Okay, what to do

[DVM gone riding]

zib--I do hope you are able to deal with the feelings this brought up and not bury them again--for your sake and your kids. its possible she might have done it to apologize, but then I fail to see any justification for it. I have seen other women who where the other women when they were finally able to come to terms with what THEY had done to a family want to figure out how to try to make amends. If you think that was a possibility I might consider writing a short note telling her you are past the past, don't really care what she has to say or her side of things and ask her to please leave you and your daughter alone. I could just see her letter to Dear prudence asking what she should say to the women who's husband she cheated on with and dear Prudies response to not drudge up old hurts and to leave you alone!!

[Clever Username]

When life hands you lemons, sometimes it's a reminder that a simple curl of lemon rind is the International Bartender Association's official garnish for the French Martini.

Mix up a pitcher for your best friend and share my favorite Irish toast.

To my Friends, may God shower them with blessings.
To my Enemies, may God turn their hearts.
Or if He doesn't, may He turn their ankles (so I will know them by their hobbling).

very apropos

[NastyWoman]

Jul 11, 2011 15:12:10 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

Because I am not always as classy as I should be, I would consider ignoring her friend request, but also sending her a short message along the lines of:

DD & I have decided that as a general policy, we will not "friend" any of the women the Ex banged while he and I were married. Please understand that this is not personal. Its just that if we were to make one exception... Well, you understand.
-Zib

I would be so tempted to post that on her wall (except I would DD out of it).

[gawgagranny]

First of all, hugs to you, zib...what a yukky situation!

Second, dvm does have a point in that this may be some strange way of this woman trying to apologize to you somehow. I have been on the receiving end of that kind of apology in that after my XH broke up with the bimbo he left me for, I ran into her in a fast food place & she apologized for all the pain she had caused me & my sons....seems that she caught my XH cheating on her, too!

[HappyCat]

I was in a similar situation with my first nightmare husband. The woman pretended to be my friend before, during and after her relationship with him. I always bit my tongue and smiled because my daughters are first in every situation. However, in the "after" stage, she sent me an email and I let her know in no uncertain terms that she was never my friend nor would she ever be. That was before FB...and I haven't heard from her since...but I keep waiting for the day for her to ask me to be friends on FB. That's just how she is and I know it will happen. Trust me...I am a cat lying in wait and my response will not be as generous as Shanendoah's.
With that being said...you are probably better off to just ignore her.

[happyscooter]

Never wrestle a pig. You both get muddy and the pig loves it.

[seriousthistime]

Maybe it's true that the slut wanted to apologize to you. But if you send a friend request on Facebook, you have an option to send a message with the request. Seems like she could have indicated that within the friend request.

I love shanandoah's response, but see all sorts of inappropriate crap posted on Facebook. Don't people realize the image they are broadcasting to the world? And with the gazillions of friends a lot of people have, they can post any inappropriate thing on your wall.

I personally would relish hearing an apology from my ex's mistress/wife/exwife. I would have a few choice words to say to her. I would especially love to hear her admit that he cheated on her too. Somehow I can't rise above the hope that he did cheat on her. But I think it's the other way; she cheated on him.

[sealy]

Knowing me I would be so tempted to say something in a private message but everyone is right that will open the door for her to reply.

Also taking the high road shows your DD your strength. It's so tempting to be vengeful but being the bigger person is the way to go.

Hey! What about sending a private message and then blocking her so she can't reply to you. Nah. Just ignore her.

s

[kent]

Zib, I don't know anything about how to block people on facebook (I don't use it) but I'd sure as heck figure it out asap.

As far as any response to her - don't dignify her conduct by participating in any fashion,

[kent]

Jul 17, 2011 12:02:09 GMT -5 sealy said:

It's so tempting to be vengeful but.....

Before embarking on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.

[bring in the new year]

Okay, I'm mean & vindictive.

Post it on the wall.

You're not doing it for her - she knows what she is and she's so good with it she friended you. You're doing it for the wife of whatever married man she's currently bonking.

FB is a social network and the purpose of a social network is to get out useful info. Some wife is going to be very happy with you. Not to mention how will she ever learn if there's no public humiliation?

(You should probably listen to other people)

[zibazinski]

She's actually been divorced and is now remarried. Their cutesy pic is on her FB page so I can "see" that she isn't after anyone else's man now. Why doesn't she just "eat shit and die?" Ooh, that FELT good!!!

[bring in the new year]

Zib, sweetie, if she didn't honor your wedding vows, why would you assume she'd honor her own?

[zibazinski]

There IS that aspect. I hadn't thought of that. Mmmmm

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

You should probably block her, or she might be able to see your page just because she has friend requested you; depends on your privacy settings.

[skubikky]

Jul 19, 2011 3:32:39 GMT -5 bring in the new year said:

Zib, sweetie, if she didn't honor your wedding vows, why would you assume she'd honor her own?

In the end, Zib's ex fooled around with many women...the only honor that matters to a wife is her husband's....sadly those women were just a symptom.

[zibazinski]

True enough and the fool still hasn't found anyone to make him happy. Well, DUH, it's because YOU are the problem not these women.

[cronewitch]

Jul 12, 2011 8:33:31 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

busymom, Regie-- . As bats#$t crazy as she was those kids still lost their mom.

My brother's ex died in a traffic accident. I sent her children condolences on facebook, it was the first time I used it. They loved their mother even if nobody in our family liked her at all.

[herekittykitty]

Jul 11, 2011 15:12:10 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

The classy thing to do would be to just ignore her request. Or even hit the "block" button so that she is completely blocked from your profile and can't send you any more requests or even private messages.

Because I am not always as classy as I should be, I would consider ignoring her friend request, but also sending her a short message along the lines of:

DD & I have decided that as a general policy, we will not "friend" any of the women the Ex banged while he and I were married. Please understand that this is not personal. Its just that if we were to make one exception... Well, you understand.
-Zib

[moneymaven]

She contacted both DD and myself and wants to be facebook friends!!!

Wow, a classless whore. I wish I could say I am surprised. Something about sitting behind a computer makes people write and do stupid things. Don't be one of those people - freeze her out and block her on your account and DD's. I am so sorry you have to deal with such a low life.

[zibazinski]

It's just I tried so hard to put it behind me. It's one thing that he boinked all these nameless women in God only knows what states but that these were local women who PRETENDED to be my friend while laughing at my naivete behind my back. Tons of other people knew about it, saw him at various restaurants and bars with these bimbos and said nothing to me-ever. Only AFTER the divorce and then wondered why I was angry at them.

[reeneejune]

There are no limits to the audacity of some people. I briefly got back together with a high school boyfriend about 5 or 6 years ago, but dumped him when it was clear that he was lying, mooching, and had given me an infection. (thankfully the infection was nothing scary or lasting, just another sign that he was a sleeze ball, literally) He sent me a friend request a couple of months ago with a "gee it's been a long time, we should catch up" message. My coping strategy? I talk to the computer screen. I tell it everything I'd like to say to that person. Then I hit the nice little ignore button while saying "not only no but HELL NO!" and then hitting the nice little block button. I felt better, he had no opening to say anything further to me and all is right in my world. And FWIW, I strongly recommend keeping your FB privacy as private as it can get and keeping your friend list pared down to just people you'd actually talk to in real life.

[zibazinski]

The tramp was able to access our FB because of DD's sperm donor. Sperm donor is on DD's FB and she and I are on each others.