finnime
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Post by finnime on Dec 15, 2019 14:07:58 GMT -5
That stinks. In Maryland you just have to not have quit, and to be looking for work, to qualify for UE. I guess if you do something egregious like set the office on fire or absolutely refuse to perform any of your duties at all, you can't collect, but generally it's no problem.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 15, 2019 14:21:22 GMT -5
You can't be fired or quit. It can be impossible to prove you were laid off cause companies know if they filed you were fired they don't have to pay. Nebraska is at will so they can fire you for pretty much anything.
Then you must attend several group job counseling sessions and a individual session. You must attend workshops at your local UE office.
You must apply with five DIFFERENT employers each week. So if I applied for five UNMC jobs only one would count.
This has resulted in companies getting flooded with unqualified applicants because I gotta keep my lights on. It just has to be full time for it to count for me.
One job has to be thru the UE website. DH was never able to collect last time because their site kept crashing and after multiple 2 hour phone calls was told tough titties.
I'll never apply again. Thank God my dad started the restuarant back up. While he still needs to look for another job and it'll be a tight squeeze we can keep afloat much better this way and my dad is much more reasonable and flexible than the UE office.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 15, 2019 19:02:46 GMT -5
We made it 48 hours before the wallowing and "I lost the best thing that ever happened to me!" phrase was uttered. In front of me. In front of the children.
I'm out. I will do what I must to keep the house afloat and I am hell bent on having myself a good birthday on Friday (I'll use my restaurant earnings for it) and making sure the kids have a good Christmas.
He can just go and rot. I've been trying to be the best and supportive spouse ever and he shit on it. He better step up tomorrow or he's going to end regretting those words because I may grant his wish and leave him alone.
I get being upset. I get being angry and I get panic. I do not get wallowing. We have children put on your damn big boy panties. This isn't about you anymore.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Dec 15, 2019 19:03:58 GMT -5
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 15, 2019 19:10:44 GMT -5
He's also turned dad down twice already for hours because he is "too distraught" to work. I'm beyond pissed. He doesn't go out on Tuesday like he says (we're closed Monday) and he can go wallow at his mom's. There she can coddle him. It's not like he'll miss me apparently because I'm not of value.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2019 19:17:56 GMT -5
Distraught? Distraught WTH? He's too distraught to work? Distraught doesn't pay the bills. A meltdown in front of the kids. At Christmastime. Swell. He needs an early Christmas gift of leather goods: a belt in the mouth and a boot in the rear. So help me, he'd better not make me come up there
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Dec 15, 2019 19:21:43 GMT -5
NomoreDramaQ1015, you don't deserve any of this. Nor do your girls. He's got to get a grip and move his butt to work.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 15, 2019 19:40:11 GMT -5
It's rather sobering to realize my place in the universe after all I have done for him lately.
I'm not exaggerating when I say I'd sell plasma and dance on a pole if I needed to for the kids. I've put my mental health and my physical health on the line for my paycheck and health insurance because it's what you do.
The doctor took my BP when I was still working at the hospital, looked at me and asked if I had considered quitting. I told her I had but not until I signed the dotted line where I am at now because I couldn't do that to my family.
He can't even fake it for my holiday party. I had to remind him we were sitting with my boss. Hopefully it went unnoticed and if it didn't I will be honest.
He can't even work 4 hours Friday or today.
I don't blame him for losing this job. Yes he gave them rope but I've suspected this was coming for a long time. I would not be surprised if the business closes and only his supervisor gets to keep her job by moving.
I absolutely blame him.for the narcissistic way he's handling it. So I am done. I don't rank high enough to matter so that means I don't have to care about him. I'll put my energy where it does matter the girls.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2019 19:43:07 GMT -5
Hey. Wait just a damn minute. What he said just registered, He just lost the "best thing" that ever happened to him? WTH are you and the kids? Second best? I'm outraged on your behalf. Besides the leather goods, he needs to get warts and ugly toenail fungus. No need to feel sorry for him; it sounds as if he feels plenty damn sorry enough for himself.
Dammit.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 15, 2019 19:50:46 GMT -5
I am not sure if the kids registered what he said but I sure as hell did. I was going to give him a day but after that and finding out he flaked on dad this evening I am over it. He needs to be a man instead of a man child for once in his life. He's learned nothing from what happened in 2015 and still cannot understand why I was so angry and deep down I still haven't really forgiven him for it. And sorry I am spilling al my dirty laundry on here. My BFF was supposed to come over today for a play date and I really wanted to confide in her but the weather prevented that.
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ners
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Post by ners on Dec 15, 2019 19:59:41 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2019 20:04:46 GMT -5
And sorry I am spilling al my dirty laundry on here. My BFF was supposed to come over today for a play date and I really wanted to confide in her but the weather prevented that.
You don't need to apologize. We can all be your BFF right now because the weather doesn't get in our way. Yanno, I understand his hurt, frustration, embarrassment, panic, all of it. But I don't understand why he can't/won't haul his butt to work or why he can't/won't keep his mouth from harming the people who (should) mean more to him than anything else on earth. Why do I think that his mama will agree that it's all about him?
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finnime
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.
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Post by finnime on Dec 15, 2019 20:05:53 GMT -5
Vent away. If it helps, it's good.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 15, 2019 20:23:52 GMT -5
And sorry I am spilling al my dirty laundry on here. My BFF was supposed to come over today for a play date and I really wanted to confide in her but the weather prevented that.
You don't need to apologize. We can all be your BFF right now because the weather doesn't get in our way. Yanno, I understand his hurt, frustration, embarrassment, panic, all of it. But I don't understand why he can't/won't haul his butt to work or why he can't/won't keep his mouth from harming the people who (should) mean more to him than anything else on earth. Why do I think that his mama will agree that it's all about him? No they've both told him to ask dad for help or get a job at McDs. I'm pretty sure his dad would have choice words if I told him about DH being too distraught to work 8 hours this week. Which may come up in conversation if I find DH wallowing when I get home tomorrow.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2019 20:29:12 GMT -5
Glad they've made it plain that he has to work. That's a good sign. I hope that tomorrow morning he gets up determined to find a job, any job, to tide him over.
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Post by empress of self-improvement on Dec 15, 2019 21:21:55 GMT -5
Want to give me twenty minutes alone with him? We are the same age and I have NO problems telling him what he needs to hear. I've been through five jobs this year and however much I want to wallow and shit, I can't. I have a disabled husband depending on me to feed, clothe and generally keep his ass alive. Just like he has 2 little girls depending on him as well as a wife who needs a partner, not a liability. I'm sorry Drama.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Dec 15, 2019 21:50:34 GMT -5
You don't need to apologize. We can all be your BFF right now because the weather doesn't get in our way. Yanno, I understand his hurt, frustration, embarrassment, panic, all of it. But I don't understand why he can't/won't haul his butt to work or why he can't/won't keep his mouth from harming the people who (should) mean more to him than anything else on earth. Why do I think that his mama will agree that it's all about him? No they've both told him to ask dad for help or get a job at McDs. I'm pretty sure his dad would have choice words if I told him about DH being too distraught to work 8 hours this week. Which may come up in conversation if I find DH wallowing when I get home tomorrow. Does that mean ask YOUR DAD for help? I know you sometimes work for your dad, but he needs to help himself. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Everyone here knows you are an amazing wife and mother.
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CCL
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Post by CCL on Dec 15, 2019 21:52:05 GMT -5
Want to give me twenty minutes alone with him? We are the same age and I have NO problems telling him what he needs to hear. I've been through five jobs this year and however much I want to wallow and shit, I can't. I have a disabled husband depending on me to feed, clothe and generally keep his ass alive. Just like he has 2 little girls depending on him as well as a wife who needs a partner, not a liability. I'm sorry Drama. You're an amazing wife, too. I don't know how you ladies manage it all.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 9:05:47 GMT -5
Too distraught about losing his job to work. Wow.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Dec 16, 2019 9:42:59 GMT -5
Wow, drama, I'm so sorry! First, I can't believe he didn't jump at the chance to work hours at your dad's restaurant. When I lost my job, if I had a restaurant job basically waiting for me, I'd have shown up even if I wasn't scheduled to try to get more hours. Second. I know he's the father of your kids and your husband and you have a lot of history with him. So I just want to say I admire you for not immediately kicking him out when he said what he said about losing the best thing that ever happened to him. I don't think I could have been as calm/rational as you were in the moment. Hugs. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, and I hope you manage to at least have (had?) a fabulous birthday celebration.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 16, 2019 9:44:50 GMT -5
I must have put the fear of God into him by leaving to go across the street last night because he called to apologize for his behavior. We still have to talk and while I am at work is not the place to do it because I have some choice things to say to him. Mom was right I need to not hold my punches if he's going to learn from this time around. And yes I was talking about working for my dad CCL. That is what my family does for each other. I could always count on my great uncle taking me back if I needed it, I may not have gotten a lot of hours but he would always bring me back on. However dad did say if this is going to be DH's behavior that he's not going to keep the offer open forever. He'll give him a pass on Friday and Sunday (we had my company party on Saturday) but he's not going to have DH pull a Bob (my brother) on him. I want DH to recognize how incredibly lucky he is that my dad restarted this. I was sure to tell my mom that because if she hadn't we'd be in serious trouble and looking at having to fight with the UE office. I also subtly suggested *I* be made assistant manager if Bob and DH are going to be a couple buttholes. Dad and I work great together so if he wanted to fire the lot of them and bring on just me and Gwen I would not complain.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 9:59:42 GMT -5
Mom was right I need to not hold my punches if he's going to learn from this time around. I agree with your mom. Maybe it isn't "fair" to bring up anything that happened in the past, but his behavior isn't "fair," either. If there are things that are still eating at you, do bring them up. Skirt around nothing.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 16, 2019 10:19:08 GMT -5
K came in 4th (out of 5) in ninja competition on Saturday. But her vball team won all 3 games and she did see playing time in game 2. We missed a practice so I wasn't sure how much, if any, time she'd get. We're learning bout the coach's standards and expectations since this is our first year with her. K wants to do the next ninja kid comp in March. I told her we'd need to see about vball and she said ninja is more important than vball. So now I know how to prioritize.
C came in 7th of 8, I think. He was either 6th or 7th. The comp conflicted with his vball, so we'd told the coaches we'd be missing. His team lost all 3 games. Ouch. Kinda glad we missed that.
Dh and I got a bunch of Christmas shopping done. There's a Target run still to go. I'm hoping to do that tomorrow.
Tonight the kids and I are buying a tree. On Sat. we organized the living room so we've got room for one.
So schedule: Today: buy tree; get kids to vball practice; feed them dinner at some point and get homework done. Tues: get K to vball by 7am. Work. Go to funeral for Andy. Do the Target run and hide presents before getting the kids home. Mom's picking the kids up. I think she's getting them to ninja class and then Culver's for a school fundraiser.
Wed: Work late. Pick up K, then C from chess (assuming they're meeting); dinner and decorate the tree. Thurs: get K to vball by 7am. Work. Pick up kids and go to ninja class. Home. Dinner. Homework and decorate the tree if need by.
Fri: work. Get kids.
Sat: vball games at 10 and 11, on the opposite sides of town. We'll divide to conquer.
Home from work until the 27th. I may work from home to finalize the rosters. If so, I'll track the time. It's the end of the year and Payroll really needs those rosters. It's an hour per daily roster, at most. We'll see.
But there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 16, 2019 10:21:18 GMT -5
Wow, drama, I'm so sorry! First, I can't believe he didn't jump at the chance to work hours at your dad's restaurant. When I lost my job, if I had a restaurant job basically waiting for me, I'd have shown up even if I wasn't scheduled to try to get more hours. Second. I know he's the father of your kids and your husband and you have a lot of history with him. So I just want to say I admire you for not immediately kicking him out when he said what he said about losing the best thing that ever happened to him. I don't think I could have been as calm/rational as you were in the moment. Hugs. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, and I hope you manage to at least have (had?) a fabulous birthday celebration. I will with or without him. Same with Christmas I think taking the kids over to mom's and then not interacting with him for the rest of the night (after all he was mourning the best thing he ever had) shook something loose. I didn't engage, try to make it better or let him hold us hostage in the house with his attitude, all things I have done in the past. If he wanted to wallow he could have at it, I was/am done with it. I will come back to the table once he's put on his big boy pants.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Dec 16, 2019 12:36:36 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2019 12:54:30 GMT -5
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 16, 2019 13:11:14 GMT -5
Wow, drama, I'm so sorry! First, I can't believe he didn't jump at the chance to work hours at your dad's restaurant. When I lost my job, if I had a restaurant job basically waiting for me, I'd have shown up even if I wasn't scheduled to try to get more hours. Second. I know he's the father of your kids and your husband and you have a lot of history with him. So I just want to say I admire you for not immediately kicking him out when he said what he said about losing the best thing that ever happened to him. I don't think I could have been as calm/rational as you were in the moment. Hugs. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this, and I hope you manage to at least have (had?) a fabulous birthday celebration. I will with or without him. Same with Christmas I think taking the kids over to mom's and then not interacting with him for the rest of the night (after all he was mourning the best thing he ever had) shook something loose. I didn't engage, try to make it better or let him hold us hostage in the house with his attitude, all things I have done in the past. If he wanted to wallow he could have at it, I was/am done with it. I will come back to the table once he's put on his big boy pants. I'm angry for you.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 16, 2019 13:32:34 GMT -5
Hey just popping in to say hi!!!
Hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there for the Holidays!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 16, 2019 13:38:27 GMT -5
Hi, Carl! I was thinking the other day that it had been quite a while since we've had a Carlie fix.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 16, 2019 15:17:19 GMT -5
Hi, Carl! I was thinking the other day that it had been quite a while since we've had a Carlie fix. Aaawwww , she is doing well. She is loving her nursing schools, friends with everyone. She is growing too fast 😢 And off course we went overboard for Christmas and her birthday being so close... I am afraid to say how much my wife spent on her between November and December to not wake the YM demons (my card has been revoked a long time ago anyway). I will post a pic once I remember which website I used last time...
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