how much for a baby shower?

[Deleted]

We were invited to 2 baby showers, one on May 8th for my step brother girlfriend and one later that same month for wife's cousin.

I've always thought $50 was a good amount but looking at both registries last night my wife said the items she would like to get both couple would be between 60-75 after taxes. Sounded fair to me.

Also does it make a difference if we are going or not? We will not be going to my step brothers since our 8 year Anniversary and my wife birthday is on May 6th and we already planned to get away that weekend. So we will be mailing the gift.

As for her cousin, my wife will probably go alone.

On a side note, I picked a look at some of the items they registered for and I could not stop laughing: do some people really expect you to buy them a $400 changing table? Or a $600 stroller (the one they can jog with)?

[zibazinski]

Take 2 bags/boxes of diapers and call it good. Or a gift card for 35-40 bucks at a Babies R Us. Those kind of people are the same kind who expect people to fork over $100 place setting of china they never will use.

[Wisconsin Beth]

My family will go in on a more expensive gift, if that's what they want to purchase, so yeah, I can picture my 2 sisters and I, 1 SIL and my mom kicking in to buy the $400 table at $80 each (plus tax.) And depending on what store it was purchased from, we may have coupons for up to 20% off, which would bring it down some.

Plus some of the baby stores offer a discount for unbought stuff, after the baby's born. For example, my Mom offered to buy me a breastpump. Cost was $280 originally. I had a 10% offer to finish up the registry AND a 20% off 1 item coupon and both were used. I think Mom wrote us a check afterwards for $225, including tax.

[raeoflyte]

I don't think there is a 'right' answer. Purchase what you can afford and what you want to get for them.

The registry was an easy way for dh and I to stay on track for what we still needed to buy. If we got it at the shower, awesome. But we were prepared to purchase everything as well. We registered for the big ticket items as well, but our parents had offered to buy those and wanted us to pick them out.

I doubt that anyone thinks after the shower, 'so and so really should have bought us better/more stuff!' At least the people I know never would.

[Deleted]

Be sure to shop around. A lot of times you can find the item they have on their registry at another store for much cheaper. Buy it for cheap and then call the store they are registered at and tell them you forgot to take an item off the registry and they will show it as purchased.

[bean29]

I would think your $50.00 would be enough for a co-worker. If you are close to your cousin's then what your wife wants to spend is also OK. I spent at least $70-$75 for DH's best friend's shower gift, and I paid for MIL's gift maybe another $25.00. MIL did not attend but often goes/is invited to functions they have and she is friends with his mother and aunt's. This friend is pretty well off and when we are invited to things they have they are very elaborate.

I have to admit that I weigh how close we are to people even for relatives when I decide how much to spend. I usually spend $40-50. Baby showers it is easy to get into big $$. I once did a baby bath tub with things like diapers, baby aspirn, washcloths, tweezers, nail scissors etc etc. All that little stuff added up.

Given that we are in the midwest and you on the east coast, I would think people spend more $$ there.

[Deleted]

I got a friend that amazing teether giraffe for $20. The article I read said one reason that it was so popular was that at $20, it was the perfect price point for a shower . . . not too cheap, not too expensive.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I didn't expect people to buy us expensive stuff, but some people have family/friends that like to go in on group gifts. Then depending on where you are registered you get a coupon for 10% off anything on your registry after your due date.

If I really wanted the jogging stroller I'd totally put it on my registry so I could use that 10% coupon. Combined with some of the coupons Baby's R Us gives us as members I could get that $600 for much lower.

[The J]

I've always thought $50 was a good amount but looking at both registries last night my wife said the items she would like to get both couple would be between 60-75 after taxes. Sounded fair to me.

Anything in that range ($50-75) seems fair to me.

Also does it make a difference if we are going or not?

I think it's more about how close you are to the person.

On a side note, I picked a look at some of the items they registered for and I could not stop laughing: do some people really expect you to buy them a $400 changing table? Or a $600 stroller (the one they can jog with)?

As others have said, it can be bought by a group gift, or by one of select family members (for example, I know that my parents and my sister/bil would buy me a more expensive item if I were going to be a parent). Or it could just be to have a centralized shopping list for the parents-to-be.

[Urban Chicago]

If I'm going to the shower, I generally make a "diaper cake", though it's not always in the shape of a cake. I spend about $100 on these.

Of course, I wouldn't attend a shower for someone greedy or mean about their gifts, or who expected you to follow the registry exactly.

[Gardening Grandma]

I'll be going to a shower for the daughter of a close friend. At my age, I don't get invited to many baby showers.......
I'm taking a hand knit blanket.

[oreo]

Wow, I must be way cheap because I usually spend around $20 for people at work. I always buy the same thing--the musical Seahorse (Fisher Price maybe). I think in reality it is around $15. My son is 2 and he still loves his and it is very comforting to him at night when he can't sleep.

If you buy diapers, don't buy newborn ones because they'll probably already have them and they'll only need them for a few weeks probably if that (especially the ones with the umbilical cord cutout).

If they are looking at a $400 changing table and a $600 stroller, maybe you should refer them to the "Smart Spending" forum!

[zibazinski]

The fact that these people are your friends and family, I can imagine what your wife will want when you have your family. Or expect.

[hoops902]

"On a side note, I picked a look at some of the items they registered for and I could not stop laughing: do some people really expect you to buy them a $400 changing table? Or a $600 stroller (the one they can jog with)? "

While not a baby registry I can say that there were many things on our wedding registry that we knew no one would buy for us but which we included because we wanted them and after our wedding date we would have the opportunity to purchase them at a discount.

It's both an easy way to get a discount, and a convenient housing for our shopping list.

[Deleted]

I definitely understand how future grandparents and uncles/aunts might spend more but aren't those gifts usually just seperate? I know my uncle went half and half with my cousin in laws for their future grandchild bedroom set.

As a group it would also make sense if everyone contribute 75-100. So yeah I guess it would be feasible.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

do some people really expect you to buy them a $400 changing table? Or a $600 stroller (the one they can jog with)?

Many times, you'll get a group of people that go together and get this large a gift. I know that's what we did for a coworker of mine - about 8 of us got together and bought her some of the more expensive stuff that she wanted/needed.

[Deleted]

Mar 31, 2011 12:25:38 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

The fact that these people are your friends and family, I can imagine what your wife will want when you have your family. Or expect.

LOL! We are not even pregnant or trying for a baby and we already have 2 registries under our name: one at pottery barn the other at babies r us. My wife started them last year and update them regularly.

The rule for our future baby registry list is the same for wedding: I stay away from it and don't question it because if I do, half those things on that list will be chopped. I will have a say/vote when "we" have to pay for it.

My wife loves shopping and putting together a baby registry list keeps her occupied it seems. She voluntereed to go register with her cousin.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

The rule for our future baby registry list is the same for wedding: I stay away from it and don't question it because if I do, half those things on that list will be chopped. I will have a say/vote when "we" have to pay for it.

So it's very likely that your DW has $400 tables and $600 strollers on her registry. Don't you think it's a little hypocritical, that you can criticize relatives that have these items on their registry, but it's likely you do too and you don't question it?

[Deleted]

Mar 31, 2011 12:55:09 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

The rule for our future baby registry list is the same for wedding: I stay away from it and don't question it because if I do, half those things on that list will be chopped. I will have a say/vote when "we" have to pay for it.

So it's very likely that your DW has $400 tables and $600 strollers on her registry. Don't you think it's a little hypocritical, that you can criticize relatives that have these items on their registry, but it's likely you do too and you don't question it?

I truly don't expect people to get it for me and I hope they wouldn't. And my wife knows me enough to know there is a limit, 400 is way beyond that point.

Seriously? $400 for a chanigng table to me is insane and I know for a fact people in my family will just laugh at that idea. We are more like put a nice sheet or towel on the bed and changhe the baby. That is the way we haitians do it lol.

My policy for registering for gifts is the following: if I will not buy it myself, I will not register for it. And. That also applied for our wedding registry since we did end up getting the remaining things we needed with our money.

[yogiii]

I usually pick something on the registry around $50 and then try to also use a 20% coupon

I'm taking a hand knit blanket.

I received a couple of these at my baby shower and they were actually my favorite gifts! I think the home-made stuff is great.

[zibazinski]

Those handmade items are among the few things I kept for each baby. To me, they are priceless.

[kgb18]

do some people really expect you to buy them a $400 changing table? Or a $600 stroller (the one they can jog with)?

As others have said, a lot of times the big gifts are purchased by a group of people. My aunts chipped in to get our car seat/stroller system (though nothing on our registry was as expensive as $400). And, also as someone else pointed out, some places will let you buy items on your registry at a discount after the event, so we just included them so that we could buy them ourself later on.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Seriously? $400 for a chanigng table to me is insane and I know for a fact people in my family will just laugh at that idea

Uh, the people having the bridal shower have spouses don't they?

Maybe their families would like to purchase a $400 changing table or go in on one?

It isn't just about what YOUR family thinks or would buy.

I was floored at some of the gifts we recieved from members of DH's family. I would never expect a $400 table from them, but those kinds of presents are not out of the realm of possibility especially when it comes to his aunts/uncles and his parents.

[qofcc]

$50-75 for a family member or close friend sounds reasonable. I go as low as $15 if it's someone I'm not at all close to (like a group gift for a co-worker) or up to $100 if it's someone I'm really close to.

[Deleted]

Good question since I just got a shower invite from my old roommate. Unfortunately I can't make it to the party. I looked at where she was registered...
Buy Buy Baby and Diapers.com. She always has to be extra with getting expensive stuff, yet she is a grad student and her DH just got a full time job in August. I know for a fact they would not be spending their hard-earned money on all that overpriced crap.

[telephus44]

I would go with $50 if I'm giving cash or a gift card, but I usually prefer to give "stuff" - diapers, clothes, etc. I bargain shop and will spend about $25 after coupons/sales/rebates/etc.

Co-worker would be closer to $15.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Man, I really want to know Cawiau's wife's name so I could peek at her registry. Yes, I'd snoop on this.

[kgb18]

Overpriced is sort of a subjective thing. To me a $600 jogging stroller sounds crazy because I don't jog. (Please, if you ever see my running, call 911 because there is an emergency.) But if you're a serious runner, as a friend of mine is, it's an important item that will get a ton of use.

And different parents and different babies find different things useful. I know some people think that Pack 'N Plays are a waste of money. We have two, and they get used more than any other thing we have. I didn't get a changing table, but other people love theirs. It all depends. There are certain things I think are worth spending more on and some things that you can sort of cheap out on.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I found with car seats you get what you pay for. They are all the same safety wise but when trying them all out at Target there is a difference between the cheapest and most expensive ones, especially the infant carriers.

Since I was going to be lugging a baby in it back and forth to daycare every day I wanetd one that was easy to wield and didn't weigh 20 pounds before even getting the baby in it.

I went for the middle ground because I didn't want all the extras that come with a lot of the more expensive ones.

According to my MIL I way overpaid for mine. I should have looked for a used one at Goodwill.

[oreo]

The problem is if you don't know people with kids (and really even if you do) you don't know what you'll REALLY need. You buy stuff because you read you "need" it, then a lot of it you never use. We changed DS on the dining room table for about 9 months! We setup 1 end as the changing area and ate on the other end (or at the kitchen island).