Uncontrollable Gambling

[Virgil Showlion]

3:15 AM. I'm at my grandparents' place watching a forensics show on TV while eating a midnight snack.

The show is plagued by endless commercials, most of them for new drugs in the US. I can't remember the names, but they treat IBS, Crohn's disease, shingles, psoriasis, diabetes, colitis, heartburn, blood clots, high cholesterol, and the list goes on.

Each commercial is 90 seconds long, 70 seconds of which is devoted to side effects and mandated disclaimers such as "Do not take Garfieldium if you are allergic to Garfieldium or any of its ingredients."

You'd think these absurd measures would have the manufacturers shielded from drug-related suits a dozen times over, but lo, laced between the drug ads, on the same station, are commercials by law firms soliciting clients for class action suits against the drug manufacturers. "If you took Garfieldium on or after July 1, 2013 and suffered leg spasms or blindness in the past year, you could be entitled to a substantial cash settlement! ..."

Many don't even stipulate that the malady needs to be caused by the drug, which I'm sure is intentional. If you're lucky enough to have taken Garfieldium at some point before you got your leg spams, Dewey, Cheetum and Howe wants you.

But, as if having the same station running laughably bad drug commercials and recruitment drives to sue the manufacturers back-to-back wasn't absurd enough, last night just knocked it out of the park:

"If you took Garfieldium on or after July 1, 2013 and have lost your home and savings due to uncontrollable gambling, you could be entitled to a substantial cash settlement!"

I wasn't paying close attention and had to rewind the DVR just to make sure I'd heard correctly.

I had. It was real. If you destroyed your life gambling but happened to take Garfieldium at some point before you did, boy did Santa come through for you this year.

Only in America.

I wonder if ten years down the line I won't tune in and behold the next logical step: "If you had contact with citizens of the United States of America on or after July 1, 2013 and you suffer from an inability to distinguish reality from bad satire, you could be entitled to a substantial cash settlement!"

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 22, 2017 18:30:49 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

3:15 AM. I'm at my grandparents' place watching a forensics show on TV while eating a midnight snack.

The show is plagued by endless commercials, most of them for new drugs in the US. I can't remember the names, but they treat IBS, Crohn's disease, shingles, psoriasis, diabetes, colitis, heartburn, blood clots, high cholesterol, and the list goes on.

Each commercial is 90 seconds long, 70 seconds of which is devoted to side effects and mandated disclaimers such as "Do not take Garfieldium if you are allergic to Garfieldium or any of its ingredients."

You'd think these absurd measures would have the manufacturers shielded from drug-related suits a dozen times over, but lo, laced between the drug ads, on the same station, are commercials by law firms soliciting clients for class action suits against the drug manufacturers. "If you took Garfieldium on or after July 1, 2013 and suffered leg spasms or blindness in the past year, you could be entitled to a substantial cash settlement! ..."

Many don't even stipulate that the malady needs to be caused by the drug, which I'm sure is intentional. If you're lucky enough to have taken Garfieldium at some point before you got your leg spams, Dewey, Cheetum and Howe wants you.

But, as if having the same station running laughably bad drug commercials and recruitment drives to sue the manufacturers back-to-back wasn't absurd enough, last night just knocked it out of the park:

"If you took Garfieldium on or after July 1, 2013 and have lost your home and savings due to uncontrollable gambling, you could be entitled to a substantial cash settlement!"

I wasn't paying close attention and had to rewind the DVR just to make sure I'd heard correctly.

I had. It was real. If you destroyed your life gambling but happened to take Garfieldium at some point before you did, boy did Santa come through for you this year.

Only in America.

I wonder if ten years down the line I won't tune in and behold the next logical step: "If you had contact with citizens of the United States of America on or after July 1, 2013 and you suffer from an inability to distinguish reality from bad satire, you could be entitled to a substantial cash settlement!"

Wishful thinking on your part. I give it two years tops. Oh, and have you heard the talking head attorney who is saying if you haven't gotten the money/service that one of the other talking heads promised you to please "call him" 

ETA: be aware of the drug that may cause constipation and diarrhea - you could be in a world of sh##!! 

[Virgil Showlion]

Dec 22, 2017 18:45:23 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Oh, and have you heard the talking head attorney who is saying if you haven't gotten the money/service that one of the other talking heads promised you to please "call him"

I wish I could tell if you were joking or not.

[NoNamePerson]

I am not joking. I caught it on a show I had recorded and I thought it was a joke, but I rewound it and that is what the talking head was saying. I have only heard/seen it once. But I admit that when a commercial comes on I usually head to another channel.

I like the fact that the drug companies develop a drug then find a disease to go with it for advertising

[Virgil Showlion]

Dec 22, 2017 19:02:40 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

I am not joking. I caught it on a show I had recorded and I thought it was a joke, but I rewound it and that is what the talking head was saying. I have only heard/seen it once. But I admit that when a commercial comes on I usually head to another channel.

I like the fact that the drug companies develop a drug then find a disease to go with it for advertising

It will solve the jobs crisis of the future.

Not only will you have jobs making the drugs and jobs suing the people for making the drugs, you'll have jobs suing the people suing the drugmakers, jobs suing the people suing the people suing the drugmakers, jobs creating ads looking for people to sue the creators of the ads looking for people to sue the people suing the people suing the drugmakers, and beyond!

It's mourning again in America.

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 22, 2017 19:09:30 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Dec 22, 2017 19:02:40 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

I am not joking. I caught it on a show I had recorded and I thought it was a joke, but I rewound it and that is what the talking head was saying. I have only heard/seen it once. But I admit that when a commercial comes on I usually head to another channel.

I like the fact that the drug companies develop a drug then find a disease to go with it for advertising

It will solve the jobs crisis of the future.

Not only will you have jobs making the drugs and jobs suing the people for making the drugs, you'll have jobs suing the people suing the drugmakers, jobs suing the people suing the people suing the drugmakers, jobs creating ads looking for people to sue the creators of the ads looking for people to sue the people suing the people suing the drugmakers, and beyond!

It's mourning again in America.

It's the American way!!!

[kadee79]

I used to manage the front end of a drug store & I'd help in the pharmacy when they got backed up...only counting pills, mind you.
I used to love the one that was prescribed for nausea....side effects included that it might cause nausea!  

[Opti]

"But, as if having the same station running laughably bad drug commercials and recruitment drives to sue the manufacturers back-to-back wasn't absurd enough, last night just knocked it out of the park:

"If you took Garfieldium on or after July 1, 2013 and have lost your home and savings due to uncontrollable gambling, you could be entitled to a substantial cash settlement!"

I wasn't paying close attention and had to rewind the DVR just to make sure I'd heard correctly.

I had. It was real. If you destroyed your life gambling but happened to take Garfieldium at some point before you did, boy did Santa come through for you this year."

I'm not a lawyer, but I read a lot including one CC I had which had something related on it. It sounds crazy, and it is, but I think this is the result of a lawyer with a a well-paying client who is able to get a better deal for them by making it a class action suit or something. Or perhaps it was a small class action suit and had to be opened up to claimants from the general public?

Years ago I had a dept store CC I was carrying a balance on and there was a deal that you could take, forget what it was, but it was obvious someone won a lawsuit against this dept store's CC and if you could meet the appropriate terms, you could get a deal too.