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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 18, 2018 20:50:55 GMT -5
I am dealing with a dying husband and your dog’s barking is driving me crazy. I would appreciate it if you could take care of this.
We received this note on our door this afternoon. Harriet was in her kennel, she was not barking when I left, nor was she barking when I returned. A quick visit to my closest neighbor said she heard a barking dog, but it was not coming from our house, it was the next road down.
I think I know who wrote this. She and her husband used to be friends to my neighbor, and invited TD and I to dinner 7 or so years ago. It was a nice evening, but she ceased communications when her husband got cancer several years ago. Last I heard, he was in remission but that might have changed.
WWYD?
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jun 18, 2018 21:06:23 GMT -5
yikes. I have to say, I sucked wind through my teeth until I read your 2nd paragraph. bad Mich. if that note wasn't signed, there isn't much you can really do otherwise to address it. here's hoping it doesn't turn into something squeakier.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Jun 18, 2018 21:07:11 GMT -5
Ugh. If it really isn't your dog who is barking, I'm not sure what you can do.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 18, 2018 21:51:20 GMT -5
We got a guy in the neighborhood who randomly picks dog owners and complains about them.
She could try to make your life miserable but unless she's got proof it won't go very far. Our guy files against his nearest neighbor every spring but so far has yet to win.
I think some people just don't like pets and zero in on targets they know. She hears a dog bark you own a dog therefore it must be you. Loads easier to send you a note than track down the stranger whose dog it actually is.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 18, 2018 22:07:56 GMT -5
Is the kennel is inside the house or outdoors? If inside, and the home was locked up tight, it would be pretty hard to hear a barking dog inside another home which is probably shut up tight too.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 18, 2018 22:12:22 GMT -5
I'd leave a note on her door with some homemade cookies that says "If you left the note about the dog, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. If you need anything, please call." I would then leave my name, address and phone number.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 18, 2018 22:13:12 GMT -5
Interesting, we had something similar happen, except they didn't leave a note, they called the cops. They actually called the cops repeatedly. She had cancer, her husband bought her a dog as a companion, and apparently other dogs barking made her dog go crazy (ignoring the fact that the few times I was home to hear it all, it was her dog going outside, barking, then all the neighborhood dogs started barking in response). And when we went over to talk to them to apologize after the first time, they told us as much...their dog barks, which makes other dogs bark, which drove her crazy. We were gone for long periods of time during the day while working, but we'd bought our dog a bark collar that gives them a tingle when they bark and had taught him not to, but still the cops kept coming.
Finally, I was home one day when the cops showed up so got to talk to them instead of having them leave a note...so I asked him to go speak to the neighbor, ask them if they were SURE it was my dog barking...because there are lots of dogs in the neighborhood that I often hear barking. I went over with him, they said they were positive it was my dog...they walked outside and saw him barking, so they knew it was him. One problem...my dog was in another state with my wife. Cop called my wife on my cell phone in front of everyone, she confirmed the dog was with her in another state. Neighbors started backtracking, stating they had seen my dog outside when they'd heard the barking before...had they actually SEEN my dog barking? Nope. They had just heard barking outside, then walked out and had seen my dog was home sometimes (of course they saw him, their door opens up with a straight view to my yard).
So what would "I" do, if I was pretty sure it wasn't my dog? I'd respond with a note. "I'm sorry that there is a dog barking, neighbors have confirmed it was not mine but came from X road. Hopefully you won't have to deal with your husband dying much longer"
What I actually did...I got some video of dogs barking and going nuts on the internet and the few days that I was home where I had solid proof my dog was not home (when he was in another state) I'd go out to my garage, plug speakers into my laptop, and blast sounds of barking dogs. My dog's kennel was in our garage, so I'd do that a few days, wait for the neighbors to call the cops knowing the sound was coming from my garage...then tell the cops my dog was out of state again. Eventually the cops got tired of dealing with our crazy neighbors and stopped coming around. They told them it was a civil matter and to sue me if they thought that would help...they didn't.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2018 22:35:15 GMT -5
Interesting, we had something similar happen, except they didn't leave a note, they called the cops. They actually called the cops repeatedly. She had cancer, her husband bought her a dog as a companion, and apparently other dogs barking made her dog go crazy (ignoring the fact that the few times I was home to hear it all, it was her dog going outside, barking, then all the neighborhood dogs started barking in response). And when we went over to talk to them to apologize after the first time, they told us as much...their dog barks, which makes other dogs bark, which drove her crazy. We were gone for long periods of time during the day while working, but we'd bought our dog a bark collar that gives them a tingle when they bark and had taught him not to, but still the cops kept coming.
Finally, I was home one day when the cops showed up so got to talk to them instead of having them leave a note...so I asked him to go speak to the neighbor, ask them if they were SURE it was my dog barking...because there are lots of dogs in the neighborhood that I often hear barking. I went over with him, they said they were positive it was my dog...they walked outside and saw him barking, so they knew it was him. One problem...my dog was in another state with my wife. Cop called my wife on my cell phone in front of everyone, she confirmed the dog was with her in another state. Neighbors started backtracking, stating they had seen my dog outside when they'd heard the barking before...had they actually SEEN my dog barking? Nope. They had just heard barking outside, then walked out and had seen my dog was home sometimes (of course they saw him, their door opens up with a straight view to my yard).
So what would "I" do, if I was pretty sure it wasn't my dog? I'd respond with a note. "I'm sorry that there is a dog barking, neighbors have confirmed it was not mine but came from X road. Hopefully you won't have to deal with your husband dying much longer"
What I actually did...I got some video of dogs barking and going nuts on the internet and the few days that I was home where I had solid proof my dog was not home (when he was in another state) I'd go out to my garage, plug speakers into my laptop, and blast sounds of barking dogs. My dog's kennel was in our garage, so I'd do that a few days, wait for the neighbors to call the cops knowing the sound was coming from my garage...then tell the cops my dog was out of state again. Eventually the cops got tired of dealing with our crazy neighbors and stopped coming around. They told them it was a civil matter and to sue me if they thought that would help...they didn't. Most of us aren't really as crass as we seem in retelling stuff, but would you really tell a woman with a dying husband, "Hopefully you won't have to deal with your husband dying much longer"? And did you really incite her to call the cops again and again? By pretending your dog was barking? I understand that it was frustrating to have the cops visit, but you made your point the first time. And then you started ghosting this woman? Was it honestly necessary to torment a woman with a dying husband? Torment her repeatedly? It wasn't like someone else's dog kept barking and she kept calling the cops on you. It ultimately became true that it was "your dog" because the sound was really coming from your garage, and she called the cops. And you were enjoying the situation of making her seem like a fool, when really she was right. I honestly don't understand your glee in this situation at all.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 18, 2018 22:41:39 GMT -5
Is the kennel is inside the house or outdoors? If inside, and the home was locked up tight, it would be pretty hard to hear a barking dog inside another home which is probably shut up tight too. Kennel is inside, but the screen door to the deck was open as it’s warm here. No a/c. Harriet rarely barks, the only time I’ve heard her when a man comes to the door and I’m home alone.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 18, 2018 22:53:17 GMT -5
This is what I don’t get.
She has has obviously seen TD walking the neighborhood with Harriet so she knows where we live and who we are (especially since once upon a time we socialized). I got home around 3:30ish, but as I came in through the garage, not the fron5 door so I’m not sure when the note went up but it was entirely possible I was home. It was a chicken assed way of dealing with this.
My neighbor said that there was a dog barking for about 20 min, from 2-2:20, but she said it was not coming from our house, but the one behind us. Not Harriet.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 18, 2018 22:55:49 GMT -5
The thing is sometimes dogs never bark when their owners are home. I know I was in an RV park, the peoples dog next door was quiet as a mouse. Soon as they left it barked from the time they left until they got home. For me it was easy I asked to be moved. But I would bet you they swore their dog never barked, LOL! Not saying this is your case, just saying.
And wow, hoops, I wouldn't write a note saying hope you don't have to deal with the hubs much longer. I don't think you meant that how it sounded.
That's one of the reasons we don't want neighbors. I dealt with barking dogs and neighbors which drove me crazy or crazier, whichever. Now we have NO neighbors, I occasionally get a stray, but I'm VERY happy with no barkers around. Our old dog rarely if ever barks if he does we pay attention as something is wrong.
One time we lived next to people and that dog barked all night every night. Finally one night about 3AM I went over and knocked on their door. I said I want you to be awake like I am every night listening to your dog bark. Needless to say they didn't like me. LOL! It did get better.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 18, 2018 23:05:24 GMT -5
The thing is sometimes dogs never bark when their owners are home. I know I was in an RV park, the peoples dog next door was quiet as a mouse. Soon as they left it barked from the time they left until they got home. For me it was easy I asked to be moved. But I would bet you they swore their dog never barked, LOL! Not saying this is your case, just saying. And wow, hoops, I wouldn't write a note saying hope you don't have to deal with the hubs much longer. I don't think you meant that how it sounded. That's one of the reasons we don't want neighbors. I dealt with barking dogs and neighbors which drove me crazy or crazier, whichever. Now we have NO neighbors, I occasionally get a stray, but I'm VERY happy with no barkers around. Our old dog rarely if ever barks if he does we pay attention as something is wrong. One time we lived next to people and that dog barked all night every night. Finally one night about 3AM I went over and knocked on their door. I said I want you to be awake like I am every night listening to your dog bark. Needless to say they didn't like me. LOL! It did get better. My elderly neighbor is always home. She never hears Harriet. Ever. That is why I went over to talk to her about receiving the note, to double check it wasn’t Harriet barking. She told me the direction the barking was coming from, and it wasn’t us but the house behind us.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 18, 2018 23:11:02 GMT -5
That's good you could verify it, at least you know.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 18, 2018 23:28:04 GMT -5
Is the kennel is inside the house or outdoors? If inside, and the home was locked up tight, it would be pretty hard to hear a barking dog inside another home which is probably shut up tight too. Kennel is inside, but the screen door to the deck was open as it’s warm here. No a/c. Harriet rarely barks, the only time I’ve heard her when a man comes to the door and I’m home alone. Sounds to me like it is someone else's dog. Not a hell of a lot you can do about it.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jun 19, 2018 5:49:52 GMT -5
At least it isn’t the cops K9 dog that barks all day because the cop is sleeping inside his house. I wonder when that dog sleeps?
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jun 19, 2018 7:17:04 GMT -5
I'd leave a note on her door with some homemade cookies that says "If you left the note about the dog, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. If you need anything, please call." I would then leave my name, address and phone number. I would also mention a neighbor has verified it is not my dog, but it might be in the house behind me on street X.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 19, 2018 8:16:08 GMT -5
Interesting, we had something similar happen, except they didn't leave a note, they called the cops. They actually called the cops repeatedly. She had cancer, her husband bought her a dog as a companion, and apparently other dogs barking made her dog go crazy (ignoring the fact that the few times I was home to hear it all, it was her dog going outside, barking, then all the neighborhood dogs started barking in response). And when we went over to talk to them to apologize after the first time, they told us as much...their dog barks, which makes other dogs bark, which drove her crazy. We were gone for long periods of time during the day while working, but we'd bought our dog a bark collar that gives them a tingle when they bark and had taught him not to, but still the cops kept coming.
Finally, I was home one day when the cops showed up so got to talk to them instead of having them leave a note...so I asked him to go speak to the neighbor, ask them if they were SURE it was my dog barking...because there are lots of dogs in the neighborhood that I often hear barking. I went over with him, they said they were positive it was my dog...they walked outside and saw him barking, so they knew it was him. One problem...my dog was in another state with my wife. Cop called my wife on my cell phone in front of everyone, she confirmed the dog was with her in another state. Neighbors started backtracking, stating they had seen my dog outside when they'd heard the barking before...had they actually SEEN my dog barking? Nope. They had just heard barking outside, then walked out and had seen my dog was home sometimes (of course they saw him, their door opens up with a straight view to my yard).
So what would "I" do, if I was pretty sure it wasn't my dog? I'd respond with a note. "I'm sorry that there is a dog barking, neighbors have confirmed it was not mine but came from X road. Hopefully you won't have to deal with your husband dying much longer"
What I actually did...I got some video of dogs barking and going nuts on the internet and the few days that I was home where I had solid proof my dog was not home (when he was in another state) I'd go out to my garage, plug speakers into my laptop, and blast sounds of barking dogs. My dog's kennel was in our garage, so I'd do that a few days, wait for the neighbors to call the cops knowing the sound was coming from my garage...then tell the cops my dog was out of state again. Eventually the cops got tired of dealing with our crazy neighbors and stopped coming around. They told them it was a civil matter and to sue me if they thought that would help...they didn't. Most of us aren't really as crass as we seem in retelling stuff, but would you really tell a woman with a dying husband, "Hopefully you won't have to deal with your husband dying much longer"? And did you really incite her to call the cops again and again? By pretending your dog was barking? I understand that it was frustrating to have the cops visit, but you made your point the first time. And then you started ghosting this woman? Was it honestly necessary to torment a woman with a dying husband? Torment her repeatedly? It wasn't like someone else's dog kept barking and she kept calling the cops on you. It ultimately became true that it was "your dog" because the sound was really coming from your garage, and she called the cops. And you were enjoying the situation of making her seem like a fool, when really she was right. I honestly don't understand your glee in this situation at all. I don't really see it as inciting them to call the cops again and again, they were already calling 2-3x per week. I was inciting them to call on specific days that I could prove it wasn't my dog...because on most days they were calling, it wasn't my dog, but they were blaming my dog.
And yes, someone else's dog kept barking, and she kept calling the cops on ME...repeatedly. Or rather, it was a bunch of random neighborhood dogs sparked to barking by HER dog, but mine wasn't even involved. After she'd falsely reported my dog a bunch of times (including a time or two that my dog wasn't even in-state), I made sure it was clear she was making false reports, by inciting her to make them when I was home (they never said they just heard it from my garage, they kept saying they SAW my dog outside barking because the cops aren't interested in where you attribute a sound to come from).
And I'm not really sure I made my point the first time, because they kept calling and the cops kept coming. They didn't call the cops one time and then I started pranking them...they'd probably called 15-20 times by then...and then continued calling even after I had proven my dog wasn't home at the time they called once.
And would I really write something like that? Yes. Though I would have put a little more thought into it having double-meaning...where you could take it as something horrible or as something meant to be compassionate...plausible deniability. There aren't a lot of people I would write that for...but for these people, I absolutely would have (not just based on them making false reports on us to the police, but some other reasons as well).
For the record, I never ghosted her...that means something else entirely. And mostly, it was to him, not her.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 19, 2018 8:16:31 GMT -5
It's really hard to know how much a dog barks when you're not there. Like Countrygirl mentioned, it's not uncommon for a dog to be quiet when the owners are home and then bark when they're gone.
The elderly neighbor may not have heard Harriet because she's doing other things, the sound may carry differently or she just may not want to get in the middle of this whole mess. Much easier for her to stay friends with you both.
If it were my dog I'd probably try to figure out what was happening at home when I'm gone. Easy enough to do with the assortment of home monitoring smart home stuff out there. After observing what happens at home when you're gone for 2 or 3 days, then you'll really know what the situation is and can react accordingly.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 19, 2018 10:56:07 GMT -5
It's really hard to know how much a dog barks when you're not there. Like Countrygirl mentioned, it's not uncommon for a dog to be quiet when the owners are home and then bark when they're gone. The elderly neighbor may not have heard Harriet because she's doing other things, the sound may carry differently or she just may not want to get in the middle of this whole mess. Much easier for her to stay friends with you both. If it were my dog I'd probably try to figure out what was happening at home when I'm gone. Easy enough to do with the assortment of home monitoring smart home stuff out there. After observing what happens at home when you're gone for 2 or 3 days, then you'll really know what the situation is and can react accordingly. I was better than 99% sure it wasn’t Harriet when I went over to talk to her yesterday. I was 100% sure after talking to her. My neighbor DID hear a dog bark, but it wasn’t coming from our house. My neighbor is no longer friends with this other couple. She and her husband dropped all of us and we are all kind of clueless as to why. I did ask my neighbor if she was positive it wasn’t Harriet. She was, and she would have no problem telling me if it was. I believe her.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on Jun 19, 2018 11:08:22 GMT -5
Harriet is an excellent name for a dog.
Dogs are good.
I hope the neighbor with the dog fixation doesn't become a problem, Mich. at least there is another neighbor who can vouch for it not being your dog in case it persists to be an issue.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Jun 19, 2018 11:21:41 GMT -5
I believe you that it's not necessarily your dog. I think I'd cut the note leaver alittle slack (and not spend a lot of time being pissed at them). Since you are sure it was the dog behind your house barking - I'd assume the note leaver made the assumption it was your dog barking since the noise came from the direction of your house (and they know you have a dog). If it was me (and since I'd probably never be home enough to see the neighbor during daylight hours) I'd leave a nice, polite note and indicate that it was the dog behind your house. The note leaver can then opt to leave a note on that person's door. FWIW: there's two little yappy dogs that live two doors down AND across the street. They spend the afternoon in the front room of the house yapping at the anything that moves (trees, cars, people walking by, squirrels, birds - anything at all... it's non stop for 3 or 4 hours every day). The windows on their home are closed. My windows are closed. I can still hear their high pitched yaps in my living room. This is mostly annoying on weekend afternoons - if I'm spending time in the living room. Even with the TV volume turned up the "yap yap yap" comes thru occasionally It took me a while to figure out which house the "yapping" was coming from - I originally assumed it was my near neighbors dogs because the yaps were so loud, clear, and piercing. I walked the block and was blasted by the yapping volume when I reached the house they live in. I feel sorry for the direct neighbors... I've got at least 100 feet of distance... the near neighbors have like 15 feet. You can even hear the yapping on the other side of my block... I was talking to the neighbor across the alley who was wondering where the yapping was coming from - it was driving them (and their dog) crazy... they could hear it in their closed up house, too. I can't imagine the volume of the dogs for the family in the house. Moral of the story is "indoor dog yapping can be heard inside houses over 200 feet away" This is why I believe it's probably NOT your dog.
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jitterbug
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Post by jitterbug on Jun 19, 2018 11:51:21 GMT -5
I'd leave a note on her door with some homemade cookies that says "If you left the note about the dog, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. If you need anything, please call." I would then leave my name, address and phone number. I would also mention a neighbor has verified it is not my dog, but it might be in the house behind me on street X. This gets my vote, too. The woman probably doesn't like confrontation, which is why she left the note. She didn't call the cops on you, she didn't complain about you to all the neighbors. And it was a polite note, really. Her husband is dying, she deserves your compassion at this point. So responding as 4thyme/4Opt said shows that the problem isn't Harriet and that you're a good neighbor to have.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jun 19, 2018 11:56:43 GMT -5
I'd let it go unless they start being asses about it.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 19, 2018 13:19:11 GMT -5
I'd let it go unless they start being asses about it. I’m tempted to at least go over and talk to her about it, but as she obviously does not like confrontation, I don’t like the idea of adding to her stress right now. So this is what’s going to happen. I know that dealing with difficult illnesses causes tremendous stress, we went through this ourselves with my nightmare. We did turn into ourselves, with very little outside communication other than family. We never knew that her husband had cancer until I got on crutches (which was a good year after it started), became more mobile and started getting out more. My neighbor told me then about his cancer, and told me when she asked if there was anything she could do, she was rudely rebuffed. Neighbor chalked it off to stress, and didn’t try again until he went into remission (and hopefully things were a bit more relaxed). Neighbor tried again, and apparently she was so nasty she made my neighbor cry. So we will just wait this out and see what happens next. If the cops show up at the door, all bets are off.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 19, 2018 13:54:23 GMT -5
Years ago I had a neighbor come to my door to tell me that my cats were howling outside their bedroom window. He specified my black cat. Yes, I had a black cat but so did at least two other neighbors. We did not have air conditioning at the time.
My black cat was an indoor only cat so I knew it could not be her. I told him that my cat was an indoor only cat and I knew there were two other black cats who were outdoor cats.
No more complaints about my indoor only cats.
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countrygirl2
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Post by countrygirl2 on Jun 23, 2018 20:03:25 GMT -5
Again so glad I live in the country with NO close neighbors. I hated those kind of problems for the short time we lived in town.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Jun 25, 2018 13:11:45 GMT -5
I'd let it go unless they start being asses about it. I’m tempted to at least go over and talk to her about it, but as she obviously does not like confrontation, I don’t like the idea of adding to her stress right now. So this is what’s going to happen. I know that dealing with difficult illnesses causes tremendous stress, we went through this ourselves with my nightmare. We did turn into ourselves, with very little outside communication other than family. We never knew that her husband had cancer until I got on crutches (which was a good year after it started), became more mobile and started getting out more. My neighbor told me then about his cancer, and told me when she asked if there was anything she could do, she was rudely rebuffed. Neighbor chalked it off to stress, and didn’t try again until he went into remission (and hopefully things were a bit more relaxed). Neighbor tried again, and apparently she was so nasty she made my neighbor cry. So we will just wait this out and see what happens next. If the cops show up at the door, all bets are off. Well, some people react to stress aggressively. My DS's husband died, and when his brother and his wife came to her house to visit her with their condolences, my sister ran out onto her front porch and screamed at them to get off her property. She told me she didn't like her BIL and his wife and just didn't want to deal with 5 them. Didn't have a funeral for her DH, just kept his ashes in her house until she died, and then we had to figure out what to do with them. To say she handled stress poorly was an understatement.
Hopefully if the neighbors do call the cops they'll be able to determine where the barking is actually coming from, and won't blame your dog. I know barking dogs can be annoying, but where I live there are no laws about that (and someone has a kennel of hounds somewhere behind us, and they all start howling whenever a fire truck or ambulance siren goes off) - so there are things you can do (we have a white noise machine in our bedroom, for instance) that will help mask that, as well as noisy car mufflers, loud kids, etc. I'd be tempted to leave one in her mailbox.....
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Jun 26, 2018 16:11:12 GMT -5
As the victim of a neighbor's 3 constant barking dogs for several months, I'm just going to say (in general, to everyone) please do make sure it's not your dog(s). Our former (we moved to 40 acres last year, buh-bye in town drama) neighbors would swear up and down to the officers it wasn't their dogs, even when they were home and the barking was going on. The dog area was on the other side of the fence from our living room 8 feet away. Absolutely maddening.
And to anyone currently the victim of such behavior, good luck getting anything resolved. I had month's worth of written documentation and audio files of the behavior, sent it to the PD and in the end it still didn't make a difference. And, no, it didn't help to try and talk with the neighbors. Kinda hard when they don't answer their door. ETA: The neighbors did end up receiving a citation after many PD visits, but they still continued to bark. Poor lonely doggies!
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