|
Post by Elusions of Grandeur on Apr 19, 2011 15:57:10 GMT -5
I'm back, I know I haven't been on the board much since it moved, but I suspect that will change given my looming unemployment.
I am trying to determine... what to do about my future. Any of it. All of it. I feel so lost right now.
The fiance and I have been working on eliminating payments/debts - but as we have been able to afford them (and he is a major procrastinator which I have let slide all too often) we haven't really pushed hard to do this. When I did manage to pay off my credit card he became jealous and railed about how bad it is for my credit (there was a YM thread about this), then promptly declared that we had no money for gas or groceries unless I used my credit card. (I believed him and made the purchases, now it is back up to almost $400.)
And now, I won't have a steady source of income. More importantly, I'm losing amazing benefits.
I want to take this opportunity to open a business. But it is in an industry in which I have no experience. I have received some advice about needing to work in that industry for at least 6-12 months to get some experience before seeking capital from investors in my business. Unfortunately, working in that industry I would make peanuts (especially compared to what I get now, not that I'm getting paid a ridiculous amount of money as it is though, but the drop in salary would still be significant), and I likely would not find a job that offered benefits. However, my main backer in the business idea (my brother, who at 40 has already started many successful businesses) refuses to help me get capital without experience.
So, do I work in the industry in which I WANT to open a business and live with the lesser salary for a year or so? Or do I continue to see jobs that would have benefits and stay a wage slave with a pipe dream of owning my own business one day?
Or do I crawl into a corner and cry about how unfair life is and how Murphy is picking on me lately? (That seems like the most reasonable answer right now. Even though I know others have it worse than me, and my life isn't over just because my job is. It sure is tempting to wallow in self-pity and berate the fiance and myself for what we should have managed sooner, etc.)
Suggestions? Ideas? Hard liquor?
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,258
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 19, 2011 16:01:41 GMT -5
When I did manage to pay off my credit card he became jealous and railed about how it bad for my credit, then promptly declared that we had no money for gas or groceries unless I used my credit card. (I believed him and made the purchases, now it is back up to almost $400.)
|
|
|
Post by Elusions of Grandeur on Apr 19, 2011 16:06:53 GMT -5
Yeah, I know. Like I said, there was already a thread about that on YM a little while back. I am paying it back down again.
Er, sorry, I should say I WAS working on paying it back down and technically I had the cash to pay it off, but as we had no Emergency Fund I decided to withdraw the savings (upon my bad news) so that there is a cash-on-hand Emergency Fund of the minimally recommended $500. On the plus side, we have an Emergency Fund now.
|
|
suziq38
Well-Known Member
I love to save
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 21:11:27 GMT -5
Posts: 1,160
|
Post by suziq38 on Apr 19, 2011 16:10:04 GMT -5
We live in the U.S., so you can do whatever you please, provided that you have a place to live in and food to eat.
If you think that your business would be a good one, go for it!
On the other hand, if it is going to consume your EF, I am not so sure.
I would be looking for work instead. Any BF that gets jealous that you do not have any debt and is serious would not be a good prospect for a long term mate. Also, you allowed it to happen (borrow on your CC).
You need a job for benefits in case something happens with your health. Are you asking your brother for capital? I could understand his cautious optimism. I could not back any sibling with our family's cash.
A lot of us are "wage slaves," LOL.
Unless you make your own luck, get your own capital, start your own company, etc.
You must work for someone else and do your dream on the side. Maybe the bank will make you a business loan.
My DD finished college and started her new job. She is an ER nurse. She said that it is hard work, and she is not used to it.
I agree. We all had to do that at one point or another to get the salary, benefits, and other perks.
The benefits are the big deal. They are expensive.
Can you apply for Cobra?
No hard liquor necessary. Good luck.
|
|
mizbear
Senior Member
Stand back. I have a budget, and I know how to use it.
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:12:46 GMT -5
Posts: 3,958
|
Post by mizbear on Apr 19, 2011 19:56:08 GMT -5
I agree with suziq- especially on the mate issue- BIG GLARING RED FLAG.
Don't borrow from family unless necessary- my brother did it and owes at least 3 of us money.
There is nothing wrong with working a regular job and starting your business on the side- as suziq mentioned. It will let you build experience, clientele, and capital.
Good luck.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 20, 2011 9:07:20 GMT -5
EG, there's a thread on the YM board that deals somewhat with starting a business. The poster's husband is being mentored with a goal of starting his own business of home inspections. I'll see if I can find it and bump it for you. It's about 10 pages but only the last couple deal with the business starting questions. I think the title is something about am I right or something about being frustrated.
And yeah, there's a red flag smacking you in the face regarding your FI.
And you can go cry in a corner for a little bit, then you get to wipe your eyes and start moving again.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 20, 2011 9:11:06 GMT -5
The thread is "Getting Husband Onboard" and the poster is Tryingtofindbalance. Also, either Dark Honor and/or Cawiau started threads relating to business on YM too. I think they were more survey/is it easier to start a business when you're single or married types though.
|
|
|
Post by lonewolf2019 on Apr 20, 2011 9:12:00 GMT -5
"So, do I work in the industry in which I WANT to open a business and live with the lesser salary for a year or so?"
If you want to be successful in your business and know you can hang with it, then for sure, yes. There is a huge difference between dreaming about a business and actually running one.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 2, 2024 18:54:03 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2011 9:18:07 GMT -5
Or do I crawl into a corner and cry about how unfair life is and how Murphy is picking on me lately? Yes. Do this. You get fifteen minutes. Go. After that? It is time to put on your proverbial big girl panties and deal with it. Step 1: you and your fiance need to get on the same page. If you aren't already enrolled in a pre-wedding counseling program, find one. Lots of marriages fail because of poor financial communication, so if you think the credit card thing was a minor setback or no big deal - that may be true in the short term, but in the long term, your marriage depends on how you handle these sorts of decisions together. Step 2: This depends on step 1. If you and DF can get on the same page and scale way back on expenses, then this might be the time to go work in the industry to get experience for your business. Frankly, most businesses don't turn a profit for a while, so it may be good practice to start living more frugally now. If you can't figure out a mutual plan, then you need to kick him to the curb. On your own, you will need to find a decent paying job with benefits. But you are going to have to live as though you were only making the teeny tiny wages of your chosen industry. Use any surplus to pay off debts and build up enough savings that you are able to spend a year in the new industry before you start a business. You can do this. Even if you have to do it on your own and it takes a few more years than you would like. Write out a plan. Make a spreadsheet. Do something that allows you to see how each good financial choice you make today is moving you a little bit closer to your goal of owning a business. Good luck!
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,258
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 20, 2011 9:19:47 GMT -5
You could start a thread on YM about opening up a business (I'd leave the personal out if you just want business advice). There are several self employed buisness people on there that can help you. PalmBeachPaul in particular likes to pontificate endlessly about how he started his business, use it to your advantage! On the personal side, if you are going to own a business and still marry said fiance I would talk to a laywer about the laws in your state and make sure you cover your behind in case something goes sour. EVERYONE likes to say "oh we will never divorce" but you've already shared how your DH handles money. You need to protect what is yours. Get a pre-nup.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 20, 2011 9:25:21 GMT -5
Oh, EG, the YM board here isn't as harsh as the old MSN YM board.
|
|
busymom
Distinguished Associate
Why is the rum always gone? Oh...that's why.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 21:09:36 GMT -5
Posts: 28,387
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IPauJ5.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0D317F
Mini-Profile Text Color: 0D317F
|
Post by busymom on Apr 20, 2011 9:43:00 GMT -5
E of G: so sorry for the upcoming job loss. Been there, done that a couple times myself. It's a royal pain, with lots of decisions to make, but you'll get through it!
I'd probably take the regular paycheck for now, and be squirreling away money for your own business in the future. I remember reading an article awhile back that said the main reason new businesses fail is a shortage of cash to fall back on.
Like the other posters, I think the attitude of your fiance is a big 'ol Red Flag. Please do not say "I do" with this guy until you go through counseling together. I knew someone who's husband was withholding grocery money for her to feed the kids with because "it couldn't cost THAT much". If he won't shake loose money for food now, just for you, it can only get worse. Pay off the CC, and if he won't change, find someone who treats you as you deserve (better).
Let us know how you're doing after the job ends. We care!
|
|
CarolinaKat
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 16:10:37 GMT -5
Posts: 6,364
|
Post by CarolinaKat on Apr 20, 2011 9:56:12 GMT -5
When I did manage to pay off my credit card he became jealous and railed about how bad it is for my credit (there was a YM thread about this), then promptly declared that we had no money for gas or groceries unless I used my credit card. (I believed him and made the purchases, now it is back up to almost $400.) Please evaluate if this is a healthy relationship. I know that things can sound more one-sided or harsh on the boards. But you need someone to be proud of and support you and not sabotauge you in this way. Counciling, trusted friend, something to talk it out. As for the job, if you truly want to start your own buisness, go work in the industry, even if it is for less pay/lesser benifits. You do NOT want to end up owning a buisness in an industry that you don't understand or like.
|
|
spruby
Established Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 23:35:01 GMT -5
Posts: 255
|
Post by spruby on Apr 20, 2011 18:29:06 GMT -5
E of G - you have a real issue with DF - please deal with it - a new business venture will only make it worse.
New business - your brother is right - investors will want to make sure you understand the business you are going into and will want to see a budget. If a big piece of the money they are putting (via debt or equity) is to pay you a good salary and benefits - you won't be getting money. You need to be prepared to take little/no money for a while from the business (how long depends on type of business and its cash flow). If a 400 cc is an issue - you aren't ready for the business.
Sorry if this came out harsh - but I've lived through the hell of an under capitalized business (and resulting debt) - I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
|
|
|
Post by debtheaven on Apr 20, 2011 18:52:27 GMT -5
This message has been deleted.
|
|
startsmart
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 12:45:52 GMT -5
Posts: 4,445
|
Post by startsmart on Apr 20, 2011 20:39:15 GMT -5
Yo EoG, sorry to hear about the job situation. I know your industry is notoriously tough but if you're not ready to launch a new business what are your options for finding another job in the same industry?
Last year I successfully launched my own business which is currently sole proprietorship with 3 part time employees. I say successfully because I have plenty of work, get constant referrals and can make my bills and save.
The business I'm in is supporting entrepreneurs so my experience comes in that form and coaching our clients. Some things I've learned:
You need to be aware of your finances so much more in a business, there is no HR department to make sure you get paid on time and it's harder to schedule bill payments and expenses with irregular income. And, until things really settle in and grow you're going to have irregular income.
Same as a job your expertise will get you hired, so if you don't have the skills cultivate them. Different than a job, most clients won't let you train on them without substantial benefits to them. Like a reduced rate or free work for a short time.
Very very very few people can pull off a business launch and growth without support. Hence the YM thread. Even though it's your dream, if the fiancee isn't on board it's not going to be fun. And while I'm single I have an awesome support network, mentors, a coach and a best friend I talk to every day. You're going to need support.
Be aware of your end goal. Is it to have employees? passive income? freedom to sleep until noon? ability to travel to France without losing income? Is there another way to accomplish those goals with a job that has flexibility? Look there first.
If this is what you want, who you are, what drives you then do it. But put on the business big girl panties, take yourself seriously and do it. It takes a lot of things to start a business but motivation and persistence will pay off time and again. There's nothing wrong with having a job and enjoying the relative stability it provides. A lot of people think having a business will solve all their problems and I can tell you it won't.
|
|