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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2011 20:05:31 GMT -5
DS sent this link to me...I watched it and cried for that poor child. Seems like this has become The American Way of Life and the more that no bullying is promoted, the worse it gets. What has become of us?
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Mar 31, 2011 20:13:55 GMT -5
That poor girl ! It seems that the girls are getting far more aggressive than the boys with bullying now. She "sounded" soooo sad! I can only imagine the pain she felt while making that video. I hope she's able to discuss this with family - it's too much for her to deal with alone.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 31, 2011 20:22:03 GMT -5
One of those placards said "I'm in guidance/therapy more than in my classes" so she's getting some help at least.
I sent the link to my g'kids.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Mar 31, 2011 20:23:36 GMT -5
that video gave me the chills, thank you for sharing it here. I saw a teaser this morning on the news when I was getting ready for work. I hope she finds support somewhere, be it family, those few friends she mentioned, or feedback from that youtube posting. it calls to mind a book I read awhile back - "Thirteen Reasons Why" - about HS bullying. missrigby, you might want to suggest it to your DS, and your grandkids. it's teen lit for sure, but eye-opening.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Mar 31, 2011 20:28:00 GMT -5
I saw that she's seeing a therapist too, Miss R. That may help her deal with her feelings, but it's not going to stop the bulliers.
THEY are the ones who should be receiving counselling - or more importantly, LECTURES - about how their actions are affecting others and can even possibly lead to tragedy. Words DO hurt.
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Malarky
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Post by Malarky on Mar 31, 2011 20:40:08 GMT -5
the more that no bullying is promoted, the worse it gets.
I definitely think that it's getting worse. The more we attempt to regulate every thought and action of our kids, the more they rebel against it and take it underground. Kids have always teased and bullied each other. I think it's part of human nature. I definitely think there's a time to step in but I think we do our kids a disservice if we never allow them to learn conflict resolution and to stand up for themselves. I am not condoning bullying, but there is a hierarchy in the adult world where those who are confident and stand up for themselves are successful. Maybe because they toughened up a bit as kids.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Mar 31, 2011 20:45:43 GMT -5
I think she is a popular and she is doing her part in stop the bulling campaign Kids are being creative, very creative to display their version of stop bulling campaign
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Mar 31, 2011 20:59:16 GMT -5
I really don't think it's any worse now than it has ever been, we just hear about it more in this "information age". I was a runt at her age (8th grade), and a favorite target of bullies. The only reason I didn't put a bullet through my head was because that would have meant the bullies had won, and I was too stubborn for that.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Mar 31, 2011 21:05:21 GMT -5
I don't think it's any worse than it's always been. We had a kid shoot himself in my junior high, and a girl stepped in front of a semi immediately after getting off the bus. This was in a pretty small town too, so not a huge student population. It's always been more common than most people want to admit.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Mar 31, 2011 21:28:10 GMT -5
Ban-Wagon!!
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ysi
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Post by ysi on Mar 31, 2011 21:50:42 GMT -5
Something that doesnt get commented on as much is the mothers. I hear mothers at work talking about their daughters-they seem to be proud of their sassy disrespectful promiscuous criminal behaviors. It gets worse not better with each successive generation from what I can tell. I never experienced it as a child, never experienced it as an adult, until "that generation" came along-suddenly it is in the workplace, not just the schools-THEY DONT OUTGROW IT AND IT IS UGLY.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Mar 31, 2011 21:51:56 GMT -5
I was bullied as a kid due to my ethnicity by this girl who was waaay bigger than me. I told my mother and she said tell your teacher so she can hear it. So the Bully and I are standing side by side and the Bully says in a soft voice 'I'm Going to kick your ass after school' Then I said in a loud voice 'OH, REALLY MONICA YOU WANNA BEAT ME UP AFTER SCHOOL!!!> The teacher heard this and nothing happened.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Mar 31, 2011 22:09:07 GMT -5
Snerd You seem rightly passionate about this. It is not just the kid but also the parent(s)
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 1, 2011 12:40:22 GMT -5
I agree.
One thing I heard is that bullies tend to pick on loners. I remember a couple of people that got bullied - they went out of their way to be "individuals." I'm not saying it was right that they got beat up - but I can (and I bet you can too, deep down in the places you don't want to admit to) understand how people who are purposely weird and annoying make you want to get nasty with them.
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Post by pig on Apr 1, 2011 12:42:05 GMT -5
"understand how people who are purposely weird and annoying make you want to get nasty with them. " You don't say?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 1, 2011 12:56:15 GMT -5
I think PARENTS are getting worse, like Pink's thread where it was the MOTHER who started the whole mess that got the kids suspended/expelled.
My parents would have kicked my ass if they discovered I was a bully. Like ysi said parents now seem to be taking pride in it and even worse PARTICIPATING.
It's stars and ends in the home. IF your parents don't care and even encourage the behavior there isn't much others can do about it.
I do think 24/7 access to social media also makes it worse. I have nothing against it personally, but the constant use of it by kids, IMO, isn't healthy.
You can't tune it out, at worst bullying would follow me to my front door. Once I am in the bullies can't get me. Now they can get you via Twitter, facebook, text messages etc.
Parents need to teach kids how to handle cyberbullies.
That's something I never had to deal with as a kid, who knows what will be around by the time DD is old enough to face down bullies.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Apr 1, 2011 13:13:16 GMT -5
Snerd - I agree with you. Parents need to know when to be there for their kids and when to back off. It's a gray area in every avenue of raising a child that a lot of parents seem to think is actually black and white.
Do you immediately pick up a toddler learning to walk just because she fell down on her rump? Or do you wait until she's actually been injured and crying her eyes out? Depending on the situation, it could be either option. I know I didn't pick my son up every time he fell, but I made sure he knew he could count on me to be there for him.
The same with bullying. I had 2 different incidences with my kids where the came to us and said they were being bullied. Both instances were over-blown dramas as far as we can tell.
The first, DSD said she was being bullied and her mom went ballistic asking why we weren't doing anything about it. After talking to DSD some more, we discovered she was claiming bullying because she wanted to sit with these 2 girls at lunch time and they said no (she was the new kid in class at the time). We had a hard time explaining to DSD and her Mom that what DSD was describing was in no way being bullied. Those girls didn't have to let DSD in on their friendship if they didn't want to. Sucks, but not everyone in life is friends.
The second, DSS said the boys in Jr High were picking on him and he was frustrated about it - almost in tears while telling us. After calming him down, we went through everything DSS could remember about what the boys had done to him. Everything was annoying, yes, but not really to the point of reporting to the principal or teachers (spit balls, hand santizier balled up in tissues and left in disgusting places, etc). After talking to him some more, we also got out of him that him and his friends had been doing similar things as well to these "bullies", only the boys retailiated with better "pranks" that got to DSS. We did let him know that we take bullying very seriously and that if it didn't stop (after he stopped first of course), we would take it to the teachers. We reminded him of another incident earlier in the school year where I had witnessed another kid getting bullied and I stepped in for that child. DSS remembered that and understood what we were telling him. We even gave him the opportunity to write down all of the abuse on a daily log so he could see if there was a pattern emerging with these other boys. DSS hasn't needed it since. I think he just needed to get his frustration out in the open and for someone to listen to him.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2011 13:21:11 GMT -5
I think PARENTS are getting worse, like Pink's thread where it was the MOTHER who started the whole mess that got the kids suspended/expelled. My parents would have kicked my ass if they discovered I was a bully. Like ysi said parents now seem to be taking pride in it and even worse PARTICIPATING. It's stars and ends in the home. IF your parents don't care and even encourage the behavior there isn't much others can do about it. I do think 24/7 access to social media also makes it worse. I have nothing against it personally, but the constant use of it by kids, IMO, isn't healthy. You can't tune it out, at worst bullying would follow me to my front door. Once I am in the bullies can't get me. Now they can get you via Twitter, facebook, text messages etc. Parents need to teach kids how to handle cyberbullies. That's something I never had to deal with as a kid, who knows what will be around by the time DD is old enough to face down bullies.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 1, 2011 13:26:28 GMT -5
I agree that cyberbullying is a new world and we need decent tactics to deal with that - like say, turning off the computer.
But, I'm not totally convinced that parents are worse than ever. There have always been good and bad parents and idiots raising kids. I remember watching a Dick VanDyke show where he confronted another parent because Richie and this other boy had been in a fight. The other parent was agressive and told Rob Petrie his boy was a whimp and threatened to beat up Rob, etc., etc. I know it was just a sitcom - but there must be a nugget of truth that there were some parents like that all the way back then.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 1, 2011 13:31:50 GMT -5
I don't really remember parents getting specfically involved with the kids though. Like that woman who cyberbullied a young girl or on Pink's thread.
I'll agree that there have always been bully parents, but I don't remember the parents doing the specific bullying of victim. Just not doing anything about their kids' behavior or seeing anything wrong with it.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 1, 2011 14:24:37 GMT -5
drama - you are smarter than that. I mean - sure, you heard a huge national story about a lady who was really psychotic, and can't remember anything like that from your youth. You shore that up with hearing another story with a bully mother that you would have never, ever heard if you weren't on this board - and that is your proof that the entire culture has changed? Come on - use your scientific brain better than that.
I remember a mom that chaperoned a bunch of our band trips. She didn't like me, and we had a couple of run-ins. She often had harsh words to my face, and one time physically grabbed me and wouldn't let go until someone else intervened. I know she said unkind things about me to her kid. I avoided both of them. I bet if I ever had a run-in with the kid, the mom would have been all over me.
People are really quite the same. Some people are able to control themselves and treat people kindly, and some people shoot their mouths off. Just because you didn't experience it doesn't mean it never happened. And just because now, all news is easily national (or world) news because of the Internet doesn't mean it happens more - just that you might hear about it more.
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Bluerobin
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Post by Bluerobin on Apr 1, 2011 14:37:09 GMT -5
My neighbor bragged that her DD got bullied, and flattened the bully!!! She is proud of her tough kid!
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Apr 1, 2011 15:25:15 GMT -5
A girl from my karate school got slapped by a boy at the public school. She was a High Green Belt and beat the shit out of him in front of all his friends.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Apr 1, 2011 15:48:37 GMT -5
There are 2 threads on bullying on EE. I'll post the news media series here, too. www.kfyrtv.com/Bullies.htmlJust because a person has odd or different mannerisms is zero reason to pick on them. Watch, listen and be appalled. I saw a women with MS who had difficulty controlling her hand, and body movements tell another woman she was tired of dealing with so and so because of her wierd gestures. The OP happened to be on a med that causes that.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 1, 2011 16:22:02 GMT -5
In the late 80's, early 90's maybe, that lady in Texas hired a hitman to kill her daughter's rival's mother - the cheerleading story. Does that prove that crazy ass bitches aren't unique to the 21st century? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wanda_Holloway
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Post by straydog on Apr 2, 2011 5:00:01 GMT -5
MissRigby: Seems like this has become The American Way of Life and the more that no bullying is promoted, the worse it gets.
SD: That is because the people who are writing the anti-bullying laws are probably pacifists who fail to understand human nature.
I was pretty badly bullied because of learning disabilities while I attended public school. And I can tell you that the best anti-bullying program would be to introduce boxing instruction into the schools, after all they teach the kids how to wrestle.
There is only one thing that a bully understands, and that is force. If they had introduced boxing in my school while I was coming up, I would have viewed it as a Godsend.
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ysi
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Post by ysi on Apr 2, 2011 8:01:44 GMT -5
It is worse. There are two kinds of bullying, physical and social. I happen to believe the social is by far the worst. It is worse. You would only understand it is worse if you have enough age to have perspective about frequency duration severity and are not on the side of evil. I know you don't like my reference to "that generation" but it was like a bomb exploded in my very large multicultural workplace when they entered the workforce. I call them the Columbine generation. My generation raised them so give credit where credit is due. An enormous amount of credit if you will goes to the U.S. television industry for exposing every nook and cranny of this country to this kind of behavior as entertainment. Married with Children, Simpsons, King of the Hill, Bratz, the list is a mile long. It became mainstream permissable ye admirable to have an attitude and force that attitude into someone else's space-physical or virtual. No Boundaries-remember that nifty advertising slogan? Yes, there has always been some, but NEVER on the scale seen today. The other day I was told of another office here who is having a "mediator" hold sessions with them to improve office relations?! To paraphrase "that generation" WTF?!
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Apr 2, 2011 8:52:11 GMT -5
Posted: Saturday, April 2, 2011 6:08 am Newspaper quote:
Police have arrested two Michigan parents they say beat a 73-year-old school crossing guard after he tried to break up a fight between their son and another 7-year-old boy.
Lt. Noel Garcia tells the Lansing State Journal the boys were involved in an altercation at Lyons Elementary School on Wednesday. Garcia says the next morning the parents drove to the area, let out their son and told him to beat the other boy.
Garcia says the couple's 7-year-old punched the other child, knocking him to the ground. When the crossing guard intervened, Garcia says the couple attacked him.
The State Journal says the parents were arrested Friday and are expected to be arraigned Monday on charges of assault or assault and battery and contributing to the delinquency of a minor
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Bluerobin
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Post by Bluerobin on Apr 2, 2011 9:59:54 GMT -5
Let's hope the prosecutor tacks on crimes against the elderly - that should be good for a few more years.
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