The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Oct 15, 2015 17:45:17 GMT -5
Coddled Kids Crumble: Colleges see big lack of resilience among students www.foxnews.com/us/2015/10/15/coddled-kids-crumble-colleges-see-big-lack-resilience-among-students/In the continuing infantilizing of America’s young people, colleges report having to warn kids when they are going to talk about something that might be mentally troubling in class, with a so-called “trigger warning.” That way, in theory, a past victim of abuse or violence would be warned when graphic or violent material might be coming their way.
Are you freaking kidding me? Having to announce trigger warnings to college age adults? Gawd help me, I'm a hard ass with DD. At least now there's something to point to as it being a good thing.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 15, 2015 18:04:48 GMT -5
I'm having trouble repeating 'Coddled Kids Crumble: colleges' twice in a row.
And some folks blame Baby Boomers for how they raised their kids.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Oct 15, 2015 19:03:16 GMT -5
Coddled kids don't cope well. This is one of my gripes about being plugged in all the time with little personal interaction. I know first hand. I'm socially awkward in many situations.
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grumpyhermit
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Post by grumpyhermit on Oct 15, 2015 20:18:14 GMT -5
The Atlantic did a lengthy piece on a similar topic back in September The Coddling of the American MindIt was interesting, even if it did have me going WTF more than a few times.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Oct 15, 2015 20:25:39 GMT -5
Coddled kids don't cope well. This is one of my gripes about being plugged in all the time with little personal interaction. I know first hand. I'm socially awkward in many situations. My sister's kids are coddled and sheltered like crazy. I feel so bad for them because they won't be properly socialized or know how to handle tough situations when they get older. My niece just started middle school and still cries when she doesn't get her way and clings to her mom like a three year old. And she's very small (she just graduated to a size 7 in little girls clothes even though she's turning 12) so she would be an easy target for a bully. I wonder how she will handle a big college campus when it's time.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Oct 15, 2015 20:28:29 GMT -5
Coddled kids don't cope well. This is one of my gripes about being plugged in all the time with little personal interaction. I know first hand. I'm socially awkward in many situations. My sister's kids are coddled and sheltered like crazy. I feel so bad for them because they won't be properly socialized or know how to handle tough situations when they get older. My niece just started middle school and still cries when she doesn't get her way and clings to her mom like a three year old. And she's very small (she just graduated to a size 7 in little girls clothes even though she's turning 12) so she would be an easy target for a bully. I wonder how she will handle a big college campus when it's time. Size 7 in little girls clothes even though she's 12! I think 1 of my co-workers kids are coddled. She talked all summer about one of them being on their own once she started law school, I have yet to hear it happen.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Oct 15, 2015 21:22:02 GMT -5
My sister's kids are coddled and sheltered like crazy. I feel so bad for them because they won't be properly socialized or know how to handle tough situations when they get older. My niece just started middle school and still cries when she doesn't get her way and clings to her mom like a three year old. And she's very small (she just graduated to a size 7 in little girls clothes even though she's turning 12) so she would be an easy target for a bully. I wonder how she will handle a big college campus when it's time. Size 7 in little girls clothes even though she's 12! I think 1 of my co-workers kids are coddled. She talked all summer about one of them being on their own once she started law school, I have yet to hear it happen. Yes. She never grows. My kids were in juniors by then. They were in small sizes like 3 or so, but juniors nonetheless. And forget the "on your own when" crap. My parents have repeatedly said my sister had to get out by the age of... Yeah right. She just turned 36 and lives with my parents and her two kids. I moved out at 19 and never came back. I'm beginning to think that I'm adopted. No way could I be blood related to these people.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 16, 2015 6:02:29 GMT -5
You really aren't an Adult, until you are self sufficient and can support and fend for yourself. Be it alone or together with a spouse. When you are paying your own bills and managing your own household and living on your own means, then you are an adult. Until then, you aren't.
But, some people today seem to place very little stock in self reliance. There comes a day when you realize that you are supporting yourself and you can be proud of your efforts. and hard work of managing your own life. However, so many people today would rather be kept and have mom and dad or their girlfriend/boyfriend or the govt subsidize their lives. And, those people usually wind up to be the most self absorbed, entitled whiny people on the planet.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Oct 16, 2015 6:53:41 GMT -5
This article is pure spin IMO. DH has a kid in his classes that is a vet. He really could have used a warning or two for some classes. He has lots of triggers. Just a warning on the syllabus with the class posting would have been enough for him to know if taking one class instead of another would have been better for him. But of course he is just a total wuss who needs to get his ass kicked, until he doesn't have to be coddled like a baby.
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Bluerobin
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Post by Bluerobin on Oct 16, 2015 6:57:31 GMT -5
Too many idiots in college that aren't really smart enough to be there! If you can't handle the material, you don't belong there. Locally, we had a girl who sued the college because they would not give her more time or a private room to take a test because she couldn't handle pressure. She was in a nursing class. I sure want some nurse who has to compose herself if I arrest!!
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Oct 16, 2015 7:25:25 GMT -5
If they have "triggers" on violence or poverty and abuse at that age, when will they not? Will they need a warning at the age of forty? Who's gonna give them that warning? Is this the result of "emancipation" of sorts or just of the fact that kids are being medicated constantly if there is an issue? With so many laws and rules protecting children there is no method left to discipline them while growing up. Just taking away screen time or the games for a while doesn't work in all cases. And then you have psychologist talking to them when they get in trouble. How about opening that can and let it rip when the case calls for?
being that far gone, how is society to rely on them as adults? I'm assuming that they still want to be "productive members".
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 16, 2015 7:32:12 GMT -5
A lot of people don't care about being productive. They don't care about contributing to society. They only care about what they want Right Now and in the moment. We have raised a generation with no grit or resilience. And, told them that everyone in life is supposed to cater to them and that they should never feel a moment of unhappiness or pain or boredom or whatever.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 16, 2015 9:24:15 GMT -5
Heaven forbid Johnny is disappointed. We now have all these "no cut" teams full of kids that can't walk and chew gum because expecting kids to practice and learn new skills and actually hone those skills is now verboten. I can't understand why I have to sign my kids' homework? Why? It isn't my homework. I did my homework. If my kid doesn't want to do their own homework, then he or she can sit their behind in detention hall. That is their choice to make , not mine. No, I don't think I should have to sit and look over their shoulders and monitor their homework once they are out of 2nd grade or so. Then people wonder why they can't function in college. Duh.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Oct 16, 2015 11:36:45 GMT -5
I do think college kids are too coddled. I work at a college and so I see evidence of it everyday. Especially with the students who work in my office. I had one student's mother call me and want to talk to me about how I was "mean" to her daughter. No, I was not mean, but when your child cannot figure out how to make it to work on time, I am going to have a chat with her about why she VOLUNTEERED for the 9am shift, knowing that she's a night owl and probably can't actually get out of bed before 10am. I actually was really nice and used it as a professional development opportunity (whereas if you were a full time staff member, I would have reamed you for being an hour late 7 days in a row!!) One time, I was interviewing a student and when I asked "What would you do if someone came in to the office and asked you a question you didn't know the answer to?" her answer was, I'd call my mom. IT.WAS.AWESOME.
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grumpyhermit
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Post by grumpyhermit on Oct 16, 2015 12:32:17 GMT -5
I'm not sure if kids are more easily traumatized today or more willing to share those feelings. I'm guessing it's the latter. I think providing trigger warnings is fair although I would draw the line and removing anything that could possibly be upsetting. Or maybe they are more easily traumatized because they are more coddled. If you are going to trigger warning a syllabus you are basically going to have to disclaim every assignment, because I can almost guarantee at least one person will be able to say they were "triggered" regardless of the topic.
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mroped
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Post by mroped on Oct 16, 2015 13:37:14 GMT -5
Round them up at the beginning of the school year and put them in a boot camp for a week where they not only have to live in precarious conditions but have to figure out how to get their food. This is major BS calling 911 for a mouse and then the ensuing PTSD. Keeping it that way will send this country to hell in a hand basket!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 16, 2015 13:56:48 GMT -5
I do think college kids are too coddled. I work at a college and so I see evidence of it everyday. Especially with the students who work in my office. I had one student's mother call me and want to talk to me about how I was "mean" to her daughter. No, I was not mean, but when your child cannot figure out how to make it to work on time, I am going to have a chat with her about why she VOLUNTEERED for the 9am shift, knowing that she's a night owl and probably can't actually get out of bed before 10am. I actually was really nice and used it as a professional development opportunity (whereas if you were a full time staff member, I would have reamed you for being an hour late 7 days in a row!!) One time, I was interviewing a student and when I asked "What would you do if someone came in to the office and asked you a question you didn't know the answer to?" her answer was, I'd call my mom. IT.WAS.AWESOME. While I was at it, I might have asked the mother why she raised a kid who could not set an alarm clock properly.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Oct 16, 2015 14:05:54 GMT -5
As I sit here and read this I am parked behind my sons dorm, he's a freshman this year at a very tough University. He's been here six weeks, and this is the first time he's coming home, and only because he has a four day weekend. I can only assume he's doing OK, I've spoken to him twice since we dropped him off. If he hasn't figured out how to survive by now, he probably never will. His high school classmate text's or talks with his mom everyday, they pick him up every weekend, and complain that he doesn't seem to be adjusting to college. Well no shit, let the poor kid have a life away from home, it's sink or swim time. It's hard to let go, but if you never do, as far as I'm concerned you've failed as a parent.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Oct 16, 2015 14:08:13 GMT -5
I do think college kids are too coddled. I work at a college and so I see evidence of it everyday. Especially with the students who work in my office. I had one student's mother call me and want to talk to me about how I was "mean" to her daughter. No, I was not mean, but when your child cannot figure out how to make it to work on time, I am going to have a chat with her about why she VOLUNTEERED for the 9am shift, knowing that she's a night owl and probably can't actually get out of bed before 10am. I actually was really nice and used it as a professional development opportunity (whereas if you were a full time staff member, I would have reamed you for being an hour late 7 days in a row!!) One time, I was interviewing a student and when I asked "What would you do if someone came in to the office and asked you a question you didn't know the answer to?" her answer was, I'd call my mom. IT.WAS.AWESOME. While I was at it, I might have asked the mother why she raised a kid who could not set an alarm clock properly. Or why she never taught the kid anything about being punctual?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Oct 16, 2015 19:16:21 GMT -5
Well, if we keep arresting parents for allowing their kids to walk home from school......what do we expect?
We can't have it both ways.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Oct 16, 2015 19:22:25 GMT -5
"One time, I was interviewing a student and when I asked "What would you do if someone came in to the office and asked you a question you didn't know the answer to?" her answer was, I'd call my mom. IT.WAS.AWESOME." I am in a group of older women. One day at an outing, every time someone had a question they couldn't answer, they asked Irene. On lady said I don't know where this item is. Everyone replied, ask Irene. Very appreciated. She is a fountain of information on anything from computers to AARP to taxes to when/where the group went.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Oct 16, 2015 19:24:42 GMT -5
While I was at it, I might have asked the mother why she raised a kid who could not set an alarm clock properly. Or why she never taught the kid anything about being punctual? A lot of kids are just difficult. My DIL's sister's daughter drags her feet when trying to get her to do anything. Infuriating. I didn't get the chance to ask if she was slow getting ready for hockey practice. Probably no.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Oct 16, 2015 20:34:39 GMT -5
As I sit here and read this I am parked behind my sons dorm, he's a freshman this year at a very tough University. He's been here six weeks, and this is the first time he's coming home, and only because he has a four day weekend. I can only assume he's doing OK, I've spoken to him twice since we dropped him off. If he hasn't figured out how to survive by now, he probably never will. His high school classmate text's or talks with his mom everyday, they pick him up every weekend, and complain that he doesn't seem to be adjusting to college. Well no shit, let the poor kid have a life away from home, it's sink or swim time. It's hard to let go, but if you never do, as far as I'm concerned you've failed as a parent. My kid only comes home when she has to work. I keep trying to convince her to stay home with me but she won't. But I must say that it's a lot more peaceful with only one kid in the house.
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Oct 16, 2015 21:28:10 GMT -5
i bet the ability to drink from the garden hose and being able to stay out until the street lights come on will teach these kids!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 17, 2015 7:11:50 GMT -5
Or why she never taught the kid anything about being punctual? A lot of kids are just difficult. My DIL's sister's daughter drags her feet when trying to get her to do anything. Infuriating. I didn't get the chance to ask if she was slow getting ready for hockey practice. Probably no. At a certain point as parent to a difficult child, and I had/have one, you tell them what their actions will cost them, then you let it happen. Getting slapped in the head a few times, figuratively, is much better teacher than my nagging! Btw, DD is seeing these pampered kids in PA school. What serious losers. Some are shaping up and some are still whining. All that whining doesn't keep them from having to remediate though. Her roommates mom came in to whine as well. No dice. DD said she'd die before asking me/mommy to ask her teacher for another chance on test. If she doesn't pass a test, it's on her not the teacher. Thank GOD I did something right.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Oct 17, 2015 10:09:42 GMT -5
In order to be a success in life, you have to learn to FAIL. I don't understand these idiot parents who can't handle Johnny failing at something. Let them feel the natural consequences of their actions. When my son was 16 going over to take his driver permit test, I knew that he in no way had even read or studied the driver's manual. I said "you really should study that book". He was like 'Oh, it's commonsense mom!". Oh, ok sure son. Anyway, we went to take his test and he was all cocky walking there and then he failed it! LOL. I chuckled the whole way home. He was pissed. I said the person you need to be pissed at is YOU who neglected to study and do what you needed to do to pass. I was glad that he failed because it taught him a lesson.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 17, 2015 10:30:58 GMT -5
i bet the ability to drink from the garden hose and being able to stay out until the street lights come on will teach these kids! And make mudpies. Don't forget the mudpies. Gawd, think of all the germs we were exposed to...and survived!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Oct 19, 2015 10:22:43 GMT -5
Or why she never taught the kid anything about being punctual? A lot of kids are just difficult. My DIL's sister's daughter drags her feet when trying to get her to do anything. Infuriating. I didn't get the chance to ask if she was slow getting ready for hockey practice. Probably no. I have one kid that will pop up out of bed at 6AM and even he isn't always a morning person, or happy to be up. The other two would just as soon be shot as get up early. All 3 have managed to learn to get up when they have to and get out on time. I just can't fathom not teaching kids about getting where they need to go when they need to be there. How did the kid ever get to school on time??
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 19, 2015 16:53:30 GMT -5
We had a family like that at school. They ended up being hauled off to court bcuz kids always tardy. A LOT. Don't know what happened but they did start getting to school on time. So maybe it was a parental issue or maybe the parent was doing all they could and the kids were uncooperative.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Oct 21, 2015 0:55:20 GMT -5
My niece and I have each spoken to her 19 year old who is in college and told him he is spoiled and doesn't appreciate what he is given. His mom told me she told him she wants him to want something enough to give up buying an energy drink. This summer he worked two jobs all summer, this fall he found two jobs at college. His parents and grandparents aren't giving him anything. Last year I gave him 10K and his grandparents gave him 5K and he didn't find a job all year. This year he was not doing a good job planning how to pay for college. He told me he was working to earn rent and food money and would borrow tuition money, he didn't seem to know or care how student loans work, his dad is a deadbeat who borrow as much as he can. So I didn't give him money, his grandparents didn't and won't sign for loans, his parents are both bankrupt and his dad's dad is unable to borrow too but they were trying to get him to cosign. I wanted for him to freak out about how he would pay for tuition after he already paid the rent. His dad said spend the rent money on tuition. I asked his mom how he was doing and she said he needed 6K and was trying to get the other grandfather to cosign so I decided to give him 6K deposited in his tuition account at school. He said he appreciated it and the 10K last year and I told him he didn't appreciate last year that he just thought school was going to happen. Now he is telling his mom he is spending half my money this term and half next term and will make me proud. His dad used to be rich and since the divorce has lost two business locations and a rental house and 7 months behind on spousal support, rich kid is finding out his parents aren't and even if they are he isn't.
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