MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 28, 2015 14:28:08 GMT -5
Oh crone, I'd say something. Not mean like, but just realistically. I sometimes think maybe ice gone too far, but while both my kids love to and I encourage them, it's not something either are top 1% at or anything. I'm the drudge who constantly asks, in their presence, my artist we meet if they re making money from their art to live, and noting how many work tons of crap jobs (often more than one) to pay rent and no not making money off of the art school debt... He is happy and since his parents are stupid I would be alone saying do something you don't want to do. So I will gift him a minimum amount of money to stay in school two more years like 6K a year let him get student loans, work two jobs and let his grand parents or someone make up a shortage if needed. I had hoped he would land a great job after college then I might help him buy a condo or something but now expect he will have a struggle so I will let him until he figures his life out. He has bedrooms at his grand parents and his dad's and when home for Christmas his sister stayed with dad so he had her room so he won't be homeless if he flounders. I wanted him to like investing and was thinking of buying him a ROTH but now won't. He can grow up first he is only 19 if he is making 20K a year paying student loans at 23 I will talk to him. If he is making 50K then I was wrong, I am not always right. I don't know what entrepreneurship and hospitality degrees lead to. while I understand your point and that it's your choice what to do with your money, this seems kinda wrong. If you want to help him with college, help him. If you want to help him with a condo, help him with a condo. If you want to attach all these strings and qualifiers on what he needs to do in order to deserve your help, you should tell him.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 28, 2015 14:32:00 GMT -5
I agree. I don't fund dumb decisions. If he wants to play then he at least needs to pick up a foreign language or two. That will get him a job dealing with different nationalities and set him apart from everyone and their brother/sister with a hospitality degree. Is he even going to a school that has a reputation for churning out good hospitality employees? He will have to do several internships.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 28, 2015 14:38:59 GMT -5
I agree. I don't fund dumb decisions. If he wants to play then he at least needs to pick up a foreign language or two. That will get him a job dealing with different nationalities and set him apart from everyone and their brother/sister with a hospitality degree. Is he even going to a school that has a reputation for churning out good hospitality employees? He will have to do several internships. I don't know that hospitality = a "dumb decision". Penn State has a rather extensive hospitality program. One of the hotels is actually run by students (well, mostly - there are full time managers and the like, but all the front desk is students. The cleaning staff might be students too). We stayed there during XBIL's graduation and everything was very nice. My cousin graduated with a hospitality and tourism degree at a BFE university in PA. She's now working at the same nursing home employer that a large chunk of my dad's family works for. It's not quite tourism, but it's tourism-adjacent. Sort of.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 28, 2015 14:40:09 GMT -5
Not that under-reporting income is ever OK, but with that kind of markup it's even more obscene. If true, I'd be seriously looking into the IRS bounty (as long as I could remain anonymous ). I have known a couple of people over the years who seem to see the owning-your-own-business thing as an easy way to not pay taxes (and who also seem surprised to learn that not everyone routinely cheats on their taxes). I don't think they really understand the potential penalties at stake or think that sort of thing only happens to celebrities. Paying taxes can be painful (especially writing out those quarterly payment checks), but it sure beats prison...
Especially with attorneys. If the lady who makes crafts doesn't pay her taxes, she will still be able to sell her crafts and make money after she is caught. I will have lost my license to practice law.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 28, 2015 14:42:21 GMT -5
Just because you guys don't know anyone with a hospitality degree doesn't mean that it's a bad choice.
There are lots of high end resorts out there, someone has to work there, and somebody has to be making a living, otherwise the resorts wouldn't exist.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 28, 2015 14:45:21 GMT -5
There's one in Orlando area that had a great reputation too but you don't go there to major in finance. If you change majors and focus sometimes you need to change schools. Considering this young man has been in school for awhile and still has awhile to go, 6 year plan I think, he needs some guidance. One of DD's friends has two brothers as well as himself who are all doing fine but his sister is floundering and now wants to be a vet tech. Great. A 25k program to make $8.75 an hour. Needless to say the whole family is unhappy and upset but no one has the courage to sit her down and say anything because they don't want to make her feel bad? So they all think and say "loser" behind her back. Lovely. I asked DD's friend was his parents going to pay for it? He said no but that they didn't want to tell her that yet. Good grief.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 28, 2015 14:47:14 GMT -5
Not that under-reporting income is ever OK, but with that kind of markup it's even more obscene. If true, I'd be seriously looking into the IRS bounty (as long as I could remain anonymous ). I have known a couple of people over the years who seem to see the owning-your-own-business thing as an easy way to not pay taxes (and who also seem surprised to learn that not everyone routinely cheats on their taxes). I don't think they really understand the potential penalties at stake or think that sort of thing only happens to celebrities. Paying taxes can be painful (especially writing out those quarterly payment checks), but it sure beats prison...
Especially with attorneys. If the lady who makes crafts doesn't pay her taxes, she will still be able to sell her crafts and make money after she is caught. I will have lost my license to practice law.
Sometimes. I know a guy who embezzled from a trust account. He just had to practice under another lawyers supervision for a year.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 28, 2015 14:48:42 GMT -5
Especially with attorneys. If the lady who makes crafts doesn't pay her taxes, she will still be able to sell her crafts and make money after she is caught. I will have lost my license to practice law.
Sometimes. I know a guy who embezzled from a trust account. He just had to practice under another lawyers supervision for a year. Then someone declined to press charges. Any attorney convicted of a felony while practicing isn't getting their license back.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 28, 2015 14:49:32 GMT -5
Ah hah! We all wondered as it was splashed all over the paper
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quince
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Post by quince on Dec 28, 2015 14:50:16 GMT -5
I have a relative with a non-hospitality degree (so just a generic bachelors degree for employability) who works at a hotel...makes >75K or so, and the perks for someone who likes to travel are AWESOME.
I wouldn't like it- hate people, don't like travel- but it doesn't seem an awful choice. Service industry is something that there will be jobs in the country for, and having a degree makes it more likely you'll be pulling the strings than folding sheets.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Dec 28, 2015 14:50:21 GMT -5
I know I don't know what it does, one reason not to advise against it. I will wait and see what happens not try to control. I won't support an adult but only help them go the way they are going so if I help him for example get a condo it means he is earning enough to support himself and stable. Helping means he gets it sooner not gets it if he never would have been able to leave home without help. Same with paying off his student loans, if he will just be suckered out of the money by his dead beat dad I won't do it. When he grows up I might or at least half if he is keeping up the payments not taking every deferment he can get and doesn't care. I don't want to be in charge of his life just help when he is doing good for himself. His degrees might be perfect for him, I don't know. He wants to manage and own a restaurant I don't think it will happen or if it does pay much but he might be awesome at it and make a fortune then own his own. I am not going to tell him not to do it or try to control him, if he is wrong he will figure it out or not.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 28, 2015 14:51:52 GMT -5
There's one in Orlando area that had a great reputation too but you don't go there to major in finance. If you change majors and focus sometimes you need to change schools. Considering this young man has been in school for awhile and still has awhile to go, 6 year plan I think, he needs some guidance. One of DD's friends has two brothers as well as himself who are all doing fine but his sister is floundering and now wants to be a vet tech. Great. A 25k program to make $8.75 an hour. Needless to say the whole family is unhappy and upset but no one has the courage to sit her down and say anything because they don't want to make her feel bad? So they all think and say "loser" behind her back. Lovely. I asked DD's friend was his parents going to pay for it? He said no but that they didn't want to tell her that yet. Good grief. The vet techs here make $20 an hour. That's not bad for a LCOLA.
My niece was on the 6 year plan. She started out as an engineer and HATED it. It would be stupid to continue on that path knowing she hated it. She left that school, lived at home, took classes at the community college, and worked to figure out what she wanted to do. She's now graduating with a graphic design degree, and appears to be quite talented. My sister and her husband funded it, and they're what's considered a power couple.
They realize some kids just take a little longer to figure out what they want to do. Might as well do it when you're young.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 28, 2015 14:52:16 GMT -5
I've heard that restaurant management can be very difficult and extremely taxing mentally. No thank you.
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cael
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Post by cael on Dec 28, 2015 14:52:31 GMT -5
DH's degree (whenever he finishes his last class ) is in hospitality management. He works for a caterer right now and would like to work either as a manager or events staff for a hotel. He really enjoys the business and has the right personality for it, is a hard worker and realizes he'll have shitty schedules as he works his way up, and I think will do well wherever he ends up. he found the program, liked the sound of it, and got a job in hospitality pretty much right away even though he isn't done with school, so it was the right thing for him. (it's an associate's degree)
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 28, 2015 14:53:09 GMT -5
But you have said he has no guidance so he's just out there. You can tell him you don't know and let him point out to you how it's good. Be a sounding board at least.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 28, 2015 14:54:10 GMT -5
I've heard that restaurant management can be very difficult and extremely taxing mentally. No thank you. I would rather eat cat food than work in restaurant management, but some people love it.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Dec 28, 2015 14:54:41 GMT -5
There's one in Orlando area that had a great reputation too but you don't go there to major in finance. If you change majors and focus sometimes you need to change schools. Considering this young man has been in school for awhile and still has awhile to go, 6 year plan I think, he needs some guidance. One of DD's friends has two brothers as well as himself who are all doing fine but his sister is floundering and now wants to be a vet tech. Great. A 25k program to make $8.75 an hour. Needless to say the whole family is unhappy and upset but no one has the courage to sit her down and say anything because they don't want to make her feel bad? So they all think and say "loser" behind her back. Lovely. I asked DD's friend was his parents going to pay for it? He said no but that they didn't want to tell her that yet. Good grief. The vet techs here make $20 an hour. That's not bad for a LCOLA.
My niece was on the 6 year plan. She started out as an engineer and HATED it. It would be stupid to continue on that path knowing she hated it. She left that school, lived at home, took classes at the community college, and worked to figure out what she wanted to do. She's now graduating with a graphic design degree, and appears to be quite talented. My sister and her husband funded it, and they're what's considered a power couple.
They realize some kids just take a little longer to figure out what they want to do. Might as well do it when you're young.
THIS! I mean look at me - I'm only just figuring out what I want to be when I grow up and I'm 33! My mom did help me to get my current BA but this next one will be all me.
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cael
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Post by cael on Dec 28, 2015 14:58:11 GMT -5
I've heard that restaurant management can be very difficult and extremely taxing mentally. No thank you. I would rather eat cat food than work in restaurant management, but some people love it. DH considered going into restaurant management, as he'd worked in restaurants for his whole working life since he was 15 up through his mid-twenties. Decided he thought he'd like hotels better, the opportunities might be better and he saw how crazed restaurant managers were/got. Funny that now he's serving food again for work, but running events for a caterer is so different from waiting tables or managing a restaurant.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Dec 28, 2015 14:59:59 GMT -5
Everyone is different, and it's possible to become happy and successful in just about any field, but it does help to make a decent amount of money and have a lifestyle you can live with. Does your nephew like the prospect of working every Friday and Saturday night? I'd steer him towards Mr Money Mustache. Work your ass off for 10 years, making and saving as much as possible, then follow your bliss....or, you can flounder around for decades like this middle-aged chick.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2015 15:00:45 GMT -5
My biggest concern with crone's nephew was 'I want to own and operate a restaurant'... Is that what most people with that degree do? Does he understand the process of getting there and running a successful restaurant? The hours? Etc.
Son would love to design video games. Who wouldn't. The reality of the situation is that most people with the degree he was looking at Don't end up with that end. They end up doing educational or government simulations, they end up in marketing, etc... IF they are actually doing something in the field. So, when he looked at the degree I also made him job shadow some of the things that people WERE doing with the degree... Not just the one end product he desired. Again though, I'm the drudge pulling down everyone's dreams..
So, does nephew want yo work in hospitality and tourism? Or does he want to own a restaurant... Would be my question...
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quince
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Post by quince on Dec 28, 2015 15:02:22 GMT -5
I got my degree- accounting, in the recommended 4 years.
My brother took 6 years + to get his degree... Computer Programming-->English-->Teaching-->who knows what he graduated with...and he's got his shit together. Independent contractor who does technical writing- he's got the talent, drive, organization, and willingness to take risks to build a business doing something that works for him.
I just plodded through, got my degree, and got a job that I stuck with for almost a decade and a half. No regrets, but the dude who tried things on for size and settled on something that really fit looks like a good decision maker from where I'm sitting.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2015 15:02:58 GMT -5
I don't mind kids taking time to figure out what they want to do and who they want to be... I love learning just for learning sake... But not at 20-50K a year...
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 28, 2015 15:03:53 GMT -5
Hey, everyone needs at least one of us!
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Dec 28, 2015 15:15:55 GMT -5
Well, the holidays aren't over yet...but so far so good. I know that good news is boring. It is always an exercise in advance planning when you have two kids...teenagers now, and where are they going to be on Christmas morning. I got them this year and fun was had by all. Crazy uncle Rick didn't show up for Christmas dinner at my folks house...but he called and gave some kind of excuse. The only real thing that kind of pissed me off is (and I'm not materialistic at all)...how many ties and shirts can a guy have or need ? I wanted some Legos. LOL.
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steff
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Post by steff on Dec 28, 2015 15:22:24 GMT -5
steff - How did your family Christmas turn out? We did Xmas eve at mom's house & it started out really quiet....kinda dead almost. My kiddo had to work, so he wasn't there. No aunt P and not my uncle, no gramma. Been years since it's basically just my brothers, spouses, and mom. My youngest brother was sick, so he was boring too. We all hated mom's ideas for dinner, so hubby smoked a 18 lb brisket that morning. I had joked with mom the week before that we wanted to go back to when the only drama was how late my brother J would be to family gatherings. He was 2 hours late. lol Mom started to get bitchy, but I reminded her about that. And I knew why he was late....the puppy. He was skipping dinner & coming late so he wouldn't have to go back out and get the puppy. when he got there, we got mom to start opening presents & after a few had been done, we went outside and brought in mom her doggie. In a picnic basket. lol she loved him. I didn't get a good pic yet tho. (sorry). She named him Bear and he's teeny tiny. Things started picking up and the fun started when everyone unwrapped the nerf guns I bought. An epic nerf gun war broke out. Literally stalking each other thru mom's house & trying to find where someone was hiding. I came home battered and bruised, but had a blast. Youngest brother liked head shots & I got shot in the eye (you'll shoot your eye out!), nose, in the lip, and a cruel side head shot that reallllllly hurt. We do something like this every year. Growing up in Houston, we used to have watergun fights, now we've switched to nerf guns. it was a toy Xmas too. Besides the nerf guns, my brothers got legos (ages 37 and 40), Star Wars toys, Dr Who toys, and candy. I got an attachment for my new Kitchen Aid mixer (it's PINK!)....anddddddddddddddd my first cell phone. LOL My mom and brothers got it for me. I'm now in the 21st century! I'm still trying to figure it all out. (dingbat mode) Kiddo eventually showed up around 10 pm and got to open his stuff. He and hubby got remote control cars & helicopters. We came home around midnight & convinced hubby to let us open up our stuff here at the house then. I got new dishes, new Pioneer Woman pots and pans & bakeware (and my kitchen aid mixer the week before). Then went to bed around 4am. Xmas day, hubby, kiddo and I did our "A Christmas Story" tradition and went out to eat Chinese food. Place was packed! No drama, No Aunt P, nothing stressful.....just a nice quiet Christmas. I did have to do a lot of rushing the days before Xmas, I had friends that last minute ordered 10 gift baskets, but luckily, I was able to clean out most of my stock to fill the baskets.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 28, 2015 15:28:23 GMT -5
You ate out with all of my people! Jews always have Chinese food on Christmas. Of course it was crowded. You probably couldn't get an "oy vey" in there, it was so packed! Glad you made a good holiday out of it. Gramma was watching you guys, to make sure no one poked their eye out with those Nerf guns. And we want to see Bear!!!!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 28, 2015 15:29:44 GMT -5
Glad it was peaceful, steff, even it means no interesting stories for us!
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steff
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Post by steff on Dec 28, 2015 15:32:37 GMT -5
You ate out with all of my people! Jews always have Chinese food on Christmas. Of course it was crowded. You probably couldn't get an "oy vey" in there, it was so packed! Glad you made a good holiday out of it. Gramma was watching you guys, to make sure no one poked their eye out with those Nerf guns. And we want to see Bear!!!! We started doing this about 4 years ago. I didn't want to cook and other than Golden Corral, Chinese food is the only thing open. Plus I'm one of the 24 hours of a Christmas Story watchers (all 24 hours), so it just seemed like a great idea for us to do. We leave it open if anyone wants to join us, but it's typically just the 3 of us. Just a few weeks ago, I read that it was a Jewish tradition....I had no idea! lol Next time I'm at mom's, I plan on taking Bear pics. There was so much running around (gun fight) that I couldn't get a good clear pic of him. All the ones I took are blurry.
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steff
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Post by steff on Dec 28, 2015 15:35:59 GMT -5
My middle brother got a Star Wars Millenium Falcon lego set, an AT Walker lego set, and an X-fighter lego set. Youngest brother got a Dr Who lego set, 4 Bionicles (I caught up on the years I didn't get him one), and a Star Wars death star 3-D puzzle.
it was a Lego year for them.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Dec 28, 2015 15:41:01 GMT -5
Nancy, you are Jewish...oy vey...how lovely and a food critic to boot? Next year I celebrate Festivus...hey that was from Seinfeld. About as NY Jewish as you can get. I'm Italian/Irish so I know all about big family, being loud and, well, just having a good time. Sometimes too much of a good time. The good news is, nobody got wacked.
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