Catching Fireflies July Controlled Spend Thread

[MittenKitten]

Well our governor and the state came to an agreement so next week sometime the state should reopen!

ACK! I have too much to do. I have to make salsa for my sister's party tomorrow AND I have to get everything ready for DS#1s family b-day party for Sunday, bake cake, clean, get food ready, shop....

Oh and need to go over to DGMs AGAIN so DF can fix her toilet. Then we will head to Target.

DS#1 is loving camp but they are supposed to go on the water trampoline today, the last day of camp AND we are having thunderstorms. It looks like it may be breaking up so I hope he gets to go. He was really looking forward to it. I may also see if I can get him into a second session of camp this summer. It was good for him and I was so happy for him to be away from screens for most the day!

Gotta go attend DD

[dakota4600]

Ugghh! I had a long post typed up and it got lost in cyberspace.

Yesterday was a spend.

DH is cleared to do pretty much anything he wants.

Muttley- We learned that lesson the hard way too. Now we do yogurt and fresh fruit if dinner is delayed.

Shan- Make the apartment manager talk to MIL about the potential to get kicked out. maybe she would take that more seriously. Tell the manager you aren't her guardian and they need to inform her not you.

Smartstart- Glad you have an exit strategy.

[ses]

Muttley--the situation with your MIL could be very serious. When I accidentally run low on my diabetic meds (which happens every year because of the long waits for an appointment) I call my doctors nurse explain that things are bad and could the Dr. prescribe just enough until the appointment. Or perhaps her pharmacist could call the doctors office about a temporary refill. If the medication is not maintained and stabilized until the appt. her blood tests will not be an accurate picture of her condition when she does see the doctor.

[muttleynfelix]

ses - Her sister is working on her. Urgent Care facilities won't see her and I don't know if she has really been to this doctor since she moved here a year ago. Her sister is trying to get her just to go to the ER and say I'm dizzy but she won't do it. Honestly, she won't take her diabetes seriously.

[mizbear]

Not taking the diabetes seriously throws a whole nother wrench in the works.

Grandmother is in the hospital- her COPD and CHF are acting up plus she has pneumonia. I am forbidden to go see her due to my asthma.

Niece much better.

HUGS for everyone.

I am on 2 medicines for this infection now. Aye-yi-yi.

Cleaned all day. Need a nap.

[spruby]

shan - your MIL sounds almost exactly like my Mom - from temperament to living situation to knee issues. So my advice comes from that experience:

My Mom was horrid to us - sweet as pie to caregivers. She lived in an income restricted senior facility where you had to be able to take care of yourself and fell constantly. They often would call and explain that she would have to move if she could not take care of herself.

She needed knee replacement surgery and had both done (needed both) BUT did not do the rehab. Knee surgery is incredibly painful and the rehab is hell. After the released her from the nursing home where she did rehab I had nursing and health aides come in for more rehab and help for her (bathing etc). The facility allowed it because she was post-op - check to see if her place will allow it for a period.

She did none of the exercises unless they were there and sat as much as possible. In the end she basically made herself as immobile as she was before the surgery. Because of that she kept falling and had to leave and move to a nursing home.

Why do I tell you all this? Because there was a plan for her to move near me prior to the surgery and afterwards that was impossible. So the only good suggestion I have is please DON'T commit to a solution until you see how the surgery and rehab goes. Especially anything that commits you financially.

I'll go back to lurking now.

[spruby]

Apparently I have more to say.

I know it won't make a difference Muttley - but 10 years ago last month (a year before I met him) my now DH didn't take the warning signs of diabetes seriously and got home - double locked his apartment door - was dizzy - fell and hit his head. 36 plus hours later firemen broke down his door - took him to the hospital where he was in a coma for 2 weeks (blood sugar level in the thousands) and miraculously just as they were discussing moving him to a nursing home because he would likely never come out of a coma - he came out of the coma with no brain damage. Not sure why urgent care won't see her - but at some point someone needs to just take her to the ER if she won't go willingly.

ses - can you book your follow-up a year ahead? one of the reason I switched to and love Kaiser (not an option for you) is because I can see a doc when I need too. Before then it took forever to find an endocrinologists and another forever to get an appointment.

[muttleynfelix]

Spurdy - They said because it was a chronic condition she needed to see a doctor (at least the Urgent Cares run by hospitals in town). The Family Medical Walk in clinic won't take her secondary insurance. Maybe I should just say we will pay the bill if she will go.

I think she is suffering from some depression. She says she doesn't know anyone, but everyone at church asks about her and asks her to come to stuff. Anyway, yes we all know it is serious and her sons are about to go apeshit on her if she doesn't go soon. Shoot, my mom will probably go apeshit on her next weekend if I tell her what is going on. Of course my mom would do it in a very nice way that might work. ANyway, I didn't mean to hi-jack shanen's MIL problems with mine.

DH got paid for a job he did in april. It is enough to get us somewhat caught up on finances. He was hoping to spend it on a yard roller, but after talking about our overspending the last two months he agreed we needed to get caught up and agreed to put it off. Hopefully, he will contact the guy he does the contract work for and see about doing some drafting. That would pay for the yard roller and for DS to take a Kindermusik class this fall. We'll see what happens.

I don't know about you, but i am thankful that it is the WEEKEND!!

[sapphire12]

Evening all -- another beautiful weather day. Today was a spend day. I walked plenty. My orthopaedic surgeon wants to give me an ice machine for post surgery. The guy told me it was colder than an ice pack. I politely told him no thank you. We'll see if my doctor changes my mind on Wed. His assistant might. I'm not having it.

SES -- The camera case does not belong to my mom.

muttley, shan, miz -- hugs to you all and anybody else.

MK -- Yeah for MN gov opening soon. Was DS able to get on/in the water trampoline. That sounds like that would be good physical therapy for my knee. Hmm.

sheila -- hope you were able to have Relay for Life. The first time my group scheduled it, we were stormed out. Bummer. I was so looking forward to it.

[startsmart]

Amen Muttelyn! TGIF!

I had my chiropractic visit today and feel better. Like I got my head on straight again

The dogs are doing well but sometimes Nixon makes me crazy. He is constantly running into my legs and nearly tripping me. He likes to sleep on the footstool under my desk when I'm working but claws at my legs to get up there. Ow!

I'm decorating and moving stuff around - lots of picture frames to move - and cleaning this weekend. I'll be glad when things get a little more "done" around here.

[ses]

spruby--I only WISH I could schedule a year in advance! Appointments are ONLY made when the next months calendar comes out. I can be put on "the list" for the next month if I call before the calendar is out and get a call to schedule once it is out. I for a call on July 12 for the August calendar and the earliest date I could get is August 25! Every other medical office I deal with schedules a year in advance. I can't understand why appt's that are regular; monthly, biannually or annually, can't be scheduled and fit the call-in, irregular appt's scheduled around them.

It makes me furious when the doctor says 6 months and the prescription is 6 months, yet the clinic can't manage 6 months. there is always the "emergency" temporary prescription during the sixth month!

Off my soapbox.

[midjd]

Drive-by... 6 NSDs, 9 SDs and today is gonna be a spend, too (and probably tomorrow). But we're headed to Chicago to see Soundgarden so I don't care! See y'all Monday!

[mizbear]

I only have one doctor that makes appts 1 yr in advance- and as nice a person as my gyn is- I would really rather skip that one!!


My neurologist makes appts 6 months in advance for meds checks.
And my PCP makes 1 yr appts for physicals- but I never make it that long (the record is 3 months)

[azmom]

I missed the Friday happy hour accountability thingy but I am still at:
7CSD/NSD
I have spent a total of $398.96 from last Friday to yesterday. Only $157.89 was on gas and groceries.... If you want to see the complete breakdown you can on my blog under the oh so fitting title Busted Budget! We are eating buttered noodles for lunch today and somehow they taste delicious!! There will be a bunch of pasta served in the next five days....

I had a 5k race this morning. For the first time since February I was able to get under a 10 minute mile and I feel great. I really hope my body and legs are recovered. I start training for another half marathon on August 15 and I would like to start and stay healthy. I have an ambitious goal of finishing under 2 hours. My PR for a half is 2:13! Anyhow today I finished in 29:42 making that a 9:38 mile average. I am pleased and a little surprised.

Muttleyn: I know this from a while ago but I think you did the right thing sending your DS to bed. It happens. As toddlers they will go through spurts of eating like crazy to you wondering if they are getting enough to eat because they refuse to eat. One thing I have learned is when kids are hungry they will eat. I have no objection to sending my kids to bed without dinner (not for grounding purposes) but they either eat what is served or wait until the next meal is served. Oh and if dessert happens to be served that night, too bad you didn't eat dinner! It's just a rule. If they are hungry after or in between a meal they are free to grab from the fruit bowl that I always have the counter or make themselves a PB&J. It works great for our family.

Hugs to all who need them!

[startsmart]

Getting so so much done today! It's wonderful.

My vacuum cleaner stopped working thanks to a frayed cord so I had that replaced - $16 isn't bad for the new cord. Then back home to keep cleaning and chat with my friend who is coming out at the end of the month. I still have plenty of cleaning to do.

I also rearranged my closet so Nixon's crate fits in nicely.

Next up:
touching up paint in the bathroom
sealing windows with caulk
watering the backyard
emptying the fridge and cleaning

[3catslady]

14/25 NSD/CSD, 1 SD, 1 EOD, I got $10 in gas today but I was to get $20. I will wait until tomorrow and get the other $10 because I was on "e" and I needed to get home. The little gas station outside where I work has gas at 5 cents off a gallon on Sundays so I will get more tomorrow when I go to Church. It will not count as a spend because I have gas budgeted and I am way below budget on that expense. Still have not gone to PH or BK but that is okay. With what I have here and what the kids have given me, I can wait until I need it.

[DVM gone riding]

today was a true nsd but friday kind of broke the budget a little, I get two more csd for Thur and Sat.
The HP movie was worth the spend, now if I could just get lunches under control. Shoot now that I think about I can't remember if I spend money on Thur or not!! Guess there is a reason you are suppose to mark the calendar daily. I think I will take that one for a nsd too. Now I need to go back and look and see where I am at, next month I am putting stars on the calendar as I go along!

update 5nsd/4csd I am doing better yet somehow not as on budget as I should be hmm guess I need to keep track of where the cash is going.

shanandoah I don't feel let down, very behind at times but not let down. ;D I am going to get better at this next month!

[3catslady]

15/25 NSD/CSD, 1 SD, 1 EOD, I got more gas and 2 bottles of soda so it is a CSD but it is still under budget for groceries.

[zippy478]

Thursday and Friday were both NSD! YAY me! Saturday was CSD and Sunday was a spend day. I had to get DD some underwear as she's started potty training and while there, I picked up a slip and slide for the kids. With the heat we've been having it was worth the $9 to let them play in the yard.

So I'm up to 3/15NSD. Today I'm hoping to rack up another one

[sheilaincali]

Friday- our relay was moved due to rain. After setting up all the tents and sites they decided in the middle of what I am sure was a monsoon to move it to the field house at the university. We all got soaked and the grass at the park is all torn up. Mom (the committee chair) has a meeting with the city this morning to "discuss the situation at the park" Hopefully it won't be too expensive to fix. The field house was ok but attendance was WAY WAY down from last year. Last year we netted $105,000 after expenses. This year we have around $71,000 in donations and that's before we factor in expenses. We could easily be at half of what we did last year

Saturday- went to a family reunion/birthday party for my grandma. Dad paid for our block of hotel rooms and the Uncles all split the cost of dinner according to a formula based on number of family members. It was great getting to see all of my cousins that I haven't seen in years again. Got to meet lots of new people. Had family pictures done as Grandma's present. In the last group photo my aunt is pregnant with one cousin that is a senior in high school this year. Needless to say- a new group photo was way overdue.

My brother had to teach so he couldn't make it so 16 of the 17 cousins were there and all 14 of the great grandkids were there.

In two weeks is the family reunion for my mom's side of the family. Even more people will be at that one and those relatives are way more wild

[singlemomky]

Update: 12 CS

[shanendoah]

Update: 7 CS + 6 NS = 13 of 27.
I've used all 4 spend days I allow each month already. Somehow, I think we're not making goal.

Muttley: Please, hijack away! I need to think about things other than my issues every once in a while. MIL has diabetes too, but it is completely controlled by diet. In fact, tests now show that she doesn't have diabetes. We have to keep telling the MDs not to tell her this, otherwise, she WILL have it again by the time of her next appt. You can not give that woman leave to eat sugar or that's all she'll eat.

spruby: Thank you for the words of advice. Right now, it seems a choice between emotional stress and financial stress, and we're better at handling the latter. However, I'm pondering another option at the moment. Need to do some research before presenting to DH.

MIL: So, like it or not, she just can't afford to have a caretaker come in. So we decided to go over there ourselves 3 times a week or so. Yesterday we went. DH did homework in the lounge near her apartment and I steamed cleaned a bad section of her carpet. (Exciting, huh)
DH was able to get her in the shower ok, but getting out of the shower, she doesn't want to listen to his instructions, and insists on doing it the way that result in her falling. So, she ended up on the floor (softly, though, because DH was there to make sure she didn't go down hard) and then we both lifted her up.
We decided that she is paying us $100/month (as opposed to the $150 a week we were looking at with caregivers). We have to make sure we value our time, too.
Of course, though, she calls us last night to say she fell standing up from her chair. We drive up there, only to discover the woman who never locks her door, who has fits at us if we lock her door, locked her door, and we didn't have a key. She says she can't crawl to the door to unlock it. SO, we drive home, get the key, drive back.
We get her up off the floor. She tells us to lock her away. We have to explain that 1) she can't afford it and 2) most places won't take her for another year, anyway (she's 64).
So then she tells us to take her home. Umm, no. Not that she can get in our house anyway. There are stairs. She tells us to send her to her sister. Again, no, we've already had that conversation with her sister (actually, her sister very clearly said to Charles that he was not to his mother off on her).
We told her that if she can't get up from the recliner, she can't sit in it and actually moved it away from the TV. We raised her desk chair and she can sit in that and wheel around the apartment.
We have some things we need to do- her no slip mat in the shower slips, so we need to find some of those permanent no stick things to put in. We need to look for a wider and deeper shower chair so that she can pivot on it, making getting in and out of the shower easier.
She's missing the rubber seal around her vacuum cleaner, so we need to replace that (and then vacuuming will actually accomplish something).
I'm tempted to look in to renting her a wheel chair that she could manuever around the whole apartment in, at least until the surgery. We'll see about that.
She should call and make an appt today with a pulmonologist for a breathing test they need before surgery. Hopefully we can get all that done soon and have the surgery in August.
Sadly, I think best case scenario for us, right now, is for her to go in to surgery and not make it. It is a terrible thing to think and feel, but its the truth.
We will never be able to have a family while she is alive and living near us. Because she varies from being a toddler to a teenager on a minute by minute basis.

Anyway, if they won't do the surgery, or even if they do and it comes out well, I think I'm going to check in to the cost of assisted living in Las Vegas. COL there is a lot less than in Seattle, so there's a chance she could afford it there. (There are places here that are just outside her budget.) She would then be near her sister and her sister's family, but we wouldn't be dumping her on the sister to take care of, because she'd be in assisted living.
And there's still the chance that no place would take her until she's 65. I don't know, but I'm going to do the research and then present to DH.

[sapphire12]

Another NS day yesterday. Saturday a friend of mine took me to MCD and I got a mango pineapple smoothie. OMG. That was delicious. The good and bad thing is the small size is $1; tempting to be a daily treat as we have temps approaching 100 this week.

shan -- hugs to you and your family. I hope things improve soon.

SES -- interesting that the doctor only schedules the month before, but doesn't write a script to cover you. Can you schedule your appt for the month before your script expires?

FSA -- Oh how I wish there was no use it or lose it component to this program. I've exhausted my funds already since I have been going to PT. Oh well, I'm thankful to have the money to pay for PT and surgery, even if it means I have to curtail my zealous savings goal.

[azmom]

My BABY DD is FOUR today! How is that possible. Some of you celebrated her 1st birthday with me!!! We are celebrating in true WIR style. We are going to a free gymnastic class and then to redeem their free kids meal from Chick-Fil-A courtesy of VBS and then to the Library to check out a movie. Home to play with her birthday gift she opened this morning (we had a breakfast celebration because Mr. C works late tonight) Then we will all make her cake together and read her a couple of special books!!!
I have to get dressed the kids are closing in on me

[muttleynfelix]

azmom - Congrats to your baby girl (or not quite baby). BTW where do you get a free gymnastics class? I'm trying to find a toddler gymnastics class and the only one I can find through a City or Y nearby is for ages 2 and up and then it is $18 a class.

shanen - Hugs what a pain. I hope you get something figured out.

[startsmart]

really tired today, everything going on has just caught up to me and seems to be beating me over the head all at once.

Yesterday was a spend day, I picked up spray paint, a new Wii fitness game and a few t-shirts. Saturday I got a lot done but now I'm too tired to think straight.

[ses]

Sapphire--Medical scheduling stinks. Dr tells me "I will see you in six months", I am thinking "Don't tell me, tell front desk." The front desk says "call and set up an appt the month before." I call the month before and get the "she has an opening in six weeks" So I jump on it. I have started calling about two months ahead and they will tell me they dont have that months' calendar up yet but they will put me on the list. When that months' schedule comes up they call me to set a specific time. Usually out at least 4-5 weeks. I think when I go in August I will ask to be put on the Feb list right then. Maybe I will be one of the first they call.

I don't think I am OCD, but this really gets my goat. I don't understand why that can't set an appt with the understanding there may have to be a slight adjustment at times. At least she is very good at being timely.

[mizbear]

shan- The DRIVE brand of home medical products has quite an assortment of shower benches. Sometimes they are a little higher, but I really like the quality. You can get transport chairs, rollators (rolling walker), or combination rollator/transport chairs at WAGs for around $100- $150 (prices vary). These only weigh 18-20 pounds. I have a no-slip mat in my tub with scruffies on it that I purchased at Wally World for $12. Stays put beautifully. I totally get your frustration. Getting ready to head to see over to DGM/DM- hopefully someone has done the dishes... ( )

azmom- Congrats on your race time and on DDs birthday!

ses- It's not OCD. My doctor's schedule the appts and then call x days before (most call the day before) as a courtesy reminder.

[muttleynfelix]

ses- That is annoying.

So the house next to me sold for $72.5k at auction today. I'm glad we refinanced last year. That would have killed us this year. It would have probably appraised for $170k...at least $160k (which is what our home appraised for, their house had 100 sq ft more, 2.5 baths vs 2, 4 bed, vs 3 and a bonus room, but lacked a garage and is 5 ac vs our 10 ac). Now I am dying to know who bought. There is a bit of work that has to be done before they can move in....well, they could move in first, but why would you? I hope someone bought it to live in it rather than an investment. I kind of actually want neighbors...now watch whoever bought it will suck and I'll wish I didn't have neighbors again. LOL. Oh well the houses are far enough away that if they truly suck it won't really matter.

[shanendoah]

azmom: Happy birthday to your baby! (As my mother's youngest, I know she will always be your baby, even if that pesky age thing doesn't agree.)

Relief: It looks like luxury assisted living in Vegas is $1,000/month cheaper than most assisted living in Seattle. And I found a place the is income restricted, 62+ and will bill insurance if she gets to a point that insurance would cover... Don't actually know what their monthly costs are, but right now she doesn't meet their income requirements anyway. (Easily fixed by selling her condo and no longer getting rent, but still.) Running the numbers at the luxury rate, assuming she sells the condo at a little less ($2k) than the going rate to her current tenants, I think we could afford almost 3 years in the luxury apartments. By that time, she's likely to need more than basic assisted living, but she should also qualify for medicaid, as her only income will be disability and SS. (And her SS won't be high. She was a CNA who had to stop working in her early 50s due to a car accident.) Qualifying for medicaid opens other options.
I have emails in to a couple of the other properties to find out what their monthly fees are.
I still think we need to get her the knee surgery first. She'll need more than just assisted living in less than a year if we don't. And it would be nice if we could use the proceeds from selling the condo to get her a full set of dentures instead of subsidizing luxury living.
But, if we can make it a few months (and WA state has a months long eviction process, especially if we put up even a little bit of a fight), I think we can do this.
Her sister may not be super happy about it, but the MIL is at a point where assisted living is becoming less of an option and more of a necessity, and she just can't afford it here. She can in Vegas.
Emailed DH details, but he's in class and very likely won't see it until after he picks me up from work tonight. But then we'll have all the numbers in writing to look at as we discuss.
Yay for a plan.