wedding day night mare

[Virgil Showlion]

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VirgilBot TP v0.02 Started Thread Port on 12/30/2010

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[Virgil Showlion]

willowmaker
Message #1 - 02/23/10 05:54 AM



live in mich ordered a dress for me, by sons wedding in Ga,dress was ordered to larger! I am 14 16 it  way to big on me size ordered 22  had to duck tape it and pin it to by bra nylons a real mess do on drink water coffee take time to take it off lol

I was hiking it up the hole time at the wedding  to long shoulders didn't fit not right slacks 4 to 5 inches to big not taped down !!$100 to order up front bride shop  then 120 to pin it on i said over and over its way to big they would make it fit order to large  came in to shop paid 80 cash check to sew in the re store  it came back just a few days before we go to Florida. Visa said don't have any one cut it etc .they did offer to take it in at the rubber band on slack that would not have done the trick

this is the most i have paid for any outfit in my life 59 i cried in the car they had almost 5 months to order it. Called owner of store she wrote a big fat lied letter of to bad its yours no refund!!!!! how visa is holding it up for mouths wedding was in nov ga we are snow birds. had a napes tailor look at it and he wrote visa for free it was sloppy to big not sewed right. He has 30 years in dress making with wife daughter mother's will never wear it alford angelo mother of the son bride out fits we have excited

credit history so sad for the beautiful new daughter -in -law I felt horrible her mother said its to big on you it will fall off. So do we just do nothing ! we are in Fl until late april help ,its just a dress but it was more 2 moms praying for two child over a 1000 miles apart and Gods hand graced us with Shay a new daughter-in law they also love our son!

they now bride and our son have 4 teenagers and now want a new baby in the spring  wow what are they thinking!!! This is not just a money thing  its just not right

sloppy work and the brides mother wore the same thing looked great on her her dress got in to ga the day before wedding ga order wrong size two

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PatrioticStablest
Message #2 - 02/23/10 06:26 AM

What??

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tall_guy
Message #3 - 02/23/10 06:29 AM



So it's not just me??

 

 

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undisputed
Message #4 - 02/23/10 06:35 AM

no, its not just you. Its late, maybe she's sleepwriting.

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dreamy1
Message #5 - 02/23/10 06:45 AM

Drunk posting?    Is English your first language OP?

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stencilmoon
Message #6 - 02/23/10 07:29 AM

It sounds like she charged it on Visa, and complained to them about the quality of the service and merchandise.  Maybe if someone knows all the steps you go through to get satisfaction on a Visa charge? I have never had to complain about a charge like the OP.  Sounds like merchant told her "tough luck".  Can they do that?  Blow off the customer with a disputed charge?

[Virgil Showlion]

TD2K
Message #7 - 02/23/10 11:21 AM



When you dispute a charge for whatever reason (sounds like this case would say that the item delivered was not what was ordered) the credit card company will initially 'hold' that charge on your card (you don't have to pay it while the dispute is being investigated).  If they determine the charge is legit they will let you know you need to pay it and then you take up the complaint with the merchant, take them to small claims court, Judge Judy, whatever.  Simply because you dispute a charge does not automatically mean it's removed from your account permanently.

 

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Mudflap81
Message #8 - 02/23/10 01:18 PM

I'm coming back later, maybe it'll make sense post-coffee.

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TaxMan10
Message #9 - 02/23/10 01:21 PM

What??

I'll second that....

 

troll?

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Hoops98
Message #10 - 02/23/10 01:23 PM

From my interpretation I can see why the merchant blew her off.  From the sounds of it OP ordered a dress, didn't like it, but then went ahead and wore it to the wedding anyways.  Then afterwards tried to have the charges disputed to get her money back.  If this worked then every bride in America would do this after her wedding day (I realize OP isn't the bride, but same concept for ordering items really meant for one day in particular).  The time to dispute the charges is when you receive the merchandise...not after you've used it for it's intended purpose knowing full well it's not what you ordered.  If a merchant sends you the wrong thing you don't have the right to use it, knowing that it's wrong, then get your money back after you're done with it.

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meghn is planning her exit speech
Message #11 - 02/23/10 01:28 PM



My this writing, now on. Style good.

 

I believe the OP is a 14/16 and wore a size 22 dress with the power of duct tape. I'm giving myself a headache with all the head slapping.

And for the record, I have excited too.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #12 - 02/23/10 01:45 PM

I'm coming back later, maybe it'll make sense post-coffee.

There isn't enough caffeine in the world to help me makes sense of this mess of a post.

[Virgil Showlion]

quotequeen
Message #13 - 02/23/10 01:51 PM

So can somebody explain to me why she didn't just wear a different dress?

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TaxMan10
Message #14 - 02/23/10 01:55 PM

So can somebody explain to me why she didn't just wear a different dress?

 

b/c her "bra nylons [was] a real mess" and didn't match, so she wasn't able to  "do on drink water coffee take time to take it off lol"

 

 

I understand completely -- we've all been there!!

 

 

maybe she was mad b/c the store wanted to see her ID when she was buying the dress on her CC. Since she wouldn't show it, they ordered her the wrong size???

 

it's a giant conspiracy!

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JO D
Message #15 - 02/23/10 02:20 PM

then 120 to pin it on

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Mudflap81
Message #16 - 02/23/10 02:27 PM

maybe she was mad b/c the store wanted to see her ID when she was buying the dress on her CC. Since she wouldn't show it, they ordered her the wrong size???

 

it's a giant conspiracy!

They probably also wanted her bank account information to confirm her fico score was correct.

There isn't enough caffeine in the world to help me makes sense of this mess of a post.

That's what I'm afraid of.

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SantaClausDelrayBeach
Message #17 - 02/23/10 02:30 PM

I thought it was just because I'm not quite done with my first cup of coffee today. Wowzers!

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IowaSwirl
Message #18 - 02/23/10 02:38 PM



I love a challenge!

 

live in mich ordered a dress for me, by sons wedding in Ga,dress was ordered to larger! I am 14 16 it  way to big on me size ordered 22  had to duck tape it and pin it to by bra nylons a real mess do on drink water coffee take time to take it off lol

I live in Michigan, and ordered a dress for my son's wedding in Georgia.  I am a 14 or 16 and the dress delivered was a size 22!  I had to duct tape and pin it to my bra and nylons.  It was a real mess!  I didn't drink any water or coffee because I didn't have time to take it off.

I was hiking it up the hole time at the wedding  to long shoulders didn't fit not right slacks 4 to 5 inches to big not taped down !!$100 to order up front bride shop  then 120 to pin it on i said over and over its way to big they would make it fit order to large  came in to shop paid 80 cash check to sew in the re store  it came back just a few days before we go to Florida. Visa said don't have any one cut it etc .they did offer to take it in at the rubber band on slack that would not have done the trick

I was hiking it up the whole time at the wedding.  The dress was too long, the shouldn't didn't fit right, and there was slack of 4 to 5 inches around the middle where it wasn't taped down.  I had to pay a $100 deposit to order it from the bridal shop, then $120 to alter it to (sort of) fit.  I told them but they said they would make it fit.  I paid $80 by check to get it altered.  It came back just a few days before we left for Florida.  Visa said don't have anyone cut into it.  Thee bridal shop did offer to rubber band the slack, but that wouldn't have worked.

 

this is the most i have paid for any outfit in my life 59 i cried in the car they had almost 5 months to order it. Called owner of store she wrote a big fat lied letter of to bad its yours no refund!!!!! how visa is holding it up for mouths wedding was in nov ga we are snow birds. had a napes tailor look at it and he wrote visa for free it was sloppy to big not sewed right. He has 30 years in dress making

I'm 59, and have never paid this much for an outfit before in my life.  They had almost 5 months to order it and still got it wrong.  I called the store owner and she wrote a letter saying she would not refund my money.  The wedding was in November, and Visa still hasn't given me a refund.  I had a tailor with 30 years experience look at it and he wrote a letter to Visa saying the dress was sloppy, too big, and not correctly altered. 

 

with wife daughter mother's will never wear it alford angelo mother of the son bride out fits

I have no translation for this - I just keep hearing "I'm my own grandpa" in my head.

we have excited credit history so sad for the beautiful new daughter -in -law I felt horrible her mother said its to big on you it will fall off. So do we just do nothing ! we are in Fl until late april help ,its just a dress but it was more 2 moms praying for two child over a 1000 miles apart and Gods hand graced us with Shay a new daughter-in law they also love our son!

We have an excellent credit history.  I feel so bad for my new daughter-in-law.  Her mother told me the dress was too big and would fall off.  I am in Florida until late April and need help with this situation.  It is just a dress, but it represented two moms praying for our children's lives together.  We're 1000 miles apart, but Gods' hand graced us by leading them together.  Her family loves our son, too.

 

they now bride and our son have 4 teenagers and now want a new baby in the spring  wow what are they thinking!!! This is not just a money thing  its just not right

The new bride and our son have 4 teeneagers and are trying to have a baby.  What are they thinking?  This isn't just a money thing.  It isn't right.

 

sloppy work and the brides mother wore the same thing looked great on her her dress got in to ga the day before wedding ga order wrong size two

The bride's mother wore the same dress and it looked great on here even though it, too, was the wrong size.

 

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She bought a dress, it was way too big

[Virgil Showlion]

investor_bob_
Message #19 - 02/23/10 02:40 PM



willowmaker, I think you need to slow down, relax, and then try to ask your questions again.  What you wrote makes no sense, which makes it kind of hard for anyone to give you advice.

Please also pay closer attention to grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

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Hoops98
Message #20 - 02/23/10 02:45 PM

I was hiking it up the hole time at the wedding  to long shoulders didn't fit not right slacks 4 to 5 inches to big not taped down !!$100 to order up front bride shop  then 120 to pin it on i said over and over its way to big they would make it fit order to large  came in to shop paid 80 cash check to sew in the re store  it came back just a few days before we go to Florida. Visa said don't have any one cut it etc .they did offer to take it in at the rubber band on slack that would not have done the trick

Which part did you pay by Visa?  If you paid $80 cash or check to have it altered Visa isn't going to cover the problems with the alterations because you didn't pay that by Visa.  They're also probably not going to cover the original cost of the dress because you accepted the dress and went and had it altered.

 

You can have a tailor write to them and tell them what a horrible alteration job it was all you like, but if you paid for the alterations in a way other than Visa then they have no claim to withhold money for the merchandise if your complaint is really about the services which were paid for in cash/check.  I don't think you're likely to get your money back, unless I misunderstand something and you paid for the alterations with your Visa card also.

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JO D
Message #21 - 02/23/10 02:45 PM

This is your brain on drugs

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TaxMan10
Message #22 - 02/23/10 02:46 PM

Thanks IowaSwirl -- that did help greatly!

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meghn is planning her exit speech
Message #23 - 02/23/10 02:46 PM

Wow! Bravo, Iowa! Bravo!

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investor_bob_
Message #24 - 02/23/10 02:47 PM

IowaSwirl--You are amazing.  I must say, I do feel sorry for the lady.  Not really sure what to do.  Aside from disputing the charge with Visa, any effort to get remedy from an out of state store is going to be more effort than it's worth.  At the very least, she should file a report with the BBB (and you could volunteer to translate into English!).

[Virgil Showlion]

Mudflap81
Message #25 - 02/23/10 03:41 PM



Iowa - my response is to quote Wayne's World, "We're not worthy, we're not worthy!"

I have no translation for this - I just keep hearing "I'm my own grandpa" in my head.

I actually "LOL'd" and I almost fell out of my chair so I nearly "ROFLMAO'd"

I'm (sarcastically) shocked that a company will refuse to refund a dress that has been worn, pinned, and duct taped..............

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Saturn8
Message #26 - 02/23/10 03:44 PM

It looks like English is not her first language, so she typed out everything in her native language and just threw it all into Google Translator or something...you know that stuff always comes out all jumbled up

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ElfQ1015
Message #27 - 02/23/10 03:47 PM



The majority of bridal salons have in little letters on the back of their recipets that once you leave the store with the dress you are agreeing to purchase it "as is", which means if it is totally f-ed up and you proceed to leave the shop with it, you are stuck with it.


That's why you never take the dress out of the shop without insisting on being able to inspect it and try it on first to make sure it is indeed the dress you ordered.


THAT is the time to dispute it with VISA, not after you have duct taped it, pinned it, dragged it down the aisle and wore it all day.  How are they supposed to know that dress was damaged BEFORE you got it?  You've wrecked it!

 

 

 

 

 

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fanofkitchengadgets
Message #28 - 02/23/10 04:11 PM

with wife daughter mother's will never wear it alford angelo mother of the son bride out fits

She will never wear an Alfred Angelo mother of the bride/groom dress again!

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goddessofrock
Message #29 - 02/23/10 05:00 PM



Yeah... I think it was a google translator issue...

 

My mom is a seamstress so when I was growing up there were always people coming over after dinner to get dresses fitted. You should always order dresses 1 size bigger than you are because "you can always take a dress in, but you can't always take a dress out... so a 14/16 should have ordered an 18 and had 2 fittings. A 22 was going to be HUGE.

 

If most of this was paid with a VISA card, continue to dipute the charge and take the shop to small claims court if necessary.

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Dannylion
Message #30 - 02/23/10 07:02 PM



Machine translation is awful, but it does a better job than that.  Seriously.  I don't think we can blame Google translation this time.  The words would have been arranged more or less randomly, but they would have been real words, and most of them would have been spelled oorrectly.

 

Back to the topic:  In hindsight, it might have been better to purchase your dress in Michigan where you could try it on to make sure it was a good fit.  No help now, I know, but something to think about for the future.  Your new daughter-in-law was probably just happy to have you there, and if she was bothered, it was likely only because you were sad about your dress.  Enjoy your newly enlarged family and put this behind you, even if you aren't able to get a refund.  Turn it into a funny anecdote to tell the grandchildren.  Life is too short to worry about dresses.

[Virgil Showlion]

973beachbum
Message #31 - 02/23/10 07:15 PM

 have no translation for this - I just keep hearing "I'm my own grandpa" in my head.

Iowa this was so funny I spit out my soda on my screen!

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amberpi
Message #32 - 02/23/10 07:42 PM

I make poorly constructed posts because I'm usually on here during conference calls (that might explain some things, right?) but lord, I hope people can at least understand the gist of what I'm after...

OP - that story is horrible and I hope VISA can help:)

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milee
Message #33 - 02/23/10 07:57 PM

I had to duct tape and pin it to my bra and nylons.

Wow.  As a sailor, I thought I'd seen every possible use of duct tape.  Guess not, because that is a new one. 

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Turkey Thyme
Message #34 - 02/23/10 07:58 PM

Why didn't she just gain 40 pounds?  Isn't that what the "Supersize me" guy did?

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Il Magnifico de Medici
Message #35 - 02/23/10 07:59 PM



I kept reading in the hopes she wrote that her dress fell off at the reception and all the drunk uncles jumped on her immediately.

Alas, no such thing.

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Turkey Thyme
Message #36 - 02/23/10 08:03 PM



First of all - IowaSwirl is my ultimate hero for translating, and making the "my own grandpa" joke.

 

Second off - I find it terribly ironic and amusing that IowaSwirl had many typos in her translation.  LOL

 

Love you Iowa! 

[Virgil Showlion]

Swamp.
Message #37 - 02/23/10 08:06 PM

I'm (sarcastically) shocked that a company will refuse to refund a dress that has been worn, pinned, and duct taped..............

It was the duct tape that did her in.  If the dress had just been worn and pinned, she'd be fine.

 

I"m with milee, I thought I'd seen every conceivable use for duct tape............

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TaxMan10
Message #38 - 02/23/10 08:18 PM

Second off - I find it terribly ironic and amusing that IowaSwirl had many typos in her translation.  LOL

I found that ironic too, but I felt bad pointing it out

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Turkey Thyme
Message #39 - 02/23/10 08:23 PM

but I felt bad pointing it out

 

Me too - but it was funny.  Now I feel worse. 

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AmishGal
Message #40 - 02/23/10 08:31 PM

For future reference, duct tape is also very useful in providing cleavage for those lacking in that dept.  Hurts like a sonofagun coming off though.  Discovered this while asked to wear a godawful green bridesmaid dress - I though, by golly, if I'm going to wear this ugly dress, I'm going to have some cleavage too!  (open back dress and I wasn't springing for an expensive bra)

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Spydah1
Message #41 - 02/23/10 08:31 PM



Thank you Iowagirl!!!!

 

Wow, do not read this while everyone around you is quite.

 

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Il Magnifico de Medici
Message #42 - 02/23/10 08:32 PM

I find it terribly ironic and amusing that IowaSwirl had many typos in her translation

If you try to polish a turd, it still is crap

[Virgil Showlion]

TD2K
Message #43 - 02/23/10 08:33 PM

duct tape is also very useful in providing cleavage for those lacking in that dept.  Hurts like a sonofagun coming off though.

 

I was about to ask what it was like being removed.  Do you think it has a future in bikini waxing? 

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AmishGal
Message #44 - 02/23/10 08:35 PM

I'm not about to experiment in that region TD!

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IowaSwirl
Message #45 - 02/23/10 08:37 PM

Second off - I find it terribly ironic and amusing that IowaSwirl had many typos in her translation.  LOL

I know I know.  I was working/translating at the same time!  But c'mon - many?  I think I've spotted 3.  That's a "few" at best!

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Spydah1
Message #46 - 02/23/10 08:39 PM

IowaSwirl: speaking of typos I just called you Iowagirl, sorry.

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TaxMan10
Message #47 - 02/23/10 08:47 PM

duct tape is also very useful in providing cleavage for those lacking in that dept

Amish - how does this work? do you go across the front, nip to nip? or under the bottom? I would think the front would give you "bigger" boost, but I'd have to assume that would hurt more also.

 

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NancyinFL
Message #48 - 02/23/10 08:50 PM



I totally ignored good advice and 1) read this with other people around, and 2) read it while drinking (non-alcoholic beverage). Result: office thinks I am nuts, and keyboard got a soaking.

Iowa, just curious....where did you learn trashspeak? Do you have some hillbilly sitting on a branch of your family tree we need to know about? Your translation was dead on.

[Virgil Showlion]

AmishGal
Message #49 - 02/23/10 08:53 PM

Amish - how does this work

Side to side, underneath, gives the old gals a boost.

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TaxMan10
Message #50 - 02/23/10 08:55 PM

Side to side, underneath, gives the old gals a boost.

so it's kinda like a sling then??

 

hmmm......

 

Yeah, good luck with that!!

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IowaSwirl
Message #51 - 02/23/10 09:02 PM

Iowa, just curious....where did you learn trashspeak? Do you have some hillbilly sitting on a branch of your family tree we need to know about? Your translation was dead on.

Shockingly enough, most people around here are well spoken.  I guess I can blame it on living in Missouri for a few years?

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TaxMan10
Message #52 - 02/23/10 09:04 PM

I guess I can blame it on living in Missouri for a few years?

Wait a second - Missouri's more redneck than Iowa??

 

Isn't that the pot calling kettle black.

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TD2K
Message #53 - 02/23/10 09:08 PM

My pot's blacker than yours

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #54 - 02/23/10 09:14 PM

First of all - IowaSwirl is my ultimate hero for translating, and making the "my own grandpa" joke.

  I read the first page of this thread this morning and gave up.  I just checked back in and saw Iowa's translation.  I started laughing so hard that I'm literally crying at my desk.  That was great.  I can't stop laughing.  I'm going to get the stink eye from our nasty secretary who hates me and sits right outside of my office.

[Virgil Showlion]

IowaSwirl
Message #55 - 02/23/10 09:18 PM

Wait a second - Missouri's more redneck than Iowa??

Iowa is far too flat to have hillbillys.

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973beachbum
Message #56 - 02/23/10 09:19 PM

live in mich ordered a dress for me, by sons wedding in Ga,dress was ordered to larger! I am 14 16 it  way to big on me size ordered 22  had to duck tape it and pin it to by bra nylons a real mess do on drink water coffee take time to take it off lol

Mabye they would have returned it if she had used duct tape instead of duck tape.

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TaxMan10
Message #57 - 02/23/10 09:28 PM

Iowa is far too flat to have hillbillys.

Not everything in Iowa is flat.....

 

I've recently learned of a duct tape trick that can "boost" even flat Iowans

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NancyinFL
Message #58 - 02/23/10 09:44 PM

Iowans are indeed well spoken and well read, with one of the highest literacy rates in the country, with 99% of the population able to speak English "very well" and 89% are high school graduates. Not saying Missouri is more redneck (the high school graduation rate there is a little lower), but by geography, it is close enough to the south to be tainted...I mean influenced!

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TexTurkeyWearsaFlamboyantWreath
Message #59 - 02/23/10 09:44 PM

Do you think it has a future in bikini waxing? 

No, but it works well if you get a lot of bee stings or fall into a cactus.  And, yes, this is the voice of experience.

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ElfQ1015
Message #60 - 02/23/10 09:45 PM

Iowans are indeed well spoken and well read, with one of the highest literacy rates in the country,

Aww shucks, you flatter us!

[Virgil Showlion]

whiskmav
Message #61 - 02/23/10 09:59 PM

I have printed off the OP and have it up on my wall at work.

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suzi Q
Message #62 - 02/23/10 10:02 PM

Willow,
Your English writing is not good. I do not understand it all.

Your dress doesn't fit? Go to a seamtress and have them make it smaller for you, or order a new size.
If it costs only $100.00, it is really cheap.

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IHearYou2
Message #63 - 02/23/10 10:13 PM

This reminds me of my wedding day story. I got my brother-in-law to make me my suit through a tailor that he knew. I arrived in my wife's town on the day of the wedding due to work related issues. I rushed to the tailor for last minute alterations and looked at the pants and they were almost like shorts! I looked at my bro-in-law and the tailor in amazement. I was like how could you make pants this short, they both stated that it was the measurement that I gave them uhh yes but I was talking inches not centimeters besides who is that short?! Fortunately he had left a huge hem and thought a little short with no cuff I could just wear the pants for the wedding.

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Juxtaposer
Message #64 - 02/24/10 12:29 AM

I have no translation for this - I just keep hearing "I'm my own grandpa" in my head.

IowaSwirl, your post is the funniest thing I have read in weeks.  Nay, months.  And it was just today at lunch that I was insulting people from Iowa ... I take it all back.

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xquzit98
Message #65 - 02/24/10 12:53 AM



This entire thread has me busting a gut!  Hey Taxman, here is another new duct tape use for ya!

My wife use to compete in the Miss America scholarship Pageant program, and not only can it be used to provide a lift as previously mentioned by AmishGal, it is also used around the torso as a duct tape corset.  They wrap their torso in saran wrap, then wrap themselves with duct tape.  You can simply cut it off, no stick!

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famous3
Message #66 - 02/24/10 01:30 AM

Behave the boards are for all. I see it, really i see it.  Not.

[Virgil Showlion]

SantaClausDelrayBeach
Message #67 - 02/24/10 01:34 AM

Iowa Swirl,

#18.  That was awesome. 

To the OP- unfortunately you're out the money via any privately negotiated settlement.  Your options are to lump it, or to take the shop owner to small claims court.  It'll probably cost you $50 to file, and it's a crap shoot whether or not you'd win, and even if you win- it likely won't amount to much more than the cost of the dress + alterations-- maybe court costs, but this ain't TV, judges aren't keen on awarding fees. I'm not sure why that is, it just is.

I would say that this is just one of those things- it's a memory.  It doesn't seem like it now, but it'll be a fun story and a good memory in the long run.  I'd say if DIL wants to pursue it- that's her prerogative, otherwise chalk it up to "stuff happens" and move on.

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milee
Message #68 - 02/24/10 01:37 AM

take the shop owner to small claims court.  It'll probably cost you $50 to file, and it's a crap shoot whether or not you'd win, and even if you win- it likely won't amount to much more than the cost of the dress + alterations-- maybe court costs, but this ain't TV

Are you kidding?  This has Judge Judy written all over it!  OP - file in small claims and send your case to Judge Judy.  You'll make money, the defendant will make money and we'll all get some good TV out of it. 

 

Please, please, please tell me you have pictures! 

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Angel 33
Message #69 - 02/24/10 03:07 AM



OMG I LMAO through this entire thread!!!  I have tears rolling down my face.

 

I just keep hearing "I'm my own grandpa" in my head

I don't know why, but this sentence just about makes me pee my pants laughing so hard.  EVERYTIME I see it...I just roll with laughter. 

 

Thank you all...I haven't laughed this hard in months!

 

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LongSam
Message #70 - 02/24/10 05:17 AM



Thanks, IowaSwirl, for taking the time to translate Willowmaker's message.   The rest of you are a bunch of ingrates picking on Iowa's translation style.... sheesh!    Willowmaker has a legitimate gripe and should not have to pay for a dress that was many sizes too big.   That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it.

Sam/moderator  

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TD2K
Message #71 - 02/24/10 05:29 AM

Lucky she thought of duct tape rather than say firing up the welding rig.

[Virgil Showlion]

happyscooter
Message #73 - 02/24/10 12:09 PM

I'm coming back later, maybe it'll make sense post-coffee.

Nope.  I am sitting here with a cup and it still doesn't make sense.

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973beachbum
Message #74 - 02/24/10 02:18 PM

Yup I reread the entire thread again and it still cracks me up!    I swear I think this thread is a gift from God to everyone who needed a good laugh.

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meghn is planning her exit speech
Message #75 - 02/24/10 02:22 PM

This reminds me of my wedding day story. I got my brother-in-law to make me my suit through a tailor that he knew. I arrived in my wife's town on the day of the wedding due to work related issues. I rushed to the tailor for last minute alterations and looked at the pants and they were almost like shorts! I looked at my bro-in-law and the tailor in amazement. I was like how could you make pants this short, they both stated that it was the measurement that I gave them uhh yes but I was talking inches not centimeters besides who is that short?! Fortunately he had left a huge hem and thought a little short with no cuff I could just wear the pants for the wedding.

Excuse me, but I understand this. Please go back and rewrite in the form of the OP.

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IowaSwirl
Message #76 - 02/24/10 02:24 PM

Excuse me, but I understand this. Please go back and rewrite in the form of the OP.

Hm, is this a challenge?

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meghn is planning her exit speech
Message #77 - 02/24/10 02:31 PM

It might be, Iowa!

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TD2K
Message #78 - 02/24/10 02:32 PM

I don't think there's a big enough pot to hold the coffee needed to make the OP's post legible, IowaSwirl did a great job.

[Virgil Showlion]

IowaSwirl
Message #79 - 02/24/10 02:36 PM

These reminder of wadding day store groom bride-to-be brother-in-law tailor make me a suit he knew.  Far travel arrive day of town in wedding work mess!  Last minute rush tailor alterations pant shorts!  Locked brother-law-in and tailor mazed! how short make could you pants?!  Both said gave me you him same length but not centimeter inches not anyone so shortly.  Fraternity huge left hem thought little shorts with no cuff could I just wear the pants for the groom bride's day wedding.

Suppose my boss thinks I should be working?

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TaxMan10
Message #80 - 02/24/10 02:37 PM

I was like how could you make pants this short, they both stated that it was the measurement that I gave them uhh yes but I was talking inches not centimeters besides who is that short?!

So let me understand this if a I can. You told them you wore (let's say) a 34 inch inseam. And they made a 34 cm inseam?? 34 cm is about 14 inches -- that is HILLARIOUS!!

 

I'd love to see those pants!! LOL

 

I'm not even sure how that would work??

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TaxMan10
Message #81 - 02/24/10 02:38 PM

These reminder of wadding day store groom bride-to-be brother-in-law tailor make me a suit he knew.  Far travel arrive day of town in wedding work mess!  Last minute rush tailor alterations pant shorts!  Locked brother-law-in and tailor mazed! how short make could you pants?!  Both said gave me you him same length but not centimeter inches not anyone so shortly.  Fraternity huge left hem thought little shorts with no cuff could I just wear the pants for the groom bride's day wedding.

THANKS IOWA!!

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VacaInd
Message #82 - 02/24/10 02:38 PM

It's called needing a little curtisy and spelling.  please. And the OP is probably a tax paying citizen. This is why I worry about our schools all the time.

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kimber45
Message #83 - 02/24/10 02:52 PM

I'm so glad I'm alone in my office cuz I'm laughing so hard I'm crying as I'm wiping up my spewed coffee

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fanofkitchengadgets
Message #84 - 02/24/10 02:53 PM

These reminder of wadding day store groom bride-to-be brother-in-law tailor make me a suit he knew.  Far travel arrive day of town in wedding work mess!  Last minute rush tailor alterations pant shorts!  Locked brother-law-in and tailor mazed! how short make could you pants?!  Both said gave me you him same length but not centimeter inches not anyone so shortly.  Fraternity huge left hem thought little shorts with no cuff could I just wear the pants for the groom bride's day wedding.

 

Iowa, do you have an advanced degree in "Yoda Speak?"  This is awesome!

[Virgil Showlion]

meghn is planning her exit speech
Message #85 - 02/24/10 02:59 PM

Iowa that was awesome!

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investor_bob_
Message #86 - 02/24/10 03:02 PM

OK, I haven't read the whole thread, but have we figured out what a "night mare" is yet?  Some sort of nocturnal horse?

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973beachbum
Message #87 - 02/24/10 03:05 PM

Bob you have to read the original OP and post 18 to understand.  Although without Iowa I still wouldn't understand the OP but this thread is hilarious.   Trust me it is great if you need a good laugh. 

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HoneyBBQ
Message #88 - 02/24/10 03:15 PM

I thought most newscasters came from Iowa because of their impeccable diction and neutral accent.

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ASK
Message #89 - 02/24/10 03:15 PM



AmishGal,

 

You have to be careful with the duct tape.

 

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investor_bob_
Message #90 - 02/24/10 03:20 PM

Oh, i did read #18.  It should be in the YM hall of fame!

[Virgil Showlion]

fanofkitchengadgets
Message #91 - 02/24/10 03:27 PM

ASK...stop stalking my facebook page for pictures!

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startsmart
Message #92 - 02/24/10 04:56 PM

love it! Reminds me of uncle's second wedding and my grandma's dress. It was very nice, short sleeves, long dress but WOW with the cleavage. Didn't help 2 yo cousin sat on her lap and pulled on the dress the entire time. She's flashing a LOT of white skin in all the pictures.

We get home and she changes, comes out with the dress and says "huh, looks like this little lace thing is supposed to go over the front!"

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Anne_in_VA
Message #93 - 02/24/10 05:14 PM



Iowa - thank you for the fabulous translations of both stories!  I've read this thread a couple of times and can't stop laughing.  Good thing no one is in the office today or I'd be tossed out!

 

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JO D
Message #94 - 02/24/10 05:16 PM



Iowa:  You are very talented.  Not sure exactly in what...........

 

But thanks for the laughs.

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HappyCat41
Message #95 - 02/24/10 07:01 PM



Maybe VISA wants to help but they don't understand what she is asking for? I envision several execs at VISA, having coffee and shaking their heads saying, "Well, I know we should do something but I have no idea what it is that we are supposed to be doing?"

A relative of mine got married in GA around November so I'll have to ask her if this is her new mother in law.  I'll let you know if I get any info!

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RedNosedRigdeer
Message #96 - 02/24/10 07:13 PM

Iowa could probably make a nice piece of change as a consultant for VISA. She could do translations

[Virgil Showlion]

Swamp.
Message #97 - 02/24/10 07:23 PM

but have we figured out what a "night mare" is yet?  Some sort of nocturnal horse?

A black horse that wears big wedding dresses adorned with duct tape.

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Mudflap81
Message #98 - 02/24/10 07:36 PM

For future reference, duct tape is also very useful in providing cleavage for those lacking in that dept.  Hurts like a sonofagun coming off though.  Discovered this while asked to wear a godawful green bridesmaid dress - I though, by golly, if I'm going to wear this ugly dress, I'm going to have some cleavage too!  (open back dress and I wasn't springing for an expensive bra)

Reason number 47 that I like being a guy.  We just use a sock.............

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asceptictwo
Message #100 - 02/24/10 08:00 PM

I'm not saying anything but I can relate having had a bridesmaid dress ordered for me that was a size to big (yeah even getting it taking in didn't work) all cause the bride didn't want me to order it myself.

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KrisKringleGingleBells
Message #101 - 02/24/10 08:22 PM

I'm not saying anything but I can relate having had a bridesmaid dress ordered for me that was a size to big

Years ago I was in a friend's wedding.  We went to try on gowns.  I was excited because I had lost some weight and was down to smaller size.  My friend actually said to me, "Do you think you should order a 4?  What if you bulk up between now and the wedding?"

I wanted to say, "Bulk up!  Do I look like a linebacker?!?"   I ordered the size I wanted, and it fit just fine.  But having a dress be too big (within reason) is better than too small.  The last wedding I was in the seamstress took the dress in a little too much.  There was a wedding day scare as I was sucking in my breath to zip the dress.

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Need.to.save.money
Message #102 - 02/24/10 10:02 PM

<must lay off the tequila...I can't understand a word she said>

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NancyinFL
Message #103 - 02/24/10 10:16 PM

<must lay off the tequila...I can't understand a word she said>

No, no Ntsm...you must drink MORE tequila; it will still not make any sense, but it will be even funnier.

[Virgil Showlion]

comom1
Message #104 - 02/24/10 11:57 PM

No, no Ntsm...you must drink MORE tequila; it will still not make any sense, but it will be even funnier.

Do you think rum would work?  That's what I'm having right now!

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973beachbum
Message #105 - 03/02/10 08:24 PM

Yup.   I reread the whole thread and it is still hilarious!

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NancyinFL
Message #106 - 03/02/10 10:06 PM

Beach, is it too early to nominate a Post of the Year? I'm going with this one!

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mommyinmissouri
Message #107 - 03/03/10 12:30 AM

I laughed so hard I woke up my hubby and kids.    Nancy, I have to agree... this IS the Post of the Year!

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2007debtheaven
Message #108 - 03/03/10 12:38 AM

The first time I saw this thread, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me so I abandoned it.

The second time I actually read it (it was significantly shorter) and I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack from laughing so hard! The younger kids were gathered round watching me not be able to catch my breath, get cramps, saying Mommy, do you need help? LOL!

Can't exactly tell an 11YO, just read the thread. I vote for it too, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard, out loud!!!

ETA: IowaSwirl, if I were your boss, I'd fire you with severance pay, just so you could finish your novel and I could read it!

[Virgil Showlion]

sesfw2
Message #109 - 03/03/10 12:53 AM



The only thing I can get out of the OP is she is unhappy with the size of dress that was ordered.  Personally I would have refused to accept it and forced a reorder.  Although the shop probably would have said, 'too bad'.

Other than that, I don't have any idea what she rambled about.

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labette
Message #110 - 03/03/10 01:02 AM

This is hysterical. Poor lady made my night.

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JennysMom
Message #111 - 03/25/10 11:01 PM

Beach, is it too early to nominate a Post of the Year? I'm going with this one!

NancyinFL  The OP on page one definitely gets Post of the Year, but the funniest thread I ever read was by junior iii over on YM. I wish I could find that one for you! Yes, it was Junior the third, but he used small letters.(And then the saddest thread I ever read that went on forever before a mod closed it was that thread you and I were on with Terri over on WIR. It was sometime last year and went on for over 100 pages! Remember that one?

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zibazinski
Message #112 - 03/25/10 11:09 PM

Lordy, I remember that awful terri thread. Thank heavens it was closed. That ranked right up there with that woman who basically subjected her kids to poverty because of her "husband's" dream of some rathole farm life somewhere.

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zibazinski
Message #113 - 03/25/10 11:10 PM

Or that donation one that Cronewitch keeps posting to so it never dies completely.

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JennysMom
Message #114 - 03/25/10 11:13 PM

I have to ask, can anyone find that famously-funny junior iii thread that was on YM maybe in early 2009? I, for one, would love to find it again and laugh myself silly again...

[Virgil Showlion]

Turkey Thyme
Message #115 - 03/25/10 11:32 PM

What was the junior iii thread about?  I don't remember a thread that stands out so much.  Although I do remember the Terri one, because I think we all got played.

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malarky...
Message #116 - 03/25/10 11:40 PM

The junior thread was one of my first experiences on YM.
 I'm not sure what it say's about me that it was one of the reasons I decided to hang around and get to know some of the posters.

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JennysMom
Message #117 - 03/25/10 11:54 PM

OK, this is what I remember about the junior iiii. It was some kid in his early 20's who said he was incredibly rich. I think he had a Porsche but wouldn't let any one sit in it. He used private planes on business 'cuz he didn't want to sit in a seat anyone else had sat in. The funny part was he didn't call himself Junior the 3rd, but was adamant about the three iii. The thread was so hysterical and I'm not doing it justice. I don't think junior has posted in the last six months but when he did, someone who participated in that first thread always referred back to it. Then we'd all start laughing again! Oh how I wish junior iii would post again.

I wish I could remember more about it but I do remember I was wiping away tears I was laughing so hard. It wasn't just that the original post was so funny, but the pages of replies and the conversation that ensued after junior's first post. I think I remember that IHearYou2 was a participant. For some reason, I can't remember who else responded, and yes, I wish I had thought to put it on my favorites list so I could find it now... 

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malarky...
Message #118 - 03/26/10 12:13 AM

I believe there was a safety issue involving heated mirrors and a carjacking at McDonald's.

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The J
Message #119 - 03/26/10 01:44 PM

I believe there was a safety issue involving heated mirrors and a carjacking at McDonald's.

That was UpandComer.  Junior referred to himself as Junior the Third on occassion, but the rest of us only referred to him as IiI.  He had a BMW that had apparently appreciated over 100k in value within a couple of years, made millions of dollars a year, and felt that a person was only worth what they had IN THEIR POCKET.  He supposedly had a medical imaging company where hospitals would buy and maintain their own imaging equipment and then pay him ridiculous sums of money for the people who operated the machines, who the hospital would train and supervise.  Basically, they gave him cash for being a swell guy.  He also managed returns far exceeding market returns, although he only invested in index funds, and while he never had help from his parents, they had invested like $50k in mutual funds for him, and gotten him a $50k/year part-time job as an assistant to a radiology tech when he was in high school.

The thread that Jenny's Mom remembers is most likely the appreciating BMW thread.

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The J
Message #120 - 03/26/10 01:44 PM



I almost forgot....

 

peace

[Virgil Showlion]

973beachbum
Message #121 - 03/26/10 06:29 PM

with wife daughter mother's will never wear it alford angelo mother of the son bride out fits

I have no translation for this - I just keep hearing "I'm my own grandpa" in my head.

I don't know what it says about me but this still cracks me up!

I'm (sarcastically) shocked that a company will refuse to refund a dress that has been worn, pinned, and duct taped..............

This too.  Thanks to who ever brought this back up.  I needed a good laugh.

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TXsunnysky
Message #122 - 12/21/10 04:50 PM

I'm an infrequent poster, but sad the boards are shutting down. Just bumping one of the classics that have entertained me here.

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Saint Tequila Drinks a Lot
Message #123 - 12/21/10 04:55 PM

LMAO!!!  I LOVE this thread....thanks TX for bumping it....now I can laugh all over again

[Virgil Showlion]

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VirgilBot TP v0.02 Completed Thread Port - 123 post(s) in 905 seconds.

Final post: Message #123 - 12/21/10 04:55 PM

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[Apple]

Thank you, Virgil!!!

[Malarky]

Thank you, Virgil.

[sesfw]

I thought I read this on MSN ....... didn't really understand it then, good entertainment. LOL