How much should I expect to spend/gift?

[Deleted]

I was asked this past saturday by my cousin to be the best man at his wedding this september. I did say yes and also that same month (9/4/11) one of my wife best friend is getting married and we are both in the wedding party.

Anyway I am kinda playing with a spreadsheet trying to figure how much I will need to contribute and spend, so far my wife and I agree on about $500-$1,000 or so since this is about what she spend on her cousin wedding last October.

Besides maybe
- bachelor party
- tux rental
- guys outting (either bowling or playing pool)

I don't see what else. God, I really went easy on my best man, he did not have to spend a dime or throw me a bachelor party. I want a redo darn it

Anyway, anything else a best man should do? I've been in like 6 wedding parties (between my wife and I over a dozen) but only as one of the groomsmen's.

First time as a best man, so a bit nervous about the $$$...

[Deleted]

Seems good to me. Maybe a present if you want to be nice.

[tloonya]

Close your eyes and spend whatever it takes.
In future you can skip a few weddings to pay up for these 2.
Trust me - if you agreed to something like a wedding - you are doomed.
So instead of worrying how much to spend - just take out your cc and keep charging.

After when bills are due - see what you can give up in your life to reimburse yourself for these parties.

Seriously it is not a valid question at all!
Some people are throwing weddings without thinking about anyone else...they want you to have it 'black tie' and telling you where to rent your taxido because it might look cheap next to the others...
Some people are throwing backyard wedding and happy if anyone shows up with a bottle of cheap liquor.
So what are yours?

[Deleted]

I think the Best Man needs to
1. show up for the wedding and rehearsal on time and sober
2. carry a flask in his pocket, should the groom require a little liquid courage to say I Do
3. monitor the grooms alcohol intake so that he isn't hungover at the wedding or drunk before pictures (after pictures, you can stand down)
4. give a toast that is appropriate for an audience that may include small children and/or your grandma.

That's all that is required as far as I am concerned. At a (godforbid) dry wedding, the list could probably be trimmed further.

Bachelor parties, stag nights, suit rentals, gifts, etc are all nice yet optional expenses subject to your time, budget and interests.

[tloonya]

/Bachelor parties, stag nights, suit rentals, gifts, etc are all nice yet optional expenses subject to your time, budget and interests. /

Ever lost a friend over being cheap'o?

[Deleted]

No. Hence the term "friend."

[azphx1972]

my wife and I agree on about $500-$1,000 or so since this is about what she spend on her cousin wedding last October.

I'm not sure if that's a good gauge to go by, especially since you guys are still in a lot of debt. You should establish & look at your budget, determine your priorities, and then figure out how much you can realistically afford to gift each month/year without derailing your financial plans.

ETA: Also, I assume your cousin is asking you to be best man more for your emotional support than financial support. And if you felt that you couldn't give as much as you would want to given different financial circumstances, I'm sure he would understand if you told him so. As long as you're being honest, it's the thought that counts IMO.

[tloonya]

you guys are still in a lot of debt?
So what if they will get some morw debt?
At least they will have friends and fun!