Mental health help

[Mrs. Dinero]

Not sure what to do. 6+ weeks ago I asked what to do about my sister(depressed, eating disorder, and possible substance abuse). Many of you said let her figure it out. Well I've been doing that. I just received an e-mail from her work about how worried they are. I just listened and said there is only so much you can do without her harming herself or others. I hate not being able to help. Isn't there anything I can do?

[Waffle]

Have you tried talking to a mental health professional? I don't mean to get counseling - but to ask for his/her advice as to what options you might have. I know I have heard psychiatrists on tv talking about families forcing other family members into custody under certain circumstances so that the ill person can get help. Maybe your sister is in that place.

I hope things turn around.

[verrip1]

I think your best bet is to wait for Dr. Archie to reply.

[Mrs. Dinero]

So far the plan is to go over her house with my mom and talk to her about her medicine (or lack thereof), her behavior lately, and voice our concerns. I do not plan on mentioning her work e-mailing me or her close friend calling last month. I would like to go to the Dr. (the one that has prescribed her with all the Rx) with her and make sure she is telling the Dr the whole story. Not sure about this. I would love to talk to a professional about it. Just pick one out of the phone book and call?

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

If you think she's endangering herself or others, you might be able to do a legal intervention. Other than that, you really can't help a person that doesn't want it or won't admit there's a problem. Sorry, I know that sucks.

[Bluerobin]

If she is a danger to herself or others, she can be "committed" to a mental health institution. Start with your local help line.

If she seems really disturbed when you visit, call the ambulance, due to altered mental status. They can take it from there. If she is unstable in their opinion, they can have the police place her in protective custody if she will not go voluntarily.

[Deleted]

Is there an EAP where she works?

[Mad Dawg Wiccan]

<<I would like to go to the Dr. (the one that has prescribed her with all the Rx) with her and make sure she is telling the Dr the whole story. Not sure about this.>>


The doctor may listen to your concerns, but no way will he discuss her case or treatment.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Was the work email a friend there or their HR dept? Because the HR dept may be able to force her to go into treatment (or quit) but her boss would have to push the issue.

[Mrs. Dinero]

She had been seeing a therapist through her work's EAP. She is very sporadic with this as well.

The Dr is really a PA. This PA has prescribed her at least 3 different types of antidepressants over the last 2 years. Where is the follow up? Where is the accountability? I'm ticked about it.

It's a friend at work. Her boss's secretary. Her boss is aware of her problems because of the need for EAP.

[Opti]

What are the friend's worried about? What is she doing or not doing besides
not taking medication.

Is PA a physician's assistant?

[lulubean]

Unfortunately I just got called today by my friend who is a drug addict. I know she wanted money however she won't ask but see if I offer and I won't. You can't help her.

[Mrs. Dinero]

Yes, PA is physicians assistant. A Dr that changes anti depressants in a patient so much should be followed up on by a therapist. ?? I don't know. The friends are worried about her behavioral changes. Excessive crying, mood swings, drinking too much, not taking meds then taking a xanax, and being preoccupied (consumed)with herself.

The eating disorder is not from loss of appetite. She has had bulimia for years. She uses 8 -10 super dieters tea bags at a time...stuff like that.

[sheilaincali]

Mrs Dinero- just reading this thread I have a couple of comments. First off- your sister should see a psychiatrist for her medications. It could be that she is bi-polar or something similar to that. DH is bi-polar. If you put a bi polar person on anti-depressants without fixing the bi polar problem the anti-depressants can cause even more problems. The way it was explained to me was this: bi polar causes the brain to be off track. It needs to be back on track (with the help of meds) before meds like anti-depressants can begin to work.
DH's regular doctor kept upping his anti-depressants strength. It was a friend that was a psychologist that said DH needed to see a "medicine man".
Once DH was on his meds for the bi-polar then they started him on the anti-depressants. In conjunction with all of his meds he did therapy with a psychologist.

You can talk to her therapist or her doctor but like another said they may listen to you but they won't tell you anything. But be careful because they may tattle and tell your sister that you called them. If she is already upset with you that will add fuel to that fire.

[Opti]

"The eating disorder is not from loss of appetite. She has had bulimia for years. She uses 8 -10 super dieters tea bags at a time...stuff like that. "

Yikes. Is she one of those people who believe her life would be better just if she were thin enough? I agree with MM that treating the eating disorder first is probably the way to go. Weird diets and bad nutrition can cause or make depression worse.

A physician's assistant prescribing anti-depressants would worry me. Psychiatrists often take a while to get it right in most patients and they at least have had more study and experience with those kinds of meds.

[Opti]

If you put a bi polar person on anti-depressants without fixing the bi polar problem the anti-depressants can cause even more problems. The way it was explained to me was this: bi polar causes the brain to be off track. It needs to be back on track (with the help of meds) before meds like anti-depressants can begin to work.

Bi-polar means the person exhibits behavior of depression and mania, hence two poles of behavior versus just depression which is sometimes
referred to as uni-polar depression. Treatment really depends on the severity of the condition, how often the person switches from depression to mania - daily, cycle time in months, cycle time in years, etc. If it is a cycle that may be more than a year in length and the person is currently in the depressed phase treating the manic phase at that time is not very critical.

I do think the person prescribing the drugs needs to have knowledge and monitor the person closely. Anti-depressants can cause a uni-polar depression to become a bi-polar one. Prozac and other drugs can cause people to become suicidal or very self-involved if they are on it too long for their particular body chemistry. For fun, read the side effects of some of these medications. Some of them have side effects that cause the exact symptoms they are supposed to cure.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

She could also be mixing different types of anti-depressents at the same time if she's had so many different prescriptions filled, so they may be causing averse side effects if taken with each other - and that could also be the reason for her most recent behavior. The dosages may also be wrong for her condition. It sounds like she needs to be properly re-evaluated and put on the PROPER medications/dosages for her symptoms. She also should continue regular psych and physican visits to keep her condition stabilized.

[thyme4change]

I would love to talk to a professional about it. Just pick one out of the phone book and call?

Do you have an EAP at your work? You could call them and ask for advice.

[Mrs. Dinero]

Update: my mom & I went over her house last night. It went surprisingly well. She came clean about everything. The guy she most recently was seeing was giving her adderall (ADD med). I told her that mom and I need to know what she is taking and who her Drs are. She is receptive to it. I am going with her to the Dr today (she said she's an MD and not a PA like I thought). I want to go to this initial appointment for support and make sure all areas are addressed with the Dr. I don't think the Dr has a clue as to what life is really like for her. I would like to ask her if she has a reference for a psychiatrist for her to see. She is going on 7+ years of this yo-yo life. Anything else I should address with the Dr?

[Opti]

I'd like to know why your sister said she took the ADD meds.

[Mrs. Dinero]

She's a self professed "pill popper". Anything that will take her away mentally for awhile she's interested in.

[swamp]

Apr 7, 2011 13:41:10 GMT -5 Opti said:

I'd like to know why your sister said she took the ADD meds.

Weight loss. They're speed.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

When I was looking into professional help for my brother he would pretty much need to threaten to harm himself right in the ER (or already done it before arriving) or threaten someone else in front of people (or already hurt someone) before we could involuntarily commit him. "Suspicion" on our part is not enough.

Then there is a HUGE questionaire he would have to take before he could even be committed.

Then he is over 18, unless he filled out the forms no one could talk about his care once he is admitted.

It's not as easy to commit someone as the television makes it out to be, especially against their own will. If they are of "sound mind" then even if you think they are on the highway to hell you can't get them any help. They have to walk in and do it themselves.

Easier said than done.

[sheilaincali]

drama- I hope your brother got the help he needed.

Karma to you

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I have no idea, I gave the information to him and then I got the hell out becuase every time I try to help it backfires in my face.

Part of the problem is my brother is someone who expects others to do things FOR him and we can't get thru to him that he is an adult now (he'll be turning 21 next week), he has to do it himself. He wants us to do it as "proof" that we love him.

He's got issues and a lot of them are "I don't wanna grow up" entitlement problems that everyone YM loves to hate.

Seems to be better, he's talking about school again. So who knows. I don't ask because I don't want to be sucked back in.

ETA: I have never thought my brother is a danger to himself or others, that is just how the person on the phone explained it to me. Short of him doing those things once he is 18 or older other people cannot "make" him get help or even assist in getting him help beyond getting some phone numbers and web sites.

It sucks because that person has to WANT to get the help. You can't force a legal adult of "sound mind" (which is debatable, IMHO) to get mental help of any kind.

It'd have to be pretty extreme for me or my parents to be able to step in and force the issue and even then unless we have POA he would be 100% in control of his care.

POA on someone against their will is also damn hard to get.

You can talk to a psychiatrist about it but in the end the person you are doing the search for has to do it themselves in the majority of cases.

In the OP's case I am pretty sure the same thing applies that unless she/her parents are granted POA of her sister they aren't going to be able to be active particpants in her care, let alone force her to get it.

If she bails out of it again, they are pretty much stuck.

[sheilaincali]

Sorry Drama- I completely understand. There are large pools of subjects that I don't bring up at family gatherings because then you just get sucked back in.

My ExSIL cries suicidal every time she wants a break from the kids (50/50 custody with my brother). I am not criticizing mentally ill or depressed people but the woman sees committing herself into the psych ward as a vacation. She has done it 4 times in the past 10 months. Always when she feels she isn't getting enough attention from my brother or her mom. Or one of the sleazy guys she hooks up with says he is married or breaks up with her.

We have a decent half way house type setting here and she goes there for a long weekend every couple of months and then she has her mom come check her out and take her shopping to "cheer" her up and all is well for another couple of month.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My brother does that every time he thinks he isn't getting enough attention. Hasn't done it recently as far as I know (because he calls my DH to announce it), but it pisses me off because of how badly it upsets my parents when he does it. You are 99% he is bluffing in order to get you to jump thru his hoops, but what if this time it is that 1%.

Short of him actually attempting it though he can parade around threatening it all he wants and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I told DH that maybe a stint in a psych ward would get the little shit to stop emotionally blackmailing my parents once he sees where actual suicidal people go.

[sheilaincali]

Drama- you may be on to something. If he sees how serious it is maybe it will shape him up a little

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

We've called them before, the qualifying list to get in is a mile long and after DH talked with them there is no way my brother would be considered "ill" enough to be sent there.

[TheOtherMe]

It sounds to me like your sister needs a psychiatrist to be prescribing her medications since she has both depression and bulimia.

I have depression and anorexia and everybody is afraid to tell me now it's time to lose weight. Afraid I will go back to the anorexic behavior. It's easy to fall back.

After much trial and error, I finally found a psychiatrist who figured out the right combination of anti-depressants for me and my body. I don't get bummed out like I used to except very, very rarely. Doc said nobody is happy all the time.

I wish you luck with your sister and hope her job isn't in jeopardy. It sounds like they care. My last boss with the federal government didn't believe in depression and forced me to retire before I was ready. On my last day of work, I told him I hoped no one in his family ever went down this road.