Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 20, 2017 18:51:16 GMT -5
Procedure for creating cheap chemical weapon of mass destruction: - Feed Virgil spinach salad and fruit n' nut trail mix.
- Affix dispersal unit to Virgil's rear.
- Drop Virgil out of plane over intended target.
Guaranteed 100% lethality over 20 kilometer radius.
Whooo. I ain't kiddin'.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Mar 20, 2017 19:04:09 GMT -5
Move over Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Here's the real life version of Lethal Weapon 5 < >
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citizensunite
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Post by citizensunite on Mar 20, 2017 19:07:00 GMT -5
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buystoys
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Post by buystoys on Mar 20, 2017 19:37:25 GMT -5
How quickly did your house empty? Is your wife insisting on a gas mask as emergency gear now?
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Mar 20, 2017 20:08:18 GMT -5
It's a good thing you don't smoke. One flick of the Bic, and there'd be nothing but a black hole in the middle of Toronto.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2017 20:25:19 GMT -5
Move over Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Here's the real life version of Lethal Weapon 5 < > Already exists:
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 20, 2017 20:50:39 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Mar 20, 2017 23:00:17 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Mar 20, 2017 23:06:45 GMT -5
neighbors...
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 21, 2017 0:59:13 GMT -5
How quickly did your house empty? Is your wife insisting on a gas mask as emergency gear now? Mrs. Virgil was fortunate to still be out of the house and thus clear of the toxic cloud. It's a good thing too or I'd have lost her. Classic spousal smellacide. Some time ago I happened on an Internet guide to using a colostomy bag. (I can't remember why on Earth I was there; I've never known anyone who needed one.) The point of the site was to instruct people on the use of the bags, with an emphasis on making it as stress-free as possible. But the author immediately started out with instructions on how to clean and empty the bag, and she didn't mince words when describing how horribly the bag's contents stink. I guess the stuff comes from high up in the intestinal tract and it's rank enough to cause vomiting or even knock you out cold. Even knowing this, however, I can say with confidence that if ever I could harness this afternoon's flatulence, I'd boldly enter the World Stink-off Championship against a dozen guys with colostomy bags.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Mar 21, 2017 10:11:03 GMT -5
Man, I thought the feds had mandated warning labels on that "spinach" substance........There is just something "not" right about that stuff
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ken a.k.a OMK
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They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Mar 21, 2017 10:44:32 GMT -5
It was the fruit and nut trail mix.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 21, 2017 11:39:02 GMT -5
It was the fruit and nut trail mix. It must have been the unique combination of spinach and trail mix. I eat both separately all the time and have never had any problems. Here's a trivial question for everybody (80% chance you'll get this wrong, I'm betting; I did): Without looking it up (on your honour), what is the principle gas in human flatulence?
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ken a.k.a OMK
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They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Mar 21, 2017 11:47:46 GMT -5
Methane.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 21, 2017 11:55:31 GMT -5
That was my guess too. But not only is it wrong, apparently only a third of humans can even produce methane. We'll see if anyone else can get the right answer.
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Mar 21, 2017 12:01:07 GMT -5
You should go and register a patent but with a name that would be appropriate for your "emissions" "Silent Night" is already taken so you have to come up with something else.
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ken a.k.a OMK
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They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Mar 21, 2017 12:03:33 GMT -5
Now that I'm allowed to look it up I see it is 7% methane. I wonder who did the chemical analysis?
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 21, 2017 16:49:27 GMT -5
Now that I'm allowed to look it up I see it is 7% methane. I wonder who did the chemical analysis? Probably somebody researching Canadian politics.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Mar 21, 2017 17:15:15 GMT -5
Sulfuric acid would be my first guess. My childhood memories of visiting the Upper Hotsprings or Cave & Basin in Banff National Park, is the sulfuric 'fart' smell the sulfur mineral gives off in the hot water.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Mar 22, 2017 10:17:33 GMT -5
This sort of ties in; I was in the restaurant when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really loud so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everybody was staring at me.....Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod......
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 22, 2017 10:27:38 GMT -5
This sort of ties in; I was in the restaurant when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really loud so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everybody was staring at me.....Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod...... You are outdoing yourself this morning. Bee joke included.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Mar 22, 2017 10:40:27 GMT -5
Men...and their need to announce, describe and find humor in the stuff that comes out of their bodies. I tell ya...
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Mar 22, 2017 11:05:42 GMT -5
dozen guys with colostomy bags.
The odors that come from these is very powerful
I didn't realize how much gas humans pass during the day until I received mine. I use our small bathroom and have several items of air freshener in it.
At least with a pouch I can confine the odors to one small room.
DH has a problem when he eats Brussels sprouts .............. I can always tell when he has them for lunch as I walk in after work
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Mar 22, 2017 11:40:00 GMT -5
Men...and their need to announce, describe and find humor in the stuff that comes out of their bodies. I tell ya... Remember us in grade school or junior high? That part of being gross follows sometimes into adulthood.....
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Mar 22, 2017 11:55:19 GMT -5
While we are on the subject, we dig the following from those ancient almost forgotten Wyouser archives just for Chocolate Lover : Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No , I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said', "You thought-but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "you thought-but you are wrong." So they asked him, "well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said. "I thought it was gas-but I was wrong too!"
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Mar 22, 2017 13:41:00 GMT -5
How did I get dragged into this?!
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Mar 22, 2017 16:51:45 GMT -5
This sort of ties in; I was in the restaurant when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really loud so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs I started to feel better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everybody was staring at me.....Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod...... You should submit this to notalwaysright.com.
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