Wedding . . . WWYD?

[Deleted]

Ok, I have been the lousiest sister ever but we reconnected maybe three or four years ago. We disconnected because they moved to NM (I am in AL) and my Christmas presents were always about six months late.

The reconnection has been nice. She came out here two years ago, and we scheduled our until then tentative wedding so she oculd be there. (I said it would be awful if we got married after she was gone, and my soon-to-be DH agreed.) We went that fall for a trip Albq for the balloon festival. Last summer she came and spent a week with us along with one of her daughters. We provided housing and my car.

So in about a month I am supposed to go to her oldest daughter's wedding. I started counting where everyone would have a bed (I don't do sleeping bags), and she said she had reserved a room for the week using American Express Points. She said it was a lot cooler in Albq as opposed to Las Cruces, and there were a lot of wedding activities going on even after the wedding.

I have budgeted $500 for this trip beyond air fare and the KitchenAid mixer that was their present ($250 or more).

Do I try to reimburse her by feeding her and her family often or just saying I want to give her X dollars toward the room and let everyone pick up the check? We are staying in a Best Western Premier suite thanks to her American Express points.

I don't want to cheap out, but I did set a budget. I asked her early on (when I was figuring how much to budget) if I should plan for a room or if I could stay with them. She said stay with them. But I didn't know that involved a hotel . . . which is great. Like I said, I don't do sleeping bags.

Any suggestions on how to handle this?

[Mardi Gras Audrey]

Jun 17, 2011 21:33:16 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Ok, I have been the lousiest sister ever but we reconnected maybe three or four years ago. We disconnected because they moved to NM (I am in AL) and my Christmas presents were always about six months late.

The reconnection has been nice. She came out here two years ago, and we scheduled our until then tentative wedding so she oculd be there. (I said it would be awful if we got married after she was gone, and my soon-to-be DH agreed.) We went that fall for a trip Albq for the balloon festival. Last summer she came and spent a week with us along with one of her daughters. We provided housing and my car.

So in about a month I am supposed to go to her oldest daughter's wedding. I started counting where everyone would have a bed (I don't do sleeping bags), and she said she had reserved a room for the week using American Express Points. She said it was a lot cooler in Albq as opposed to Las Cruces, and there were a lot of wedding activities going on even after the wedding.

I have budgeted $500 for this trip beyond air fare and the KitchenAid mixer that was their present ($250 or more).

Do I try to reimburse her by feeding her and her family often or just saying I want to give her X dollars toward the room and let everyone pick up the check? We are staying in a Best Western Premier suite thanks to her American Express points.

I don't want to cheap out, but I did set a budget. I asked her early on (when I was figuring how much to budget) if I should plan for a room or if I could stay with them. She said stay with them. But I didn't know that involved a hotel . . . which is great. Like I said, I don't do sleeping bags.

Any suggestions on how to handle this?

Or maybe, your xmas presents were 6 months early?

In all seriousness, I wouldn't worry about reimbursing her. It sounds like she is happy you are coming and thinks that it was well worth her points. I am currently in the midst of planning a wedding where a substantial portion of the guests will be from out of town. I have already anticipated that there will be folks who cannot afford a hotel and the ones that I REALLY REALLY REALY want there, I am planning to pay for a hotel room for/use points for. I would not expect them to reimburse anything and am delighted that they can attend. Their presence is more than enough for me...

[el1504]

What about getting your sister a voucher for a resturant or something to say thank you for putting you up? Not "repaying" her but a thank you gift...

[Deleted]

I think reimbursement is the wrong word, but it might be nice to take your sister and her family out for a nice meal at some point during the wedding festivities. (Unless that would be throwing a curve ball in their plans - with lots of out of town guests and last minute details for the wedding, your sister may be scheduled to death. If it looks like an extra dinner would send her over the edge, then wait until your next visit, or maybe send her a spa gift cert or something to help her relax after it is all over)

[happyscooter]

In addition to a GC to a restaurant to be used after you leave, (Or else it will be treating you to a meal), make up a basket or goodie bag. A few bananas, apples, raisins, nuts, gum, candy, etc... that she can snack on during the days before the wedding.

[crockpottin]

I don't think you need to reimburse her, but some sort of "thank you" gift would be good. Since you were probably going to give her a wedding gift anyway, maybe you could kill two birds with one stone and give her something a bit more generous than you originally planned. For example, if you were planning to buy her a stand mixer, maybe splurge and get some of the extra attachments too.

[crockpottin]

Oops-I just read to OP again, and realized that the OP is going to her niece's wedding, not her sister's, and the sister is paying.

Reading comprehension fail

In light of that, I agree with previous posters-a gift card would be nice, or maybe one of those edible arrangement things, if that's something she would like.