Teen/Pre-teen Beauty Pageants

[tcu2003]

Anyone have any knowledge or insight into the teen and pre-teen beauty pageant world? A family member has been selected as her state’s pre-teen winner and “gets” to go to nationals to compete. There is no way the prize (aka “scholarship” money as they call it) comes remotely close to what they have to spend to compete, right? Between a pageant coach, apparel, photography, travel and more, I can’t wrap my brain around this at all.

I know her parents are reaching out to local businesses about sponsorships and I’m sure we’ll be asked at some point. I’d much rather give money for a college fund than this, so we’ll be passing, but I know nothing about this world so I’d see if anyone else had some knowledge.

[swamp]

It's just like every other high lever youth competition.  You'd be better of investing the money you spend on the activity rather than hoping it pans out in the form of a college scholarship/acting job/modeling job/whatever they are aiming for. 

I'm living in the middle of hockey world where everyone things little Jayden is the next Sidney Crosby and spend thousands upon thousands for travel leagues, summer leagues, equipment, training camps, power skate camps, stick handling camps, coaching camps, etc. etc.   It's not even one hockey camp anymore, it's 7 different specialized camps. 

[irishpad]

Email our president, he knows a lot about it     He could even tell you what the contestants look like prior to getting dressed.  

ETA:  ok, i went there, sorry.   

[Tennesseer]

Jul 13, 2020 15:45:18 GMT -5 irishpad said:

Email our president, he knows a lot about it     He could even tell you what the contestants look like prior to getting dressed.  

ETA:  ok, i went there, sorry.   

[NastyWoman]

Jul 13, 2020 16:01:48 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Jul 13, 2020 15:45:18 GMT -5 irishpad said:

Email our president, he knows a lot about it     He could even tell you what the contestants look like prior to getting dressed.  

ETA:  ok, i went there, sorry.   

Tenn you realize that this comment is just as bad/loaded as the one by Irish right? 

[irishpad]

Yeah, yeah, blame it on Tenn   Thanks!   

[ken a.k.a OMK]

Jul 13, 2020 16:20:56 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Jul 13, 2020 16:01:48 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Tenn you realize that this comment is just as bad/loaded as the one by Irish right? 

Took me a minute to get NastyWoman comment. Whose mind is in the gutter?

[happyhoix]

I’ve know some people who has their kids in these things and yes, it is hugely expensive. Multiple costumes per show, coaches, someone to do hair and make up, then the classes on the side so your kid develops a talent. If your kid is 100 percent enthused with this and won’t be crushed if not picked to be the grande supreme that’s one thing, but in a lot of instances I think the moms are living vicariously through their kids, and the kid is miserable.

[NastyWoman]

Jul 13, 2020 16:34:06 GMT -5 ken a.k.a OMK said:

Jul 13, 2020 16:20:56 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Tenn you realize that this comment is just as bad/loaded as the one by Irish right? 

Took me a minute to get NastyWoman comment. Whose mind is in the gutter?

I am sure there are a number of nuns turning over in their graves right now. I went to nuns-led girls school all the way through secondary school...

[sesfw]

I know zero about this but I'm reminded of Jo-Benet Ramsey of many years ago.

Cute kid ....... but such a tragic story.

Don't think anyone has ever gotten a straight answer to this, but think both parents have passed

[irishpad]

Jul 13, 2020 16:43:28 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Jul 13, 2020 16:34:06 GMT -5 ken a.k.a OMK said:

Took me a minute to get NastyWoman comment. Whose mind is in the gutter?

I am sure there are a number of nuns turning over in their graves right now. I went to nuns-led girls school all the way through secondary school...

Monday is my "day off"" meaning I get to be non-holy today?     Thanks for the good laughs.   

[irishpad]

Jul 13, 2020 16:51:49 GMT -5 sesfw said:

I know zero about this but I'm reminded of Jo-Benet Ramsey of many years ago.

Cute kid ....... but such a tragic story.

Don't think anyone has ever gotten a straight answer to this, but think both parents have passed

So sad.   Whoever did it, they need to rot in h.....

[Deleted]

Jul 13, 2020 16:51:49 GMT -5 sesfw said:

I know zero about this but I'm reminded of Jo-Benet Ramsey of many years ago.

Cute kid ....... but such a tragic story.

Don't think anyone has ever gotten a straight answer to this, but think both parents have passed

The dad is still alive.  Mom died as well as her older sister. 

[TheOtherMe]

Jul 13, 2020 16:51:49 GMT -5 sesfw said:

I know zero about this but I'm reminded of Jo-Benet Ramsey of many years ago.

Cute kid ....... but such a tragic story.

Don't think anyone has ever gotten a straight answer to this, but think both parents have passed

I lived in Boulder when Jon Benet Ramsey was murdered.  Her mother was definitely living vicariously through that little girl.

After all the stuff that was in the local paper about these kid beauty pageants, I  could not put a child in them.  

Yes, her mom passed away from cancer some years ago and is buried with Jon Benet.

I think her father and brother are both living.  

No, there have not been an answer for who killed Jon Benet.  There is an ad in the Boulder paper every Sunday requesting information.

[Works4me]

Jul 13, 2020 17:04:03 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Jul 13, 2020 16:51:49 GMT -5 sesfw said:

I know zero about this but I'm reminded of Jo-Benet Ramsey of many years ago.

Cute kid ....... but such a tragic story.

Don't think anyone has ever gotten a straight answer to this, but think both parents have passed

I lived in Boulder when Jon Benet Ramsey was murdered.  Her mother was definitely living vicariously through that little girl.

After all the stuff that was in the local paper about these kid beauty pageants, I  could not put a child in them.  

Yes, her mom passed away from cancer some years ago and is buried with Jon Benet.

I think her father and brother are both living.  

No, there have not been an answer for who killed Jon Benet.  There is an ad in the Boulder paper every Sunday requesting information.

Seeing as you lived there, I'm curious what your opinions are on that whole mess.

[TheOtherMe]

My own opinion, after all the years of grand juries, press conference, television shows, accusations, etc. is the brother did it.  He is a very strange person. 

I do not think the man who was playing Santa Claus did it.  That poor man died knowing he had been accused before he was cleared years later.

I don't think it will ever be solved in the justice system

[Deleted]

Jul 13, 2020 16:39:53 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

I’ve know some people who has their kids in these things and yes, it is hugely expensive. Multiple costumes per show, coaches, someone to do hair and make up, then the classes on the side so your kid develops a talent. If your kid is 100 percent enthused with this and won’t be crushed if not picked to be the grande supreme that’s one thing, but in a lot of instances I think the moms are living vicariously through their kids, and the kid is miserable.

DH and I used to watch "Toddlers and Tiaras" and eventually couldn't take it anymore. I know the OP asked about an older age group but it was the same thing. Wigs, spray-on tans, "flippers" to put over less-than-perfect teeth... although there's always a nod to "talent" I think it sends a very bad message about perfect physical appearance being the be-all and end-all.

Can they even do these pageants in the era of COVID-19?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Not pageants but they tried to get me sucked into competitive dancing at Gwen's studio.  $2k a month just for the fees.   Then you had to have a personal monogramed bag for your costume, the costumes themselves, you have to pay for the hotels, flights and food.   I saw some of the make-up kits those girls have when helping Gwen at the recital and I know those cost hundreds of dollars they are professional stage make-up kits.   Another person told me the clothing racks (also required) for for about $400 each.

JFC are these moms Skylar White? Almost every mom in that room had at least ONE set of those items, some for multiple kids.  How the heck do they afford that?! I told Gwen the only way I would EVER invest that kind of money is if I thought she was the next Ginger Rogers or Cyd Charise.  Then she asked me who Ginger Rogers was.

So no I would not do pageants.   Like swamp said if I had that kind of money I would be better off investing it and would get a better return.  Gwen thought she wanted to but I know my kids well enough to know they don't live, breath and eat dance.   If I was going to do that I would want a heavy ROI and that is unlikely to happen.

[justme]

Jul 13, 2020 19:22:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Not pageants but they tried to get me sucked into competitive dancing at Gwen's studio.  $2k a month just for the fees.   Then you had to have a personal monogramed bag for your costume, the costumes themselves, you have to pay for the hotels, flights and food.   I saw some of the make-up kits those girls have when helping Gwen at the recital and I know those cost hundreds of dollars they are professional stage make-up kits.   Another person told me the clothing racks (also required) for for about $400 each.

JFC are these moms Skylar White? Almost every mom in that room had at least ONE set of those items, some for multiple kids.  How the heck do they afford that?! I told Gwen the only way I would EVER invest that kind of money is if I thought she was the next Ginger Rogers or Cyd Charise.  Then she asked me who Ginger Rogers was.

So no I would not do pageants.   Like swamp said if I had that kind of money I would be better off investing it and would get a better return.  Gwen thought she wanted to but I know my kids well enough to know they don't live, breath and eat dance.   If I was going to do that I would want a heavy ROI and that is unlikely to happen.

$2k a month just for fees? Geeze are these studios way more profitable than I thought?

[tcu2003]

Jul 13, 2020 18:56:23 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Jul 13, 2020 16:39:53 GMT -5 happyhoix said:

I’ve know some people who has their kids in these things and yes, it is hugely expensive. Multiple costumes per show, coaches, someone to do hair and make up, then the classes on the side so your kid develops a talent. If your kid is 100 percent enthused with this and won’t be crushed if not picked to be the grande supreme that’s one thing, but in a lot of instances I think the moms are living vicariously through their kids, and the kid is miserable.

DH and I used to watch "Toddlers and Tiaras" and eventually couldn't take it anymore. I know the OP asked about an older age group but it was the same thing. Wigs, spray-on tans, "flippers" to put over less-than-perfect teeth... although there's always a nod to "talent" I think it sends a very bad message about perfect physical appearance being the be-all and end-all.

Can they even do these pageants in the era of COVID-19?

No idea if they can or not but I’m sure I’ll find out through the family grapevine!

The girl just finished middle school, and I think it’s at least partially driven by her, but not 100% sure. It especially blows my mind because she’s a twin, and the money could go a long way towards college for her and her twin brother. Oh well, not my money, not my problem.

[thyme4change]

Jul 13, 2020 19:42:34 GMT -5 justme said:

Jul 13, 2020 19:22:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Not pageants but they tried to get me sucked into competitive dancing at Gwen's studio.  $2k a month just for the fees.   Then you had to have a personal monogramed bag for your costume, the costumes themselves, you have to pay for the hotels, flights and food.   I saw some of the make-up kits those girls have when helping Gwen at the recital and I know those cost hundreds of dollars they are professional stage make-up kits.   Another person told me the clothing racks (also required) for for about $400 each.

JFC are these moms Skylar White? Almost every mom in that room had at least ONE set of those items, some for multiple kids.  How the heck do they afford that?! I told Gwen the only way I would EVER invest that kind of money is if I thought she was the next Ginger Rogers or Cyd Charise.  Then she asked me who Ginger Rogers was.

So no I would not do pageants.   Like swamp said if I had that kind of money I would be better off investing it and would get a better return.  Gwen thought she wanted to but I know my kids well enough to know they don't live, breath and eat dance.   If I was going to do that I would want a heavy ROI and that is unlikely to happen.

$2k a month just for fees? Geeze are these studios way more profitable than I thought?

It must have been a really high ranking studio, because my daughter competes and I don't pay 24k per year. I think it was about 300/month plus 1000-1200 per year for competition fees, plus another 600-1000 for costumes and warm ups and bags, etc. We haven't yet done a competition out of town, so travel is minimal.

My son's soccer is probably close to that, but he plays at a higher level than my daughter dances, so we have a lot of travel expenses. Usually we can just pop over to Southern California. We can drive, but hotels aren't cheap. Last year he went to Florida, which doesn't look likely this year. 😷

Although my son has potential, I don't pay the fees with some expectation of monetary gain - scholarships are tough for men's soccer, and I would rather he went to a school that will work with his life goals, instead of just the school that offered him a scholarship. I pay for their activities because they enjoy them, and I think they learn something from the process. I think the activity is healthy. I've been worried about the kids as their activities have been canceled. My son gets really testosterone-filled when he doesn't have the outlet. But he isn't an individual sport guy - so it is worth the money to give him the outlet.


All that said - if you don't want to support your niece's beauty pageant career, don't. If you want to put away a little money for her college, do that, but I wouldn't tie it to the pageant. Just give her a generous high school graduation gift. If she is still in pageants, she will still need additional cash during college. If she isn't, having the gift be tied to the pageants is kinda a "told you so" moment that doesn't need to happen.

[dippyegg]

I have never had any involvement in pageants.  I am sure some are better than others.  I can see where that might be helpful in having your child gain confidence in speaking, being in front of people and so forth.  However, there have been many TV shows where some of these things seem toxic with over the top mothers as well.  Like anything it's probably depends on the spirit with which you approach it and what you intend to get out of it.  I would rather have a child in dance or some other thing where they are learning actual skills and developing a talent rather than just being judged on physical beauty.

[anciana]

Jul 13, 2020 14:18:28 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Anyone have any knowledge or insight into the teen and pre-teen beauty pageant world? A family member has been selected as her state’s pre-teen winner and “gets” to go to nationals to compete. There is no way the prize (aka “scholarship” money as they call it) comes remotely close to what they have to spend to compete, right? Between a pageant coach, apparel, photography, travel and more, I can’t wrap my brain around this at all.

I know her parents are reaching out to local businesses about sponsorships and I’m sure we’ll be asked at some point. I’d much rather give money for a college fund than this, so we’ll be passing, but I know nothing about this world so I’d see if anyone else had some knowledge.

Don't know anything about the pageants, so sorry, no advice on those. Following this thread looking for advice on how to show support to people in our lives even when we don't agree with what they want us to support them in.

[Miss Tequila]

Jul 13, 2020 19:22:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Not pageants but they tried to get me sucked into competitive dancing at Gwen's studio.  $2k a month just for the fees.   Then you had to have a personal monogramed bag for your costume, the costumes themselves, you have to pay for the hotels, flights and food.   I saw some of the make-up kits those girls have when helping Gwen at the recital and I know those cost hundreds of dollars they are professional stage make-up kits.   Another person told me the clothing racks (also required) for for about $400 each.

JFC are these moms Skylar White? Almost every mom in that room had at least ONE set of those items, some for multiple kids.  How the heck do they afford that?! I told Gwen the only way I would EVER invest that kind of money is if I thought she was the next Ginger Rogers or Cyd Charise.  Then she asked me who Ginger Rogers was.

So no I would not do pageants.   Like swamp said if I had that kind of money I would be better off investing it and would get a better return.  Gwen thought she wanted to but I know my kids well enough to know they don't live, breath and eat dance.   If I was going to do that I would want a heavy ROI and that is unlikely to happen.

That’s crazy expensive. My oldest used to do competition cheer and it was nowhere near $2k a month, unless you add in the travel. But just fees? Nowhere near that. She enjoyed it but I had no illusions that it was going to lead to scholarships or a career. Once the traveling and practice started to interfere with her life and she wanted to quit, I made her stick out that session but then she quit

As for beauty pageants, I would not allow my daughter to do them. She wanted to when she was young but it wasn’t happening. I don’t like that you are judged on how you look. One of her friends that she met over the last couple years is a pageant person. She is sweet and smart, but holy shit is she high maintenance!lol.

[Deleted]

When I was in high school, we referred to them as "sluts on parade". 

I think it's disgusting, but I don't live in a state where it's popular.

[Deleted]

My daughter did the county's Junior Miss program years ago.  it's not the same type of pageant, but even it is expensive.  There are very few scholarships at the local level.  I think the local university offered one to the winner.  The other "scholarships" came from the money the girls raised in sponsorships.  So, in other words, friends and family were contributing money that the girls might win back.  Lol.

We broke a little better than even because she was the first alternate and won a $1000 scholarship.  That's if you don't count years and years of piano lessons.  Her BFF's mother took $500 out of her daughter's college account to pay for a dress.  She got nothing.  We rented my daughter's dress, by the way, and paid for an hour of interview coaching.  She wore her previous year's prom dress for the talent competition.  She is a pianist so she had more options there than many.

I will say, though, that my daughter thoroughly enjoyed the experience.  So sometimes that alone makes it worth it.  I don't think her BFF enjoyed it as much, though.

She also got a $1000 scholarship as a cheerleader.  That was based on ACT scores and academic achievement.  We spent way more than $1000 on cheerleading in grades 7-12.  But, again, it was something she enjoyed.  It was also very good for her since she was basically shy when she first made the squad.

[thyme4change]

Jul 14, 2020 10:57:54 GMT -5 anciana said:

Jul 13, 2020 14:18:28 GMT -5 tcu2003 said:

Anyone have any knowledge or insight into the teen and pre-teen beauty pageant world? A family member has been selected as her state’s pre-teen winner and “gets” to go to nationals to compete. There is no way the prize (aka “scholarship” money as they call it) comes remotely close to what they have to spend to compete, right? Between a pageant coach, apparel, photography, travel and more, I can’t wrap my brain around this at all.

I know her parents are reaching out to local businesses about sponsorships and I’m sure we’ll be asked at some point. I’d much rather give money for a college fund than this, so we’ll be passing, but I know nothing about this world so I’d see if anyone else had some knowledge.

Don't know anything about the pageants, so sorry, no advice on those. Following this thread looking for advice on how to show support to people in our lives even when we don't agree with what they want us to support them in.

Support them, sure. But help them monetarily- I'm not sure it is needed. Especially if this is the first ask. If you have given a thousand dollars to every grandchild for their chosen activity, and on this one you say "nope" you are probably an asshole, but if no relative has ever asked you to fund their child's activity, no need to start with one you disagree with.

[dondub]

Disgusting objectification.