movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,363
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Post by movingforward on Nov 11, 2015 14:07:03 GMT -5
In general, this type of attitude in the workplace bothers me. People should be allowed to do what they want on their "off-time" without judgement. It doesn't really matter if they are dealing with family/children, hanging out with friends, or sitting in their underwear binge watching Netflix. No one should be regarded as not being a team player because they don't want to hang out all night with the same damn people they see all freaking day.
In my personal experience (which I realize may not be relevant to others) the older generation seems to be the ones who believe your social time is supposed to also encompass your co-workers. This may just be specific to my industry but the older ones seem to want everyone to "bond." Personal rant here... I am sick of freaking bonding! I am tired of spending weekends at board retreats where we sit around a camp fire and "talk shop." All of this crap (like I said, in my Industry) comes from the baby boomers. The younger generations have other things to do. I have noticed as the younger generation starts to take over that board retreats and meetings are being shifted from evenings and weekends to normal working hours - THANK GOD! I am not saying there still are not some evenings and weekends involved but it is starting to be less with baby boomers moving out. Okay, that is my rant for the day. Also, I am not saying ALL baby boomers think this way so don't get your undies all in a twist. This has just been my personal experience.
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muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 11, 2015 15:43:03 GMT -5
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Nov 11, 2015 16:00:53 GMT -5
In general, this type of attitude in the workplace bothers me. People should be allowed to do what they want on their "off-time" without judgement. It doesn't really matter if they are dealing with family/children, hanging out with friends, or sitting in their underwear binge watching Netflix. No one should be regarded as not being a team player because they don't want to hang out all night with the same damn people they see all freaking day. In my personal experience (which I realize may not be relevant to others) the older generation seems to be the ones who believe your social time is supposed to also encompass your co-workers. This may just be specific to my industry but the older ones seem to want everyone to "bond." Personal rant here... I am sick of freaking bonding! I am tired of spending weekends at board retreats where we sit around a camp fire and "talk shop." All of this crap (like I said, in my Industry) comes from the baby boomers. The younger generations have other things to do. I have noticed as the younger generation starts to take over that board retreats and meetings are being shifted from evenings and weekends to normal working hours - THANK GOD! I am not saying there still are not some evenings and weekends involved but it is starting to be less with baby boomers moving out. Okay, that is my rant for the day. Also, I am not saying ALL baby boomers think this way so don't get your undies all in a twist. This has just been my personal experience. I know this has held me back in my career, but I just can't lean in like this. I don't even mind getting occasional drinks with groups of coworkers, but I hate feeling shut out because I don't want to devote my evenings and weekends to socializing with coworkers. For women, there is also the extra layer of wondering if being invited for drinks by male colleagues is a precursor to getting hit on.
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Post by mojothehelpermonkey on Nov 18, 2015 11:35:32 GMT -5
That sounds like one of the (biotech) companies I worked for. I brushed off the casual sexism I experienced because it was nothing compared to the racism my colleagues experienced. The first commenter on the blog nailed it: "Nowadays, I stay very far away from the Cool Girl trap and have added nuance to my retorts. If you make raunchy comments, my reprimanding look will tell you that is not OK around me. If you do or say something sexist I’ll say, “Mmmm… how about NO.” Over time this has gotten easier both from the standpoint that I’m more senior in my field (currently tech and startup land) and that I don’t look like a cheerleader anymore. Personally, I avoid saying anything even vaguely risqué since I’ve found some men will take that as an invitation to go to inappropriate places. The result of this is that I have cut myself out of many of the moments through which men bond and make long-term work relationships. The behavior that is natural and enjoyable for men used to working with other men comes to a halt when I’m around. I miss out on inside jokes and the late night misadventures that bond some people for their entire careers. While I have seen some women find a sweet spot somewhere in between “Cool Girl” and “prude”, that’s an impressive skill that I don’t have. Either way, the puzzle of “how to be” at work as a woman in a traditionally male space is still not solved. I’ve found this to be an unavoidable disadvantage."
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