tractor
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Post by tractor on May 10, 2019 6:53:49 GMT -5
I may have mentioned this before, but today my son has his pre-surgical appointment for some reconstructive surgery on his upper and lower jaws. We have been preparing for this for almost three years, and now we’re only a couple of weeks away. Everyone says it’s no big deal, but he’s my boy and my irrational fears are really starting to set in.
He will be at the University of Michigan medical center, so one of the best in the country to have both of his jaws “broken” and adjusted by over an inch. They tell us his whole face structure will change by the time he heals up. I hope it goes just like they say, but I just can’t stop being worried about it and part of me wants to scream “stop! He’s fine, just the way he is”.
How do you get through such things? I’m a grown man and he’s an “adult” but I’m still stressing about it.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on May 10, 2019 7:03:13 GMT -5
As long as your DS on onboard to get this done, be positive. Save your tears/fear for after they wheel him into the operating room. I personally pray over these situations, but have friends who do meditation, etc., to get themselves through the worst. IMHO, it's almost scarier when your kids have to go through something, than when it's yourself. It sounds like you have the very best doing his surgery, which is all any parent can do. Hang in there!
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on May 10, 2019 7:30:58 GMT -5
tractor I was very nervous when my then three year old had her tonsils and adenoids removed. There's something very frightening about knowing your child is under general anesthesia. At the same time, it sounds as if your son is in very good hands. For your son to willingly have surgery to break his jaws he must be very unhappy with his appearance. Best wishes.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on May 10, 2019 7:55:05 GMT -5
tractor I was very nervous when my then three year old had her tonsils and adenoids removed. There's something very frightening about knowing your child is under general anesthesia. At the same time, it sounds as if your son is in very good hands. For your son to willingly have surgery to break his jaws he must be very unhappy with his appearance. Best wishes. For the record, it’s not being done strictly for aesthetic reasons, he has an extreme overbite due to poor jaw alignment, not only can’t he eat spaghetti, it causes sleep apnea and can result in breathing difficulties as he gets older. His lower jaw will be pulled forward over 1-inch and his upper plate will be straightened (it’s tilted to one side). As a side benefit, his jaw will be more prominent giving his face a whole new shape.
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gs11rmb
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Post by gs11rmb on May 10, 2019 8:00:10 GMT -5
tractor I was very nervous when my then three year old had her tonsils and adenoids removed. There's something very frightening about knowing your child is under general anesthesia. At the same time, it sounds as if your son is in very good hands. For your son to willingly have surgery to break his jaws he must be very unhappy with his appearance. Best wishes. For the record, it’s not being done strictly for aesthetic reasons, he has an extreme overbite due to poor jaw alignment, not only can’t he eat spaghetti, it causes sleep apnea and can result in breathing difficulties as he gets older. His lower jaw will be pulled forward over 1-inch and his upper plate will be straightened (it’s tilted to one side). As a side benefit, his jaw will be more prominent giving his face a whole new shape. Sounds like a very good reason to have surgery. Good luck to him for a speedy recovery.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on May 10, 2019 8:11:49 GMT -5
I think it's normal to be nervous even though you've spent years preparing and doing your research. It sounds like it will greatly improve his quality of life.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 10, 2019 8:46:10 GMT -5
Your feelings are normal.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on May 10, 2019 11:51:01 GMT -5
Your feelings are normal. x2
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engineerdoe
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Post by engineerdoe on May 10, 2019 11:57:43 GMT -5
I may have mentioned this before, but today my son has his pre-surgical appointment for some reconstructive surgery on his upper and lower jaws. We have been preparing for this for almost three years, and now we’re only a couple of weeks away. Everyone says it’s no big deal, but he’s my boy and my irrational fears are really starting to set in. He will be at the University of Michigan medical center, so one of the best in the country to have both of his jaws “broken” and adjusted by over an inch. They tell us his whole face structure will change by the time he heals up. I hope it goes just like they say, but I just can’t stop being worried about it and part of me wants to scream “stop! He’s fine, just the way he is”. How do you get through such things? I’m a grown man and he’s an “adult” but I’m still stressing about it. He will always be your baby. Commandeer the coffee machine in the waiting room, that's what my mom and friend did for my 14 hour surgery (major neck dissection (first of two such surgeries)).
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 10, 2019 12:01:37 GMT -5
I think it's normal to be nervous even though you've spent years preparing and doing your research. It sounds like it will greatly improve his quality of life. This. We can all tell you not to worry, but you'll still worry. It's normal.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 10, 2019 12:27:15 GMT -5
How is your son doing? My only suggestion is that if you feel your son has done his due diligence in choosing his surgeon and course of treatment, then not show your nervousness to him. He is depending upon your support including being able to help calm his doubts. I was very lucky in that when my mom was with me, she was capable of keeping me distracted and from climbing the walls. My mom was a phenomenal advocate for what I needed when I could not advocate for myself, and that’s what you need to do for your son. It’s all about not letting your son see you sweat. Good luck.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on May 10, 2019 16:11:28 GMT -5
I may have mentioned this before, but today my son has his pre-surgical appointment for some reconstructive surgery on his upper and lower jaws. We have been preparing for this for almost three years, and now we’re only a couple of weeks away. Everyone says it’s no big deal, but he’s my boy and my irrational fears are really starting to set in. He will be at the University of Michigan medical center, so one of the best in the country to have both of his jaws “broken” and adjusted by over an inch. They tell us his whole face structure will change by the time he heals up. I hope it goes just like they say, but I just can’t stop being worried about it and part of me wants to scream “stop! He’s fine, just the way he is”. How do you get through such things? I’m a grown man and he’s an “adult” but I’m still stressing about it. liquor?
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debthaven
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Post by debthaven on May 10, 2019 16:18:53 GMT -5
If you live to be 100 and he's 75, he'll still be your beloved son. Adulthood has nothing to do with it. It's normal to be nervous. Sounds like you've all done your research and it should go well. Thinking of you, your son and your family. Please update!
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on May 10, 2019 16:24:17 GMT -5
Tractor, it's OK to be nervous. He's your child, after all. He'll be fine. What's worse is having a very small child undergo surgery...they have no idea what's going on, and are usually terrified. It's heartbreaking when your little kid has to go under the knife.
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Rukh O'Rorke
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Post by Rukh O'Rorke on May 10, 2019 16:27:16 GMT -5
Of course you're nervous!!
Hugs to you and your son!!
Wishing him an easy procedure and quick healing with a great outcome.
❤️
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 10, 2019 16:34:08 GMT -5
tractor-how old is your son and does he understand what is about to happen?
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 10, 2019 17:36:12 GMT -5
Don't beat yourself up for your feelings. There are probably thousands of people out there willing to do that for you. The unknown can be incredibly scary. Try to find something else to focus on, even if it's only briefly. I hope everything goes well.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on May 10, 2019 19:12:38 GMT -5
tractor-how old is your son and does he understand what is about to happen? He’s 18, so yes...
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 10, 2019 19:49:31 GMT -5
tractor-how old is your son and does he understand what is about to happen? He’s 18, so yes... Just be there when he wakes up. You will both be thankful you were there.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on May 10, 2019 20:05:58 GMT -5
Thank you to everyone for your comments. It was a long day, but everything seems to have worked out, the staff was wonderful and willing to answer any questions we had. The hardest part now will be pain control and having both jaws immobilized for the next six weeks. They tell us the first week will be the worst.
No straws allowed, just a pure liquid diet that he has to be able to sieve through his teeth. My biggest concern now is going to be keeping what little weight he does have on his body (he’s 5’9” and 104 lbs).
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on May 10, 2019 20:28:04 GMT -5
Oh my, he is thin. I'm sure it will be tough for a few weeks but this sounds like a procedure that was sorely needed. Hope he is able to eat better and his issues are corrected. And heck while we are at it I hope it improves him aesthetically too if that is what he wants.
Tell him a whole herd of old YMers are rooting for him too!
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obelisk
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Post by obelisk on May 10, 2019 20:49:10 GMT -5
Thank you to everyone for your comments. It was a long day, but everything seems to have worked out, the staff was wonderful and willing to answer any questions we had. The hardest part now will be pain control and having both jaws immobilized for the next six weeks. They tell us the first week will be the worst. No straws allowed, just a pure liquid diet that he has to be able to sieve through his teeth. My biggest concern now is going to be keeping what little weight he does have on his body (he’s 5’9” and 104 lbs). One day at a timewith God Speed. Whishing all the best with your son.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2019 22:01:37 GMT -5
I'm glad he got through the surgery. My niece had something similarly drastic years ago- basically her jaw wasn't big enough for all her teeth and she couldn't close her mouth all the way. They pulled a few teeth in the back before the surgery. She had a hard time with recovery- had nausea and got dehydrated and was throwing up, which had to be awful with the jaws wired shut- but she's 37 now and she's beautiful.
Please keep us posted.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on May 11, 2019 7:02:41 GMT -5
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ken a.k.a OMK
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Nervous
May 11, 2019 11:14:22 GMT -5
Post by ken a.k.a OMK on May 11, 2019 11:14:22 GMT -5
Thank you to everyone for your comments. It was a long day, but everything seems to have worked out, the staff was wonderful and willing to answer any questions we had. The hardest part now will be pain control and having both jaws immobilized for the next six weeks. They tell us the first week will be the worst. No straws allowed, just a pure liquid diet that he has to be able to sieve through his teeth. My biggest concern now is going to be keeping what little weight he does have on his body (he’s 5’9” and 104 lbs). Best wishes for your son. Sounds like what our son had done at 20. Shaved off part of his jaw to realign. He was wired shut and had to carry wire cutters with him.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on May 11, 2019 13:34:17 GMT -5
I may have mentioned this before, but today my son has his pre-surgical appointment for some reconstructive surgery on his upper and lower jaws. We have been preparing for this for almost three years, and now we’re only a couple of weeks away. Everyone says it’s no big deal, but he’s my boy and my irrational fears are really starting to set in. He will be at the University of Michigan medical center, so one of the best in the country to have both of his jaws “broken” and adjusted by over an inch. They tell us his whole face structure will change by the time he heals up. I hope it goes just like they say, but I just can’t stop being worried about it and part of me wants to scream “stop! He’s fine, just the way he is”. How do you get through such things? I’m a grown man and he’s an “adult” but I’m still stressing about it. I pray that God will guide the surgeon's hand. There is minimal pain and bleeding with a quick, easy recovery. And the peace of Jesus Christ for you ad the rest of the family. Amen.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 14, 2019 2:47:24 GMT -5
I may have mentioned this before, but today my son has his pre-surgical appointment for some reconstructive surgery on his upper and lower jaws. We have been preparing for this for almost three years, and now we’re only a couple of weeks away. Everyone says it’s no big deal, but he’s my boy and my irrational fears are really starting to set in. He will be at the University of Michigan medical center, so one of the best in the country to have both of his jaws “broken” and adjusted by over an inch. They tell us his whole face structure will change by the time he heals up. I hope it goes just like they say, but I just can’t stop being worried about it and part of me wants to scream “stop! He’s fine, just the way he is”. How do you get through such things? I’m a grown man and he’s an “adult” but I’m still stressing about it. I pray that God will guide the surgeon's hand. There is minimal pain and bleeding with a quick, easy recovery. And the peace of Jesus Christ for you ad the rest of the family. Amen. What a nice thing to say! Straight from the pages of Hallmark- or could be. I'm not overly religious, but I really liked it! Nice!
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engineerdoe
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Post by engineerdoe on May 14, 2019 12:43:01 GMT -5
Thank you to everyone for your comments. It was a long day, but everything seems to have worked out, the staff was wonderful and willing to answer any questions we had. The hardest part now will be pain control and having both jaws immobilized for the next six weeks. They tell us the first week will be the worst. No straws allowed, just a pure liquid diet that he has to be able to sieve through his teeth. My biggest concern now is going to be keeping what little weight he does have on his body (he’s 5’9” and 104 lbs). I didn't realize no straws, that is going to be difficult. High calorie Ensure or something similar will help to at least keep weight loss to a minimum. He doesn't have much to lose as it is. I wish I knew some special recipe for something that would help him keep the weight on. I just googled high calorie liquid diet and they suggest using the full fat version of milk and other dairy products (hopefully he isn't lactose intolerant) and to just make sure what ever he is eating is nutrient dense. They also suggest to eat more often so maybe 6 "meals" a day.
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chapeau
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Nervous
May 14, 2019 20:12:29 GMT -5
Post by chapeau on May 14, 2019 20:12:29 GMT -5
When my grandfather was near the end, mom used chicken broth by the gallon, including cooking noodles to mush in it, then put more broth in the blender with the noodles and overcooked veggies on the liquify setting. She also made the gravy for chicken and waffles with extra broth and pureed the heck out of that. He said it was one of the best things he'd eaten in the hospital. (I'm not sure that was a true compliment ) I think the pureed lemon meringue pie was an epic failure, but it was almost 20 years ago. I know she did make lots of pudding for him, then put extra milk in to make it even runnier. I think she used knox gelatin to put extra calories in some stuff, too, although protein powder might taste and work better.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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May 14, 2019 20:31:43 GMT -5
Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on May 14, 2019 20:31:43 GMT -5
How's recovery going?
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