swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2017 9:40:27 GMT -5
The school is having a reward field trip for kids who met certain reading goals.
The trip comes up, and I remember signing DD's permission slip. It's the end of the year, and I've signed a whole to of permission slips. DS told me he was going to and that I signed a permission slip. I don't remember doing it, but whatever.
The kids are on the trip today. It's about a 90 minute bus ride away.
The school counselor, one of my friends, texts me. DS is not supposed to go and just got on the bus.
I'm so embarrassed.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 9:42:51 GMT -5
Not supposed to go why? Because he didn't reach the goals or you forgot to sign the form?
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 8, 2017 9:46:45 GMT -5
Whoops. At least you send in the permission slips. We had several 2nd and 3Rd reminders this year.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2017 9:49:27 GMT -5
He didn't reach the goals and wasn't invited on the trip.
The kids were talking about going. I remembered signing DD's slip but not DS's. They were sick a few days and a bunch of permission slips came home at once. I questioned DS about it and he told me I signed it. I didn't push it any further after that.
What I think happened is he and his sister were discussing it, and she told him he could go. He does whatever she says.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 8, 2017 9:51:23 GMT -5
My kid's school does a field day every year where each grade wears a different color t-shirt. I kept looking for a form in his folder, and am email, to see when to order. Apparently I missed this and every reminder I really don't know what the fuck happened. I was going to email the teacher, but asked DS to ask about it instead. He kept forgetting, until I finally saw her in person and asked myself. I was too late, but managed to get an order in with the business that handles it just in the nick of time. This was a total fail on my part, I guess, and I wanted to volunteer to help! I guess they didn't need more volunteers, unlike last year when they sent multiple emails out about it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 9:53:58 GMT -5
Well, that sounds more like a DS fail than a parenting fail.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 10:10:09 GMT -5
Yeah, tough Real World lesson for DS- this was one exception to the "everybody wins" mentality. Bet he'll try harder next year!
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jun 8, 2017 10:11:05 GMT -5
Someone's summer isn't going to be too much fun this year.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2017 10:24:05 GMT -5
DS is clueless. I don't think he did it to cheat, or he didn't think it was fair that he didn't get to go. He knows he doesn't get a trophy if he doesn't meet the goals, and he's good with it. He is a really smart, sweet kid who has absolutely no common sense, and if it weren't for his sister, he would probably get lost on the way to school.
I really think DD was excited about it, and I've talked about going to the place too. It sounds like a cool place and he wanted to go.
I'm going to talk to him, but I'm not going to punish him. Much.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 8, 2017 11:10:26 GMT -5
The school is having a reward field trip for kids who met certain reading goals.
The trip comes up, and I remember signing DD's permission slip. It's the end of the year, and I've signed a whole to of permission slips. DS told me he was going to and that I signed a permission slip. I don't remember doing it, but whatever.
The kids are on the trip today. It's about a 90 minute bus ride away.
The school counselor, one of my friends, texts me. DS is not supposed to go and just got on the bus.
I'm so embarrassed. Wait, wait, wait... these are elementary aged kids, right? This is not your son's fail and it's not your fail. Isn't this the school's fail? WTF kind of school doesn't have a list of which kids are supposed to be where? What, the kids just wander off wherever they want to and nobody at the school is monitoring them? The school should have a list of the kids who were invited. Shouldn't matter who has a signed permission slip (I've had to sign permission slips knowing the final outcome - winning a match, getting a score - wasn't determined yet and the permission was conditional on the outcome), the school should be in control of the whereabouts of the kids.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2017 11:20:25 GMT -5
The school is having a reward field trip for kids who met certain reading goals.
The trip comes up, and I remember signing DD's permission slip. It's the end of the year, and I've signed a whole to of permission slips. DS told me he was going to and that I signed a permission slip. I don't remember doing it, but whatever.
The kids are on the trip today. It's about a 90 minute bus ride away.
The school counselor, one of my friends, texts me. DS is not supposed to go and just got on the bus.
I'm so embarrassed. Wait, wait, wait... these are elementary aged kids, right? This is not your son's fail and it's not your fail. Isn't this the school fail? WTF kind of school doesn't have a list of which kids are supposed to be where? What, the kids just wander off wherever they want to and nobody at the school is monitoring them? The school should have a list of the kids who were invited. Shouldn't matter who has a signed permission slip (I've had to sign permission slips knowing the final outcome - winning a match, getting a score - wasn't determined yet and the permission was conditional on the outcome), the school should be in control of the whereabouts of the kids. Yes, DS is 11 and in 5th grade.
They do have a list, and he wasn't on it, The teacher called the names of the kids who were supposed to go, and he got up and joined them and managed to just wander on the bus. There are about 750 kids in the school, 180 on the field trip, and many of the kids are high needs. They realized it when he was on the bus and they were on their way. DS is not one of the high needs kids and doesn't draw attention to himself.
Mistakes happen, I understand.
When DS told me that he was going on the trip, and I didn't think he was, I should have expanded my questioning.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2017 11:23:21 GMT -5
At least you remembered there was a field trip. Gwen was talking to me in the backseat of the car about a field trip and I couldn't figure out what she was talking about.
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Waffle
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Post by Waffle on Jun 8, 2017 11:32:27 GMT -5
swamp - How long had he been on the bus before he was noticed? This might be the wrong attitude but I just find the thought of a kid sneaking onto a bus for a field trip hysterical.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2017 11:34:40 GMT -5
I don't know. Long enough that they couldn't turn back.
I know I should be horrified, but I do find it funny.
I'm embarrassed for not asking more questions when DS was talking about it. I'm embarrassed that DS is such an airhead.
I have no idea how to address this with him. Parenting is hard.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 8, 2017 11:43:58 GMT -5
I'm still not understanding why you need to address this with him and why you feel it's your fault or even his fault. Kids misunderstand, kids will try to go on things they find cool, kids will sometimes get distracted and wander off... it's part of the deal.
It's the school's job to keep track of which kid is where.
Seriously, I'd be a little worried about a school that didn't realize which kids were and weren't on the bus. Especially if many of the kids are "high needs." Those are some really crappy school policies and school monitoring. Sounds a lot like the awful stories of the flaky dive boat operators who don't count the divers and end up leaving someone in the water. That's insane and frankly scary as a parent to think that the school isn't following basic standard methodologies - like checking off a list - to know which students are where. Especially for off-campus activities. What if they didn't realize your son was with them and he happened to be in the bathroom when they left the remote site to return to school?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jun 8, 2017 11:45:54 GMT -5
I think I paid the school activity fee 12 times, or not at all. Maybe I paid one school 3 times and the other not at all?
If the school catches on they can just keep sending notices that I didn't pay it and I will just keep paying it. One day I should reconcile.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 8, 2017 11:46:03 GMT -5
I'd just have a talk with your son about what was going on. The rest..frankly, I think you are being to hard on yourself. This is really not a parenting fail. I'm always stressed out that I'm going to forget about a kid and leave one of them somewhere. It's worse now. To me, that's a parenting fail. DD1's teacher emailed us a few weeks ago. She hasn't been eating as much lunch because her teeth bothered her. (She's getting 12 year molars, plus like 4-5 other teeth are in various stages of coming in.) Her teacher said that DD1 talked her. And that DD1 asked the teacher to ask us to make a dental appointment. Now, I was pretty upset about that. I mean, we may forget a birthday party, but we don't flake out on the kids' medical care. So I politely emailed the teacher explaining that DD actually had a sealant appointment that coincided with when her teeth were bothering her and she talked to the dentist about it then. I also explained she had a cleaning coming up in another two weeks. I didn't hear a response back from the teacher. I asked DD1 why she asked her teacher to request that we make a dental appointment when she talked to the dentist about this two weeks ago. We were just shooting the shit after I picked her up from GOTR. DD replied..."I never asked my teacher to tell you guys to make me a dental appointment." So, who the heck knows what the truth is
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2017 11:46:59 GMT -5
Ok, I'm confused (not unusual). I thought they noticed him getting on the bus and corrected it then (kicked him off and back into class). I was wondering what you were going to punish him for...I figured that was big enough of one right there.
I didn't realize they saw him get on the bus for the RETURN trip.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 8, 2017 11:51:37 GMT -5
.... DS is 11 and in 5th grade.
They do have a list, and he wasn't on it, The teacher called the names of the kids who were supposed to go, and he got up and joined them and managed to just wander on the bus. .... They realized it when he was on the bus and they were on their way.
Don't be angry at your kid. He may have misunderstood, he may have thought you gave him special permission, he may have just been trying it on. Elementary aged kids do that. But seriously have a talk with the school. These are some seriously problematic, lax practices. Kids shouldn't just be wandering onto buses that are going off-site. Kids shouldn't be wandering out of their classes. And the fact they didn't do a cross-check of the list of who was actually on the bus is just. plain. nuts. Jeez, hope they come back to school with all the kids they left with. Or maybe they can just let some random kids from the park wander over to join them and return to school....
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2017 11:52:13 GMT -5
They know definitely when they get off the bus.
There are sufficient chaperones who are assigned groups of about 10, and are responsible for their 10 when they get there. The chaperones are parents, and have to drive separate. When they divided the kids up, I guess they realized they had an extra. Or at least that is how it worked for field trips I have chaperoned.
I am told he was assigned to the group with the principal.
I'm annoyed that the homeroom teachers didn't notice he was gone. I'm annoyed at me for not following up with DS. I'm annoyed for DS for being spacey.
If they didn't realize he was there and left him behind, I would freak.
At this point, he's safe and I see the humor in it. It could have been horrible. It didn't turn out horrible. I'm sure someone will get their ass chewed at school.
I think we will all learn something from this.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2017 11:55:53 GMT -5
Ok, I'm confused (not unusual). I thought they noticed him getting on the bus and corrected it then (kicked him off and back into class). I was wondering what you were going to punish him for...I figured that was big enough of one right there. I didn't realize they saw him get on the bus for the RETURN trip. I'm sorry, I'm frazzled and not being clear.
He got on the bus unnoticed. They noticed him either on the bus ride there, or when they got off the bus and assigned them to groups.
He is now enjoying a field trip that he was not supposed to go to.
I don't know if he lied to me about the permission slip to go, or he's just that spacey. I'm voting on spacey because he's a horrible liar. '
I offered to go get him, but the school said it wasn't necessary.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 8, 2017 11:56:28 GMT -5
Can we talk about the bigger issue here? How is DS going to get into a good college if he didn't complete his 5th grade reading goals? That's the real parenting fail here. You should have forced him to read until he was sick of it!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 8, 2017 11:59:23 GMT -5
Can we talk about the bigger issue here? How is DS going to get into a good college if he didn't complete his 5th grade reading goals? That's the real parenting fail here. You should have forced him to read until he was sick of it! Lol.
He did meet the reading goals. He didn't see the point in writing it down.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Jun 8, 2017 12:03:38 GMT -5
Inexcusable parenting. Inexcusable that you simply assumed you'd signed the form. Inexcusable that your son piled onto a bus for a field trip at the behest of your daughter. Inexcusable that the oversight wasn't detected until the buses had reached their destination. Inexcusable all. I really should look up what that word means.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jun 8, 2017 12:26:40 GMT -5
swamp - How long had he been on the bus before he was noticed? This might be the wrong attitude but I just find the thought of a kid sneaking onto a bus for a field trip hysterical. I actually thought the same thing but then my 5th grader signed a permission slip to go on a trip. His teacher saw the signature and called me. I said I never saw the slip but he could go. He forgot to give me the slip so he signed away. ETA that he signed the slip MOM.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Jun 8, 2017 12:36:37 GMT -5
When I was a kid, I signed my mom's name all the time to things for school. Permission slips, the 4 million forms (emergency contact, etc) sent home at the beginning of the year. I would come home with my forms filled out, just needing her signature. My sibling (3 years younger) would barely remember to bring the same form home. Well, my mom said to me one day, just sign my name to those forms, I don't have time to deal with. So, in my 9 year old brain, this meant I should just sign her name to everything. INCLUDING the letter my math teacher sent home tell my mom I was failing. I made a fatal mistake, though, and signed in purple colored pencil I got caught that time. It was embarrassing at the time, but now my mom loves to tell the story
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suesinfl
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Post by suesinfl on Jun 8, 2017 13:02:27 GMT -5
In high school, I used to sign my mom's name for my "please excuse sues from school yesterday" when I skipped school.
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ners
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Post by ners on Jun 8, 2017 13:33:42 GMT -5
My brother is 11 years younger than me. He signed my mom's name to math paper he failed. He got caught. My mom puts the paper in front of me and asks if I signed the paper. I think I gave the wrong answer when I said no I could do a better job.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 8, 2017 13:36:35 GMT -5
I signed my dad's name to my homework form when he forgot to do it. The dead give away was the hand writing was too neat. It's impossible to fake my dad's handwriting, it looks like an ancient Sanskrit language whose translation has been lost to time. He'd make an excellent doctor.
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dee27
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Post by dee27 on Jun 8, 2017 13:41:32 GMT -5
My brother is 11 years younger than me. He signed my mom's name to math paper he failed. He got caught. My mom puts the paper in front of me and asks if I signed the paper. I think I gave the wrong answer when I said no I could do a better job. My brother changed a low grade on his report card and signed my mother's name. The school called my mom because her signature was quite unique, and my mother found out about his deception. She was not pleased by his behavior.
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