35 Dumb Things You Say

[Virgil Showlion]

I felt it was my civic duty to convey this public service announcement to all of YMAM.

From The College Fix:

Student leaders of this year’s freshman orientation at James Madison University were given a list of 35 things they should avoid saying, including phrases such as “you have such a pretty face,” “love the sinner, hate the sin,” “we’re all part of the human race,” “I treat all people the same,” “it was only a joke,” “I never owned slaves,” and “people just need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps,” among other expressions.

Those phrases and others on the list “widen the diversity gap” and do not “create a safe and inclusive environment,” according to the seven-page handout, a copy of which was provided to The College Fix by a campus spokesman.

Adapted from Dr. Maura Cullen’s book “35 Dumb Things Well-Intended People Say: Surprising Things We Say that Widen the Diversity Gap,” the list also classifies some compliments and encouraging words, such as calling someone “cute” or saying “I know exactly how you feel,” as a no-no.

...

The full list of 35 “dumb” expressions is:

1. “Some of my best friends are …”
2. “I know exactly how you feel.”
3. “I don’t think of you as …”
4. “The same thing happens to me too.”
5. “It was only a joke! Don’t take things so seriously.”
6. What do ‘your’ people think.”
7. “What are you?” or “Where are you really from?”
8. “I don’t see color” or “I’m color blind.”
9. “You are so articulate.”
10. “It is so much better than it used to be. Just be patient.”
11. “You speak the language very well.”
12. Asking black people about their hair or hygiene.
13. Saying to LBGTQ people “what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your business.”
14. “Yes, but you are a ‘good’ one.”
15. “You have such a pretty face.”
16. “I never owned slaves.”
17. “If you are going to live in this country, learn to speak the language!”
18. “She/he is a good person. She/he didn’t mean anything by it.”
19. “When I’ve said the same thing to other people like you, they don’t mind.”
20. Calling women “girls, honey, sweetie pie” or other familiar terms.
21. When people of color say, “It is not the same thing.”
22. When people of faith say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”
23. When white men say, “We are the ones being discriminated against now!”
24. Referring to older people as “cute.”
25. Asking a transgender person, “What are you really? A man or a woman?”
26. Referring to the significant other, partner, or spouse of a same gender couple as their “friend.”
27. “Why do ‘they’ (fill in the blank) always have to sit together? They are always sticking together.”
28. “People just need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps.”
29. People with disabilities are “courageous.”
30. “That’s so gay/queer. That’s so retarded.”
31. “I don’t see difference. We are all part of the same race, the human race.”
32. I don’t care if you are pink, purple or orange, I treat all people the same.”
33. Asking a transgender person, “Have you had the operation.”
34. Saying to a Jewish person, “You are so lucky to have ‘your’ Christmas spread over a week!”
35. “Here’s another book on political correctness.”

As one adroit commenter noted, "'[GFY]' seems to be okay."

Half of YMAM must be guilty of referring to the courage of the disabled (#29); at least half must be guilty of expressing empathy (#2, #4); all of YM is guilty of "bootstrapping" (#28); and I can't count the number of times mmhmm has violated #31 and #32 (sorry for singling you out, mmhmm, but you're dumbing us down with your microaggressions).

Not a day goes by where I don't see somebody being complimented on their appearance or speech, or being told "It's not the same thing.", or--yes--having to endure that old chestnut, “what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your business”.

Let's stop the microaggressions, stop being dumb, and work together to make YMAM a more safe and inclusive environment for p... whatever... read the rest of the 7-page handout for yourself.

Dummies.

[mmhmm]

LOL! Not to worry, Virgil. It looks to me like some academic/author had waaay too much time on her hands. Perhaps she was just in need of a new Mercedes and this was a quick (if meaningless) means to that end. 

[rob base]

"I have to go take a "....uhm, where are you taking it too? Why don't you LEAVE it?

They should say "I have to go leave a " ...

[lexxy703]

I'm offended

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 5, 2016 13:11:28 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

LOL! Not to worry, Virgil. It looks to me like some academic/author had waaay too much time on her hands. Perhaps she was just in need of a new Mercedes and this was a quick (if meaningless) means to that end. 

These people are running your colleges and your universities.

This isn't a particularly extreme example of the kind of "safe space" policies being implemented nationwide throughout the US. There are growing legions of students, and now administrators, whose mission is to spread these doctrines and do all that it is their power to enforce them.

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 5, 2016 13:28:03 GMT -5 lexxy703 said:

I'm offended

I know exactly how you feel.

[Deleted]

I could care less.

[mmhmm]

Oct 5, 2016 13:30:47 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Oct 5, 2016 13:11:28 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

LOL! Not to worry, Virgil. It looks to me like some academic/author had waaay too much time on her hands. Perhaps she was just in need of a new Mercedes and this was a quick (if meaningless) means to that end. 

These people are running your colleges and your universities.

This isn't a particularly extreme example of the kind of "safe space" policies being implemented nationwide throughout the US. There are growing legions of students, and now administrators, whose mission is to spread these doctrines and do all that it is their power to enforce them.

That's precisely why no parent should ever give over to educators the responsibility for teaching their child(ren) to think critically. That little chore is the responsibility of the parent and there are countless opportunities to foster critical thinking during the years prior to university. If a kid ends up at university, reading this rot, and falling for it hook, line and sinker - parents, look to yourselves.

[lexxy703]

Oct 5, 2016 13:59:48 GMT -5 @joey said:

I could care less.

I think that one is on the pet peeve list!

[imawino]

I think the list is a nice start.  All those things are pretty dumb things to say.

[Virgil Showlion]

I agree the list can be a useful resource.

Check off all the expressions that offend you, tally the number of checkmarks, and spend at least that many hours per week out in the real world, away from your college playpen, until the tally drops to zero.

Get your college friends to check off all the expressions that offend them, tally the number of checkmarks, and keep at least that many feet away from them at all times until the tally drops to zero.

[swamp]

9. “You are so articulate.”

Why is this a dumb thing to say?  

If it's meant as "you are so articulate for a black person" well, yeah, that's stupid.   You are so articulate is a compliment.

[wvugurl26]

Stop with the microaggressions thing!! I had training in mid September and if I had done a shot every time the teacher used that word I would have had alcohol poisoning by lunch!

[Deleted]

I've been trying to get myself to stop doing 2 and 4 actually. I feel like it's empathetic, but realized that it generally comes across as me either belittling or trying to 'one up'. It's hard though. How does one appropriately empathize? I guess more like acknowledging what the person is saying without interjecting your own story?

[zibazinski]

What's the problem with # 17 ?   If I moved to another country, I'd expect to have to learn their language . 

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 5, 2016 16:51:11 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

What's the problem with # 17 ?   If I moved to another country, I'd expect to have to learn their language . 

Only a handful of them are inappropriate in all situations. Most of them you'd have to truly work at to be offended.

Dr. Cullen acknowledges that such comments are well-intentioned. She's ostensibly published a manual on how to be easily offended. Through some extraordinary set of circumstances, she's come to believe that people taking offense is something the world needs more of, and not only that, she's doing humanity a favour by publishing literature that trains people to take offense where none is intended.

She's training people to be babies, and college administrators are disseminating her work. It boggles the mind.

[Opti]

Oct 5, 2016 13:30:47 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Oct 5, 2016 13:11:28 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

LOL! Not to worry, Virgil. It looks to me like some academic/author had waaay too much time on her hands. Perhaps she was just in need of a new Mercedes and this was a quick (if meaningless) means to that end. 

These people are running your colleges and your universities.

This isn't a particularly extreme example of the kind of "safe space" policies being implemented nationwide throughout the US. There are growing legions of students, and now administrators, whose mission is to spread these doctrines and do all that it is their power to enforce them.

Oh nooooooz ... "Student leaders of this year’s freshman orientation at James Madison University " ...

One university to student leaders of an orientation, how widespread is this?

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 5, 2016 17:46:21 GMT -5 Opti said:

Oct 5, 2016 13:30:47 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

These people are running your colleges and your universities.

This isn't a particularly extreme example of the kind of "safe space" policies being implemented nationwide throughout the US. There are growing legions of students, and now administrators, whose mission is to spread these doctrines and do all that it is their power to enforce them.

Oh nooooooz ... "Student leaders of this year’s freshman orientation at James Madison University " ...

One university to student leaders of an orientation, how widespread is this?

I've posted other articles about (mandatory) gender pronoun training in CA, fraternities and sororities being blacklisted at Harvard, "students' rights" groups in Kansas running 1st Amendment groups off campus, the absurd demands of powerful student lobbies at Oberlin, ...

The problem is established, growing, and accelerating.

[Opti]

Oct 5, 2016 18:13:36 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Oct 5, 2016 17:46:21 GMT -5 Opti said:

Oh nooooooz ... "Student leaders of this year’s freshman orientation at James Madison University " ...

One university to student leaders of an orientation, how widespread is this?

I've posted other articles about (mandatory) gender pronoun training in CA, fraternities and sororities being blacklisted at Harvard, "students' rights" groups in Kansas running 1st Amendment groups off campus, the absurd demands of powerful student lobbies at Oberlin, ...

The problem is established, growing, and accelerating.

They are different issues. The gender pronoun thing doesn't bother me. And there's been absurd demands from student groups all the time. But I don't really want to know why this particular ones bother you.

[Virgil Showlion]

Oct 5, 2016 18:30:30 GMT -5 Opti said:

And there's been absurd demands from student groups all the time.

Not with this degree of engagement by authority, there hasn't. Universities now have entire offices devoted to placating social activists, and I'd wager at least 75% of these either started or doubled in size within the last five years.

The kicker is that the worst of the students indoctrinated into "social justice warfare" have no marketable skills save for those that qualify them to serve in such offices or political lobbies. They're ministers without a church. They either give up or insinuate themselves into whatever offices permit them to disseminate their ideas, instructing a whole new generation in the joys of being a victim.