Being 13

[Tennesseer]

By coincidence, ABC's Good Morning America did a segment on this article/study this morning. It is a New York Times article. I will periodically check YouTube for the GMA segment and post it here.

Being 13
Three girls, one year. This is what it’s like to be 13 today, in a world that can’t stop talking about the dire state of your future.

As eighth grade began, Anna was worried that she wasn’t very popular because her parents wouldn’t let her on Snapchat. London had a tough couple of days; she had been sent to the principal’s office for lashing out at a girl who had been mean to her by sending a text impersonating a boy that girl liked. And when Addi’s school had a lockdown later in the year, she spent the evening decompressing with her sister, reenacting a TikTok sketch — her mind far from the flashing police lights that had reflected in the windows.

Anna, London and Addi — three girls from three states, who, at 13, were legally able to join social media, and whose cellphones were always close at hand.

I started following them a year ago, after they responded to an open call for teenagers who’d let a reporter into their lives and phones. With their parents’ permission, they each wrote weekly diaries and recorded voice memos about their days (except when they were grounded). The girls’ last names have been withheld to protect their privacy, but all of the images and text messages you see here are real.

I wanted to put a face to the alarming headlines about teens and social media — in particular, girls. And to understand one tension: What happens when girls’ self-confidence, which has been shown to drop right around this age, intersects with the thing that seems to be obviously contributing to their struggle?

The long-term effects of social media on the teenage brain have not yet been defined, much less proven — which isn’t to say it’s all bad. But adolescent girls have long struggled with depression and anxiety at disproportionate rates compared with their male peers, a reality that metastasized during the pandemic.

What is known is that at age 13, a person is still more than a decade away from having a fully developed prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for decision-making and impulse control. In other words, adolescents are moving into this messy digital world at a time when they desire social attention most — and are not yet wired for restraint.

“It’s all gas pedal and no brakes,” said Mitch Prinstein, the chief science officer of the American Psychological Association, who testified before the Senate on the subject earlier this year.

Rest of article here: Being 13

[giramomma]

I  haven't had time to read this. Thanks for posting.

And bullying is a problem at the kids' school, particularly with girls, for the last decade. I'm trying to guestimate how old some of my former clients would be now...I think the oldest is 24/25 now,  the next one is 18 months or so behind. They used to talk about the bullying in 6-8th grade.

[jerseygirl]

Where is there a school with 13 yr old girls that aren’t nasty??

[Tennesseer]

Sept 21, 2023 16:08:06 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I  haven't had time to read this. Thanks for posting.

And bullying is a problem at the kids' school, particularly with girls, for the last decade. I'm trying to guestimate how old some of my former clients would be now...I think the oldest is 24/25 now,  the next one is 18 months or so behind. They used to talk about the bullying in 6-8th grade.

giramomma-here is the ABC's Good Morning Ameerica show that aired this morning about this study.

[finnime]

Cell phones coupled with social media make the nastiness of being a 13yo girl especially pernicious. Suicidality rates have skyrocketed in the last 10 years.

[toomuchreality]

I have not yet read, or watched this. But my always confident 47 yr old DD has recently been the target of bullying. It both saddens and frightens me.
I don't know many details beyond this. But if she's struggling to deal with it, I can't imagine how a 13 yr old could deal with it, from day to day.
It's a very big f-ing deal, that needs to be stopped.

[NancysSummerSip]

Heck. I am 65 and still get bullied. And was bullied at 13, too. And ages in between. Social media does fuel a lot of it now. Back in the day, of course, we knew who our bullies were. Now they can hide while sending the worst kind of abuse. And that's another thing that has changed: the level of abuse. Back then, no one ever encouraged anyone to kill themselves; now it seems to be a favorite taunt. Back then, it was just you and the bully. Now your bullies come in gangs because one person can use social media to hate on you in multiples. Back then, you knew when the line was crossed. Now, abuse comes in the form of micro-agressions and so-called "helpful" types who just want to 'splain things to you "for your own good."

The difference for me? No parents and no principal around to stop me from kicking ass. I absolutely let people know they will. stop. now. I originally took up kickboxing as a means to work on my balance. I have not used it as a weapon yet, but I would if I needed to.

 I have no issue using block and delete on social media, and I also find that silence works wonders.