Hmm, new job, try or not try

[Lizard Queen]

I think that life is too short to work a job you hate if you can help it. I'd try to go for that other job, if you can.

[The Captain]

Wow dude!  This is the most negative I can ever recall seeing you.

AND it's only been a week?

I'm not sure what to say, get out fast or it's just new role jitters.  Only you know the truth.

FWIW - I am sorry you're going through this. 

Scratch the first sentence - this is really the only time I can recall you posting something this negative.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

(I mean this in the kindest way possible) Are you maybe fighting the new job because you could do the other one sleepwalking and this one requires you to actually...work?  Do you have to think things through now when so much was on auto in the old position?

If so, then, unless it is a political minefield and you are simply being set up to fail and moved out, then embrace the new job.  

Cognitive atrophy is a real thing, especially at your age.   

[The Captain]

Oct 21, 2015 12:47:09 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

Yes, part is new job, part is just me getting over my control issues.

Part is legitimate, this job really is moving from a doer to a leader, but i'm a virgo, so i can't stand work not being done well or efficiently, and I get to witness a lot of that and worse, see myself unable to do the things that would make me a good example in this work because i lack the subject matter expertise.  That said,  I know my boss put me in this role because she sees me as a huge leader over time and that she sees me going big (maybe VP level one day if I really wanted it, which I don't quite).

Yesterday scheduled a meeting with our Fidelity rep to run the numbers on when i have FU money... (my calcs say 3-12 years).

I think the biggest part is me getting over my control issues. I serve at the company's pleasure and need to dive in and commit to doing whatever they need me to do. That said, i'm just really having a lot more emotional issues with this than I ever thought possible.

I think i'm synthesizing my way to something a little better.  If i can get control of the bad parts, manage expectations, get some agreed upon vision of what "success" is, and fix my f&cking attitude, then it's a huge blessing.

Ahah! 

You don't need to be a SME to improve a process.  Your boss knows this.  I bet you know how to fix issues without knowing all the details,  you just need to figure out how to break that down for areas in which you don't have 100% expertise.

To be honest, the above is what separates a leader from a doer (as you alluded to).  No boss can know 100% of what is under them, however they should know who does, how to draw on those resources, and how to leverage that across the organization.  Sorry if I sound like a motivation poster, but sometimes cliché's are true.

FWIW I think you'll be fine.  It sucks going outside your comfort zone but you can handle it.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Oct 21, 2015 12:51:31 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

Oct 21, 2015 12:43:40 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

(I mean this in the kindest way possible) Are you maybe fighting the new job because you could do the other one sleepwalking and this one requires you to actually...work?  Do you have to think things through now when so much was on auto in the old position?

If so, then, unless it is a political minefield and you are simply being set up to fail and moved out, then embrace the new job.  

Cognitive atrophy is a real thing, especially at your age.   

Atrophy at 42? Probably so, having little kids and their sleeping issues the last few years didn't help!

Yes, it requires me to work and there's uncertainty, which makes my chest tight. and i get asked stuff all day and the answer is "I don't know". I really don't know what the strategy for XYZ is or when ABC is ging to happen. I will know that in a few months, but for now, i'm inheriting and in progress tire fire, that is super strategic, and then when i meet with someone to try to get some content from them, i get an hours worth of questions about strategy that i have not had nearly enough time in the seat to synthesize.

I don't want this to hurt my brand, which is fabulous.

That said GRG, you're right on part of it. I think the biggest thing is I didn't choose it.

I'm not being set out to fail by my boss, but the other team of 30 are trying. the key is, will my boss realize that while i struggle with this, and the last two folks she fired from this struggled with this is that the common denominator is the way we work with the other team, not that all the people in the role have sucked? Who knows? It's only my livelihood and reputation on the line, so no big deal.

Can you "touch base" with her and discuss some of the challenges (i.e., trouble getting the other team to genuinely collaborate, a lack of an overall strategy, etc.) you already see in the new role?  Can you ask her for advice and/or guidance seeing as this is all outside your usual wheelhouse?  Or, was that all a given when she gave you the new role and it would be self-defeating to discuss it with her?  

If it was a given, then develop just a couple of ideas to address the issues and run them by her to start a dialogue.  

My thinking is that if she sees that you are actively, intentionally, trying to put out the tire fire but need some guidance because this is absolutely new territory for you, she'll be less likely to hold it against you(?).

[The Captain]

Let me know if you need a shovel and an extra pair of hands.

Seriously, you've got this!

[HoneyBBQ]

Your boss must have wanted you on this project for a specific reason. This is a new challenge. Testing your diversity. This is the road to Hana and sounds like you just have to kick the ass of the other 30 people who are in your way and do what you need to do. You've got this. Settle in, sharpen the blade, go for the kill.

[ArchietheDragon]

There are times I hate working for a small construction company.  then I read these and I realize why I am working for a small construction company.. 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Oct 21, 2015 15:10:51 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

There are times I hate working for a small construction company.  then I read these and I realize why I am working for a small construction company.. 

I was thinking I am just old and cranky or something because I am so tired of these kinds of games.

I just wanna do what I wanna do and what I am good at. I no longer feel the need to be challenged. I'm no longer looking to rule the world, just my little corner of it, LOL!!

[The Captain]

Oct 27, 2015 12:09:54 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

well, sinc ethis last update, I've had a few good days and some not so good ones, one day I threw my briefcase down the stairs at the house before work and started crying a bit, but then i was OK and rallied to get to work.  Nothing says "success" like tearing up in front of your wife and children.

I think things are improving from here though. luckily, my boss is back in town and can help me understand expectations, etc.

They're lucky to have you.  You're setting a good example for your kids by demonstrating that it's ok to cry when you're scared, upset, etc.

You're letting your wife know you are comfortable enough with her to be able to break down in front of her.

AND - you're ensuring you'll be a pain in their lives longer by not keeping the stress bottled in and having a heart attack at an early age.

It's very healthy actually.  Well done!

(Don't forget to breath!!!) 

[Lizard Queen]

Oct 27, 2015 13:00:37 GMT -5 @tbird said:

Have you applied for that mgr job yet? Sounds like better fit.

Life is short. Childhood even shorter.

[Lizard Queen]

Oct 27, 2015 13:27:31 GMT -5 alwaysbeoptimizing said:

Oct 27, 2015 13:20:34 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

No, talked to a coach of mine. Her thought was that there were some other key risks there around not having a network in that group, not having the senior level experience (being very new to the senior level i'm in), etc.

I think my plan is to ride this out and try to rock this and revisit in a few months.

Bummer.  Keep on keeping on.  To paraphrase a post of mine on another thread: there's working a shitty job for low pay, and working a shitty job for high pay.  At least you got the pay to deal with the shit.  Either you conquer this, or it'll be the extra motivation to FIRE instead of continuing OMY.  Maybe both.