Our Men and Women In The Military

[Deleted]

When I was 16yo, I traveled with my best friend and her Mother to see her brother graduate from boot camp. I decided then that joining the military was not for me. And even at that young age, it made me appreciate the men and women that were willing to do it.

I’ve spent over 20 years now, working with a lot of veterans. I’ve worked with Purple Heart Vets, I’ve worked with Vietnam veterans, I work with veterans that served in Desert Storm, Afghanistan, Bosnia, etc. The ones I have and do work with, were obviously some of the ones that came home. And although they made it back home from war/war zones/ hostile territory/whatever, many (most?) of them came home bruised and battered in one way or another, sometimes broken..... mentally, physically, or both. I had a veteran coworker who had special accommodations because of his PTSD. He committed suicide a year or 2 after he was hired. 

And now I live with a veteran who’s been in a war zone. He simply does not talk about that time in his life. But it scarred him physically and haunts him mentally. Simple things, like at my other house, he hated walking in my yard because I had moles and the ground was soft... and it reminded him of the mass graves overseas. He and his parents say that he came home a different man than the one that left, but those issues aren’t mine to share. The one and only time that he’s talked a little about his time in war, I wanted to cover my ears and tell him to stop talking. But I figured if he was finally talking a little about it, he needed to get it out, and maybe to be heard, so I listened. And cringed and cried on the inside. He’s never spoken of it again. Who can be the same after?

One of my veteran coworkers says that so many veterans don’t get the help they need because they can’t/don’t want to talk to anyone, not even a professional, about it. Talking about it is almost like reliving it and it just feels like too much. They’d rather forget it, but that’s just not quite how that works.

All that to say, I pray every day for the men and women in our military. I’ve cared about them and been grateful for them and our veterans since I was a teenager, when I had no close family members that were veterans and my best friend’s brother was the only person I personally knew that was in the military. I feel that they deserve enough respect that we don’t knowingly take actions that will put them in harm’s way unnecessarily.  I don’t feel like our leaders always take that responsibility seriously. It’s not usually THEIR spouses, children, sisters and brothers.... loved ones, at risk anyway. But these are still real people, just as real as you and I, with hopes and dreams just like you and I, real people that love and are loved. They deserve more than to be put in harm’s way on a whim, or to make a point, or just because we can.

If you read this long post, thank you. I didn’t mean to be so long winded, but this has really been on my mind lately. If you believe in prayer, please say a prayer (or several) for our men and women in the armed forces, and their families. And if you’ve served and/or held it down for or supported a loved one that served.... thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

[daisy]

My youngest daughter (now 21) told her father and me that she wanted to join the Army National Guard at 17 - we spent time talking to her about it and she was firm in her belief that she wanted to serve her country.  She's pondered joining up full time when she is done with her present contract and she waffles over it but has another year (I believe) to decide.  My brother joined the Marines during his college years and both of his children, my 21 year old niece (Navy) and her 18 year old brother (Marines) have become full time military personnel. My nephew is at a base in Florida and was there when it was subjected to a terrorist attack recently. It was frankly terrifying until he was able to contact his parents and let them know he was safe. 

My sister's husband just retired from full-time military service a few years ago.  Neither he nor my brother talk about their experiences at all. My brother was involved in Desert Storm and was part of the first group with their feet on the ground - he is VERY close to his Brothers and they meet up regularly, but he will not discuss his time there with anyone else. His standpoint is that no one else could ever understand what they went through, and I believe him and respect his perspective.  

DH will go out of his way to thank enlisted and veterans for their service - his brother was in Vietnam and while he survived, he didn't come home whole in any way and was unable to transition to civilian life. Please thank your battle-scarred veteran from both of us for his service, he obviously loves and trusts you very much to share his history with you, despite how difficult it was for you to hear it. The damage goes deep and along with you, I feel for our enlisted and the dangers that they face, today now more than ever. 

Wanted to add that watching my daughter graduate from Boot Camp was overwhelming, I sobbed along with every other parent in the stadium - it was seriously the most moving celebration I have ever witnessed and I watch the video over and over again and cry again every time.  The hearts of every parent there swelled with unbelievable pride with what our children had accomplished and continue to accomplish as members of our nation's military. 

[Deleted]

daisy Thank you! I will tell DBF that one of my friends that live in my computer said ”thank you” for his service, from her and her husband.

I will include your military family members (active duty AND veteran) in my prayers.

I can imagine that watching your child graduate from Boot Camp is a moment of great pride. I don’t remember my friend’s Mom expressing how proud she was of her son.... it was over 30 years ago, but I’m sure she was very proud of him. She drove for hours with me and my friend in tow, to get there so she could witness that moment.

[Gardening Grandma]

Pink cashmere
Thank you for what you do for our service people. Thank you  for caring.

I was so proud when grandson graduated from boot camp. The Navy has been good for him and he’s thrived there, but I am terrified for his safety

[Anne_in_VA]

Thank you pink for a very touching post. My former BIL served in Vietnam and came home different than when he left, not always in a good way, but he has persevered and is now a wonderful person who has made a difference to many others. My DH is a Navy vet, and while he never served in any conflicts, knows many who did and we support veterans organizations that help those that need it.

Please tell your DBF thank you for his service from a vet’s wife.

[Chocolate Lover]

My dad served, but didn't get sent to Vietnam, he got to process film in Germany. I assume - but don't know because he doesn't share details - it was the same conflict, different job/area, since it was the early 70s, which was before I was born.

He spent the majority of his enlisted time in the state Army National Guard band, as did one of my sisters, who recently retired after 20 years. Her DH is in the Air Force so she didn't figure the 2 were compatible. 

Like you, I decided early it wasn't for me, and I appreciate anyone willing to serve.