How Often Do You Talk to Your Adult Children?

[Shooby]

  Now that my kids are growing up and my oldest is now out of the house, I was wondering how often do you find that you talk to your adult children?  Do they call, text, Skype, etc?  

[busymom]

When DD was away at college, we usually messaged each other at least every other day. We only used Skype a few times.  My friends with sons who have moved out tell me they don't hear from their boys quite as often.  YMMV

[Ryan]

When I was in college and recently married, I talked to my mom a lot more. Every day in college or every other day. Now I don't really call much to catch up cause I'm busy with my own kids, but try to go over there every week or so. I talk to my dad a lot more

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

We have launched three and have one left. 
We have a group text with three of them. (The odd one out is fairly anti-social) It's a fairly constant daily communication of funny stuff. 
Out side of that, DH has a group text with just the boys and with just the girls. He and the older son talk just the two of them every day also--sometimes text, sometimes phone. 

DD#1 is only a year and a half into her "adulting" and still calls me almost every day. There are days she calls multiple times per day. She has at least accepted that I cannot talk to her while I'm at work unless it is an extreme emergency (which an extreme emergency for her is a minor challenge for the rest of us). Fortunately, my boss knows her well, so he has not been upset when I've been on the phone with her during the work day. 


DS#2 went 18 months not talking to his dad at all and three and half years not talking to me (I'm his step-mom). He moved out of our house when he was 22 because he didn't want to work and more, and we weren't going to pay for him anymore. He was perturbed. He now talks to his dad on at least a twice-per-week basis, and talks to me if I text him with something.  He'll answer if I call, also. I just don't need to do that unless someone is in the hospital. 

[steff]

My son texts, calls or stops by almost every day.  I am also between his work & his house, so he stops by when he's on lunch to raid my fridge & pantry.  We still go out to eat as a family every couple of weeks.  Again, he's there for the free food.  lol

[zibazinski]

Daily

[gooddecisions]

Monthly. We have a great relationship, but none of us are phone talkers and live a good 14 hours from each other, so when I went to college that's what happened. There is no expectations and no guilt. It just is. Also, my mom died 20 years ago and my dad isn't that into texting either.

My husband is not much better with his family and his family is great too. I guess we are just weird people.

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 4, 2017 8:50:34 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

Monthly. We have a great relationship, but none of us are phone talkers and live a good 14 hours from each other, so when I went to college that's what happened. There is no expectations and no guilt. It just is. Also, my mom died 20 years ago and my dad isn't that into texting either.

My husband is not much better with his family and his family is great too. I guess we are just weird people.

Whew, I'm glad you posted this. I was feeling like the bad mom of the year on this thread. I may talk to my son once or twice a month. He does live about 5 miles from me!! But neither of us are chatters either. He works so I'm not going to bother him with chit chat. I will say sometimes when I think of something I want to tell him I email a short note. That way I don't disturb him. If he sees my number on his phone he will answer regardless thinking something is wrong since I don't call often. 

I basically leave the calling up to him!!!

[gooddecisions]

I always wonder who people are talking to when I see them on their phones in the car at 7:00 am, on their phones walking into work, on their phones at the grocery store, etc. I am pretty much never talking on my phone, except meetings at work and I am at my desk, not on the go.

[NoNamePerson]

Dec 4, 2017 9:24:52 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

I always wonder who people are talking to when I see them on their phones in the car at 7:00 am, on their phones walking into work, on their phones at the grocery store, etc. I am pretty much never talking on my phone, except meetings at work and I am at my desk, not on the go.

I've actually heard a woman asking which one of the different cans of green beans she should buy? I have come to the conclusion that some folks are just dumbed down to where they can't even make a decision in the grocery store without calling someone to get a second/third/fourth/fifth opinion.

I've heard some other conversations in the grocery store that made me want to get out of the store so I am not in the parking lot with them since I have to wonder if they are intelligent enough to be driving!!

[tractor]

I made it a habit to talk to my day every Friday night, now I see him everyday so that’s not necessary. I try to talk to my mom about every two weeks, more frequent than that and all I hear are the same stories over and over, so there’s no real point.

As for my own kids, I expect to hear from them once a week (at least the one at college).

[saveinla]

Dec 4, 2017 9:24:52 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

I always wonder who people are talking to when I see them on their phones in the car at 7:00 am, on their phones walking into work, on their phones at the grocery store, etc. I am pretty much never talking on my phone, except meetings at work and I am at my desk, not on the go.

That would be my DH - he talks to his parents every day and to his brothers also at a similar frequency. He also calls a lot of people - his friends from school, college, various family members etc.etc. By the time I am home, he is almost talked out, so that works for me .

I speak to my parents once a week. I try not to talk to people and will text them or send them messages thru various apps. I almost never know what to talk unless they initiate the discussion.

My son will call or text me once a week and I am fine with that.

[dezii]

Dec 3, 2017 21:19:18 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  Now that my kids are growing up and my oldest is now out of the house, I was wondering how often do you find that you talk to your adult children?  Do they call, text, Skype, etc?  

Mostly text daily with daughter...less so with son but still often...and talk too but really quick text...Turned all business financials over to kids...access...so they watch out for me...keep me up to snuff...

No not worried...both can buy and sell me many times over...takes a lot of stress off of me at this time in my life...

[MJ2.0]

I talk to my mom maybe once a week or once every other week.  We live 2.5 hours apart and have pretty busy lives.  Plus our family just kind of keeps to themselves. 

My dad - pretty much never and that is 100% okay with me.

[NastyWoman]

Once a week. It is hard with work, life, and very different time zones. Just finding the time on where one of us is not asleep or at work, or on travel, or otherwise busy, is hard. Lot of texting though.

ETA: I only Skype with DS2, or more precisely DGS1 since it is fun to see him while we talk. Or compare wintercoats like we did last week... Show me Oma 

[wvugurl26]

I sometimes talk with my brother on my way to work.

Other people it varies. We have more texts and Facebook messenger than calls. I would say I talk with my parents at least once a month, maybe more for my dad.

DH totally calls me from the store. Better than him getting the wrong thing. He's learning what to buy.

[flamingo]

I rarely talk on the phone. You know it's serious if I'm actually speaking into my phone!

My mom and I text almost daily. She mostly texts me while she's taking her evening walk or during a tv show we both like. My dad texts me random things throughout the day, not quite as regularly, but often enough. And by random things, I mean my local weather report, the score update for a football team that I don't follow, or funny things he's seen on facebook since I refuse to be his facebook friend. LOL. My DH knows when I'm texting with my dad, b/c I'm always rolling my eyes and muttering "WTH?! I don't get it!" as my phone is dinging. 

Also, my commute to work is only about 5 minutes. When I had a 20ish minute commute, I'd call my mom and we'd talk on the way home. So, while I think it's weird that people are on the phone at 7am on their way IN to work, I get that most people have a long commute, it's probably boring, and they are able to use that time to check something off their list.

[weltschmerz]

Every day.

[andi9899]

There is some kind of communication every day. Usually text messages. We probably talk on the phone 2-3 times a week or so.

[thyme4change]

My kids are still teens, but I talk to my mother about twice a month. I'm a shitty child. But in my defense, my mother spent my childhood telling me that no one wanted me around, and I was too loud and talked too much - so she made the bed.

[cktc]

My grandma calls 4+ times a day. I'll usually talk to her once or twice. Even in small doses she's a lot. If she goes all day without calling I'll usually call the next day to check on her.

DH only talks to his parents every month or two. His mom seems happy with the arrangement. Not sure about his dad. I at least wish he'd check-in more. He lives alone, 2 hours away and is in his 70s. Sometimes when they go too long his dad won't answer when we call. Last time we had to send a friend from high school over to see if he was ok.

[chapeau]

Dec 4, 2017 9:33:00 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Dec 4, 2017 9:24:52 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

I always wonder who people are talking to when I see them on their phones in the car at 7:00 am, on their phones walking into work, on their phones at the grocery store, etc. I am pretty much never talking on my phone, except meetings at work and I am at my desk, not on the go.

I've actually heard a woman asking which one of the different cans of green beans she should buy? I have come to the conclusion that some folks are just dumbed down to where they can't even make a decision in the grocery store without calling someone to get a second/third/fourth/fifth opinion.

I've heard some other conversations in the grocery store that made me want to get out of the store so I am not in the parking lot with them since I have to wonder if they are intelligent enough to be driving!!

That could be my dad on the phone. He’s an engineer, and telling him to “grab a can of crushed tomatoes” is useless. I have seen my mom get 5 or 6 calls from one shopping trip. With a list. He calls to ask about how many ounces of tomatoes to get, which flavor, with sodium or without. Repeat for each item on the list. Makes me crazy, although I do make very precise lists when I know he’s going to be shopping.

To answer the question, my stepson talks to his dad a couple times a week, and texts me casually.
On the other side of the equation, I talk to my parents at least once a day. But they live 2 blocks away and get DD off the school bus 3 days a week, so I see them at least that often. And we often run errands for each other and cook dinner for each other’s family, so we chat about the logistics of that regularly.

[Anne_in_VA]

We talk or text with DSD a couple of times a week.  DSS or his wife not as often.  They both work and have kids, so we don't speak all that often and they don't call us, it's almost always us that call or text.  

[dee27]

When our parents were alive, I called DH's mom and dad every week. My parents lived nearby, but I called them daily since I was their chauffeur. I talk with DD once or twice per month; YDS is hard to pin down so we text (He just replied to a text from late October.) or we leave a voicemail every month. For ODS, text or voicemail is better because he travels a lot, but I talk to him every month. 

[alabamagal]

I would like to do once a week!

DD lived with us the past year and moved to Germany 2 months ago. Now we do occasional messages and video chat via WhatsApp every weekend ( so far)

ODS is not a talker, but we mostly talk every other week or so. But sometimes it is hard to get more than 2 sentences out of him. Talked more since he is asking for job hunt advice.

YDS maybe a good chat once a week. He is on his own for 6 months so sometimes need advice. We also chat/text a lot about sports. During an important football game DH and ODS will constant chat during the game.

[whoisjohngalt]

My mom talked to her mom daily. My dad talked to his mom daily. I talk to my mom daily. My husband talks to his parents daily. I don't know any other way.

DS2 told me he is buying house in our neighborhood (or better yet we should buy another house and he will live there). My youngest already informed me that he is living with me forever so "I can drive him places and find all the stuff that he looses", so we should be all set.

[whoisjohngalt]

Dec 4, 2017 9:33:00 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Dec 4, 2017 9:24:52 GMT -5 gooddecisions said:

I always wonder who people are talking to when I see them on their phones in the car at 7:00 am, on their phones walking into work, on their phones at the grocery store, etc. I am pretty much never talking on my phone, except meetings at work and I am at my desk, not on the go.

I've actually heard a woman asking which one of the different cans of green beans she should buy? I have come to the conclusion that some folks are just dumbed down to where they can't even make a decision in the grocery store without calling someone to get a second/third/fourth/fifth opinion.

I've heard some other conversations in the grocery store that made me want to get out of the store so I am not in the parking lot with them since I have to wonder if they are intelligent enough to be driving!!

O M G
sorry for derailing the thread, but!!!

My SIL, my husband's sister has lived with her parents for the past 9 yrs.  She is 50 yrs old.  She has been doing shopping with my MIL all those years.  To this day, any time she goes grocery shopping for my MIL (if MIL is sick, etc), there are about 15-20 calls, on average, that are made from SIL to MIL to ask questions.  I found that out accidentally bc they are on the same phone plan as my husband and I was checking our bill and saw the list of calls.  I am NOT exaggerating  - 15-20 calls within 2.5 hr period.

[thyme4change]

Dec 4, 2017 18:40:11 GMT -5 chapeau said:

Dec 4, 2017 9:33:00 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

I've actually heard a woman asking which one of the different cans of green beans she should buy? I have come to the conclusion that some folks are just dumbed down to where they can't even make a decision in the grocery store without calling someone to get a second/third/fourth/fifth opinion.

I've heard some other conversations in the grocery store that made me want to get out of the store so I am not in the parking lot with them since I have to wonder if they are intelligent enough to be driving!!

That could be my dad on the phone. He’s an engineer, and telling him to “grab a can of crushed tomatoes” is useless. I have seen my mom get 5 or 6 calls from one shopping trip. With a list. He calls to ask about how many ounces of tomatoes to get, which flavor, with sodium or without. Repeat for each item on the list. Makes me crazy, although I do make very precise lists when I know he’s going to be shopping.

To answer the question, my stepson talks to his dad a couple times a week, and texts me casually.
On the other side of the equation, I talk to my parents at least once a day. But they live 2 blocks away and get DD off the school bus 3 days a week, so I see them at least that often. And we often run errands for each other and cook dinner for each other’s family, so we chat about the logistics of that regularly.

I come from a family of engineers (like 18 out of 21 adults are engineers.) His inability to buy tomatoes has nothing to do with his chosen profession. Don't attribute his weaknesses and lack of kitchen/grocery abilities to engineering.

[chapeau]

Dec 5, 2017 23:06:07 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Dec 4, 2017 18:40:11 GMT -5 chapeau said:

That could be my dad on the phone. He’s an engineer, and telling him to “grab a can of crushed tomatoes” is useless. I have seen my mom get 5 or 6 calls from one shopping trip. With a list. He calls to ask about how many ounces of tomatoes to get, which flavor, with sodium or without. Repeat for each item on the list. Makes me crazy, although I do make very precise lists when I know he’s going to be shopping.

To answer the question, my stepson talks to his dad a couple times a week, and texts me casually.
On the other side of the equation, I talk to my parents at least once a day. But they live 2 blocks away and get DD off the school bus 3 days a week, so I see them at least that often. And we often run errands for each other and cook dinner for each other’s family, so we chat about the logistics of that regularly.

I come from a family of engineers (like 18 out of 21 adults are engineers.) His inability to buy tomatoes has nothing to do with his chosen profession. Don't attribute his weaknesses and lack of kitchen/grocery abilities to engineering.

We attribute most of my dad’s quirks, both good and bad, to him being an engineer. It’s probably more that bring a perfectionist made him a good engineer, and not that being an engineer made him a perfectionist, but either way, he still can’t just buy canned tomatoes.

[thyme4change]

Dec 5, 2017 23:21:38 GMT -5 chapeau said:

Dec 5, 2017 23:06:07 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

I come from a family of engineers (like 18 out of 21 adults are engineers.) His inability to buy tomatoes has nothing to do with his chosen profession. Don't attribute his weaknesses and lack of kitchen/grocery abilities to engineering.

We attribute most of my dad’s quirks, both good and bad, to him being an engineer. It’s probably more that bring a perfectionist made him a good engineer, and not that being an engineer made him a perfectionist, but either way, he still can’t just buy canned tomatoes.

Sounds like insecurity or anxiety. Or just wants to be a pain in the butt so you people will quit making him go to the store every damn day.