TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 1, 2020 16:03:42 GMT -5
Because 3 months in I am ready to kick my brother out because he is eating me out of a house. I don’t know if it is the boredom or the fact that all he does is sleep and eat in between of watching tv or browsing the net but Damn dude
My grocery bill Is now averaging ~$1,000/month. A box of cereal does not last more than 2 days so now I purchase it 3-4 boxes at a time. He is a on SEE-FOOD diet!
My wife just sent me a grocery list and when I was done I texted her if she noticed or had a guest how much everything would add up too. Her answer:
“I’m sorry it’s nothing exotic just food for us to eat. I gave your brother the biggest piece of fish yet he still had chicken. We have no veggies or meat”.
And I just did the grocery shopping last Thursday; and went to Costco Friday. Now I find myself doing 2 grocery trips a week and picking up a few things we may need here and there on some random nights about 3 times a week.
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MN-Investor
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Post by MN-Investor on Jun 1, 2020 16:07:05 GMT -5
Is there any reason why your brother is not contributing to the cost of the groceries?
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Jun 1, 2020 16:09:48 GMT -5
Is there any reason why your brother is not contributing to the cost of the groceries? He has no job and currently illegal for him to work in the US (the reason for his current legal troubles so not trying to make it worse).
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crazycat
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Post by crazycat on Jun 1, 2020 16:13:24 GMT -5
Maybe put him to work around the house . Cleaning , chores , Honey Do list , something . It will help you and the wife out and maybe help him feel like he’s contributing as well .
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Jun 1, 2020 16:29:20 GMT -5
Back in the olden days a big family might serve alot of potatoes (baked and mashed) and bread products with each meal and there were no 'snacks'. I think you might need to say something to your brother. Think about the stereotypical "roommate" who eats everyone elses food. There's a way to deal with this in a nice way.
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phil5185
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Post by phil5185 on Jun 1, 2020 16:34:18 GMT -5
Is there any reason why your brother is not contributing to the cost of the groceries? He has no job and currently illegal for him to work in the US (the reason for his current legal troubles so not trying to make it worse). How much would it cost for a plane ticket to a place where he could work?
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on Jun 1, 2020 16:36:37 GMT -5
Maybe put him in charge of the victory garden?
also - meat - chicken - fish? time for rice and beans.
he can grow the beans.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2020 16:38:43 GMT -5
Back in the olden days a big family might serve alot of potatoes (baked and mashed) and bread products with each meal and there were no 'snacks'. I think you might need to say something to your brother. Think about the stereotypical "roommate" who eats everyone elses food. There's a way to deal with this in a nice way. LOL! My mother used to say heavy on the potatoes and gravy, light on the meat. We never knew the difference, just ate what was put in front of us. Snacks? No such thing except on Friday/Saturday nights when we had popcorn.
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laterbloomer
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Post by laterbloomer on Jun 1, 2020 16:42:07 GMT -5
Lots of carbs! This is why they invented pasta, soups and casseroles. Lots of starch with just enough protein for flavour. Porridge instead of cereal.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2020 16:49:00 GMT -5
I once took the teenage daughter of my son's caregiver with us when we went on vacation in the Outer Banks, so she could tend to DS, who was 8 months old at the time. We rented a house and, to be fair, she asked if it was OK to eat whatever was around. Sure, we said. We bought ice cream. It disappeared. We bought more. It disappeared. Finally after a few repeats we stopped buying it. End of problem. And she wasn't overweight. She was just a teenager. That's what they do.
Can you cut back on buying empty-calorie snacks and put some limits on what he eats when he raids the refrigerator? ("We're saving the leftover meatloaf for sandwiches for lunch tomorrow".) Are there cheap things (e.g. popcorn) you can keep around that he doesn't have to limit? You're in the driver's seat here.
And it very definitely could be boredom or depression. Give him work to do. What's the plan over the long term to get him out?
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 1, 2020 16:51:15 GMT -5
We spend about $750/month. But that's nearly all meals, all the time for a family of 6. The only one that doesn't eat a whole lot is the two year old. We eat out about 2-3 times a month.
We only buy box cereal when it's under $2/box. We get box cereal once or twice a month. Anything more is too much for our pocketbook. And also, it makes us go through milk a lot more than is necessary.
I eat oatmeal. It's not fun or sexy. But we do only pay $2.00 for a generic container that provides 30 servings.
Other typical breakfasts are whole wheat bagels ($.30/serving), yogurt, quick breads made from scratch (banana bread, cinnamon bread that's great for baking with a toddler-no electric device is needed). Eggs is another option. Pancakes and waffles sparingly, because we use real maple syrup, and my kids would literally drink it if I allowed them. We have enough carb-based snacks for two servings a day/person. Actually, if you start looking at boxes and containers...it's like a box of crackers/week.
We use meat fairly sparingly. When we have it, it's like for fajitas., and we go heavy on the veggies and beans. We can get away with a couple of breasts. But, the girls also don't eat much meat, if any. Only in-season fresh foods. Fruit and veggies for sides. Very little for deserts. We actually just got though birthday season, and getting my kids off sweets has been a PITA. Crabbiness for a week or so.
DH grocery shops once a week. We don't even have time for that, half the time. And, when the food runs out, for the most part, it runs out. Eat all the good snacks by Tuesday. Well, too bad for you.
My husband has taken to splitting up some food and putting it in the basement. One, it prevents every one from binging because "oh looks, there's two containers." But also, we have a small 70s kitchen that wasn't meant to store that much food.
If the kids want the "good" food, they know to eat it at grandmas and grandpa's house.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2020 16:55:03 GMT -5
Why is your wife making fish and chicken? Even if she does make two entrees because someone doesn't eat fish (me!, me!), why is there a piece of chicken in addition to his fish? We never had more entrees than people. Four people = four pieces of chicken, four pork chops, four hamburgers, whatever. That is a lot of your problem. As others have said, make sure to have plenty of sides including potatoes, whatever. Even then, though, I wouldn't go overboard. And limit the snacks. If the cookies are all gone in one day, there are no more cookies until next week. That said, I have friends who used to say Boy Chow ought to be available in 25# bags just like Dog Chow.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Jun 1, 2020 16:55:34 GMT -5
Big poor families don't eat well. Even mid sized families don't eat well if poor. Growing up in a family of 5 we ate venison, grew our own fruit and garden and rabbits. Dinner might be home canned green beans, burgers and home canned peaches for desert. Mom and us kids picked green beans all summer and when the cannery closed we were allowed to pick all we wanted to take home, we canned 90 quarts one year. My aunt knew someone with a peach orchard so canned peaches and we traded.
Dad would kill a deer, some rabbits and buy a side of beef. We had gardens and picked blackberries and canned cherries and pairs and made apple butter and jams and jellies. Mom would buy potatoes, pasta, beans but not much meat or produce and nothing out of season. Very careful shopping so if potatoes were too expensive we didn't buy any eat rice instead.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2020 16:58:53 GMT -5
I have a teenage son. I don't buy ice cream. I don't buy chips or other snacks. I don't buy pretty much any easy to make/grab things, or he will eat them all in no time. I do get him Cheerios because he really likes them, but he gets maybe 4 boxes a month. Once they're gone, they're gone.
Lots of spaghetti, rice, beans, with just a little meat, buying and making food in bulk and using all leftovers, and few convenience and snack items. That's the way large families keep the cost down.
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msventoux
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Post by msventoux on Jun 1, 2020 17:47:04 GMT -5
He doesn’t need cereal he can eat oatmeal. You can cheaply make big containers of stew, chili, spaghetti, etc. If you don’t want him to miss out on eating what the rest of the family is, make the plates in the kitchen for everyone. If he is still hungry after eating his allocated portion he can have some oatmeal, spaghetti, etc.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 1, 2020 18:06:51 GMT -5
So you are feeding 4 adults and a child for about $1000/mo. In reality, that’s not horrible. We are eating a lot more meals at home and our grocery budget is 50% more than it used to be. We have gone from about $500/mo to $700. That is for 2 adults.
Is the problem more that food you thought was there is gone, or that the snacks are gone? I know that when I cook for a couple days, if TD eats what I have planned for dinner, I get pissed. But this is more because *I* never said to him ‘I’ll be making chicken pot pie out of that leftover chicken, please don’t eat it’. I have gotten better at this.
Also agree with the others about making more potatoes, rice, pasta and less meat.
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apple 2
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Post by apple 2 on Jun 1, 2020 18:15:48 GMT -5
Lots of carbs! This is why they invented pasta, soups and casseroles. Lots of starch with just enough protein for flavour. Porridge instead of cereal. Good idea, and hide all the good stuff in your room.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2020 18:21:55 GMT -5
So you are feeding 4 adults and a child for about $1000/mo. In reality, that’s not horrible. We are eating a lot more meals at home and our grocery budget is 50% more than it used to be. We have gone from about $500/mo to $700. That is for 2 adults. I was thinking the same thing. Even Dave Ramsey the king of frugal during debt paydown says to allocate $150/month/person, so that would take you to $750. Factor in that it's DC cost of living and it's not horribly off. A few changes should be able to bring it down a couple hundred a month.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Jun 1, 2020 18:56:37 GMT -5
Lots of carbs! This is why they invented pasta, soups and casseroles. Lots of starch with just enough protein for flavour. Porridge instead of cereal. Good idea, and hide all the good stuff in your room. Your post reminds me of my childhood. My mom used to buy me my own box of cookies and tell me to hide them in my room. She knew if she didn't then my brother would eat them all and I would end up with none. I'm not sure how many times I would venture to the fridge looking for the ice cream that was just bought 3 days ago and there would only be a spoonful left. My brother would say "well, mom said for me to leave you some and I did." Jerk!
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 1, 2020 19:11:50 GMT -5
I think we got up to $1200/month, but we were stocking up for quarantine/refilling our pantry after our kitchen remodel. My boys also have periodic growth spurts, from their suddenly eating everything in sight. Prices are definitely up now, too. I talked my DH into taking advantage of the school food distribution for the last few weeks of school. It's helping a little, and helping out with some variety.
It was shocking how high our grocery bill had gotten. My boys are only 7 and 10!
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Jun 1, 2020 19:28:57 GMT -5
I spent less on groceries by buying basic ingredients, and cooking/baking. I rarely buy prepackaged stuff. Want cookies, bake from scratch. Want pizza, make from scratch.
Also, shop at Aldi. I've been buying a lot of cereal lately (because I'm trying to shop only every 2 weeks and DS4 is home from college), those boxes don't go very far it seems. I think I got 9 or 10 boxes last time, plus bagels for DS5 who switches back and forth. But they are $1.19-$1.39 a box at Aldi.
Everyone pushing the potatoes - potatoes are stupid expensive lately! Five $ a bag?
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Jun 1, 2020 20:06:31 GMT -5
One of the basic strategies for stretching a grocery budget is to start meals with soup. It helps fill people up before they get to more expensive meal items.
Reduce the amount of expensive proteins and increase the quantity of potato’s, pasta, beans, and lentils. A friend’s flavorful lentil stew recipe calls for a pound of ground turkey, yet yields more tha five quarts of stew. Lentils, carrots, onions, mushrooms, and ground turkey.
Use recipes that use small amounts of protein and large servings of less expensive ingredients. Beef stew served over a generous serving of mashed potatoes. A stir fry over a good serving of rice.
Skip things such as expensive cold cereal in favor of a farmer’s breakfast of a couple of eggs, fried potatoes, and toast.
Focus on recipes that use less expensive cuts of meat. Instead of six or seven dollar a pound beef, use two dollar a pound boneless pork shoulder to make country style pork ribs. Served with a big serving of mashed potatoes. Or cut the pork shoulder into steaks and do pork steaks with potatoes and country gravy.
I know that my suggestions involve a lot more time preparing ingredients and cooking than many of us are accustomed to spending. Can your brother cook, or learn to do a little cooking? Would it be possible to assign him one meal to prepare every day? Boiling and frying some potatoes, frying some eggs, and browning some bread isn’t too challenging. Or, can the person who is the primary cook in your family use your brother to help with the preparation while teaching him some cooking skills?
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Jun 1, 2020 20:26:05 GMT -5
Good idea, and hide all the good stuff in your room. Your post reminds me of my childhood. My mom used to buy me my own box of cookies and tell me to hide them in my room. She knew if she didn't then my brother would eat them all and I would end up with none. I'm not sure how many times I would venture to the fridge looking for the ice cream that was just bought 3 days ago and there would only be a spoonful left. My brother would say "well, mom said for me to leave you some and I did." Jerk! Sometimes I feel wistful or even sad that I was an only child and have no siblings, other times, not so much.
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obelisk
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Post by obelisk on Jun 1, 2020 20:48:02 GMT -5
Because 3 months in I am ready to kick my brother out because he is eating me out of a house. I don’t know if it is the boredom or the fact that all he does is sleep and eat in between of watching tv or browsing the net but Damn dude My grocery bill Is now averaging ~$1,000/month. A box of cereal does not last more than 2 days so now I purchase it 3-4 boxes at a time. He is a on SEE-FOOD diet! My wife just sent me a grocery list and when I was done I texted her if she noticed or had a guest how much everything would add up too. Her answer: “I’m sorry it’s nothing exotic just food for us to eat. I gave your brother the biggest piece of fish yet he still had chicken. We have no veggies or meat”. And I just did the grocery shopping last Thursday; and went to Costco Friday. Now I find myself doing 2 grocery trips a week and picking up a few things we may need here and there on some random nights about 3 times a week. A grown man that is hanging out in your home will easily run the grocery bill at 350USD per month. What is else to do in a home. Eating is a past time along with sleeping, internet and TV, how else do you spend you time. I recommend sending your brother to one of those jobs that you said in a previous post that people with papers are not willing to do. It will prove your point.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jun 1, 2020 21:37:40 GMT -5
Family of 4 adults including 2 young 20-something men. As you know, we live in a VHCOLA.. We eat protein, veggies, produce, and just a few quality carbs. We buy “ingredients” mostly from the outer ring of the store rather than prepared foods. We cook and bake from scratch. We batch cook and have 2 chest freezers. We play the grocery game and keep a pantry stocked with loss leaders and sale items. We have a garden. We don’t eat eggs, tree nuts, or soy so that eliminates some cheaper proteins. My kids eat 4-5 actual meals per day. We easily spend $1600/month on groceries. Honestly, I don’t think $1,000/month for a family of 5 including 4 adults in D.C. is that high. But you can cut it down. For example, switch to cheaper cuts (I.e., chicken legs for BSCB). Buy in-season produce. Use your crockpot. Buy in bulk on sale. Batch cook. Stretch meat by serving more casseroles/stir fries/stews, etc. Bake muffins, cookies, etc. Check competitor circulars and shop their sales.
As you know, grocery prices are on the rise and cheaper foods such as rice, beans, baking ingredients, etc. are in short supply, so you may not see a dramatic drop in your grocery budget right away.
Good luck!!
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jun 1, 2020 21:52:26 GMT -5
When my sons were teenagers, they were eating me out of house and home. Thing was, when they were hungry, they’d go for the easiest (and most expensive) snacks available.
What I did (this may or may not be helpful) was 1) Snacks for their lunches were kept locked in the freezer (otherwise they’d devour them in a day) 2) I kept things readily available for them to cook (mac and cheese, ramen, that sort of thing) always at hand 3) Leftovers were always fair game and they were encouraged to help themselves
Good luck!
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Jun 1, 2020 22:27:35 GMT -5
The USDA publishes an annual chart of average monthly grocery expenses in different areas of the country at 3 different budget levels. I’m on my phone right now and can’t link to it, but Google it and you will see that $1,000/month for 5 in D.C. is not out of line.
Also, remember, we’ve all been eating only at home for the past 2 months, so restaurant meals that might not be included in your grocery budget are not being purchased and eaten. Add in Instacart fees and tips and grocery budgets for the past few months are out of whack for most of us.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 1, 2020 23:37:27 GMT -5
The USDA publishes an annual chart of average monthly grocery expenses in different areas of the country at 3 different budget levels. I’m on my phone right now and can’t link to it, but Google it and you will see that $1,000/month for 5 in D.C. is not out of line. Also, remember, we’ve all been eating only at home for the past 2 months, so restaurant meals that might not be included in your grocery budget are not being purchased and eaten. Add in Instacart fees and tips and grocery budgets for the past few months are out of whack for most of us.This one is huge for us. We were eating out at least 2-4x/week for various social obligations and that does add up quickly. Our eating out budget was probably more than what we spent on groceries. Now, with take out, I doubt if we are much over $100/mo. So even if our grocery spending is up to $700, we are still ahead of the game.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 2, 2020 0:35:26 GMT -5
Groceries are going up. I was at Sam's, they had some big baking potatoes, I was going to buy a bag. It was 15 pounds, they wanted $9.44!! for potatoes. I did not buy it. I noticed other items higher in price.
At our local store lots of bare spaces on the shelves, food there has always been outrageous so I don't buy much there.
With all this going on, I'm thinking of stocking up more again. We are fine on meat for awhile.
Things like cereal are not filling, oatmeal, crème of wheat things like that are. In soups I add barley it adds bulk to soup. Think of filling for him. I'm sure his diet at home was much different. Surely you mom can help come up with ideas.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 2, 2020 7:01:42 GMT -5
I remember.
I grew up in a family of 7, including 3 brothers. One time, when I was 10, I made a 3-lb. meatloaf for supper and my 15-yo DB came home after school with 2 friends and they cooked and ate it all for a before-dinner snack.
My mother followed most of the suggestions listed above: hot dogs but only with baked beans; ham with scalloped potatoes cooked with evaporated milk; lentil soup; chicken legs only, baked, served with potatoes; frozen fish baked with spinach and served with rice; meatloaf rather than hamburgers; corn chowder with maybe leftover chicken; tomato soup with grilled cheese or peanut butter; spaghetti and meat sauce; tuna casserole; mac and cheese; chili. She bought breads at day-old outlets or made it herself or we (the kids) did. We had a big garden for vegetables and some fruit. Roast beef was a Sunday dinner meal only. She made a turkey occasionally when it was on sale and we ate every bit. She bought only unsweetened cereal like Cheerios or shredded wheat. She regularly made oatmeal, French toast or eggs for breakfasts or Swedish pancakes. She made one dessert a day, usually something like pudding over canned peaches or Jello or cookies. None of us developed any sort of weight problem.
THere were some changes when my older 3 siblings grew up into their own lives. My youngest brother and I had more convenience-type foods while my mother worked full time and we each delivered papers. My father was a hospital administrator so worked long hours. Much of the time I/we cooked dinner ourselves, from food in the garden and pantry. When I got old enough to get my driver's license I took up the dinner responsibility.
I'm an excellent cook as was my mother.
I also live not too far from you, in Maryland. And yes, the cost of food is high, higher still in the time of Covid. Maybe you're doing well.
Your brother can certainly do some shopping and cooking himself, for all of you. That might help.
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