ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Apr 17, 2011 19:48:23 GMT -5
Just wondering what you did or would give your daughter for her bridal shower and wedding gift.
I only have one daughter and not quite sure what I should give. I am a single parent.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 17, 2011 19:54:59 GMT -5
My DD is 3, so I won't be giving her a wedding present any time soon.
My parents gave me $5000 to spend on the wedding and a patio set.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Apr 17, 2011 20:26:20 GMT -5
For my wedding my parents gave me a simple necklace, a single white pearl on a gold chain that closely matched the pearl earrings they gave me for graduation.
To me, simple but meaningful would be best. Do you have any pretty jewelry from your family or household item she's alway admired?
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Apr 17, 2011 20:27:24 GMT -5
My DD is 3, so I won't be giving her a wedding present any time soon. My parents gave me $5000 to spend on the wedding and a patio set. My friend got a patio set for her wedding present too! |
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ilovedolphins
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Post by ilovedolphins on Apr 17, 2011 20:34:16 GMT -5
Unfortunately I don't have any jewelry. As a matter of fact she has more than me. She was the first person to give me a diamond. And the guy she is marrying loves to give her expensive jewelry.
I can't think of anything I have that she is attached to.
They would like to receive money so that they could build a bigger house but I don't know how much would be appropriate. I raised her and her brother by myself since they were small and don't have a huge savings.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 17, 2011 20:44:42 GMT -5
My mom paid for the booze at our wedding... with enough left over that we brought a LOT home ;D   |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 17, 2011 20:54:46 GMT -5
My mom paid for $500 towards the booze.
ETA: She is a single parent too.
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Post by illinicheme on Apr 17, 2011 20:55:46 GMT -5
I can't remember for certain, but I think my parents gave me money on top of having already paid for the wedding.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 18, 2011 7:05:23 GMT -5
With kids getting married at older ages, money toward the wedding costs or whatever they want to spend it on makes the most sense. I have always thought I'd give a set amount and if they blew it on the wedding, so be it. If they spent some and put the rest toward whatever, fine as well. No way would I pay for an entire wedding and then gift a large gift as well. I just funded your "money grab." Get it from the guests!!!!  |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2011 7:27:09 GMT -5
I don't have a daughter or a kid, but my mother in law paid for 50% of our wedding costs and paid for our living room furniture as a wedding gifts (my mother paid the other half of our wedding and give us 2K to pay for our honeymoon).
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Apr 18, 2011 7:52:53 GMT -5
My parents paid for my wedding (10k). For my bridal shower, they gave me a kitchen table set.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2011 8:16:52 GMT -5
ilovedolphins, I think the real question, is what can you comfortably afford to give your daughter? Whatever that dollar amount is, I would try to find one thing for the wedding or their new life together that you can expressly buy so that there would be a specific memory attached. Maybe you can buy her dress, or her veil, or her jewelry. If you have more to give, that can get kicked into the wedding pot - but even if it is just her garter, I think it would be nice if she had some "thing" that was expressly from her mom on her special day.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Apr 18, 2011 8:53:33 GMT -5
We were a single income household when DD1 married in 2003. DH was disabled; he died 3 weeks later. We gave her $5000 toward the wedding, a $1000 check as the gift and all her bath towels at her shower.
DD2 married in 2005 and I gave $5500 toward the wedding, a $1000 check as the gift and I do not remember the shower gifts.
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Post by flyingdiver on Apr 18, 2011 9:30:49 GMT -5
My mother in law gave me a wedding chest. It was a old travel chest that she had painted. In side, contained sheets and a few other knickknacks! It was a favorite and meaningful gift.
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Post by Savoir Faire-Demogague in NJ on Apr 18, 2011 9:35:45 GMT -5
No daughters here, just two boys.
My oldest kid was engaged to a nice girl for about two months, they split up.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Apr 18, 2011 10:15:22 GMT -5
I planned on giving my daughter a new house, but since I was blessed with two sons, I don't have to worry about it. Maybe just some flowers for the daughter-in-law.
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Mrs. Dinero
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Post by Mrs. Dinero on Apr 18, 2011 11:19:51 GMT -5
My parents paid for the wedding and gave us a camcorder.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2011 11:24:02 GMT -5
My mom paid for most of our wedding.
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jitterbug
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Post by jitterbug on Apr 18, 2011 11:30:30 GMT -5
Since DD was in her 5th year of college for a 4 year degree and chose to get married while we were still paying for college - AND had an extremely small wedding (40+ people), we felt that giving her $5,000 towards the wedding was a fairly generous gift (especially since there were 3 sets of parents), so didn't plan to buy anything else. Then she called us the day after the wedding to ask about their gift "as there wasn't one at the wedding from us or another set of parents and they wanted to make sure it wasn't lost." We honestly HAD thought about sending $100 to use on their honeymoon - but being asked for it didn't go over well. But we sent it.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 18, 2011 12:05:22 GMT -5
ilovedolphins, I think the real question, is what can you comfortably afford to give your daughter? Whatever that dollar amount is, I would try to find one thing for the wedding or their new life together that you can expressly buy so that there would be a specific memory attached. Maybe you can buy her dress, or her veil, or her jewelry. If you have more to give, that can get kicked into the wedding pot - but even if it is just her garter, I think it would be nice if she had some "thing" that was expressly from her mom on her special day. I agree with this. And I would also have a discussion where you explain that you can only afford X and if they'd like that in advance for wedding costs or if they'd like it as a present at the wedding. |
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Apr 18, 2011 12:23:10 GMT -5
My parents did not give me any specific gift for my wedding. They did pay for most of the wedding (hosting at their house) and my mom hosted a shower for me at her house. We were living far away from where the wedding was held so my Mom did most of the arrangements. Until I saw this, i never thought "Gee my Mom didn't give me a present" but I am sooooo appreciateive of what she did.
If you have limited means, I would help the support the wedding as best as you can, but don't worry about giving a specific "gift"
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Post by mtntigger on Apr 18, 2011 12:23:27 GMT -5
I bet!
My parents paid for what they wanted to on the wedding and reception; I don't think it was more than $4 or 5K.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Apr 18, 2011 12:35:38 GMT -5
My daughter is still a baby, but my mom gave me my china for my shower, and my parents gave me a nice wad of cash to help pay for the wedding as our wedding gift.
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Mardi Gras Audrey
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Post by Mardi Gras Audrey on Apr 18, 2011 18:07:33 GMT -5
Jitterbug,  Dolphins, I am assuming that your daughter has some knowledge of your limited means. I agree with Sarah and Georgia, just be supportive and maybe something small & sentimental. My parents will be in your situation with my upcoming wedding and I don't expect a large gift from them. They have limited means and my stepmom has mentioned borrowing $$ to help me with my wedding. I have insisted that my parents not do that and it makes me feel bad that they think that their support is not enough. I understand their perspective and they have always been generous with me and my siblings but I don't want them to sacrifice their futures and retirement for my wedding. If they do, it will jsut add to the stress of the day.... their support means more than the $$... |
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startsmart
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Post by startsmart on Apr 18, 2011 20:34:07 GMT -5
My dad bought me a car for my wedding present but seeing as how I'm not engaged to anyone at the moment it's really just an excuse for him to have another car  But the dowry includes a 1968 Cougar and they'll probably pay for some of the expenses (although Dad's back up plan is still for me to marry the butcher's son to get catering at cost...) |
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Apr 18, 2011 22:14:30 GMT -5
For my hometown shower, my mom gave us a wafflemaker (love, love, love this gift - just like the one she has that she got for a wedding gift and that she still uses) and two of our towel sets. For my shower in the town I live in now, mom gave us 4 of our place settings. For our wedding present, she and my dad gave us a quilt and a "honeymoon" picture frame (because my mom is addicted to Hallmark and loves to shop there). My parents also paid for our wedding photographer, stamps for the invitations/RSVP cards, cake, pianist, and a few other things I'm probably forgetting. When my sister got married, my parents paid for her most of her wedding (no worries, totally different situations - sis and BIL were in college still, and their wedding was way less than ours - plus DH and I weren't in a position to need the help they did). They also gave her some Precious Moments wedding/mom figurine (maybe multiple figurines??) - sis collects them, so perfect for them. I don't remember what mom gave her at the showers - probably household stuff off of one of their registries. |
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suziq38
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Post by suziq38 on Apr 18, 2011 22:15:32 GMT -5
If we were paying for the wedding, the $25K bill itself would be the gift.
I vote for the taco man and his wife to cook and serve food at the wedding.
For $500.00, it would be a good meal.
The we could give DD and her DH the extra $20K or so left over from a small, less lavish wedding and they could put the money in the bank as a gift.
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But the dowry includes a 1968 Cougar and they'll probably pay for some of the expenses (although Dad's back up plan is still for me to marry the butcher's son to get catering at cost...)
