Remind me again why I should take the high road at work

[Rob Base 2.0]

So there is this dude at work I really don't like. Luckily for the last 8 months I only had to interact with him one time  in person(that was about 5 months ago and was the only time we interacted, the dude just rubbed me the wrong way- rude, terse, grumpy, not friendly at all.

So normally I work hand in hand with this other dude and I like him.  I input a funding "packet" into our system, and it goes to the next person (on the next floor up).  If there are issues that person emails me and we work through it.  So now the dude I normally work with got a new job and grumpy dude is doing his job (I hope temporarily, but could be long term). 

So there was an issue with the packet and grumpy emailed me for the first time since 5 months ago.  He doesn't put my name or any greeting just

"X is wrong fix it.  Consider this a courtesy, as per XX Chief I will reject it in the future."

and that's it, no signature from him or anything, that is literally the message he sent.

So if this was our first interaction I would have let it go and took the high road, but since we had "history" I sent the below email

"It's now fixed"

We had some more similar back and forth on this packet- he replied back- "The amount is not correct" (and that was the complete message) and I emailed back "From what I see it is correct, see attached print screen" (my complete message).

Even if I'm nice to the dude, I don't see him ever being nice back

It did feel good replying the way I did, but I guess I should take the higher ground and kill him with kindness (but I really don't see that working).  But I don't think going toe with him will end well for either of us

Either way it's gonna suck working with this dude.    Either way a lose- lose.....but I guess I should be the bigger man. 

Only 5 more years and I should be financially free. 

Hopefully they get someone new to replace the dude I used to work with........

[billisonboard]

There is a lot of study on the issue of emails. What Your Email Style Reveals About Your Personality

Personally, I wish people wouldn't waste my time telling me that they hope that I am having a wonderful day. Please just get to the point. But I do tend to add the little niceties because I know that there are people like Rob who think I am being a jerk if I don't.

[Rob Base 2.0]

Trust me, I am not all about being super nice.  And like I said I dealt with the dude face to face before and he was a total butt hole.

[Plain Old Petunia]

Maybe grumpy dude simply lacks social skills?   Maybe he's slightly on the spectrum?  (Asperger's, etc.)

[wmpeon]

If I was feeling petty, I'd either start asking if coworker was ok, because why do they sound so mad, or I'd start asking for clarity.  You tell me the amount is wrong, I'd ask you to explain which amount you're referring to.

[Ava]

Kill them with kindness.
It has worked for me every time.
No matter what his issue is, believe me, be nice to him and he won't be able to resist you.
As already said by other posters; he may lack social skills, he may be borderline Asperger's, he may be going through a health issue, a divorce, financial problems, etc.

A few years ago I was working with a bully while also attending night school.
One of my electives was Psychology and I asked the teacher how to deal with a bully at work.
He told me to look at them as people. They exist outside work, and probably someone out there loves them. Thinking like this humanizes them.
He suggested inviting the bully to lunch one day, just the two of us, and to be friendly and get to know her better as a person, without ever mentioning work.
At first I thought that would be rolling over and being weak. But things were escalating and I figured I'll give it a try.
It worked as a charm. The now-ex bully became nice to me, organized a party when I graduated, etc. The downside; she kept bullying others.

There is someone at my current work who was borderline rude when I started. She is not in my group but had the cubicle right behind me. Every day I would stop over and say hello with a smile, ask about her pets, ask about her garden, etc.
No, we are not friends but she's civil towards me now.

[Tiny]

IDK, I like blunt to the point emails.   If the guy was really a a$$hole jerk he would have been blunt AND wouldn't have told you what was wrong/what he wanted and/or he would have rejected out of hand and not told you he rejected it until it was too late for you to fix.   He just would have sent it back and said it was wrong - end of message.

Seems like he was being kinda nice to you - he's just not chatty and doesn't want to be your new BFF. 



FWIW:  your replies in the OP WERE being nice to him. You let him know it was fixed and then you indicated which number you thought was correct with back up of your "opinion".... if you really want to be an A$$hole back to him - you need to stop being nice to him and make him read more OR be more vague in your replies so he has to waste time communicating with you. 
 




 

[sesfw]

Be decent to your workmate.  Decency is something you won't regret in the long run.

The price of being a jerk back is too high to pay

[Rukh O'Rorke]

Another advantage of the high road is it takes a lot less time than tit for tat

[Rob Base 2.0]

My other co-workers are having the same problem.  Also my boss too......so I think I will survive

[Rob Base 2.0]

It's gonna be interesting

Because my other co-worker complained & fwded my boss some of his rude emails, my boss went to talk to the rude dude

It did not go well.  Rude dude was rude to my boss.  He's a GS11, my boss is GS14 (government civilian pay grades). 

I suspect nothing will happen.  But it will be interesting. 

[Rukh O'Rorke]

May 15, 2017 16:31:03 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

It's gonna be interesting

Because my other co-worker complained & fwded my boss some of his rude emails, my boss went to talk to the rude dude

It did not go well.  Rude dude was rude to my boss.  He's a GS11, my boss is GS14 (government civilian pay grades). 

I suspect nothing will happen.  But it will be interesting. 

How is nothing interesting?

On Opposite Day?

[Rob Base 2.0]

May 16, 2017 21:51:09 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

May 15, 2017 16:31:03 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

It's gonna be interesting

Because my other co-worker complained & fwded my boss some of his rude emails, my boss went to talk to the rude dude

It did not go well.  Rude dude was rude to my boss.  He's a GS11, my boss is GS14 (government civilian pay grades). 

I suspect nothing will happen.  But it will be interesting. 

How is nothing interesting?

On Opposite Day?

Nothing will happen meaning no one will be fired or reprimanded or even talked to harshly or quietly.

But there will be on going drama. Especially since I only have women on my team and my boss is a woman. They are going to keep complaining and gossiping. That's the interesting part. 😀

[Bob Ross]

May 15, 2017 16:31:03 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

He's a GS11, my boss is GS14 (government civilian pay grades). 

There's the root of your problem right there.

Many of these GS's are worthless.   The ones I used to work around when I was a contractor I'd call "PE's" instead, where the PE stood for Professional Eater.  You'd hear them slurping away on their 7 daily meals over the cube walls all day long.

I had a theory that the base where I worked only offered fast food lunch options in order to kill off those folks before they could retire and collect their pensions.

[beergut]

May 18, 2017 10:15:04 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

May 15, 2017 16:31:03 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

He's a GS11, my boss is GS14 (government civilian pay grades). 

There's the root of your problem right there.

Many of these GS's are worthless.   The ones I used to work around when I was a contractor I'd call "PE's" instead, where the PE stood for Professional Eater.  You'd hear them slurping away on their 7 daily meals over the cube walls all day long.

I had a theory that the base where I worked only offered fast food lunch options in order to kill off those folks before they could retire and collect their pensions.

 Your cynicism is why I enjoy reading your posts. 

[Rob Base 2.0]

May 18, 2017 10:15:04 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

May 15, 2017 16:31:03 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

He's a GS11, my boss is GS14 (government civilian pay grades). 

There's the root of your problem right there.

Many of these GS's are worthless.   The ones I used to work around when I was a contractor I'd call "PE's" instead, where the PE stood for Professional Eater.  You'd hear them slurping away on their 7 daily meals over the cube walls all day long.

I had a theory that the base where I worked only offered fast food lunch options in order to kill off those folks before they could retire and collect their pensions.

I agree on the fast food theory. Same reason in the military dining facility they always have "short order" food (Hot dogs, hamburgers, fried chicken, bacon, sausage, etc.) readily available.

But I am using my "free" time at work to walk the 8 flights of stairs in the building 4 times a day.  Also I kicked my diet soda habit, and I actually prep my own food in the kitchen, I planning to collect my pension for a long time

[zibazinski]

You ought to see the crap food at the hospital and there's a McDonalds on the premises. Let's just say we have a lot of people that make poor choices and it shows. Why would you not serve healthy food at a hospital?

[Rob Base 2.0]

So I think now the "drama" got elevated to a disciplinary level.....we'll see though

Apparently my co-worker sent something to Grumpy Dude, Grumpy Dude did his part and sent it to the next person.  The next person sent it back saying- "X is wrong, and needs to be fixed", Grumpy Dude was like "Well that section is not too bright, so it might take awhile, blah blah".  The other person emailed back, "Well tell them to fix "X"  by doing "Q & P" and then it will be good, blah blah".  the 2 of them emailed back and forth one or 2 more times with the correction being on the top and the "that section is not too bright" email being like 3 or 4 emails down in the chain.

Then Grumpy Dude emails my co-worker saying "X needs to be fixed by doing "Q & P", see below email" (but he sent the whole chain).

Co-worker told the boss and FWDed the email chain and boss was going to take it to the higher ups.......

I am still skeptical anything will happen, but the drama is interesting

[Rukh O'Rorke]

May 18, 2017 10:15:04 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

May 15, 2017 16:31:03 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

He's a GS11, my boss is GS14 (government civilian pay grades). 

There's the root of your problem right there.

Many of these GS's are worthless.   The ones I used to work around when I was a contractor I'd call "PE's" instead, where the PE stood for Professional Eater.  You'd hear them slurping away on their 7 daily meals over the cube walls all day long.

I had a theory that the base where I worked only offered fast food lunch options in order to kill off those folks before they could retire and collect their pensions.

sto

Stop pretending you two aren't the same person 😡

[Rob Base 2.0]

May 25, 2017 17:41:19 GMT -5 Rukh O'Rorke said:

May 18, 2017 10:15:04 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

There's the root of your problem right there.

Many of these GS's are worthless.   The ones I used to work around when I was a contractor I'd call "PE's" instead, where the PE stood for Professional Eater.  You'd hear them slurping away on their 7 daily meals over the cube walls all day long.

I had a theory that the base where I worked only offered fast food lunch options in order to kill off those folks before they could retire and collect their pensions.

sto

Stop pretending you two aren't the same person 😡

I will....but only when kadee and Demi stop doing it too 😀

[Rob Base 2.0]

So update: Grumpy Dude and his boss came down to apologize to all of us. His Boss apologized real good, and he apologized.....Hopefully this is squashed

[Bob Ross]

May 26, 2017 17:06:25 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

So update: Grumpy Dude and his boss came down to apologize to all of us. His Boss apologized real good, and he apologized.....Hopefully this is squashed

What!?!  You got apologies instead of finger-pointing, fraud, and cover-up?

I'd report this to the proper authorities.  This breach of protocol cannot stand.

[MJ2.0]

May 30, 2017 10:47:45 GMT -5 Bob Ross said:

May 26, 2017 17:06:25 GMT -5 Rob Base 2.0 said:

So update: Grumpy Dude and his boss came down to apologize to all of us. His Boss apologized real good, and he apologized.....Hopefully this is squashed

What!?!  You got apologies instead of finger-pointing, fraud, and cover-up?

I'd report this to the proper authorities.  This breach of protocol cannot stand.

somebody get Nixon on the phone!