your afternoon laugh...

[chiver78]

it's finally happened! my "fairy godmother" so to speak, has reached out with word of my divine luck in receiving an inheritance to keep it from some money-grubbing in-laws!  

now the question is - what sort of trouble do I find with it, since we all know I'm the last person to build churches and propagate the word of god.     helping widows and kids, that I can get behind. 

Dearest Beloved,


I greet you in the name of the Lord,

I am Mrs. Beatrice Potters from United Kingdom but now undergoing medical treatment in London. I was married to late Mr. (Potters) We were both married for eleven years without a child and that's the reason my late husband's relatives hates and wants me dead He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death, we were both very close as husband and wife and since his death I decided not to re-marry. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$26,000,000.00 (Twenty Six Million United States Dollars) with Standard Chartered Bank in United Kingdom, I will send you details as soon as you indicate your interest in claiming the funds.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next two months due to my cancer illness. Having known my condition and believing the doctor, I want interested firm, or individual that will receive and use this money to help orphanage homes, widows, building churches and propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.

Please do not fail to spread the funds across the globe as soon as you receive the money. It is more blessed to give than to receive, I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are fighting over the properties and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by their greedy attitude.

I shall hold my peace; I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health.

Note: that my attorney has the entire document which the funds was deposited with in his custody and they are relevant till date, I will also issue you a letter of authority/Power of Attorney that will make you the beneficiary of this fund. I want you to always pray for me because the lord is the only strength I have but my happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the GOD must serve him in spirit and truth.

Any delay in your reply will be detrimental and please assure me that you will act accordingly. Email: [e-mail]

Remain blessed in the name of the Lord.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Beatrice Potters

[andi9899]

You could pick me up and we could take a drunken tour of the US visiting select board members. We'd outsource the driving part since you have so much money that the bill we would run up for that would be chump change. Who's in?

[chiver78]

I am definitely in for that. 

[dannylion]

I question the late Mr. Potters' financial acumen.  It seems odd that someone who was able to amass the sum of $26,000,000.00 would then just deposit it in a bank.  There is no indication that it was invested in anything other than a deposit account.  


It was interesting that both Mr. and Mrs. Potters were married for 11 years.  Were they married to each other for those 11 years or what?  



Other than that and a small pronoun antecedent discrepancy that makes it difficult to determine whether it is the funds or the document deposited with the attorney that are/is "relevant till date" and the fact that Mrs. Potters does not seem to be aware that London is, in fact, in the United Kingdom, I see no problem with that message at all.  Looks entirely legit to me.  



Animal shelters are, technically, orphanages.  Just sayin'.  



Also, please buy me a Mercedez-Benz motorcar and a lifetime supply of fancy cheeses.  

[weltschmerz]

Write back, tell her you're an atheist, and will give the money to the Church of Satan.

[NastyWoman]

Sept 5, 2018 18:00:03 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Write back, tell her you're an atheist, and will give the money to the Church of Satan.

No, no, no, no, no. It's Mrs. B. Potters writing. Tell her that you will do everything in your power to make sure Peter Rabbits will be taken care of. 

Satan indeed. He might like to eat rabbit stew for all we know

[chiver78]

Sept 5, 2018 18:00:03 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Write back, tell her you're an atheist, and will give the money to the Church of Satan.

yass!

the other thing that jumped out at me, the email address. is co.jp in Japan somewhere? that's way far from either London or the United Kingdom.

[chiver78]

oh wait, there's more! and another .jp email address. what's that all about?!
 

Dear Friend,

First I must solicit your confidence in this transaction, this is by virtue of it's nature as being utterly confidential and top secret.Though I know that a transaction of this magnitude will make any one apprehensive and worried, but I am assuring you that this is real and genuine. I am Ms.Zoe Lau ,I work with the Citic Bank of China, I wish to place your name as the beneficiary to fifteen million three hundred thousand dollars only due to the death of the depositor who died years ago along with her family.

Following my idea that we can have a deal/agreement and I am going to do this legally with your name as the bonafide beneficiary of the amount in question by employing the service of a Chinese accredited attorney, who will handle all the legal documentations and lay claims through his legal authority on your behalf. Now the deal is 50% of this money will be for you, in respect to the provision of a foreign account and 50% would be for me as I have planned to come to your Country as soon as the transfer is completed.

I will need you to provide the following information urgently to enable the attorney start the processing of the all the relevant legal documents for the fund remittance.

1)Name:
2)Address:
3)Tel:
4)Age:
5)Sex:
6)Occupation Status:

Waiting for your reply soon.

Yours faithfully,
Ms.Zoe Lau

[dannylion]

I question Ms. Lau's intentions and credibility.  Anyone familiar with the Chinese legal system would be reluctant to rely on the services of even an "accredited" Chinese attorney.   


If you decide to reply, please consider listing your "Occupational Status" as "currently occupied by the spirit of a mediocre French chef of uncertain temperament."  Just because.  


Some people get the most interesting emails.  I get boring stuff from people who want to sell me furniture and vitamins.  

[chapeau]

Sept 10, 2018 9:28:22 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I question Ms. Lau's intentions and credibility.  Anyone familiar with the Chinese legal system would be reluctant to rely on the services of even an "accredited" Chinese attorney.   


If you decide to reply, please consider listing your "Occupational Status" as "currently occupied by the spirit of a mediocre French chef of uncertain temperament."  Just because.  


Some people get the most interesting emails.  I get boring stuff from people who want to sell me furniture and vitamins.  

I wish I got furniture and vitamins. All I get are ads for pharmaceuticals that enhance a body part I don’t have. I’m looking for a piece of furniture.

[NastyWoman]

Sept 5, 2018 15:19:58 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I question the late Mr. Potters' financial acumen.  It seems odd that someone who was able to amass the sum of $26,000,000.00 would then just deposit it in a bank.  There is no indication that it was invested in anything other than a deposit account.  


It was interesting that both Mr. and Mrs. Potters were married for 11 years.  Were they married to each other for those 11 years or what?  



Other than that and a small pronoun antecedent discrepancy that makes it difficult to determine whether it is the funds or the document deposited with the attorney that are/is "relevant till date" and the fact that Mrs. Potters does not seem to be aware that London is, in fact, in the United Kingdom, I see no problem with that message at all.  Looks entirely legit to me.  



Animal shelters are, technically, orphanages.  Just sayin'.  



Also, please buy me a Mercedez-Benz motorcar and a lifetime supply of fancy cheeses.  

Ohhh, I missed this reference. Mr. Potters must have been a higher authority, not just some mere money grubbing mortal:

♫    Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz
      My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends
      Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends
      So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ♫

[dannylion]

Sept 10, 2018 14:49:38 GMT -5 chapeau said:

Sept 10, 2018 9:28:22 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I question Ms. Lau's intentions and credibility.  Anyone familiar with the Chinese legal system would be reluctant to rely on the services of even an "accredited" Chinese attorney.   


If you decide to reply, please consider listing your "Occupational Status" as "currently occupied by the spirit of a mediocre French chef of uncertain temperament."  Just because.  


Some people get the most interesting emails.  I get boring stuff from people who want to sell me furniture and vitamins.  

I wish I got furniture and vitamins. All I get are ads for pharmaceuticals that enhance a body part I don’t have. I’m looking for a piece of furniture.

I get emails from Wayfair, West Elm, and Pottery Barn.  If you buy something from them, they apparently become your friends forever and like to keep in touch.  

My spam filter seems to eliminate most of the really interesting stuff.  

[Pants]

Sept 5, 2018 15:19:58 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I question the late Mr. Potters' financial acumen.  It seems odd that someone who was able to amass the sum of $26,000,000.00 would then just deposit it in a bank.  There is no indication that it was invested in anything other than a deposit account.  


It was interesting that both Mr. and Mrs. Potters were married for 11 years.  Were they married to each other for those 11 years or what?  



Other than that and a small pronoun antecedent discrepancy that makes it difficult to determine whether it is the funds or the document deposited with the attorney that are/is "relevant till date" and the fact that Mrs. Potters does not seem to be aware that London is, in fact, in the United Kingdom, I see no problem with that message at all.  Looks entirely legit to me.  



Animal shelters are, technically, orphanages.  Just sayin'.  



Also, please buy me a Mercedez-Benz motorcar and a lifetime supply of fancy cheeses.  

Oh Lord, won't you buy me
A Mercedes Benz? 
my friends all drive porsches 
I must make a-mends

ETA: Dammit, Nasty woman beat me. Stupid posting before reading the thread. 

[dannylion]

I deliberately did not make reference to that iconic anthem as the late, great Janis was silent therein on the topic of fancy cheeses.  Also, only one friend and a neighbor actually drive Porsches, so it seemed not entirely honest to evoke that particular rationale.  Most of my friends tend to drive either Subarus or Lexuses, and it seemed disrespectful to alter the lyrics just to suit my own circumstances as the song is perfect as it is.  So, I refrained from mentioning the song at all.   But I thought about it.  

[Opti]

Sept 10, 2018 14:49:38 GMT -5 chapeau said:

Sept 10, 2018 9:28:22 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I question Ms. Lau's intentions and credibility.  Anyone familiar with the Chinese legal system would be reluctant to rely on the services of even an "accredited" Chinese attorney.   


If you decide to reply, please consider listing your "Occupational Status" as "currently occupied by the spirit of a mediocre French chef of uncertain temperament."  Just because.  


Some people get the most interesting emails.  I get boring stuff from people who want to sell me furniture and vitamins.  

I wish I got furniture and vitamins. All I get are ads for pharmaceuticals that enhance a body part I don’t have. I’m looking for a piece of furniture.

Just shop for something on line or even for grins price out and build a vehicle you fantasize about. Suddenly PB and Yahoo if you use them, will start popping up ads based on what you recently looked at.

Since you mentioned furniture, I think I am excited about a possible new furniture store. Believe it or not, I think its something like Stickley Car_companyname coming soon.  Or so said a sign I may have misread. There is a Stickley museum out in Morris County, so it would be cool to me if indeed some sort of Stickley furniture is planning to open someday.

[Opti]

Sept 10, 2018 18:48:26 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I deliberately did not make reference to that iconic anthem as the late, great Janis was silent therein on the topic of fancy cheeses.  Also, only one friend and a neighbor actually drive Porsches, so it seemed not entirely honest to evoke that particular rationale.  Most of my friends tend to drive either Subarus or Lexuses, and it seemed disrespectful to alter the lyrics just to suit my own circumstances as the song is perfect as it is.  So, I refrained from mentioning the song at all.   But I thought about it.  

I have had friends with Porsches, which is why my Porsche craving grew stronger in college. I want cool cars because I want them though. I don't care if they match, show up, or look lamer than my friend's cars. I just want cool cars. Preferably multiple ... so I'll take a Mercedes, a Porsche, ...

There are Subarus here, but they are less common. And if you have the cooler ones your lights and your car are more likely to be stolen than most cars, so it comes with that added factor.