The thread where the woman's kid went to live with

[zibazinski]

What happned to that saga? Does anyone remember? Was it on the old board? Her kid went to live with the dad and now she not only was out child support, she had to pay it and was angry because she bought a spendy house and she couldn't afford it and her husband, too?

[whoisjohngalt]

why do you ask?

[zibazinski]

Was curious as to what happened. Update sort of thing? Hard to remember which were old board and which are new board threads sometimes. Not like the unforgettable Terri thread!!!!

[cael]

Glad to hear things are getting better Daph!

[zibazinski]

That's great news!!! I sometimes wonder what happens. I even wonder about Terri!!!!

[zibazinski]

Daphne, it came out, I think, as kind of a slam on you and I didn't mean to do that. Just trying to get enough info from what I could recall to get an update. Another poster is asking about a troubled daughter and it reminded me of your situation. Wondered how you handled it and to see if I could get some advice for her.

[zibazinski]

Not how you handled it THEN but how you are handling it NOW. Now is what counts. THEN is the past. DD threw up in my face the other day that I wasn't there for one prom. Well, she decided to go at the last minute and I had plans already set in place and couldn't back out without loss of money and friendships so I went. My whole world does not revolve around her. Doesn't matter the countless things I have done for her since then but she wanted to throw that one thing up. I decided to NOT let that DIG go without commenting on it and I believe that will be the last time she says anything if she's as smart as I know she is.

[8 Bit WWBG]

I always wondered what happened to "jenwantsahouse" on the old WIR. I was thinking about that thread this morning. She really really really wanted a house, but they were not in a position to afford one. Both her and her husband had their own issues, although the husband could certainly have been more supportive.

I only remember because I was thinking of how she asked him a trick question, and got the answer she deserved. She asked "would you still love me if I weighed 350lbs" and he replied "of course, but your butt would be on a treadmill". I liked that because she was clearly fishing for some kind of blanket sympathy, and he refused to speak in fake platitudes.

There was another thread on old WIR that got to me... it was about buying the baby car. The wife had it out BIG time for her husbands old 1999 Ford POS that kept breaking, while her Camry or whatever from 1998 was working problem-free. The posters name will come to me in a while, and I think she did finally get her baby car. But the way she was going about it was very passive-aggressive (refusing to help put the baby seat in so he would figure out on his own that it was a pain). I understood the method, but it was a pretty nasty way to get what she wanted.

[Firebird]

Apr 19, 2011 9:40:30 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

That's great news!!! I sometimes wonder what happens. I even wonder about Terri!!!!

I thought you were still convinced Terri was a troll?

Daphne, so glad things are going better for you

[zibazinski]

There's others I'd like an update on. The one where this woman moved her 2 kids to the middle of nowhere so her husband could work with horses? I think she got a job as a waitress but there were severe financial issues.

[zibazinski]

I HOPED and PRAYED she was a troll. The story was so awful that at times I really couldn't believe someone would live/exist like that.

[Firebird]

I was way late to the party (having been absent from the boards when Terri came on the scene) but I definitely didn't think she was a troll when someone posted the link later. I read the entire thing and her story had the ring of truth. Sad.

The thing that bothered me most was the way she kept insisting that her husband was a terrible monster, then turning around and saying he wasn't that bad so she could justify staying where she was.

[zibazinski]

I coudn't volunteer at a women's shelter because of that issue. Too emotional and that would do no one any good. Much happier being a GAL and Habitat.

[gs11rmb]

Zib - this is off-topic but I notice you are a guardian ad litem (is that spelled correctly?) and they were in the news recently with that terrible case in Florida with the man who allegedly murdered his adopted daughter and severely injured her twin brother despite warnings from the GAL. Anyway, I thought if a GAL said this isn't an appropriate placement then social services would intervene. Is that not the case?

[illinicheme]

Apr 19, 2011 10:08:35 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

There was another thread on old WIR that got to me... it was about buying the baby car. The wife had it out BIG time for her husbands old 1999 Ford POS that kept breaking, while her Camry or whatever from 1998 was working problem-free. The posters name will come to me in a while, and I think she did finally get her baby car. But the way she was going about it was very passive-aggressive (refusing to help put the baby seat in so he would figure out on his own that it was a pain). I understood the method, but it was a pretty nasty way to get what she wanted.

I think it was livingalmostlarge or something?

[thyme4change]

Absolutely atrocious - asking your husband to do something all by himself so he can understand the downfalls of his choices. How dare a woman do that! If he didn't agree with her when she told him of the problems, then clearly, she is just wrong.

[zibazinski]

GAL's amazingly have a bit of power as we can go to the judge assigned to the case if we feel the GAL agency isn't responding to what we say. I have ALWAYS gotten whatever I wanted or needed for my kids/clients. I didn't like the dr that medicaid paid for bcuz I felt he was just drugging her. Talking to her made zombies seem lively. I got a $700 good dr that gave her good meds just by asking for it. I've had employees ask me to ask for stuff bcuz I can get it ordered and they can't. Mine has aged out and bcuz I'm moving I didn't ask for another but it was an awesome experience. I will do it again in another state where I will be most of the time.

[gs11rmb]

Thanks Zib - I was just curious and pleased to hear that the most vulnerable of children do sometimes have someone to truly advocate for their needs and not just what happens to be convenient.

[zibazinski]

Because we volunteer we aren't assigned 50 cases at a time so can devote the time to the client/kid. I have no more than 3 at a time and I chose older kids for very selfish reasons. I cannot handle the pain of watching kids returned to their "parents."Most of my class quit after going thru this and realizing what was going to happen and that they were powerless to prevent it. Older kids are already in foster care/group homes so I know they are reasonably safe. It shames me that I am so weak but I know myself and I couldn't stand by and do nothing without "losing it."

[stats45]

Thank you for what you do zib. I spent a good amount of time as a child in foster care and other arrangments, and the good that people like you do is really underappreciated.

[muttleynfelix]

Apr 19, 2011 12:06:48 GMT -5 @illinicheme said:

Apr 19, 2011 10:08:35 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

There was another thread on old WIR that got to me... it was about buying the baby car. The wife had it out BIG time for her husbands old 1999 Ford POS that kept breaking, while her Camry or whatever from 1998 was working problem-free. The posters name will come to me in a while, and I think she did finally get her baby car. But the way she was going about it was very passive-aggressive (refusing to help put the baby seat in so he would figure out on his own that it was a pain). I understood the method, but it was a pretty nasty way to get what she wanted.

I think it was livingalmostlarge or something?

Yep. She left WIR, but she has a blog livingalmostlarge.com. Her baby had some health issues and she was trying to finish her PhD.

[zibazinski]

The kids don't appreciate it now but like most kids, you hope they do later. One of mine is going to college, the other beauty school, and the third is going military. At least all 3 are graduating HS and becoming self supporting and not one is PREGNANT!!!! ;D

[reader79]

Zib, how could you forget the poster who coined the term 'douche canoe.'

[zibazinski]

She's still here posting I think as I read a post where the term was used. Love that term!!!!

[Mardi Gras Audrey]

Daphne was the poster of "douche canoe"... it was such a great term it stuck out to me ;D I want to know what happened to CM? The one with a ~7 year old and a newborn who was mad that the govt would "only give her $16 for foodstamps" (How dare they? ). She had the multiple cars and baby daddy #2 wasn't paying child support (But gave her a car to drive and shacked up with her when he was in town from his truckdriving gig). Then she had baby daddy #1 who was long gone but had an exhubby who was the "dad" for the seven year old. Apparently, he was "evil" even though he had been in the child's life and continued to be after the divorce. The best part was the whole "I don't want to do anything as permanent as get married to Baby daddy #2...even though we already had a baby".... She also had the parents who were providing free daycare but couldn't afford to pay her bills. She was sitting on a bunch of equity in her house but didn't want to sell because she "couldn't live anywhere without at least 2 bathrooms".....

[Wisconsin Beth]

CM was here in Jan/Feb. I'm not sure if she's gone now or lurking or I'm just missing her.

I wonder about jenwantsahouse too. And Terri. I missed the 2 kids in the middle of nowhere one although I caught some of it after the fact.

WIR is still having posters trickle in, by the way.

[zibazinski]

Wonder if they are there. I rarely go to WIR because it seems like most of the posts just aren't relevant but maybe that is where the train wrecks go? I'll have to check it out. Told DF tonite how much I appreciate him after reading about these women who get stuck with "douch canoes!!!"