AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Sept 25, 2015 18:47:27 GMT -5
Why would someone that clearly doesn't get it after the first, after the second, after the third incident-- finally get it in a mediation? Mediation is where people go that don't have a leg to stand on to appeal to something other than reason. I hope these people also filed a liability claim against the homeowner's insurance of these folks- that would be step one for me if someone in my family got hurt like this. I'll fix my stuff- it's just stuff. You hurt family members and I promise your autistic ass that you will actually make the connection between your actions and consequences-- I will ensure the proper synapses fire, and you will not miss the point or forget. The right to self defense is not suspended due to diminished capacity of the assailant. It is not. Mediation is a process that benefits the wealthy over the poor- or in other circumstances a company versus an individual. It is a process 'agreed to' so as to avoid court, and of course juries and peers. And a warning to you as offensive as your 'shoot the autistic' nazi ass position you take, you are wrong Bubba. I'd rather have an autistic child as a neighbor than someone like you. You actively choose to be what you are. You're sorta making my point on mediation. You are correct that in many cases mediation (Arbitration) is a process big corporations who have someone by the balls in a contract of adhesion like an insurance policy (usually non-negotiable and insurance is required as a condition of mortgage lending) drag people into so as to avoid the hassle, expense, and of course uncertainty of litigation. However, generally speaking it is the side with the most to lose that proposes mediation. This lawsuit seems to me like a last resort, and while there are generally never any winners when a dispute goes to litigation- the plaintiff's have a strong case. If I were them, I would not get roped into mediation. Having gone through the expense of filing suit, I'd press on in hopes that the defendants would come to their senses and propose a reasonable settlement offer that would provide physical protection from their violent child.
|
|
fishy999
Familiar Member
Joined: Aug 9, 2015 20:40:43 GMT -5
Posts: 629
|
Post by fishy999 on Sept 26, 2015 14:20:32 GMT -5
Surprised you know what an adhesion contract is So your thoughts on mandatory arbitration in fine print in contracts- and of course arbitrators that are paid by the company Bet one of these 'contracts' is in your phone bill- did you assent to it or just accept the terms because there are no other options? That is no contract- that is a take it or leave it deal. Adhesion.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,866
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 26, 2015 15:22:18 GMT -5
Can you imagine the crap the neighbors would get if they didn't agree to mediation? They were basically forced to.
|
|
OldCoyote
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 10:34:48 GMT -5
Posts: 13,449
|
Post by OldCoyote on Sept 27, 2015 11:49:58 GMT -5
49 years ago, three young girls would catch my wife's step sister, beat her up.
After requesting help from the landlord, approaching the family, Nothing helped.
After a week or so of this the my Father in Law caught the father of the leader of little girl gang, Beat the dog crap out of him.
Guess what, vigilante justice works.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,866
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 27, 2015 12:42:11 GMT -5
But you are relying on the fact that the father of the slime that beat up your wife's stepsister had a working brain but was just an asshole. You can teach assholes to leave you alone. Someone who has a brain that doesn't function normally won't learn from getting the shit beat out of them. 5 minutes later they've forgotten that they hurt little Susie for the umpteenth time and her parent has had enough.
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,593
|
Post by Ombud on Sept 27, 2015 17:12:58 GMT -5
Agreed. The child lacks impulse control and the parents didn't prevent him from going outside. Easy to do when 2, hard now, could become impossible. What then?
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,866
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 27, 2015 17:49:07 GMT -5
That may be the entire premise of the lawsuit. Some parents care, some don't. This may force the parents to do something I don't believe there's nothing to help that young man. He isn't feral. He can be helped, I'm sure of it. Like it or not, he has to function in this world. His parents and others that are trained must and can help him.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Sept 27, 2015 22:58:08 GMT -5
Surprised you know what an adhesion contract is So your thoughts on mandatory arbitration in fine print in contracts- and of course arbitrators that are paid by the company Bet one of these 'contracts' is in your phone bill- did you assent to it or just accept the terms because there are no other options? That is no contract- that is a take it or leave it deal. Adhesion. Well, it's like I tell my attorney and my accountant- I have study up to know what the hell I'm paying them for. That, and I prefer to work remote more, and do physical inspections of property less- that has led me to more complex coverage and litigated claims within the scope of my independent claims adjusting service.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Sept 27, 2015 23:04:10 GMT -5
But you are relying on the fact that the father of the slime that beat up your wife's stepsister had a working brain but was just an asshole. You can teach assholes to leave you alone. Someone who has a brain that doesn't function normally won't learn from getting the shit beat out of them. 5 minutes later they've forgotten that they hurt little Susie for the umpteenth time and her parent has had enough. Yeah, I keep hearing this and I still want to try it just to make sure. From what I've witnessed, the attitude is- and in fact a fairly accurate paraphrasing of the actual words used is, "the child has a disability, so that means he does these things and you just have to accept it". This is the response in one form or another to every suggestion I have made. So, I finally stopped making suggestions. I pointed out that I really don't care what it takes, or what they have to do- it's their responsibility from here on out. The HD cameras are up and running, and if there are further problems, I'm sending the bill to them with a demand that they pay it. If they refuse, I will be in a similar lawsuit- and statute of limitations won't apply for a long time-- I'll be reaching back for the $3K I've already spent. I don't like being put in this position. They are leaving me with few options. I'm certain this situation is similar re: cooperation from the responsible party. Only this situation includes violence.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Sept 27, 2015 23:06:40 GMT -5
Agreed. The child lacks impulse control and the parents didn't prevent him from going outside. Easy to do when 2, hard now, could become impossible. What then? Inconvenient, uncomfortable, difficult, etc., but not impossible. Imperative, I believe is the word. The child is violent. If they'd like to keep their child at home instead of having their child end up involuntarily committed, they'd better figure out how to do the impossible. Because when violence is impossible to stop, that's where this whole thing will be headed.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,866
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 28, 2015 9:56:41 GMT -5
Unfortunately, people are been told, including their parents, that a disabled child has more rights than your non disabled child. This starts in the classroom and it's fairly true and continues on into life. This does not prepare that child for the real world btw which is why I feel it's a huge disservice to a child with special needs to be taught that the world revolves around them because it does for awhile but then not forever. As you can see the young man's parents thought their child got a "free pass" taught to them by the school system and other well meaning helpers but in reality, it's not that way. I believe had he been taught as much as possible to curb some of his bad behaviors, he'd be more socially acceptable. All kids do stupid and sometimes mean stuff. Good parents teach their children to try to think before doing. Some children get it easier than others but that doesn't mean parents should stop trying.
|
|
NastyWoman
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 20:50:37 GMT -5
Posts: 14,370
|
Post by NastyWoman on Nov 3, 2015 19:40:48 GMT -5
This story is not going away any time soon and the father of the autistic child is now on the attack and stating that he fully intends to move back into this house and of course his child is not a danger to others/out of control. I really feel for this family but the safety of the other people in the neighborhood should not just be ignored. And for what it is worth, the fact that 1 in every 68 children is now diagnosed as being somewhere on the autism spectrum, does not equate to 1 in every 68 children displaying violent behavior as is implied in this article so we shouldn't all just have to "get used to it". gma.yahoo.com/father-speaks-neighbors-lawsuit-over-son-autism-200918356--abc-news-topstories.html#
|
|
happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 20,898
Member is Online
|
Post by happyhoix on Nov 4, 2015 9:26:35 GMT -5
I don't know, mixed opinions on this. If these parents routinely let their child out of their house unsupervised, letting him roam the neighborhood at will, and they tell the other parents he can't help but punch other kids because he's autistic and they just have to deal with it, then I get why the other parents are mad.
If, on the other hand, they only let their son interact with other kids when they are closely supervising him, and only occasionally their kid switches from nice to violent so quickly they can't grab him up before he's hit someone, then it would be nice if the neighbors cut the parents some slack. Autistic kids are very, very VERY trying, and they don't see the world like other people. They don't understand that other people have feelings and don't want to be hit. They don't link time outs or spankings to their own bad behavior. It's a tremendously difficult job.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,263
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 4, 2015 9:48:41 GMT -5
I don't know, mixed opinions on this. If these parents routinely let their child out of their house unsupervised, letting him roam the neighborhood at will, and they tell the other parents he can't help but punch other kids because he's autistic and they just have to deal with it, then I get why the other parents are mad. If, on the other hand, they only let their son interact with other kids when they are closely supervising him, and only occasionally their kid switches from nice to violent so quickly they can't grab him up before he's hit someone, then it would be nice if the neighbors cut the parents some slack. Autistic kids are very, very VERY trying, and they don't see the world like other people. They don't understand that other people have feelings and don't want to be hit. They don't link time outs or spankings to their own bad behavior. It's a tremendously difficult job. I have not had experience with autism but there was a child at the daycare we use that had Shaken Baby Syndrome. He would often change on a dime and become violent towards other kids. He had a tendency to bite children. I was understanding to an extent since most children are biters at one point or another. UNTIL my daughter came home with deep bruises on her arms that looked a lot like teeth marks. A few days later she came home with deep bruises on her legs. Then on the back of her shoulder. I raised holy hell with the daycare b/c that is inexcusable. That went beyond your normal biter behavior. A few days later I was picking up my daughter and bent down to give her a hug. This child came running up to me for what I assumed was a hug as well. Out of no where he grabbed my arm and bit down it took THREE teachers to get him off me. Scared the crap out of all the kids present. I feel bad for his mother, I really really do. She's a friend of my brother's so I know from him that she's really been trying to work with the child and has gone thru a string of therapists trying to correct his behavior, especially the biting. She ended up leaving the daycare after that, my brother said she was afraid I'd pursue legal action against her. The thought never crossed my mind but if the situation had continued to escalate I probably would have eventually. He'd be much better off in a daycare where the staff is properly trained to handle his condition. My daycare was not remotely equipped/trained to do so but by law they are required to take ANY child, they cannot discriminate based on disability. It put everyone in an awkward situation, including the disabled child. I do hope she found a daycare situation that works better for her and for him. I hold no ill will towards the child or his mother, my heart breaks for his condition. I don't blame these parents for suing. I doubt it was a decision they came to lightly and is a result of a continous and possibly escalating problem. At the end of the day you have to look out for and protect your own children. I am all for understanding when it comes to those who have mental disabilities, but that should not have to extend into me or my child being physically assulted.
|
|
happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 20,898
Member is Online
|
Post by happyhoix on Nov 4, 2015 17:03:18 GMT -5
I don't know, mixed opinions on this. If these parents routinely let their child out of their house unsupervised, letting him roam the neighborhood at will, and they tell the other parents he can't help but punch other kids because he's autistic and they just have to deal with it, then I get why the other parents are mad. If, on the other hand, they only let their son interact with other kids when they are closely supervising him, and only occasionally their kid switches from nice to violent so quickly they can't grab him up before he's hit someone, then it would be nice if the neighbors cut the parents some slack. Autistic kids are very, very VERY trying, and they don't see the world like other people. They don't understand that other people have feelings and don't want to be hit. They don't link time outs or spankings to their own bad behavior. It's a tremendously difficult job. So you would be ok with your kid only getting hit or bit or slammed into the ground occasionally? Of course not. If the kid was so much bigger than mine that he could body slam my kid, it doesn't sound like they should be in the same play group in the first place. If the kid was almost always aggressive, or even if he was aggressive on a daily basis, I wouldn't want my kid in his playgroup either. But if the kid was only occasionally aggressive, and I could intervene by standing close to my kid (and if his parent could intervene by standing close to him) to separate the kids as soon as he turned on her, so there wasn't any real harm done, I would do it, in the interests of helping the autistic kid learn social skills. I know we used to lock problem people up in asylums, or in the attic, but I think it's more useful to society to help them learn how to behave around other people and go on to hold down jobs. This is why I said I wasn't sure how I felt about this - hard to tell from the article if the kid has diligent parents who supervise him all the time when he's with other kids, but once every 3 months he pushes another kid over, or if this kid is the terror of the neighborhood, biting until he draws blood, body slamming other kids, and his parents let him run loose and shrug their shoulders over his behavior. Besides, my kid wasn't autistic, and as far as I know, none of the kids he went to day care or elementary school with were, either (or they were high functioning) - and there was still a certain amount of pushing and shoving on the playground. Once, DS punched another little boy in the face and gave him a bloody nose (they were both four, and the other kid tried to shove him off a swing). Amazingly enough, my hoodlum son grew up to be a non-violent engineer. I guess in this politically correct world we want to pretend good little kids don't sometimes scuffle on the playground?
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,866
|
Post by zibazinski on Nov 4, 2015 17:20:11 GMT -5
An occasional tumble is to be expected. To have your neighborhood terrorized by someone is another thing. Those people are insane. No wonder their child runs amok. Some dipshit has told them they have every right to live where they want and their child gets a free pass. No way are those neighbors going to tolerate that. This is going to get ugly. If my neighbors, neighborhood, and children were being threatened, there's no limit to what I would do. Those parents are relying on everyone else acting civilized when they aren't. If I were them, that's not something I'd take for granted anymore.
|
|
weltschmerz
Community Leader
Joined: Jul 25, 2011 13:37:39 GMT -5
Posts: 38,962
|
Post by weltschmerz on Nov 4, 2015 18:10:24 GMT -5
To what end? This isn't an incident, it's multiple incidents. Full disclosure: I'm dealing with a similar issue. We have invested close to $3,000 repairing vandalism to our home by a 'special needs' child whose parents don't seem to understand that this cannot go on. We are NOT looking for compensation dating back over the last year, but we did inform them that future vandalism was to be repaired by our contractor, and we expected them to sign the work authorization / contract and pay the bill. They were incensed. I showed them previous invoices and HD video from our security system of their son "playing" in between our house and a neighboring house-- throwing rocks from the landscaped area at our screened in porch, and driving a screwdriver with a hammer into the stucco poking numerous holes. I then advised them that if they fail to supervise him, and refuse to take responsibility, that we WILL go back and ask for the full amount, plus damages, and legal fees in court. We have an attorney on retainer- no skin of our noses. That being said, this sounds like a similar situation. I have great empathy for people, and fortunately the ability to pay without having to demand it to this point. However, if my kids started getting physically hurt like this, then more stringent measures would have to be taken. Why would someone that clearly doesn't get it after the first, after the second, after the third incident-- finally get it in a mediation? Mediation is where people go that don't have a leg to stand on to appeal to something other than reason. I hope these people also filed a liability claim against the homeowner's insurance of these folks- that would be step one for me if someone in my family got hurt like this. I'll fix my stuff- it's just stuff. You hurt family members and I promise your autistic ass that you will actually make the connection between your actions and consequences-- I will ensure the proper synapses fire, and you will not miss the point or forget. The right to self defense is not suspended due to diminished capacity of the assailant.So, you'd beat up an autistic child? Wow! Can't say I'm the least bit surprised, however. This is coming from the same guy who feels there's nothing wrong with scaring little old ladies on the road with boat horns, which can send them into cardiac arrest. You're a real he-man Paul. Children and seniors are your victims.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Nov 4, 2015 19:03:44 GMT -5
To what end? This isn't an incident, it's multiple incidents. Full disclosure: I'm dealing with a similar issue. We have invested close to $3,000 repairing vandalism to our home by a 'special needs' child whose parents don't seem to understand that this cannot go on. We are NOT looking for compensation dating back over the last year, but we did inform them that future vandalism was to be repaired by our contractor, and we expected them to sign the work authorization / contract and pay the bill. They were incensed. I showed them previous invoices and HD video from our security system of their son "playing" in between our house and a neighboring house-- throwing rocks from the landscaped area at our screened in porch, and driving a screwdriver with a hammer into the stucco poking numerous holes. I then advised them that if they fail to supervise him, and refuse to take responsibility, that we WILL go back and ask for the full amount, plus damages, and legal fees in court. We have an attorney on retainer- no skin of our noses. That being said, this sounds like a similar situation. I have great empathy for people, and fortunately the ability to pay without having to demand it to this point. However, if my kids started getting physically hurt like this, then more stringent measures would have to be taken. Why would someone that clearly doesn't get it after the first, after the second, after the third incident-- finally get it in a mediation? Mediation is where people go that don't have a leg to stand on to appeal to something other than reason. I hope these people also filed a liability claim against the homeowner's insurance of these folks- that would be step one for me if someone in my family got hurt like this. I'll fix my stuff- it's just stuff. You hurt family members and I promise your autistic ass that you will actually make the connection between your actions and consequences-- I will ensure the proper synapses fire, and you will not miss the point or forget. The right to self defense is not suspended due to diminished capacity of the assailant.So, you'd beat up an autistic child? Wow! Can't say I'm the least bit surprised, however. This is coming from the same guy who feels there's nothing wrong with scaring little old ladies on the road with boat horns, which can send them into cardiac arrest. You're a real he-man Paul. Children and seniors are your victims.
Autistic child, dog, old bat with dementia-- doesn't much matter to me what the threat is. I will absolutely protect my wife and children from physical violence. I do not apologize for this position.
|
|
AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 11:59:07 GMT -5
Posts: 31,709
Favorite Drink: Sweetwater 420
|
Post by AgeOfEnlightenmentSCP on Nov 4, 2015 19:06:38 GMT -5
An occasional tumble is to be expected. To have your neighborhood terrorized by someone is another thing. Those people are insane. No wonder their child runs amok. Some dipshit has told them they have every right to live where they want and their child gets a free pass. No way are those neighbors going to tolerate that. This is going to get ugly. If my neighbors, neighborhood, and children were being threatened, there's no limit to what I would do. Those parents are relying on everyone else acting civilized when they aren't. If I were them, that's not something I'd take for granted anymore.Shocking how few people get this point. I've made the point so often, I'm bored with it- but all of life is economics. They haven't changed their behavior because currently it's less costly to act like idiots. Unfortunately for them, I understand economics very well, and I aim to do ONE thing: raise the cost of being an idiot. And keep raising it until they no longer wish to pay it.
|
|
weltschmerz
Community Leader
Joined: Jul 25, 2011 13:37:39 GMT -5
Posts: 38,962
|
Post by weltschmerz on Nov 4, 2015 19:45:41 GMT -5
So, you'd beat up an autistic child? Wow! Can't say I'm the least bit surprised, however. This is coming from the same guy who feels there's nothing wrong with scaring little old ladies on the road with boat horns, which can send them into cardiac arrest. You're a real he-man Paul. Children and seniors are your victims.
Autistic child, dog, old bat with dementia-- doesn't much matter to me what the threat is. I will absolutely protect my wife and children from physical violence. I do not apologize for this position. Yes, it's clear that little old lady you scared half to death was threatening your wife and children. What a bitch!
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,866
|
Post by zibazinski on Nov 4, 2015 21:51:00 GMT -5
I have no idea why this has turned from poor parenting to Paul bashing but let's drop it.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,866
|
Post by zibazinski on Nov 4, 2015 21:52:38 GMT -5
An occasional tumble is to be expected. To have your neighborhood terrorized by someone is another thing. Those people are insane. No wonder their child runs amok. Some dipshit has told them they have every right to live where they want and their child gets a free pass. No way are those neighbors going to tolerate that. This is going to get ugly. If my neighbors, neighborhood, and children were being threatened, there's no limit to what I would do. Those parents are relying on everyone else acting civilized when they aren't. If I were them, that's not something I'd take for granted anymore.Shocking how few people get this point. I've made the point so often, I'm bored with it- but all of life is economics. They haven't changed their behavior because currently it's less costly to act like idiots. Unfortunately for them, I understand economics very well, and I aim to do ONE thing: raise the cost of being an idiot. And keep raising it until they no longer wish to pay it. Hah! I wasn't even talking about suing.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,263
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 5, 2015 9:33:54 GMT -5
Besides, my kid wasn't autistic, and as far as I know, none of the kids he went to day care or elementary school with were, either (or they were high functioning) - and there was still a certain amount of pushing and shoving on the playground. Once, DS punched another little boy in the face and gave him a bloody nose (they were both four, and the other kid tried to shove him off a swing). Amazingly enough, my hoodlum son grew up to be a non-violent engineer. I guess in this politically correct world we want to pretend good little kids don't sometimes scuffle on the playground? As i said in my post I expected biting at the age this kid and my daughter were at the time. It's a part of normal childhood. What is NOT normal is my daughter coming home with bite marks so deep it took a week for the bruises to fade. This happened MULTIPLE times. What is NOT normal is a child of that age running up to an adult and biting down so hard it takes three teachers to pry him off. As far as I know I am the only adult he bit but I know there were issues with other children being harmed by him while at daycare. How long are you supposed to tolerate other kids being harmed? When are we allowed to look out for our own child and say that this behavior is unacceptable? I get the kid doesn't know any better and I couldn't expect him to regulate his behavior. That is why *I* needed to step in when my daughter was coming home with bruises. He wasn't going to stop so it was up to me to make it stop. The solution was my daughter was moved into the pre-school room a couple of months early. He stayed behind in the toddler room. Physical seperation solved the problem so I dropped it. If they had told me that I needed to suck it up b/c he doesn't know any better and it's more important for him to intergrate than my daughter to be safe then you bet your ass I would have moved up the chain of authority complete with legal action if required. From what Sroo posted all the events are isolated yes, but taken together that's a major problem. I am all for intergration and helping people live as normal a life as possible. But not at the expense of everyone around them. A five year old should not have to worry about being mowed over with a bicycle while tying his shoes.
|
|
Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 63,499
|
Post by Tennesseer on Nov 5, 2015 9:45:16 GMT -5
If you have not already done so, I would tell the day care providers the same thing you said above. I would also ask the day care providers to pass your message along to the other child's parent(s).
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,263
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 5, 2015 9:48:27 GMT -5
If you have not already done so, I would tell the day care providers the same thing you said above. I would also ask the day care providers to pass your message along to the other child's parent(s). He's no longer at our daycare. She pulled him out the day after he bit me. My brother said she was terrified of me trying to sue. I do hope they found a daycare situation that is better suited for his needs. He wasn't a BAD kid as I tried to explain to the kids who witnessed him attack me he just had issues. It was hard explaining that to a group of terrified school children/toddlers. I did tell the director that my child had permission from me to strike if the kid ever bit her again. I also made it clear what would happen if I found another bruise. The teacher in that room was fired for failing to report/document the situation and leaving it for us to discover at home. The director did a very good job of handling the situation given the fact there wasn't a lot she could do. They would have been in trouble with the state if they had kicked him out b/c it would have been considered discrimination. They were in over their heads. It was bad for everyone involved.
|
|
happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 20,898
Member is Online
|
Post by happyhoix on Nov 5, 2015 10:53:59 GMT -5
Of course not. If the kid was so much bigger than mine that he could body slam my kid, it doesn't sound like they should be in the same play group in the first place. If the kid was almost always aggressive, or even if he was aggressive on a daily basis, I wouldn't want my kid in his playgroup either. But if the kid was only occasionally aggressive, and I could intervene by standing close to my kid (and if his parent could intervene by standing close to him) to separate the kids as soon as he turned on her, so there wasn't any real harm done, I would do it, in the interests of helping the autistic kid learn social skills. I know we used to lock problem people up in asylums, or in the attic, but I think it's more useful to society to help them learn how to behave around other people and go on to hold down jobs. This is why I said I wasn't sure how I felt about this - hard to tell from the article if the kid has diligent parents who supervise him all the time when he's with other kids, but once every 3 months he pushes another kid over, or if this kid is the terror of the neighborhood, biting until he draws blood, body slamming other kids, and his parents let him run loose and shrug their shoulders over his behavior. Besides, my kid wasn't autistic, and as far as I know, none of the kids he went to day care or elementary school with were, either (or they were high functioning) - and there was still a certain amount of pushing and shoving on the playground. Once, DS punched another little boy in the face and gave him a bloody nose (they were both four, and the other kid tried to shove him off a swing). Amazingly enough, my hoodlum son grew up to be a non-violent engineer. I guess in this politically correct world we want to pretend good little kids don't sometimes scuffle on the playground? I never implied or said that kids don't get into scuffles with each other. But at the same time the parents have a duty to take reasonable precautions with their kid if they know he's likely to act out and be violent with other children. This does not sound like an ordinary kids scuffle: Any one of them could be a normal kid acting out... (even that's a stretch) but all of them? Seems to me that the supervision was very lax to allow this to happen and that there's a reasonable expectation that the kid will continue to act out. When he was 3 he tried to sit on a neighbor's cat and bit a woman. (Not sure why they blamed the kid for making the cat scratch the dog?) When he was six he spit on someone. When he was nine, there were two incidents - he knocked one kid off his bike and ran his bike into another kid. So in seven years, he did five bad things - none of which sounded like they needed medical attention? Granted the last two incidents were concerning, and especially if my son was younger than him, I wouldn't let him play around him. But frankly, five bad things in seven years doesn't make this kid sound like the neighborhood terror who will drive their property values down if he's allowed to remain. What happened to just not letting your kids play with this kid? My mom always gave me a list of neighborhood kids I was and was not allowed to play with. That seemed to work. And if there was a rough kid in the neighorhood, I had enough sense to go into the house when I saw him coming - all the little kids knew who to avoid. IMHO this is not a serious enough situation that it required a lawsuit. Nor is it a basis to try to force someone to sell their house and move.
|
|
happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 20,898
Member is Online
|
Post by happyhoix on Nov 5, 2015 11:49:09 GMT -5
When he was 3 he tried to sit on a neighbor's cat and bit a woman. (Not sure why they blamed the kid for making the cat scratch the dog?) When he was six he spit on someone. When he was nine, there were two incidents - he knocked one kid off his bike and ran his bike into another kid. So in seven years, he did five bad things - none of which sounded like they needed medical attention? Granted the last two incidents were concerning, and especially if my son was younger than him, I wouldn't let him play around him. But frankly, five bad things in seven years doesn't make this kid sound like the neighborhood terror who will drive their property values down if he's allowed to remain. 1 2What happened to just not letting your kids play with this kid? My mom always gave me a list of neighborhood kids I was and was not allowed to play with. That seemed to work. And if there was a rough kid in the neighorhood, I had enough sense to go into the house when I saw him coming - all the little kids knew who to avoid. 3 IMHO this is not a serious enough situation that it required a lawsuit. Nor is it a basis to try to force someone to sell their house and move. 1 From the article there were more incidents that fell under the innocuous - I think one of them was at 3 he entered a neighbor's garage and stole a banana. I do think there is a clear pattern of the parents not supervising the child. Which is what the neighbors are concerned about. 2 It doesn't sound like they were letting them play together. Do you think the cat was playing with him? How about the neighbor with her dogs... were they all playing hopscotch together? 3 Why should they have to go inside to avoid this terror? Again from the article that is one of the proposed 'solutions' from the family of the boy... my kid gets to play outside on odd days of the week and all of your kids can play outside on the even days. Really? Why should the majority of kids have to cower in their homes because this one kid can't be controlled? Oh hell, the kid stole a banana - the horror!!! I don't think they should HAVE to go inside to avoid this 'terror.' I think common sense would dictate if a neighbor kid approaches you and you don't like him, you go in your house. At least, that's what I did when I was growing up. I didn't consider it a restriction on my freedom, I looked on it as being smart. I agree it sounds like the neighbor isn't watching their kid well enough. I think they need to fence in their backyard and keep their child in their backyard or in their house when they can't directly supervise him. That would be the smart and neighborly thing to do. Hopefully, though mediation, that will be the conclusion they will reach. However - is this a lawsuit? Is this banana stealing kid bringing down property values? Should the other neighbors be allowed to force someone to sell their house? That sounds very extreme, to me.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on Nov 5, 2015 12:31:21 GMT -5
Let's remember I think CA required the disclosure of the existence of this when listing a house for sale.
|
|
happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 20,898
Member is Online
|
Post by happyhoix on Nov 5, 2015 14:51:54 GMT -5
Oh hell, the kid stole a banana - the horror!!! I don't think they should HAVE to go inside to avoid this 'terror.' I think common sense would dictate if a neighbor kid approaches you and you don't like him, you go in your house. At least, that's what I did when I was growing up. I didn't consider it a restriction on my freedom, I looked on it as being smart. I agree it sounds like the neighbor isn't watching their kid well enough. I think they need to fence in their backyard and keep their child in their backyard or in their house when they can't directly supervise him. That would be the smart and neighborly thing to do. Hopefully, though mediation, that will be the conclusion they will reach. However - is this a lawsuit? Is this banana stealing kid bringing down property values? Should the other neighbors be allowed to force someone to sell their house? That sounds very extreme, to me. Obviously the parents are incapable or unwilling to do this or there would have never been a lawsuit in the first place! Once again, from the article, the neighbors did sit down the parents to try to work something out. The parents wouldn't do anything. So now that the issue has been forced by the neighbors by the lawsuit they want to play nice in the sandbox?? Are you really missing this point? The neighbors had tried to find a resolution. Only when those efforts failed did they file a lawsuit. And yes, I totally think it's a valid point about property values. Would you buy a house in the same neighborhood as this violent child? Sroo you're accepting the other parent's version of events completely. The parents of the kid with autism say the accusations are unfounded and this is a witch hunt. Maybe the real truth is somewhere in the middle? Certainly if the documentation of his violent behavior includes stealing a banana and trying to sit on a cat when he was 3, I'm thinking the neighbors might be just a tad dramatic in their description. If I lived in this neigborhood, I would fence in my back yard to give my kid a protected place to play. If he was old enough to play on his own outside the fence, I'd tell him to come back into the house or into the backyard if he saw this kid coming, or to take off on his bike and keep a distance between them. If my kid was too young to play outside the fence without supervision, he'd never come in contact with this kid unless I was there supervising. If I didn't think I could move fast enough to keep this terror from reaching my kid, I would never take my kid around him. I sure as hell wouldn't disclose on my real estate form that there was a banana stealing bully in the neighborhood, if I sold the house. And I sure as hell wouldn't sue them. Mitigation sounds like a good idea. Sounds like the parents of the kid need to do a better job supervising him, or find a way to keep him contained in their yard if they can't supervise him. However, it also sounds like the neighbors ARE mounting a very public witch hunt against this kid - not nice. And not a good use of our legal system.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,866
|
Post by zibazinski on Nov 8, 2015 7:25:36 GMT -5
Let's remember I think CA required the disclosure of the existence of this when listing a house for sale. I wouldn't buy a house in this neighborhood whether I had children or not. Only a matter of time before he starts hurting adults. The idea that these "parents" let their "child" roam freely terrorizing the neighborhood ought to shock me but doesn't.
|
|