DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Mar 31, 2011 14:47:44 GMT -5
What are your most interesting cases?
In April/May I'm going to get to see some elks that one of the nurses has on his farm. I'm really looking forward to this...
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Rest in Peace
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Mar 31, 2011 14:56:23 GMT -5
Oh lordy.....
Doc, feel free to tell your tales.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Mar 31, 2011 14:56:36 GMT -5
Um...
I have a snake in my trousers.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Mar 31, 2011 14:58:54 GMT -5
Yessireee
I'm looking forward to Doc telling us of his cases and his advice on non human animals.
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DebMD (banned)
Junior Associate
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Mar 31, 2011 15:01:10 GMT -5
Um...
I have a snake in my trousers.
Does Doc need to tend to it?
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ken a.k.a OMK
Senior Associate
They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Mar 31, 2011 15:05:35 GMT -5
Cut the snakes head off. It might be poisonous.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Mar 31, 2011 15:08:42 GMT -5
I'm a good snake handler and good at feeding snakes.
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Mar 31, 2011 18:43:40 GMT -5
LMAO!!!! Reading comprehension really can be your friend... Or your worst enemy....
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Mar 31, 2011 19:00:23 GMT -5
Where is our Vet...running a code blue? ? ?
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Mar 31, 2011 21:26:20 GMT -5
Doc Pig, please have mercy and tell Deb how we (I'm also a vet) delivered that colt in a driving snow storm! You were the Senior Vet, so I leave the story to you.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Mar 31, 2011 21:29:29 GMT -5
Mad D You're not a Vet are you?
<What are the chances of 2 real Vets being here....hmmmm>
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Mar 31, 2011 21:32:33 GMT -5
Yes, I am a vet and have the DD-214 to prove it.
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Befferz
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Post by Befferz on Mar 31, 2011 21:34:03 GMT -5
Yes, I am a vet and have the DD-214 to prove it. When I recharge...
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Mar 31, 2011 21:38:46 GMT -5
Back at ya now!
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Befferz
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Post by Befferz on Mar 31, 2011 21:39:27 GMT -5
Awww, thanks!
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Post by pig on Apr 1, 2011 8:33:55 GMT -5
Well, lets see now......
/puts on glasses and begins to thumb through old case files
Ah, yes here it is.
Well I began my practice in a small town called Preble, Kansas. It was there my journey started. It was a small town with about five families who all had dogs. One by one they brought their beloved "pets" in to see me. One by one I recommended they put down the poor beasts. When the last living dogs owners brought his dog in I again recommended I put him down. The owner looked at me in shock and said "Tell me doc there is a virulent dog plague going around isn't there?"
No I explained to him, your dog comes to me presenting an abmormal smell which undoubtedly pervades your house. He also shows signs of eating feces and shedding hair. Additionally, he salivates excessively and licks anything around him. It's for the best.
After the poor beast was dead I explained to him how I freed his spirit so that he may find human friends and not the fake love of a dirtly filthy animal. He thanked me and I knew my job there was done. So, I left off to bigger and better things in another town.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2011 8:37:42 GMT -5
You are either leaving early or have a LOT of time on your hands today....
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Apr 1, 2011 8:39:08 GMT -5
Interesting Vet story Doc.
Were you saying people should not have dogs as pets but only human pets?
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Post by pig on Apr 1, 2011 8:43:57 GMT -5
Deb. In my many years of practice I've developed a theory. I have mountains of evidence but you wouldn't believe me......no one would. You see, man did not evolve from apes. Man evolved from DOGS. By treating these filty fecal eating beasts like humans we threaten our very existence. Pet owners are throwing the natural evolutionary progressions out of whack.
You may laugh, but I have encountred a dog that could speak rudimentary words. I quickly dissected the dogs brain to find subtle changes that could only have occured with human interference. I questioned the owner, a pathetic old woman, who had nothing better to do than speak the words "love my touch" to this dog. Over and over and over for months at a time. I heard that dog say "rrrrrove mrrr trrrrrrrch"!
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DebMD (banned)
Junior Associate
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Apr 1, 2011 8:50:56 GMT -5
Doc I am very much interested in hearing your theories. To have a bird or dog speak is not uncommon. I have even seen a vid clip of an elephant doing paintings: self portrait and one of flowers.
Now connect the dots for me how apes have evolved from dogs.
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Post by pig on Apr 1, 2011 8:53:28 GMT -5
You are not very astute for a fake MD. I never said apes evolved from dogs. I said humans have evolved from dogs. Apes evolved from prehistoric muskrats.
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Mad Dawg Wiccan
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Post by Mad Dawg Wiccan on Apr 1, 2011 9:08:28 GMT -5
This is where Doc and I disagree. I have evidence apes evolved from prehistoric otters.
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Post by pig on Apr 1, 2011 9:11:59 GMT -5
MD that was hotly debated at the 2003 conference. The muskrat crew came out on top. Dr. Finklestein ended up running out with several Optomitrists in hot persuit with rotten tomatoes in hand.
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DebMD (banned)
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Apr 1, 2011 9:42:36 GMT -5
Humans and pigs are close enough related that we could use your heart valve to save the life of a human...
Some humans seem to have evolved from pigs.
Tell us more of your 'Dog theory' and do you have on cats and other animals.
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Post by pig on Apr 1, 2011 10:08:13 GMT -5
"Humans and pigs are close enough related that we a real doctor could use your heart valve to save the life of a human..."
fixed
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DebMD (banned)
Junior Associate
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Post by DebMD (banned) on Apr 1, 2011 10:11:42 GMT -5
"Humans and pigs are close enough related that a real doctor could use a pig's heart valve to save the life of a human..." un fixed
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
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Favorite Drink: Chilled White Zin
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Apr 1, 2011 10:12:56 GMT -5
For Doc - LOL:
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Post by pig on Apr 1, 2011 10:13:14 GMT -5
I guess we're closely related to plastics too as they are used as heart valves huh?
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ken a.k.a OMK
Senior Associate
They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Apr 1, 2011 10:28:10 GMT -5
Cut the snakes head off. It might be poisonous. HEY WHO CHANGED MY AVATAR? Not nice. I'm going to tell moon. LOL
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Post by pig on Apr 1, 2011 10:29:00 GMT -5
I was just thinking that Ken when I saw it. LOL
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