you're fat, you're lazy.

If you're fat, you are the victim of a metabolic disorder.

If you are a SAHM, you love your children more than a working mother.

If you are a SAHM, you are a lazy leech and are setting a bad example for your children.

You should pay for everything with a credit card and pay the bill off at the end of the month.

You should pay for everything in cash, preferably cash stored in little envelopes marked "groceries" "clothes" "entertainment" "pet supplies" "tampons" etc.

(Y)

[swamp]

Jan 7, 2011 13:00:24 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I wanted to rent Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs from the library. 16 holds on the first SIX copies returned!

Eh don't bother. The movie sucks.

[Taxman10]

Jan 7, 2011 11:38:35 GMT -5 swamp said:

BMW's appreciate in value.

only if IiI owns them!!!

[KaraBoo]

Jan 7, 2011 13:02:25 GMT -5 swamp said:

Jan 7, 2011 13:00:24 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I wanted to rent Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs from the library. 16 holds on the first SIX copies returned!

Eh don't bother. The movie sucks.

Agreed!!