Just go to the #*@! doctor already!

[midjd]

Do any of you have this problem?

DH has two minor health issues (I think he needs glasses, and his knee gives him some trouble). He bitches and complains about it, I say "well go see a doctor!" and he either brushes it off or says "oh, there's nothing they can do."

My philosophy is, either see a doc or quit effing complaining! I'm not making an appointment for him, he's a big boy.

Any of you run into this? Why are some people so doctor-phobic?

[wodehouse]

well, they can certainly help with corrective vision!

[Deleted]

I thought this was going to be another Samuel Jackson thread ...

[busymom]

Yup. It's called "being a man".

My DH has done the same thing. Won't go to the doctor unless it's something big. (Last crisis was him having a kidney stone in the ER!)

[Deleted]

I don't know. After a certain point in your life, you know what is worth and not worth going to the doctor for.

Bad vision? Go to the doctor although cheap reading glasses might solve the problem if it's just the over 40 thing. (No lectures on eye exams. I have glaucoma and go four times a year; it was discovered in my 40s.) Knee? Meh, I don't know. I think I must have broken my toe on one of my midnight treks to the bathroom. It's swollen, blue, etc. But I've broken toes before and know they don't do anything. If I needed pain killers, that would be different but I don't take painkillers. So what's the point.

So I think it's really part of being older. Co-pays have sort of deceived us about the cost of medical care. By all means, don't ignore something serious. But you don't have to go to the doctor for every little thing (including a broken toe that hurts . . . ).

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Every time he complains, respond with "When is the doctor's appointment you've made for this problem?" Refuse to otherwise acknowledge or discuss the matters.

[kgb18]

Yup. It's called "being a man".

That pretty much sums it up.

When DH gets so much as a cold, he'll lay on the couch and literally moan. But he won't take anything.

About two months after I had DD, I got the flu. I felt horrible all day, and I told DH I felt really awful. After DD went to sleep that night, I took my temperature and discovered it was 101. He said, "Oh, are you really that sick?"

[zibazinski]

Contrast that to DF who makes a doctor appt if he farts.

[midjd]

LOL Oped & KGB! Busymom, he had kidney stones a few years ago... didn't get things checked out until he was vomiting in pain and in the ER.

His daytime vision is fine, but he has been complaining of "halos" while driving at night. The knee thing is left over from high school (football injury)... he had surgery on his ACL about 5 years ago, but the surgeon who did the job has a TERRIBLE reputation. I suspect the reason he doesn't want to see an orthopedist is because he's going to hear that he needs a follow-up operation. No idea what the big deal about the opthamologist is, though...

Molly, I'm taking your approach

[debtheaven]

This message has been deleted.

[el1504]

Molly- I am going to use that line next time DH complains about something! Fantastic

[resolution]

I guess this makes me bad I but I have made an appointment for mine. I have also called him at work and given him the Dr.s name and phone number because I knew he would forget to bring it to work. When he is hurt he wants to feel taken care of and I don't mind doing it because it makes him feel better. Right now he has physical therapy for his injury and I do ask him every night before bed if he did his exercises, because the first week he didn't do them enough and got chewed out by the physical therapist. My biggest concern is he will half-ass his exercises and then end up with a lingering injury instead of getting completely better.

[MN-Investor]

Thank God for our dentist. My DH is fine with twice yearly dentist appointments. I knew DH's blood pressure was higher than it should be, but DH kept procrastinating going to the doctor. For about a year the dentist decided to take blood pressure readings of his patients. They took my DH's blood pressure and it was so high that they stopped his appointment right then and told him to go to the emergency room! So DH came home and got me and we went to urgent care. They gave him a few meds and had him set up an appointment with a doctor. Now, with prescriptions for three meds, DH's blood pressure is fine.

[Deleted]

I'm like this too.

[Gardening Grandma]

DH is exactly the same way. When he complains to me about something, I ask "Are you going to get it checked out?". When he invariably responds, I will if it doesn't go away", I figure it isn't all that serious. When it bothers him enough, he'll make an apt. I'm got gonna nag him about it.

[dragonfly7]

DH is this was regarding doctors. I usually just make a general preventative appointment for him every couple of years and make him go. However, I'm this was about mental health people, so it goes both ways.

[cronewitch]

I seldom go to doctors, first I don't know what it might cost. I have new insurance so would need to figure out what doctor was covered. I pretty much think things will change and most will get better without treatment. I will go for things I know they will do that I can't like pap test or mammogram but not for minor pain or even major pain if I know what caused it and that it won't do harm waiting. I for example will go if I break a bone but not twist a ankle even if it hurts, if it wasn't less painful in a week I might go. I already know they would only give pills or want to operate and if I am not sure it needs surgery I will wait to see.

My boyfriend will go for anything at all even a cold, if he wants time off work when he had to work all the time he would make a doctor appointment and have the doctor write him an excuse when he wasn't sick.

[midjd]

Last night after I told him (at an increased volume and pitch ) to quit complaining or make a damn appointment, he got really quiet for about 5 minutes, then said he'd make an appointment next week. So I guess that's something.

TT, I had a similar experience... going from eye-doctor to eye-doctor with no end in sight. My eyes felt like they were on fire and extremely sensitive to light. After about my 5th specialist, it turned out I had an extremely rare amoebal infection caused by contaminated contact lens solution. It was only because there had recently been a lawsuit filed against the manufacturer that they considered the possibility (I couldn't understand why they were so intent on finding out what contact lens solution I used!) Took nearly 2 years to get rid of it, and quite a few others who were infected lost their sight.

So maybe that experience has shaped me, because there is no way I'd hesitate to make an opthamologist appointment! Hopefully DH can make it in within a week or so.

[gooddecisions]

I'm in the same boat as your husband. I don't complain, though my husband probably thinks I do and is also frustrated that I don't see a doctor. I already wear corrective lenses or glasses and that doesn't improve my night vision for driving. I'm too young for cataract surgery and lasik surgery could make it worse. As far as my knee, that's a 10 year old injury. I saw a doctor when the blow out first happened. The doc said it was an MCL tear which doesn't involve surgery and it should improve on its own. It didn't and I'm pretty sure a few years of marathon training on pavement wiped out the ACL on that same knee, but I deal. He gets irritated when he sees me rolling on the floor to realign it. But, I seriously don't complain, he does.

[lisaa]

Jun 19, 2011 13:17:02 GMT -5 midjd said:

TT, I had a similar experience... going from eye-doctor to eye-doctor with no end in sight.

This.

There are two many bad doctors out there, who have no interest in getting to the bottom of things and figuring out what is wrong, if it takes more than 5 minutes of their precious time. Unless it's life threatening, I don't go to the doctor. This is because of my experience of having to go to 6 different doctors to get any help the time that it WAS life threatening.

[gooddecisions]

..."Those halos don't mean angels are blowing kisses. They are real signs of glaucoma or increasing pressure on the nerves due to cerebral spinal fluid. "...

Not necessarily. I do actually see an eye doctor every 1-2 years and have for 20 years. I also see halos at night and never once has my doc told me I have "glaucoma or increasing pressure of the nerves due to cerebal spinal fluid". According to my doctor, I just have bad vision. Seeing a doc doesn't necessarily solve anything.

[Cookies Galore]

Jun 18, 2011 21:43:15 GMT -5 kgb18 said:

Yup. It's called "being a man".

That pretty much sums it up.

When DH gets so much as a cold, he'll lay on the couch and literally moan. But he won't take anything.

About two months after I had DD, I got the flu. I felt horrible all day, and I told DH I felt really awful. After DD went to sleep that night, I took my temperature and discovered it was 101. He said, "Oh, are you really that sick?"

Same as BF, what a baby! When he gets a cold and starts complaining, I feel like a broken record. "You have a cold, it'll linger for 7-10 days, it's okay.... you have a cold, it'll linger for 7-10 days, it's okay...."
But yeah, I have to remind him to take something as well. He likes to point out that I'm "always" taking sick days. I took two in each of the last two years, so I don't follow that logic.

[Deleted]

We have urgent care centers (I know there's a separate dscussion on this) in our area and it's been great for DH. I understand not wanting to call the doc, get an appointment a few days out (at which point the probolem may be gone), hang out in the waiting room half an hour past your appointment time, hang out in the exam room another 20 minutes, spend 5 minutes with the doc, then go to the pharmacy and wait for the prescription. Heck, that's why I won't go to the doctor, either!

Last time he had a cold that kept getting worse, he called his doctor on a weekend and they told him to go to the ER. Like that was gonna happen. The Urgent Care place diagnosed it as bronchitis and we were in and out with a prescription in less than an hour. Now at least we have an option when it's bad enough that it should be seen by a doctor but we don't want the hassle of the regular doctor or the ER.

[Deleted]

I actually HAVE glaucoma as opposed to what some of you are talking about. There are no halo effects involved. It is a narrowing of the peripheral vision due to the high eye pressure pressing on the optic nerve. It creates tunnel vision, in other words.

My eye doctor told me that if I ever saw a symptom of glaucoma, it would be too late. (By the way, mine is under control.)

That doesn't mean your DH doesn't need to go to the eye doctor. But let's quit calling it something that it isn't.

[gooddecisions]

...."I actually HAVE glaucoma as opposed to what some of you are talking about. There are no halo effects involved. It is a narrowing of the peripheral vision due to the high eye pressure pressing on the optic nerve. It creates tunnel vision, in other words...."

Thank you for sharing that. I'd only heard of night vision halo effects being associated with cataracts or vitamin deficiency-- or, like my doc says- just bad vision. And, was surprised to hear it's a sign of glaucoma.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I had lasik around 2003. One of the side effects can be halos at night.