happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Feb 8, 2019 13:03:15 GMT -5
DS is now thirty, but when he was small, he had one major extra curricular, usually a sport. He got to chose, and got to quit when he got tired of it and try something else. He had a lot of 'unscheduled' time to hang around with the kids in the neighborhood, which I think worked out for him.
I don't like how some parents obsess over this kind of thing. Our BIL is highly competitive and complained about paying for his daughter to attend gymnastic classes since she wasn't progressing through the different levels as fast as he thought she should. She like doing them for fun, he doesn't seem to think sports should ever be 'fun' - it's all about crushing your opponents.
Even if your kid sucks at a sport, just be glad he/she likes to get out and run around...
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 8, 2019 13:12:01 GMT -5
I think it depends on the kid. Three of our four kids loved activities and being involved with sports and groups. My older daughter we had to place limits on for financial and time reasons. My younger daughter is actually quite good at knowing what her own limits are.
Parentally, I required my kids to also have academic extra-curriculars.
I have a relative who made her son do sports. He’s so not an athlete. Everyone seems to know it but her. Poor kid trying to play flag football was not a good situation. I don’t know that that is over-scheduling or not honoring who your kid is.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 8, 2019 13:20:18 GMT -5
There is something to be said for someone else teaching your kids. I'm a former competitive swimmer, but my kids didn't listen to me about swimming. I can also skate pretty well, but they didn't want anything to do with me teaching them. And of course, moms don't know how to play baseball ((eyeroll)) Ermegerd. I swam competitively and did the whole lifeguard/swim teacher thing. I had DD#1 competing at age four because she was at the pool with me anyway. Could not for the life of me get DD#2 to go in a pool with out her having a fit. At age six, DH finally got her to put her face in the flipping water. At age eight, I put her in lessons with other people. So annoying. Then with DD #1, I was an ELA teacher and literacy instructional coach. But did my kid pass her seventh grade state writing test—nope!
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 8, 2019 13:22:19 GMT -5
I think a lot of parents overschedule themselves as I hear a lot of stories how they run themselves ragged every night after work trying to get their kids to multiple activities. My parents forced me to be in almost all things sports and music through So year of high school. My Jr year I rebelled and quit all but one thing. This kind of happened with DS#2. DH was coaching all the things, so the boys played all the things. DS#2 is the least athletic of all four of our kids and he just finally gave up because he wasn’t enjoying himself. No one forced him to play any sports though. DH was coaching regardless.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 8, 2019 13:24:18 GMT -5
I think parents are feeling guilty about not being around. When I was a kid we walked to baseball practice. Parents are tiring themselves to entertain the kids.What ever happened to "When you get home" these are your chores My kids still have/had chores.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 8, 2019 13:25:06 GMT -5
Who says kids who do activities don't have to do chores? Mine do plenty of chores. And if you ask them, they do EVERYTHING around the house!!!! DD#2 told us once, probably around age 10, that we treated her like Cinderella. 🙄🙄🙄
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 8, 2019 13:26:27 GMT -5
he's also getting potential job skills. The little league soccer league uses HS kids as referees. I think they get paid $20 a game. What sold me on the dojo we go to is that there is a decent amount of peer instruction. That is a skill that ds needs help developing on receiving and giving. Plus, they have a couple teen instructors that the kids adore so I'm going to tap them for potential babysitters. Being able to teach someone else is the best demonstration of one’s own learning.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Feb 8, 2019 14:00:08 GMT -5
I'm on the fence about this. I remember being in activities as a kid, but I also remember years of playing with kids in the neighborhood. I'd like DS to have both, but no one plays outside anymore because everyone is at sports/academic lessons/practice. Right now DS is only doing swim lessons. He is 7.5 years old. I'd love to get him into a STEM club as well, but finances are a real concern as well as transportation to/from activities. Once my mom retires and moves up here I'll have some more help with childcare and activity transportation, so we can re-evaluate at that time. For now swim is just fine. I'd like to get him into Scouts next year too. I'd be 100% happy if he just did swimming and Scouts for a few years.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Feb 8, 2019 14:57:01 GMT -5
DD is only 2 so we are at the beginning phase of this... and for us it is more about having a child that is well rounded vs feeling guilty.
We don’t know what she will like or will be passionate about so until then we are doing a mix of tries. For now she goes to Gymboree 2-3 nights a week and it is mostly For the social aspect and being around other kids. In the fall she will start ballet and looking for a gymnastic opening (waitlisted now); swimming summer.
I always wanted to learn how to play piano and I hope it is something we can do together (take lessons).
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Feb 8, 2019 15:40:54 GMT -5
I'm on the fence about this. I remember being in activities as a kid, but I also remember years of playing with kids in the neighborhood. I'd like DS to have both, but no one plays outside anymore because everyone is at sports/academic lessons/practice. Right now DS is only doing swim lessons. He is 7.5 years old. I'd love to get him into a STEM club as well, but finances are a real concern as well as transportation to/from activities. Once my mom retires and moves up here I'll have some more help with childcare and activity transportation, so we can re-evaluate at that time. For now swim is just fine. I'd like to get him into Scouts next year too. I'd be 100% happy if he just did swimming and Scouts for a few years.
I don't remember what the ages are for everything but the Boy started doing STEM summer camps around that age which he enjoyed. But as far as it as a regular activity look into Lego First Robotics League. Stephen really enjoyed that when he did it. They also have smaller VEX robotics clubs for the elementary school aged crowd. Just depends on if your particular area participates. Not sure if that's what you are looking for or not.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Feb 8, 2019 15:49:56 GMT -5
I also think there's a ton more opportunity to try new things than when I was growing up... Ultimate Frisbee wasn't around. Girls couldn't join boys scouts. STEM camps? Sure I went to a few science camps..but all of that seems to antiquated now. Fishing or water sports camp? Come ON. Goodness. In the midwest swimming in the winter was a huge treat. It wasn't a real "thing" to do as a big activity. There weren't Magic The Gathering or Pokemon clubs at school. Even if you said "kiddie golfing." most everyone would think "oh she meant mini-golf...not actually teaching a 6 year old the game."
Computer classes consisted of playing lemonade stand, oregon trail, and keyboarding. If you wanted to learning a foreign language/culture, you got cassette tapes and hoped your 7th grade pen pal would keep writing to you.
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chapeau
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Post by chapeau on Feb 8, 2019 19:05:56 GMT -5
She wants to take piano, but I’m having trouble finding a piano teacher who isn’t expecting all of his students to be Juilliard quality. How can they expect anything from someone that's never played before? Yeah, exactly. The one guy in our town who teaches piano expects the child and parent to sign a contract promising to practice for a set amount of time every night, but that isn’t always feasible. Yes, there has to be practice, but I’m not committing a 6 year old to more time playing the piano than she (should) spend doing homework each night. The very old lady that taught just about every kid I town to play chopsticks and heart and soul finally retired last year. That is what I wanted DD to start with.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 8, 2019 19:06:44 GMT -5
My kid are four and eight, a tad young to be walking to activities even if "back in my day" people allegedly did so. There is also the fact that our city has continued to move things further and further out, giving tax incentives for businesses to move into unincorporated areas. Even if i wanted them to walk there is no way they can safely cross half the town and three interstates. It's going to be a real problem as the population continues to age and nothing is within driving distance and our bus system was gutted because the city did not want to spend money on "eyesores" If they do activities in middle school and high school then they can walk since we are close to both.
Right now Gwen takes tap and gymnastics. Abby takes gymnastics. Gwen wants to play cello but I told her she can wait till th grade when they learn in music class. IF she is still interested in two years I figure it'll be worth looking into classes.
We run into the same problem Thyme does that everything here is for profit. There aren't many community type programs that are inexpensive and not a massive time suck. A friend of mine has been trying to start a non-profit soccer league for kids who just want to have fun/learn but has faced a major uphill battle. I just can't afford to have them do a ton of things a month. We tried karate but that was running close to $100+ a month when you add up class costs AND we had to pay for every level she advanced. The first dance studio was inexpensive as far as classes but the recital fees were outrageous, the one we are at now is much more reasonable. So instead of multiple long term activities I have the kids pick one long term activity and I sprinkle single day classes in the mix. Gwen loves to take art classes at the museum. I need to check into the zoo classes again for Abby now that she is at an age where the courses are offered on weekends. I don't do it out of guilt. I do it because I enjoy watching them develop their skills. I can't draw my way out of a paper bag, the last major artist in my family was my great great aunt. She's come home with things that if I ever get around to it I plan on framing.
There is also no way I could teach them gymnastics safely. If I tried to do some of the things I've watched Gwen do I'd end up in the ER. Youtube doesn't cut it for stuff like that, she needs someone who knows what they are doing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 8, 2019 19:26:46 GMT -5
How can they expect anything from someone that's never played before? Yeah, exactly. The one guy in our town who teaches piano expects the child and parent to sign a contract promising to practice for a set amount of time every night, but that isn’t always feasible. Yes, there has to be practice, but I’m not committing a 6 year old to more time playing the piano than she (should) spend doing homework each night. The very old lady that taught just about every kid I town to play chopsticks and heart and soul finally retired last year. That is what I wanted DD to start with. That's too bad. Carrot started at 5 and I was asking the teacher how much time to have him practice a day and he said not to ask for more than a few minutes a day and if he wasn't feeling it, just to let it go. That it should just be about fun at that age. He'll be 9 this Summer and while I usually push him to practice everyday it's rarely more than 20 minutes, sometimes just between 10 and 15, and I think he's coming along really well and more importantly still enjoys it almost 3 years later.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Feb 8, 2019 19:43:19 GMT -5
When I was a kid, I wanted to do all kinds of things, so I do encourage the kids to sign up for stuff. However, carting them around all week gets to be a chore, so my DH and I limit it for our own sanity. Also when I was a kid, I had gym 2 days a week and music 2 days a week. My kids only get 1, and I don't think that it's enough. I don't care if they're ever star athletes, but I want them to be active and learn how to improve themselves when learning something new. Also, I hate going outside, so we'd all hunker down inside a lot more if they weren't activities. They only have scouts at the moment, but I will be signing them up for 1 day/week indoor soccer very soon. They just finished basketball, which was just 1 day/week for the YDS, and 1 practice + 1 game/week for the ODS. I care about basketball, not even a little bit. But they ran around and got some energy out, which is really good for the wintertime here.
Little League is the worst. Sometimes 2 games/week times 2 kids can mean a game + scouts every weeknight sometimes. However, my ODS is going to be 9, so I will be letting him walk to practice by himself the 1/2 block + a corner that it is. That's the main reason I want them in LL--it's so damn close and convenient! Plus, I want them to have confidence playing in gym or whatever. I hated gym myself because I sucked and was yelled at all the time. If they're just good enough to have it be fun instead, I'll call that a win!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Feb 8, 2019 20:33:53 GMT -5
I have a different take on things. Around here, most of the activities are for-profit. They aren't run by the schools, or the churches. They are also single activity things. There is a soccer club, a baseball club, a basketball club, a dance studio, a gymnastics gym, etc. They need constant income to stay afloat. In order to attract kids, they need good coaches. And in order to get decent coaches they need to employ them year round. So, they lock down kids as early as they can. At a pretty early age my kids were in programs that advanced from an hour a week to 8 hours per week pretty quickly. And there weren't that many options. There are a few leagues that are dad coached and seasonal in the area. They were a big gamble, as some dads were awesome, and some had no clue. We tried to keep on the rotational sports thing, and allow for breaks during the year, but we found that our son was falling behind the kids who were year-round dedicated to one sport, playing many days per week. As a decent athlete it was frustrating to my son. So we just let him pick his sport, and found a good club, with a good coach, and he has to go to many practices per week. Right or wrong, it is standard in our peer group, so it is what it is. Hmm, if I'm remembering correctly we are in the same metro area. I wonder if things are different in the south-east valley or I'm just being naive because my kids haven't actually started in any activities yet. I've just been looking at tot stuff, parks and rec, B.E.S.T., and stuff offered by my HOA. I suppose it will probably get more competitive as they age up. It may be different in your area. But it started ramping up in about 2nd grade, and was fairly full blown by 4th or 5th grade.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Feb 8, 2019 20:34:11 GMT -5
How much do you adjust your household schedule to accommodate these activities? When DD was in gymnastics, we ate dinner at 9 pm 3 night a week. It was late, but that way we had dinner together.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Feb 8, 2019 22:02:43 GMT -5
How much do you adjust your household schedule to accommodate these activities? When DD was in gymnastics, we ate dinner at 9 pm 3 night a week. It was late, but that way we had dinner together.
Not much. We eat dinner before practices, for the most part. DD1's bb practice is from 6:30-8. DS's ultimate practice is at 7. Boy scouts also starts at 7, but cubs starts at 6. When I lead den activities, I do them after school, and they run about an hour. So we are done at 4:30. Cheer is a 2-3 hour block on Sunday afternoons. Games are done by 5 on Saturday and Sunday. There's no way we can eat at 9 pm. Only 1/4 of my kids is up past 9, and that's the teen. My 11 yo goes to bed at 9. We start the bedtime routine for the peanut at 7:15. PJs, brush teeth, some reading...with the goal that's she's asleep by 8.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 8, 2019 22:08:17 GMT -5
How much do you adjust your household schedule to accommodate these activities? When DD was in gymnastics, we ate dinner at 9 pm 3 night a week. It was late, but that way we had dinner together.
I would say we had two major adjustments: The first one was the crockpot. To make sure we were having real food, we had to switch to mostly crockpot meals for a few years. Part of that was because we were also commuting 45 minutes one-way to work.
The second major change was that the last two years of DD#2 dancing, she was never home for dinner. She'd eat in the car on the way home from dance. We'd talk then, but we also started having our family time during breakfast instead.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Feb 9, 2019 10:05:57 GMT -5
We didn't alter our schedule much. The dance studio has multiple class times so I picked ones that suited my schedule.
Their gymnastics classes are back to back. The only hiccup is I picked class times based on getting off at 2 from the hospital. I am back to getting off at 4 so I need to hustle. I started having the kids get ready before I arrive which helps.
I won't do activities that consume our lives. At their ages I don't see the point.
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tcu2003
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Post by tcu2003 on Feb 9, 2019 14:33:38 GMT -5
I feel like we’re over scheduled, but that it’s more a function of DH and I both being full-time working adults with careers that are sometimes busy at the same time. My kiddos are 6-1/2 (first grader) and almost 2-1/2.
Both kids do swim lessons year round and have since each was around 6 months old. Learning to swim is nonnegotiable for me. We will likely give DS a break from swimming lessons this summer as he knows the 4 strokes and corresponding kicks, and is working on refining his skills, so we will just make sure to get him plenty of time in the water at the neighborhood pool.
DS started City Rec soccer at 4, and is doing a for-profit indoor league for the first time this winter. He’ll be in a different non-city rec outdoor league for the first time this spring, but several of his elementary school friends are playing on the same team, so we opted to switch as well. Cost at this age is about the same as city rec, so we’ll see how it goes.
He’s also playing basketball for the first time, so that overlapped the second half of the season with indoor soccer. We’ll see if he wants to play next year - if he does, we’ll figure it out because at his age, I want him to try different things.
Baseball is happening again this spring - he’s played the last two years, and this year will be the first time in a non-City rec league. It’s technically a non-profit, but prices start drastically increasing after 2nd or 3rd grade, so if he doesn’t like it, we’ll stop or switch back to a neighboring town’s city rec league. He managed to get on a team with kids from his elementary school, which didn’t happen on the city rec league, so I’m happy that he’ll already have friends on the team and we know some of the parents.
At 2, DD only does swim. I’ll probably try to wait until closer to 4 before we add other activities, but we’ll see.
I do want both kids to take piano lessons, but right now, I’m having trouble finding a teacher who will take students DS’s age and that is relatively close.
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