raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 14,767
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 12, 2017 12:57:03 GMT -5
Stayed almost 3 hours late tonight to meet a deadline. DH works late all the time, but I always feel like I can't. He handled everything great tonight and the kids were all happy when I got home. I just feel like I am stuck in this space of being a crappy mom and employee. I need more time for work AND more time at home. I guess I just need to accept that as my reality for now I just hate feeling like I am not giving everything 100%. Something always suffers. I struggle with this all the time. I think a lot of it is personality, although I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist. It's probably a lot of confused expectations though. I remember wondering how I would make things happen at work when I couldn't just stay until it was done everyday, but I still assumed that I would get back to that performance/commitment level, which I never have. I rarely believe praise because I know I'm not putting in enough effort to deserve it, and I've walked away from positions and projects because I can't give enough and feel like I'm failing horribly. Except when I can look back on those experiences I'm realizing that I wasn't failing, and that my boss' meant what they were saying. When I look back on why I left sales now I realize that I was that I was actually pretty good at what I was doing, and if I had just tweaked my expectations of myself and the position that I could have turned it into something amazing--or at least something that paid amazingly well. That all said- now when my brain starts down the path I walk myself through a half dozen scripts of why I need to just keep trying and accept that my mediocrity is more than good enough in almost all cases. I also remind myself that I used to beat myself up for not trying hard enough at work before I had kids, and that I'd probably do the same to my parenting skills even if I were a stay at home mom. Which is usually when I start wondering if I should be medicated, but that's another topic.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,414
Member is Online
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Aug 12, 2017 13:00:43 GMT -5
Imposter syndrome. Read the book the empress had no clothes.
I was like Charlie Brown with Lucy when I read the first page
"That's it!"
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lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 11:26:56 GMT -5
Posts: 5,684
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Post by lurkyloo on Aug 12, 2017 13:27:59 GMT -5
Belated gift suggestion: Look for soft smash racquets on amazon (foam) and add some balloons for batting around. Great for all genders...although obviously you can only buy pink balloons for girls and blue for boys Sam: When I get frustrated because I'm not perfect and don't have the energy to do everything, I just blame my husband for not doing enough housework. Easy peasy.
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yogiii
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 19:38:00 GMT -5
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Post by yogiii on Aug 12, 2017 16:22:45 GMT -5
You are being ridiculous. I asked because I am buying the present for a boy. You sure like to try to cause conflict. I mean why not just say "my daughter likes these trucks". I guess it is more fun to take offense to simple questions. :rolleyes: Almost never, actually. Just in special cases. No, that was super bitchy. The same thing could have been conveyed in a more diplomatic manner.
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Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
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Post by Pants on Aug 12, 2017 17:40:26 GMT -5
Almost never, actually. Just in special cases. No, that was super bitchy. The same thing could have been conveyed in a more diplomatic manner. You seem to have misunderstood me. I wasn't saying I wasn't causing conflict, I was saying that this was, indeed, a special case. in such special cases, I give myself license to be as bitchy as I want. Thanks for for your input.
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whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Aug 12, 2017 18:21:34 GMT -5
Almost never, actually. Just in special cases. No, that was super bitchy. T he same thing could have been conveyed in a more diplomatic manner.You must be new here
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Sam_2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:42:45 GMT -5
Posts: 12,350
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 13, 2017 14:28:31 GMT -5
Aubree Grace's 4th birthday today. Thank you all so much for all of your love and support over the last 4.5 years ♡♡♡
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
Joined: Dec 20, 2011 6:07:45 GMT -5
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 13, 2017 14:45:46 GMT -5
<<<<< BIG HUGS >>>>> to you and yours Sam_2.0
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Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
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Post by Pants on Aug 13, 2017 14:48:51 GMT -5
Aubree Grace's 4th birthday today. Thank you all so much for all of your love and support over the last 4.5 years ♡♡♡ Happy birthday, Aubree. Hugs Sam.
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taz157
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 20:50:06 GMT -5
Posts: 12,852
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Post by taz157 on Aug 13, 2017 14:56:51 GMT -5
Aubree Grace's 4th birthday today. Thank you all so much for all of your love and support over the last 4.5 years ♡♡♡ Happy birthday Aubree! ((((Hugs)))) to you and your whole family.
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econstudent
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 15:36:44 GMT -5
Posts: 2,288
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Post by econstudent on Aug 13, 2017 14:59:26 GMT -5
Aubree Grace's 4th birthday today. Thank you all so much for all of your love and support over the last 4.5 years ♡♡♡ Happy birthday Aubree. ❤️❤️❤️
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dee27
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 28, 2016 21:08:12 GMT -5
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Post by dee27 on Aug 13, 2017 16:20:12 GMT -5
Hugs, Sam.
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tcu2003
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 31, 2010 15:24:01 GMT -5
Posts: 4,944
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Post by tcu2003 on Aug 13, 2017 17:13:17 GMT -5
Happy birthday, Aubree, and hugs to you, sam. 💜
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NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,481
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Post by NastyWoman on Aug 13, 2017 18:11:32 GMT -5
Aubree Grace's 4th birthday today. Thank you all so much for all of your love and support over the last 4.5 years ♡♡♡ Aubree you were, and always will be, loved. Keep watch over your parents as they will never forget you.
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TheOtherMe
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 14:40:52 GMT -5
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 13, 2017 18:19:21 GMT -5
Happy birthday Aubree and hugs to Sam and her family.
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suesinfl
Senior Member
Joined: Jun 9, 2011 18:02:27 GMT -5
Posts: 2,765
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Post by suesinfl on Aug 13, 2017 19:14:35 GMT -5
Happy birthday Aubree, you are very loved. Hugs Sam and family.
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swasat
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 13, 2011 9:34:28 GMT -5
Posts: 3,735
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Post by swasat on Aug 13, 2017 20:52:13 GMT -5
Sam_2.0, like I always say, you are an awesome and a very inspiring woman. Lots of hugs to you and happy birthday to Aubree.
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steph08
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 13:06:01 GMT -5
Posts: 5,463
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Post by steph08 on Aug 14, 2017 7:05:21 GMT -5
Lots of hugs to sam and family. Happy birthday Aubree.
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andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 30,560
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 14, 2017 8:43:46 GMT -5
Happy birthday, Aubree. Many hugs, Sam.
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andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 30,560
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 14, 2017 9:09:07 GMT -5
Thing 2 went back to school today. Yay! I needed her out of my house. Now maybe my electric and grocery bills will go down.
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Sam_2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:42:45 GMT -5
Posts: 12,350
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 14, 2017 9:56:32 GMT -5
I may just cry. That project I stayed late to do on Friday wasn't right, and now I get to completely redo it Happy Fucking Monday.
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andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 30,560
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 14, 2017 10:00:27 GMT -5
That sucks. Sorry. Mondays suck as it is. Then to have to do all of that over again is even worse.
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ners
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 16:21:18 GMT -5
Posts: 6,507
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Post by ners on Aug 14, 2017 11:45:37 GMT -5
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sbcalimom
Familiar Member
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 21:27:25 GMT -5
Posts: 890
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Post by sbcalimom on Aug 15, 2017 2:04:43 GMT -5
Big hugs Sam!
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WholeLottaNothin
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 15:19:25 GMT -5
Posts: 1,721
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Post by WholeLottaNothin on Aug 15, 2017 10:15:32 GMT -5
We received two letters in the mail from Roggie's school district that they are covering the cost of all school supplies and the cost of breakfast and lunch for all students. Knock me over with a feather. I'm not complaining, I'm just surprised. Now I won't get snarky post its sent home when he decides to go to school and eat a bagel after already eating a bagel at home. I will only get snarky post its for other things.
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andi9899
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 6, 2011 10:22:29 GMT -5
Posts: 30,560
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 15, 2017 11:01:56 GMT -5
They started that here too. It's for elementary and middle school students. Of course they start it after my kids are grown.
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MJ2.0
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
Posts: 10,972
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Post by MJ2.0 on Aug 15, 2017 11:07:44 GMT -5
with the high-ass property taxes in my town, they could afford to do the same and give everyone free lunch.
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Deleted
Joined: Jun 1, 2024 20:24:04 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2017 11:37:39 GMT -5
I was on WIC one year and older son got free lunches. That was nice. Just found out lunch prices at both the kid's schools went up again this year, but I still think it's cheaper than packing so I try to encourage it as much as possible. Older son is at a private school now and they aren't subjected to any of the dietary constraints of public. He ate hot lunch every day last year and loved it. This is a kid that would never eat hot at the public after maybe 2nd grade.
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quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
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Post by quince on Aug 15, 2017 12:54:47 GMT -5
I am virtuously not renewing my subscription to a spinning magazine so we can save up for school lunches for my eldest next year. Still irritated at the collared shirt/ironed slacks dress code for a public school though. For a 5 year old. Blah. Navy and white. Kid is going to be wearing mismatched shades of navy blue shirt and pants because I am not dressing my 5 year old in a white shirt daily.
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Deleted
Joined: Jun 1, 2024 20:24:04 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2017 12:58:28 GMT -5
I am virtuously not renewing my subscription to a spinning magazine so we can save up for school lunches for my eldest next year. Still irritated at the collared shirt/ironed slacks dress code for a public school though. For a 5 year old. Blah. Navy and white. Kid is going to be wearing mismatched shades of navy blue shirt and pants because I am not dressing my 5 year old in a white shirt daily. Our school is Navy and White too, but they allow Khaki pants, so DS just has one white shirt/Navy pants set. Mostly he'll wear navy/khaki. He's a teenager and putting him in white is still a bad idea!
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